A/N: Happy Thursday everyone!
Just a little warning, there's a slight mention of eating disorders in this chapter. Remember, you are loved.
On a lighter note, there's...somewhat civil conversation between the girls? We're getting there. Enjoy!
The events of that weekend seemed to be the breaking point for Galinda and Elphaba. Although they never spoke of it again, there seemed to be a silent agreement that any contact they once had with each other was over. No more vicious insults or snide remarks or messing with each other's belongings or social lives—or lack thereof.
Elphaba was perfectly content with this new arrangement. She fell easily into her routine of getting up and out of the room before Galinda woke up and slipping in late at night when the blonde was already in bed. She kept to herself in their classes and around campus. She didn't even make eye contact with her roommate, or anyone else, for that matter.
But Galinda was a naturally social creature, and it was a struggle to live in such lonesome silence. She would rather make conversation, even if it was just with the vegetable. Despite herself, and although she would never admit it, she missed the first few weeks of Shiz, when Elphaba was a vile beast who she could insult and argue with. She might even be willing to face her roommate's odd magic if it meant not being in a dorm room all by herself.
In the midst of their strange distance, Galinda found herself paying more and more attention to the green girl whenever she saw her. She didn't really know why, but she couldn't help it. When her friends asked her about it, however, she played it off as a sort of reconnaissance.
"How else am I going to get the dirt on her?" she asked. "Now that she's gone all the time, it's hard to find something to gossip about."
"Good thinking, Galinda," Milla said with a nod. She looked over her shoulder at the green girl in question, who had just taken a seat at a table in the corner of the café. It was lunch time, and the place was bustling with hungry students. But Elphaba had nothing but a glass of cider in front of her.
"Why does she always drink cider?" Shenshen asked, wrinkling her nose. "It's so weird. Why not just have water?"
"Have you ever noticed how she doesn't eat?" Pfannee asked suddenly. Her eyes were focused on the green girl, and a malicious light seemed to dance in them. "I mean, she was bony at the beginning of the year, but I think it's even worse now."
"What do you mean?" Milla asked, turning toward Pfannee.
"Haven't you ever heard of those girls who starve themselves?" Pfannee said seriously. Something about her tone sounded fake to Galinda. "They don't think they're pretty enough, so they stop eating to lose weight."
Shenshen's eyes widened, but before any of them could say anything else, Elphaba stood up from her table. They all fell silent as her gaze darted across the room, hitting them for a few brief seconds before moving on.
"Oh dear," Galinda said, looking up at the clock on the wall. "I'm going to be late for class. I'll see you girls later!" She grabbed her bag and waved goodbye to them. As soon as she was out of sight, she let out a breath she hadn't quite realized she was holding. An awful thought nagged at her. Could Pfannee be right?
From then on, Galinda watched her roommate's eating habits more closely. It was a depressing observation. The green girl rarely ate, and when she did, it was something small like an apple or half a sandwich on her way to class. She also never drank water, something that both worried and confused the blonde.
But worst of all was the night Galinda lay in bed, forcing herself to stay awake. She didn't have anything to say to her roommate, but she wanted to see anyway. It was past midnight when Elphaba slipped into the room. To Galinda's immense surprise, the green girl closed the door gently behind her so as not to make a sound. She crept agilely around the dark room, her movements slow and measured.
Is she really trying not to wake me up? Galinda thought. She immediately pushed the thought away. It was absurd to think that the vegetable had a heart, especially when it came to Galinda.
Elphaba carefully opened her wardrobe and pulled out a nightgown. The blonde shifted slightly and watched, ignoring the blush in her cheeks as Elphaba pulled off her frock. The moonlight hit the bare green skin of Elphaba's torso, causing Galinda to gulp.
Even in the dark, Elphaba seemed much too thin. Her ribs stuck out painfully from her skin, creating strange shadows down her side. Galinda screwed her eyes shut and listened intensely as her roommate changed into her nightclothes and crawled into bed, trying to lose the image that was now burned into her mind.
It had been nearly two weeks since she had spoken a word to Elphaba. As a result, Galinda was bursting with stories to tell every time she met up with her friends. She hadn't meant for this one to slip out at dinner the next day. It just sort of happened, but she immediately regretted it.
"Gross!" Milla said after Galinda finished describing what she had seen the previous night.
Pfannee just smirked. "Well if anyone is ugly enough to starve themselves, it's that green bitch. How ironic, too. She thinks she's so high and mighty, yet she's sitting there refusing to eat. Even she knows how hideous she is."
Galinda sat perfectly still, staring down at the plate of food in front of her, a sort of empty feeling growing in her chest.
Pfannee kept talking, and the others leaned in and added their own opinions. The blonde struggled to keep a scowl off her face as they spoke. By no means did she disapprove of making fun of Elphaba, but something nagged at her, insisting that this was a subject that should never be joked about. So why in Oz had she brought it up in the first place?
"Galinda?"
She looked up to find Pfannee staring at her, waiting for her to comment. The girl's eyes narrowed, drilling into Galinda. It wasn't like when Elphaba glared at her. Elphaba's glares were blazing, bright and angry and telling you that you very much deserved her wrath. But Pfannee's eyes were icy and sharp. Instead of feeling scared or guilty, Galinda clenched her fingers, pressing down into her lap to stop herself from shaking.
"I don't believe this is something we should be joking about." Her voice was quiet, steady, and cool.
"It's just the green bean," Milla protested. Shenshen nodded.
"If she's not eating," Galinda said, "…Well, that's dangerous, not funny."
Pfannee waved a hand. "Oh, who cares?"
Galinda could only stare. For a moment, she didn't recognize her friends. These were not the girls who chatted with her on their first day at Shiz. They were not the high society ladies who went shopping with her and laughed and gossiped together.
She focused on Pfannee's face—the graceful arch of her eyebrows, the ever-present tightness around her lips and at the corners of her eyes, the blush dabbed onto her cheeks. She noticed, for the first time, that there was a tiny cluster of freckles beneath Pfannee's right ear, where the corner of her jaw met her neck. She had obviously brushed cream or powder over the spots to conceal them. Galinda wondered vaguely why she would do that.
No, these weren't the girls Galinda met at the beginning of term. At least, not right now. Right now, they were the girls who had left her in her room with an enraged Elphaba, who elbowed each other out of the way to get to the Winkie prince, who made fun of her for the way that Munchkin boy continuously doted on her.
But…they were also her friends, the darlings of Shiz. If she went against them, she would lose her entire reputation. So she cleared her throat and shrugged. "I suppose you're right."
Only a moment had passed. Pfannee smirked while Milla and Shenshen giggled. They eventually moved on to the next piece of gossip, forgetting the tense moment they may or may not have noticed in the first place.
As she fell back into conversation, Galinda was once again content. She smiled and laughed and tossed her hair so it fell perfectly around her shoulders, because she knew all of Shiz was watching her, admiring her, and she had to make the best impression.
And she, too, almost forgot about the ribs poking through green skin.
Almost.
Elphaba took advantage of their empty room one afternoon to clear off her desk and smooth out the folded piece of paper she had been keeping in her bag all week. The parchment was thick and a little torn from the journey from Munchkinland, but the writing was still intact. The tiny, neat letters told Elphaba who it was from even before she looked at the signature line.
"'Dearest Fabala,'" she muttered out loud, scowling slightly.
I apologize that it has taken this long to write.
"I'm sure you do," the green girl muttered before reading on.
I have no doubt that your studies have been going well and that you're sailing through your classes. I only hope that you're still making time to eat and sleep (by the way, how much money do you have left? I know Father didn't give you that much to begin with), and maybe try socializing for once. Speaking of which, how are you getting along with your roommate? Hopefully you haven't been a complete terror to her. I wouldn't want her to think badly of the Thropp family just because you have trouble keeping your temper.
"Yeah, that's the problem, Nessa." Elphaba rolled her eyes.
Things have been different around here without you. Father's talking about moving again, although I'm not sure where. He's finally stopped hovering over me. After you left, he tried his best, but he's just not as good a caretaker as you. Not that he would ever admit it, of course.
I know you must be awfully busy—or perhaps you're just holing yourself up in your room all the time—but I hope you write back soon.
Love,
Nessa
Elphaba sat back and pressed her palms into her eyes. She could practically hear her sister's voice coming from the page, reminding her all too much of the life she had left behind. No matter how bad things were here at Shiz, they weren't as bad as they could be at home.
Not that she didn't miss Nessa. Despite all her efforts, Elphaba could never quite bring herself to resent her younger sister. She was too devoted to the small brunette, and far too guilty to be anything else.
The green girl reached into a drawer and pulled out a fresh sheet of paper and a pen, but she found herself at a loss. What could she tell Nessa about Shiz? She couldn't talk about how terrible things were with Galinda, or the number of pranks they had pulled on each other. She couldn't talk about sneaking into the library after all the buildings were closed for the night. She certainly couldn't tell her how little she'd been eating lately.
She twirled her pen in her fingers, her brow furrowing. Maybe she could tell her sister about how beautiful the campus is, and how the lake is dazzling when the sun hits it just right. She could describe the ivy-covered buildings and the cobblestone streets. She could talk about how intelligent her professors were, and how great it was to learn from so many great minds, especially ones like Dr. Dillamond.
Yes, it didn't have to be a long letter. Just something cheerful to write about so Nessa wouldn't worry—not that she would lose much sleep over it either way, but still. Elphaba put the pen to the paper.
Dear Nessa, she began.
Elphaba had just folded the letter and sealed it in an envelope when her roommate returned. The green girl had grown so used to the chilly silence of their shared room that, when Galinda did speak, it almost made her jump.
She turned to meet the blonde's eyes, which were scanning her cautiously. "Pity," Elphaba said. "I had become rather fond of you not talking to me."
"It has come to my attention, Miss Elphaba, that our relationship might be unhealthy."
Elphaba's eyes widened innocently. "You don't say? And what tipped you off? You stealing my possessions, or me ruining your dresses? Or was it the endless insults between us?"
Galinda glared at her. "I mean us not talking to each other is unhealthy. Everyone needs human interaction, and since I believe I am the only person you ever come close to—"
"Now hold on," Elphaba protested, pouting slightly. "What makes you think that? For all you know, I could have a secret lover that no one knows about. Perhaps I meet him every night. Perhaps I sneak him in to this very room and have him—"
"Enough!" Galinda said. "Why must you be so vulgar? Besides, we both know that isn't true. No boy would even consider loving you."
"Good," the green girl responded easily. "Love is for fools."
"Only the bitter say that," she replied, crossing her arms over her chest. "But as I was saying, this silence between us can't go on. I'd rather have a negative interaction than no interaction."
"Aw, is blondie not used to being ignored?"
"As a matter of fact, yes. Unlike you, people actually care about me."
Elphaba looked away, her eyes catching Nessa's letter. She scowled and pushed away all the thoughts threatening to take over. "Why would I start talking to you again?" she asked, her voice steady. "Why would I put myself through you and your friends' endless torment?"
"Because this silence is hurting you, even more than it is me."
Now Elphaba looked up, her eyebrows raised in disbelief. "What in Oz gave you that idea?"
The blonde shifted her weight from foot to foot. She bit her lip, unsure of how to respond. "I…have you eaten yet today?"
For a moment, the green girl just stared at her. Then something clicked. She glanced again at her sister's letter, then looked up at Galinda. She could feel the blood draining from her face. Perfect. This was just what she needed: her roommate to find out yet another secret about her personal life.
"I don't see how that's any of your concern," she said sternly, standing up and grabbing her bag.
"Hey, don't walk out on me!"
Elphaba ignored her, scooped up the letters on her desk, and hurried out of the room. Galinda just stared after her, even more at a loss than before.
Elphaba wasn't sure which would be worse: her roommate gossiping about how poor she was, or her roommate pitying her for her lack of money.
As if to remind the green girl of the situation, her stomach grumbled. She looked down the street toward the café. It was tempting, but she just couldn't. The little money her father had given her at the beginning of the semester was running out, and she didn't know how long it would be until she found the time for a job. So she cut her meals. She had survived on worse before at home, whenever Frex was punishing her for something or another. She would be just fine.
So long as her roommate didn't get in the way.
And for the most part, it seemed that she didn't. A couple of whispers flew around campus about how thin the green bean was, but other than that there was no reaction.
Had Elphaba been in the room more often, she might have noticed Galinda's eyes constantly following her. She might have even picked up on the concern in the blonde's voice whenever she tried to talk to her. Of course, her worrying was covered up with snide remarks and insults, but it was still there.
But instead of lingering in their room, Elphaba kept to the more deserted parts of campus. More than once she fell asleep in the library or on a bench near the canal, but she always woke up and stumbled back to Crage Hall before anyone would find her.
The next couple of weeks passed, for the most part, uneventfully. Elphaba visited Dr. Dillamond a few times, enjoying in depth conversations with him over a plate of cookies or sandwiches. She decided it was too much effort to try to avoid Galinda and her friends and had resigned herself to simply ignoring them once again. During all of this, Boq kept starting conversations with her when they found themselves alone for a moment or two. Elphaba found the Munchkin endearing, and he was polite to her, so they kept up a tentative acquaintanceship. He also had yet to entirely give up hope on Miss Galinda, although he seemed to be biding his time.
Nessa wrote to her again, and this time the envelope felt heavier. Confused, Elphaba opened it on the spot—after looking around to see if anyone was watching her.
A thick wad of money was stuffed in with the letter. Elphaba was torn between relief and embarrassment. She pulled out the letter and read through it quickly.
Elphaba,
I'm glad you're enjoying school so much, although I notice you failed to mention anyone but your teachers. Still, I'm sure the campus is as beautiful as you described it to be. Hopefully one day I can visit and see for myself.
I also noticed that you failed to mention money or food. I know you've either run out by now or are skipping most of your meals to salvage what remains of what Father gave you, so I've sent some money with this letter. Don't worry. I asked Father for money to buy a new pair of earrings. He doesn't know what I really did with it. However, I doubt I could pull a stunt like that again, so you should really be careful with your budgeting. Stick to the necessities, instead of buying endless amounts of books.
Elphaba rolled her eyes. Father would give Nessa anything she asked for. She probably just felt too guilty after lying to him. It was frowned upon in the eyes of the Unnamed God or something like that.
By the way, I found out where Father is thinking of moving to—the Colwen Grounds. He's been talking about getting back in touch with mother's side of the family. It's rather exciting, actually. Just think of what it would be like to live with the Eminent Thropp!
Your sister,
Nessa
Elphaba looked down at the money in her hand for a moment. Then, slowly, she tucked it into her bag and began to walk back to her dorm. But first, she stopped at a café and bought two apples and a sandwich.
Never in her life had she tasted anything better.