Tell me pretty lies,

Look me in the face,

Tell me that you love me,

Even if it's fake,

'Cause I don't fucking care, at all

Day 2

Day 1 consisted of eating junk food and passing out after crying himself to sleep, which makes him feel ridiculous considering the fact that he was only "with" sebastian for about 3 weeks.

It's really strange that he didn't even realize his own feelings until the fight that occurred, making him stay up until he just couldn't anymore, thinking of when this really happened.

He knew the rules, he knew what Sebastian did and didn't want and he really thought it was okay. He didn't even notice himself slowly moving in, didn't even let himself think that he didn't truly have a home to go to besides Sebastian, him and Claude's place surely not his anymore.

Now it's day 2 and he refuses to get out of bed and it's 3 pm, and he's just so tired and drained. He didn't sleep well, considering he's grown accustomed to somebody holding him at night, whether it was Claude or Sebastian. He hasn't been alone since he was 14 years old.

He doesn't know what to do with himself, or how to cope. The emotions of losing Claude and now Sebastian quickly catching up to him. He isn't sad about losing Claude, he kind of saw it coming, it's the fact that he decided on somebody else besides him.

He decided he wasn't good enough, and didn't even have the courtesy of leaving him before sleeping with somebody else.

He was foolish to think him and Sebastian would work. Ciel is sensitive, he doesn't have it in him to do something with no connection. He is incapable of not letting himself get feelings and he shouldn't of even jumped into this without thinking with anything other than his dick.

Now that's a lie, only thinking with his dick. But he won't acknowledge that for a while.

He just wants somebody to care, and he hates himself for not being good enough for even that.

Just a hole for me to fuck.

Maybe that's all he's really good for.

So he continues to lay there, occasionally crying, just thinking. Starting to feel a little numb, and he doesn't even notice the time ticking away, 4 hours passing by without him moving what so ever.

He feels a weight jump onto the bed and he lets out a huff. "Leave me alone, Alois." He's not in the mood and at the moment he feels like he will never be in the mood for anything ever again.

"Ciel, I'm not going to let you just lay here and act like you're dying. Get out of bed, at least to eat with me, please? I ordered us some chinese food." Alois says, smiling sadly at the lump of sadness. He moves Ciel onto his back and gently straddles his hips and leans down to press a kiss to his forehead. "C'mon, boo."

Ciel sighs loudly, closing his eyes and basking in the attention secretly, letting himself feel like he's cared for even if its for a brief amount of time. He really loves Alois right now, don't know where he'd be without him.

Ciel nods his head, succumbing to his fate and taps Alois on the hip. "Let me up, then."

Alois smiles big, and jumps off of Ciel and stands, holding his hand out for his friend to take.

Ciel get's out of bed for exactly one hour, letting Alois talk to him and eats a little bit of food, not really having a big appetite, but he considers it a win.

He got up for one hour.

Day 3

Day 3 is slightly better. He actually decides to get up at 12 pm this time to shower and change his clothes. He hasn't bathed since the night before the fight, and he feels gross. He knows a shower would help, make him relax and ease the ache inside of him for at least a little bit.

He stands and walks to his suit case, opening it up to find an outfit. He just wants a sweater and some shorts so he doesn't get too hot. He's rummaging around, looking for a sweater when he finds Sebastian's red sweater. He instantly frowns at it.

Sebastian must of packed it without realizing it was his, which is stupid because it's way too big on Ciel.

Memories flash in his mind of the night he wore it. They were happy that day, giggling into each other's mouths and Ciel kept calling him daddy to ease him on, get him all hot and bothered and he remembers Sebastian holding him on the couch afterwards, looking at him with so much fondness and it makes Ciel's chest ache and it brings tears to his eyes again. He brings the sweater up to his nose and inhales, taking in the smell of Sebastian, warm and so so there that it's making him cry hard without even realizing it.

It smells like cinnamon and apples. Like comfort. He stupidly decides that he's going to wear it, hauling himself to the bathroom to take a shower.

After his shower, he puts on the sweater, sniffeling as he lays back in bed and closes his eyes, letting the sweet smell of Sebastian attack his senses.

That's when Alois decides to come in and check up on him, seeing the look on Ciel's face and frowns, crawling into the bed and laying behind Ciel, bringing him into his arms and just holds him without a word, rocking him as he starts crying.

Day 3 hurts, and all he wants is for it to get better.

-Warning-

Day 4

Day 4 is a horribly bad day. Ciel feels insanely lonely. And he makes a very bad choice, that he knows he shouldn't do but he can't think straight, just wanting attention, wanting to be touched, wanting to feel needed and wanted.

So he gets out of bed, wearing clothes too big for him that make him seem so small and fragile and he eyes Alois. He's sitting on the couch, eating vanilla wafers and watching some dumb modeling show and Ciel just wants attention.

Ciel walks over and plucks the box of cookies out of Alois' hands and places himself in his lap, wrapping his arms around his neck and lays his head on his shoulder.

"You okay, Ciel?" Is all Alois says, thinking nothing out of the ordinary of this encounter, so he just rubs his back, pulling him a little closer and continues watching his show.

Bad idea.

Ciel moves to look at Alois and pouts, letting out a huff that makes Alois look away from the tv and at Ciel. "What?"

Ciel kisses him, and hard.

Ciel knows this is stupid. Ciel knows that this is a bad coping mechanisim. He knows deep down he doesn't want Alois, but Sebastian. He knows this is loneliness and fear taking over his body, but he wants attention, he wants to feel wanted. He wants the pain out of his mind like Sebastian did when it came to Claude.

Alois is frozen under him, but then he quickly responds, putting his hands on Ciel's hips as they kiss quite frantically. Ciel places his hands on Alois' neck, licking into his mouth, catching the little moans, embedding it onto his tongue and memory.

Quite frankly, 2 bottoms don't make a top, but they aren't really thinking of that right now.

Ciel grabs Alois' hands and puts them onto his ass and starts grinding down, feeling his ass get squeezed and this is exactly what he wanted. What he needed. He's grinding down so hard he needs to catch his breath, to let out a loud moan and tilts his head back as he moves his hips in little circles. Alois automatically latches onto his neck, giving the skin a hard suck, making the other boy moan and grip onto his hair.

"Mark me, mark me please." He wants to feel owned and this is so horrible. He wants to cum and it's all he wants right now. He has this sick idea in his mind that if Alois marks him up, Sebastian will magically see or fucking feel it in his senses and get mad and demand Ciel back. But Ciel knows that's a reach but he doesn't care, but the thought makes him grind down faster, breathing heavier as Alois nods his head and marks his neck up, biting and sucking, gripping on Ciel's ass and forcing him to go faster.

Alois is slightly panicking inside, he's never been like, a top. He hasn't been the one to give pleasure, so when Ciel moans out for him to get his fingers inside of him, he freezes for a second, his eyes going wide.

He just wants his friend to feel better, and he has a guilt feeling sicking down into his heart, but he does what Ciel asks of him, slipping his hands into the boxers and rubbing the tip of his finger against his rim, hearing the boy's breath falter for a moment.

Ciel loses it when a finger slides inside of him, dry and painful, but he needs it, he's starved for it, so he grinds down against it, moaning under his breath as he moves a hand down, shoving it into Alois' pants and rubs the palm of his hand against the erection, making Alois groan, biting into his shoulder hard, making Ciel moan out his name loudly.

That's when it crashes in his mind, the illusion. "I'm not Sebastian, Ciel."

Ciel freezes and looks at Alois, his mind going cloudy. "I'm sorry. I'm so-"

He's interrupted by a hard kiss and another finger pushing inside of him, thrusting into him quick and hard, making him forget everything again and starts riding the fingers, feeling them brush against his prostate, feeling himself get frantic with it, on the edge of cumming.

He clenches around the fingers and cums hard into his pants, a loud moan coming out of his mouth, his body shaking from the force of his orgasm.

He instantly gets onto his knees before he gathers his thoughts, shoving the pants and boxers off and pushes the boy's tip into his mouth and gives a hard suck, closing his eyes and pretends it's Sebastian, massaging the tip with his tongue hard before sinking down, moaning at the taste of pre-cum on his tongue, salty and sharp.

Alois grips onto his hair and tilts his head back, letting out little moans as Ciel bobs his head, slow and with lots of tongue. It's wet and tight in his mouth, making Alois' jaw drop as he just lets himself feel, breathing heavier as his orgasm approaches.

He cums down the boy's throat, hearing Ciel let out a whimper, feeling him swallow it all.

Suddenly Ciel is up and running into the room and slamming the door.

Alois feels like shit.

Day 4 sucks.