A\N: Hey everyone. Long, long, loooong time no see/update. I know, I am really sorry. I just want to apologize, but for nearly all of last summer, I was hospitalized for anorexia nervosa, and then this year I've been in college, and it has just been soooo tough with all the anxiety, and relapses, etc. Okay, anyway, I won't rant forever. I hope to be more proactive with my updates from now on ;-;. Wish me luck lol. I hope you can forgive my absence. As always, if you have any questions/comments or ideas that you think I should consider, PM me :3 Enjoy da update ;D
~SoleixDeidara~
Snowdrift
One day, that little habit of yours is going to end up killing you. Face it; there isn't exactly a way around it. I mean, what do you expect to do? Go on living like this forever? Whether you like it or not, you are going to have to eat sometime. It's only a matter of time before reality catches up to you. And do you know what happens then? You reach the crossroads. You can either choose to eat and prolong your pathetic existence, or you can just curl up and let the sleep of death embrace you. It's one or the other Deidara. One way or another…
Breathing hurt. It's actually quite fascinating, how the piercing chill of the night air of the city embeds itself in one's lungs like a dagger to the heart. It was almost amusing; the pain of inhaling almost made Deidara forget the razor blades that ran through his stomach. The feeling of the last of his muscles being shredded up for fuel was almost comforting… one way or another, it was going to come to an end very soon.
As he trudged through the frigid night, the feeling of utter loneliness slowly engulfed him, but he really didn't mind. Anything was better than the uncertainty that was Tobi and the all-consuming fear that Sasori embodied.
Like fire and ice, the two men were polar opposites when it came to Deidara's emotions. Sasori was the frigid winter, the brutal cold that, although relentless, lulled Deidara into a sense of double-edged sanctity. Tobi was the roaring blaze, the intense fire that warmed his brittle bones and made him believe in the safety of the light, but at the same time, threatened to burn out of control without the slightest indication beforehand.
Fire… The crimson flames of destruction. The red flare of desire and evil… The scarlet blood that trickles inside your body… Fear…
In the end, he was better off alone. Alone in the darkness, numb to all that existed around him. There was no fire, there was no ice; there was only darkness.
Another step caused a sharp pain to shoot through his ribs—Deidara's body threatening to give out at any given moment. He felt as if he had been drug through some macabre obstacle course where the blocks were blades, the mazes were formed by buzz saws, and the rock walls were woven from barbed wire.
In truth, Deidara wanted nothing more than to give up now and return to Tobi, but he wouldn't give Tobi the satisfaction of seeing him defeated. He would never be weak again.
Like when Sasori told you your parents were gone?
The thought had slipped into Deidara's mind for scarcely a nanosecond, but Deidara was already crashed against the sidewalk, his cheek pressed against the cold stone slick with a thin layer of ice from the frigid night, gasping for breath as if he were a frightened child that just discovered they were all alone in the world.
Whatever warmth remained in his being was mercilessly sucked away by the cold realization that, for the very first time in his life, he had nothing.
No abusive relationship, no ephemeral dreams of parents, no mysterious men that bought him and used him for his body or whisked him away to some penthouse as if his problems could simply be left behind, no kind woman with a paper umbrella, no manic stranger lusting after him as he cried himself to sleep; Deidara was finally alone.
The scuffling of leather against the cold stone of the sidewalk snapped Deidara out of his thoughts. It was a foreboding sound, which was still foreign to Deidara. He knew in his heart that the city wasn't a safe place, but then again, he had never felt safe in his entire life; why should he be afraid now. The only light came from the tranquil gaze of the moon and the artificial popping of the streetlamp as it struggled to utilize what little energy it had left.
Deidara's eyes slowly took in his surroundings. The street was completely empty, the only thing that would have solidified this even more was if a tumbleweed came rolling along in some symbolic joke of desolation. The sky above him was dark, save for the moons soft radiance, and there wasn't a sound breaking the still peace of the night air.
A breeze picked up softly, and Deidara shivered. Must have just been the wind then… He hadn't brought anything with him when he left: no money, no change of clothes, no food or water. Looking back, he was kicking himself for not bringing a jacket. It was freezing in the city, and it wasn't like he could just go into an alleyway to escape the cold—because that would work out just perfectly. However, did it really matter if he were to be jumped—or even raped—in some back alley? Who would care? It would be no different that one of the clients Sasori used to have him meet; albeit maybe they wouldn't try to feign kindheartedness. After all, that would just be another obstacle between them and the zipper on the slut's jeans.
I wonder what I am going to do… I can't very well return to Sasori's or go back to Tobi, and I don't know anyone else save for Konan, but I don't have the faintest idea where she…
The scuffling sound, closer this time, snapped Deidara into full alertness. His eyes darted around rapidly, searching for an answer amidst the dark of the night, but he could see nothing. A chill coiled down his spine, and he felt his body begin to shut down. Although, that wasn't exactly surprising; it would hardly be fair for Deidara to expect his body to perform efficiently when he willed it to cling to life on light and nothingness.
The red light in the darkness… Run away little boy… Escape while you can Deidara.
No… no, you can't run away. You aren't that frightened child anymore. Don't be afraid… Don't. Be. Afraid.
"Hello?" Deidara struggled to call out, the words barely escaping his lips. Clearing his throat and breathing deeply, Deidara reattempted the word. "Hello? I-Is, is anyone out there?"
Silence. Deidara sighed, breathing into his hands as he rubbed them together to try and create some semblance of heat from the friction. The wind picked up again, more vigorous than a breeze this time, and what little warmth remained inside his body was leeched away as the temperature seemed to drop to subzero degrees.
"If anyone is out there," Deidara half-called out, half-whispered as he resumed his slow shuffle onwards, "I don't have any money, and I'm no one special. Please…"
Once more, silence was the only answer Deidara received in return. Oh you are just being paranoid. There wouldn't be anyone in their right mind out at this hour. I mean, you are here, so that only solidifies my point.
"I mean it… I just called my boyfriend to come pick me up. Lies. He couldn't believe that I was alone on a terrible night like this. I mean, only a crazy person would think a lonely stroll in this darkness would be relaxing…"
"True, but some of us happen to like nights like this." A charming voice called out above the gusting wind.
Deidara froze, his entire body coalescing with stone, and his veins filled with ice. He couldn't tell where the owner of the voice was due to the wind tossing around the words like the eye of a maelstrom, but he knew that he had to get out of there now.
He couldn't put his finger on it, but the voice seemed wrong. Too comforting and alluring; the false promise of safety drenching the words of the stranger who called to him. His throat tightened up, and each breath seemed to choke up before it could fill his lungs with life giving air.
"Aww, don't tell me you aren't going to respond now? After I so graciously made my presence known," There was no mistaking it. The last words were tinged with darkness, an underlying threat brooding just beneath the surface. "The very least you could do is try and attempt some polite conversation."
"P-Please…" Deidara stammered, "I don't know who you are, but I really have nothing to offer you." Deidara quickly scanned his peripherals, searching for a figure in the darkness, but it was no use. His eyes saw nothing but the pale light of the moon.
"Now, you see," suddenly, the warm breath of someone that stood taller than Deidara washed over his neck, "that is where I think you are wrong."
Deidara whirled around, and he came face to face with a crimson-eyed stranger. The man's face was beautiful—it was almost unreal—the only imperfection was a scar that ran across the bridge of his nose. His dark hair framed his face and stopped around his shoulders before forming a tight ponytail. He was tall and slender, though more muscular than Deidara by a long shot. If his intentions were devious, Deidara would have a hard time overpowering the man.
"You are even more beautiful up close," the man laughed darkly, "It's almost a shame that we had to cross paths."
Deidara took a step back, but the man quickly closed the newfound distance between them. His size was misleading when it came to a brawl. Sasori had taught him a trick or two for the rare case that a client was too aggressive even by his standards. All he needed was some space… "What do you want with me?" Deidara's words were almost inaudible.
"I thought I saw a spark within you." The man said simply, "But I can no longer see what dwelled inside of you. So, regrettably, you are nothing more to me than cattle."
Cattle? Is he calling me fa…
Deidara's mind went blank and his body fell limp as the strange man lunged forward, strong arms enveloping Deidara in a vice-like embrace; the man buried his face in Deidara's neck, and Deidara's vision began to cloud over.
Deidara thrust his knee up in a tight arc, but the man's hand intercepted it before he connected with his groin. Deidara hissed, twisting and coiling his body sharply in an effort to escape the man's grip, but the arms around him suddenly seemed like an unwavering iron.
"So there remains fight within you after all… pity. It is too late for you now…" This time, Deidara felt a sharp pain in his neck, but he could muster a weak gasp as his consciousness began to slip.
Red. This color… I am supposed to be afraid of it… But, I'm not afraid anymore. I'm not afraid…
"Mom… Tobi… anybody…"
Deidara's vision was swallowed by the darkness, the light of the moon the last thing that was burned into his mind as he slipped into a dreamless sleep.
The wind whistled through Tobi's ears as he darted through the alleyways of the city; the biting chill of the night air stinging his face where the ghost whispers of fallen tears remained.
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. You know how vulnerable of a state he is in right now, yet you still do something as irrational and foolish as that.
"Deidara," Tobi breathed, the name sounding like a hymn as it left his lips, "please be okay…" He brushed a solemn tear from his face, though he knew his cloak would mask the symbolic drop of sadness from anyone that might happen to glimpse him. What was important now was finding Deidara.
Though broken and empty—though he knew that the last person Deidara wanted to see at this moment would be him—Tobi knew that something was wrong. He couldn't place a finger on it; the pit of dread that had formed in his stomach after Deidara had left had grown bigger and bigger until Tobi felt as if he were going to burst. He didn't know where Deidara was, but he knew he was in danger.
And Tobi was willing to die before he let anything else happen to Deidara, no matter what stood in his way.
Tobi inhaled deeply as he rounded a sharp corner, the scent of the city's night air, crisp yet pungent with the distant stench of refineries, filled his lungs and sharpened his focus—a razor clarity entering his being. He hadn't wanted to resort to making his presence known amongst the other beings in the city, but, if it meant finding Deidara before any harm could befall him, he knew that he would gladly deal with any backlash.
He didn't know where, but he knew Deidara was close. Tobi could practically feel his spirit emanating tangible wavelengths of fear…
Fear… No… not only that… blood. Deidara's? But wait… There is another… hunger… but this is…
The scourge of the night. The blackened hearts that pumped dust. The beauty that masked the lustful monster that persisted beneath the flesh. Vampires.
Tobi hissed in disgust. Their kind wasn't permitted within the city. They tended to be far too fickle and primal in their natures; most of them nothing more than rabid beasts that didn't even kill for need.
No… this smell wasn't quite the same. The presence was much colder and far too powerful to be such a simple undead abomination. But with the others guarding the city, what could have possibly slipped in…?
Tobi's own organization, the Akatsuki, wasn't exactly welcomed anywhere in the world, but, as long as they committed no overt acts of anarchy or gathered in large groups, the cities usually chose to turn a blind eye; not willing to have to contend with beings at their level of power.
However, vampires were not of their ilk. They were extremely unpredictable, and Tobi couldn't fathom how the guardians of this city would allow the night scourge to pass the boundaries. It was impossible… unless it was a greater vampire… perhaps even an elder or ancient… but they wouldn't venture into a city just to feed…
I couldn't be… him…? No…
Tobi cursed; realization illuminated his mind, the clockwork mechanisms of the bionic brain shifting into overdrive as blood coursed into the organ, and it took every ounce of restraint that Tobi possessed to prevent himself from reverting.
"Itachi!" Tobi bellowed, his voice breaking the whisper sweet silence of the dark city.
Follow me into the silence. Leave behind your dreams and nightmares. For I am the sleepless evil. I infest the darkness and taint the light. Heed my beck and call; become enamored with my heart of darkness until you can no longer see the light behind you. For you belong to me now…
Deidara's mind was hazy. He couldn't form coherent thoughts; each drifting image was like a puzzle piece laced together with spider's silk, falling hopelessly adrift as the thread was broken when he applied the slightest force to it. There was no existence or tangibility to his being; the only thing that persisted through the overwhelming nothingness was the sound of two voices, both of which were faceless to Deidara.
"My, my, my," the lighter voiced mused, "and here I was just preparing to devour my prey, when, out of the darkness, nobility appears. To what do I owe this honor, dragon of the crimson flame?"
A pause. Silence. It was rather infuriating. Deidara couldn't hear or see—let alone comprehend—anything past his tiny bubble of reality.
"You have nerve, I must admit." A deep voice boomed, the aggression palpable. "How dare you address me by that title."
"Not used to hearing that without the words being laden with respect I take it?"
Deidara's head hurt. Wait… pain? With a start, Deidara realized that his body was starting to register his senses; it was as if someone had initiated a total system restart, and, slowly but surely, each facet of his core was blinking to life.
"Enough. Why are you here? You know as well as I do that your kind has place in a city of mortals. There is a reason such barriers were constructed."
"Relax, we are on the same side after all," the lighter voice teased, though Deidara could sense the hostility behind the words.
I just… want sleep. Deidara's body refused to completely rematerialize into reality. He remained on the fringes of madness and order; his heart beating, but pumping only sorrow.
"While that may be true, this situation is different. Your 'prey' as you so delicately referred, is my charge, and I will not have you defile this person to satiate your bestial urges, Itachi."
"The brazen fires have ignited, it would seem," the lighter voice chided, "Calling me by name. Well, I suppose I cannot hold that against you. We are, after all, comrades. Isn't that right, Tobi?"
Tobi… Tobi. Tobi… wasn't I supposed to get away from him? I thought I had left? Why is he here now… is he even here… just a dream I suppose.
"Release him. Now." The voice commanded.
"Relax," the lighter voice said impatiently, "to my great discontent, I discovered that I am unable to draw sustenance from him. Something prevented me—"
"—what do you mean?" The voice interjected almost immediately. "Wait! You tried to feed upon him? I have half a mind to—"
"—oh would you relax," the lighter voice sighed. "Obviously? I am a vampire after all, and I thought, for a moment, that I saw something incredibly powerful dwelling within him. Like a moth to a flame, I was drawn to this boy, but, when the moment came for me to devour his essence, some unseen force prevented me from even draining him of his life's blood. See for yourself; the wound has almost completely healed."
Deidara didn't understand what was going on, but the incredulous grogginess he experienced earlier was back tenfold. He wanted to sleep for a thousand years. His body seemed to agree with his brain, and it felt as if, in any given moment, his heart might just give into the slumber and just…
stop.