A/N: Reviews make my day. Y'all are wonderful people. Enjoy chapter 16!
To all of Shiz, the world was exactly the same in the weeks that followed the water incident. The green girl continued to keep to herself, and the rest of the world continued to mock her. Galinda was still escorted everywhere by a small crowd of admirers. She was even still friends with Pfannee and Milla and Shenshen—although she made them all swear to never try something so violent again. For all anyone knew, the incident might never have happened.
But there were two girls who felt a change.
Elphaba started paying more attention to the people around her. Every time she neared a place with water, she would look around nervously, checking the nearby faces for any trace of hostility. She spent even more time in the library, surrounding herself with piles of books and papers. Less and less snide remarks rolled off her tongue, but the responses in her head were steadily becoming more bitter and profane. The burns on her skin healed quickly, but she could still feel the humiliation searing her ego. To distract herself, she had taken to talking to Dr. Dillamond after class, writing papers for extra credit and discussing the deeper points of the Animal rights movement. Dr. Dillamond welcomed the bright girl's company, but he would always gaze sadly after her when she left.
Galinda, on the other hand, acted completely normal. The change for her was that now, everything felt…well, wrong. She enjoyed the company of her friends, yet she noticed more and more the cruelty that would come from Pfannee. She had to keep herself from cringing at Milla's constant pettiness, and she secretly marveled at how Shenshen always did what everyone else told her to. Worst of all, she knew that she had acted the same exact way. But she couldn't bring herself to change anything—not even in her own room, when the door was locked for the night and there was nothing but her and her roommate. Once or twice, she had asked how the green girl's burns were healing, but aside from that, they would barely speak a word to each other.
Elphaba quickly came to accept that the water wasn't actually Galinda's fault. In fact, the girls hadn't so much as looked at Elphaba viciously since that day. Something told her that Galinda was behind the sudden truce, but she always pushed that thought aside. The fact that her perky roommate still hung out with that group was enough to convince Elphaba that the girl would never change. But during the day she thought of none of this. It was all too easy to escape her thoughts and delve into her studies, especially when she was with Dr. Dillamond.
Until one day.
"Miss Elphaba," the old Goat said, turning to see the girl lingering behind the class yet again. "You know how I enjoy your company but really, don't you think you should be hanging out more with your friends?"
Elphaba just shrugged. "I have no friends."
Dr. Dillamond sighed and motioned for Elphaba to sit. "Now dear, you must listen to me. I understand that circumstances are against you. Truly, I do. It's been many years since another Animal taught at this school. Being the only one of your kind tends to make you an outcast, yes?"
Elphaba nodded, trying to keep her expression polite. She didn't want to talk about being an outcast. She didn't want to discuss how to make friends. Her classmates didn't want to accept her, and that was just fine; it was what she was used to.
"But what I don't understand, Elphaba, is why this is the one thing you've chosen to accept," the Goat went on. "You pour so much passion into every other aspect of your life—your studies, your beliefs, your opposition to negative opinions and stereotypes—yet you will just sit there and let your classmates treat you any way they please. Are you really so willing to accept the ridiculous notion that you don't belong?"
"I don't belong, Dr. Dillamond."
"Come now, child. Surely there is someone at Shiz who has treated you with kindness."
Elphaba scowled. "Common courtesy isn't the same as accepting someone." The Goat continued to look at her, his eyes gentle. She sighed. "But yes. Master Boq—he's been kind. And my roommate…she, uh, she's helped me a couple of times."
"People are strange, Elphaba," the Goat said gently, "Especially when it comes to emotions. Sometimes we struggle to express ourselves, and your age is the worst. Sometimes…well, sometimes it's hard to stand up for someone, especially when you'll be standing against everyone else."
"I don't need anyone to stand up for me," Elphaba said. But she was still thinking of Galinda, marveling at her courage as she stopped her friends. She hugged her elbows. "Honestly, Dr. Dillamond, you're the first person who has ever actually cared for me—besides Nanny. I'm used to standing alone. I don't need help, and I don't need friends."
"Some of us walk a lonelier path than others," Dr. Dillamond said, nodding his head. "And you, my dear, are on the loneliest path of all. Between your intelligence, your skin, and your admirable passion and will…well, I've never seen someone with such a complicated story. And I mean this all as a good thing. But no one—and I mean no one—can truly walk alone. Just as the body needs food and drink, the soul needs company."
"I don't have a soul," Elphaba whispered, digging her fingers into her skin.
"Then the heart," Dr. Dillamond suggested without missing a beat. "The heart needs company."
Elphaba stayed silent. She had never needed company. Sure, she had longed for a friend when she was younger. That was, after all, why she had first turned to books. But after years of rejection by every living being around her, she knew it was impossible. Dr. Dillamond watched her steadily through her silence.
"At least promise me this: the next time someone knocks, you'll at least try to let them in."
Again, Elphaba didn't say anything. Dr. Dillamond put a hoof on her shoulder. She gave a tiny nod, and then stood up to leave. Her teacher watched her go, tilting his head down toward her. He knew that the comfort Elphaba came to him for was books and educated discussions. But he also knew that the time for such comfort was running out, and he didn't want to leave the girl without telling her everything they had just discussed. Though it wasn't quite like him, he sent up a silent prayer that his dearest student wouldn't always walk her path alone.
Elphaba was late.
Galinda tried not to notice the feeling of emptiness that welcomed her into the room that evening. Her roommate spent most of her evenings in the library, returning only when the sun had set. The only exception to this was the days they had history, and Elphaba's time was spent with Dr. Dillamond after class. Today was one of those days.
So she's staying a little later than usual with the old Goat, Galinda thought to herself, What does it matter to you?
She tossed her bag down on her desk and flopped on her bed, smiling at the thought of an entire weekend with no homework. For the first time since arriving at Shiz, she had finished an assignment early—a history paper, no less. She was sure Dr. Dillamond couldn't care less, but she was still proud of herself as she turned it into his desk before leaving the room. Her grin widened as she thought of her friends all still working on the essay. The only other person to get it done was Elphaba, of course.
At the thought of her roommate, Galinda again glanced up at the clock on the wall. The history class had been dismissed over an hour ago. Maybe she's still at the café, Galinda thought. But Elphaba rarely ate at the café anymore, preferring instead to grab something to go and head either to the library or to her room.
So she was at the library. Unusual for a Friday, but the girl was unusual to begin with. Galinda slid off her bed and wandered to her dresser, pulling out a small bottle of nail polish. She settled back down and began painting her left index finger, humming quietly to herself.
She didn't look up again until a bell tolled from the middle of campus, signaling the hour. Galinda stood and went over to her window. Almost no one was to be seen walking around the campus. Elphaba should have been back by now. A feeling of unease settled in Galinda. Surely the green girl was fine. But what if…what if she wasn't? What if Pfannee had decided to try something again? Without really thinking about it, Galinda grabbed her jacket and key and hurried out of the room.
She stopped as she stepped outside of Crage Hall. The sky was unusually dark for this hour, and a faint metallic scent hung in the air. Galinda bit back a whimper as thunder rolled in the distance and almost ran back inside. But then she remembered Elphaba. What if she was stuck out there? What if she got caught in the rain? Taking a deep breath, Galinda hurried down the steps and headed for the library.
Elphaba hadn't stopped walking since she left the history classroom. The campus seemed abandoned, but she preferred it that way. She couldn't get Dr. Dillamond's words out of her head. Friends, emotions…what did any of it matter? She knew from experience that no one wanted her around—not even her own father. And why should they? She was a sarcastic, bitter, green freak. Who had ever actually cared for her?
Boq? He only wanted to get closer to Galinda.
Galinda? No way. She had her moments, but immediately afterward she would slip right back in to her regular self. Chances were she only stood up for Elphaba so she could be the good girl—Galinda the Good, the campus hero and all that.
Dr. Dillamond? Perhaps. Elphaba sighed. Her history teacher was intelligent, kind, and above all, accepting, but he was, well, her teacher. As much as she admired him, she knew they weren't friends.
As she walked through campus, her head down and both hands clenched around her shoulder bag, she barely noticed anything but her thoughts. She didn't realize that she had been wandering around for two hours, or that the sky was growing dangerously dark. She was entirely consumed in her silent ranting until something rumbled in the distance. Elphaba froze, staring up at the clouds brewing above her. The hair on the back of her neck stood up as she tasted the coming rain in the air. Her heart started thudding in her chest. How long did she have before it started pouring? Where was she, anyway?
She looked around. Great. She was on the far side of campus, nearly ten minutes from Crage Hall. She didn't know how late it was, but she was sure that most of the buildings had closed for the night. Pulling her hood up over head, she walked swiftly through campus, cutting through fields to try to get to the dorm faster. More thunder echoed in the distance, and she quickened her pace.
Hell and Oz, Elphaba, she snarled at herself. How could she be so unobservant to get caught in a thunder storm, of all things? She watched as a bolt of lightning lit up the sky. Her heart dropped as she heard the soft sigh behind her. Thinking quickly, she ducked under an overhang to one of the classrooms just as the sheets of rain began. She tried the door of the building, ignoring the trembling of her hands, but it was locked. She all but screamed in frustration as she turned back around to face the campus. The sidewalks were already soaked. Water—deadly, agonizing water—dripped off the overhang, barring her from the rest of the world. She squinted through the darkness, trying to make out where she was. A weight settled in her chest as she saw, just another block down, the front steps of Crage Hall.
Irony at its finest, she thought bitterly. What was she going to do? Spend the night on these steps? Oz, she could just imagine the reactions of her classmates when they found her in the morning. The wind picked up, and she yelped as a sheet of rain hit her side. No, she couldn't stay here. Gritting her teeth, she pulled the hood further over her head and buttoned her jacket all the way up. One block wouldn't be so bad, would it? She shoved her hands in her pockets and jumped off the steps, sprinting through the downpour toward the safety of her dorms.
All she could hear was the pattering of rain against her hood, but she didn't feel it. She actually laughed as she neared Crage Hall and leapt onto the first step in triumph. Breathing hard, she tore her jacket off before it could soak through. The thunder growled behind her, but she just cackled delightfully.
Still grinning, she entered the hall and went up to her room. She expected to find Galinda sitting on her bed, but it was empty. The bathroom was dark. No one was there.
Elphaba hung her jacket up in the bathroom and inspected herself. Nothing but a couple of drops on her hands and neck. She almost laughed again, but something held her back. Frowning slightly, she went back into the room. "Galinda?" she called quietly, knowing that her roommate wasn't here. Where could she be? The blonde girl was always either at class or with her friends, and her friends wouldn't be out this late, not when it was raining. Was she caught out in the storm, too? But why? And why should it matter—it wasn't like she was allergic to water.
Elphaba stood in the middle of the room, unsure of what to do. Why did she care, anyway?
Then she heard tired footsteps outside the room. Despite herself, her heart leapt as she saw the doorknob turn. Galinda shuffled into the room, exhausted and completely soaked. Elphaba heard her sniff a little, but then the blonde looked up.
"Elphie! You're okay!" Galinda looked like she was about to hug Elphaba, but then thought better of it. Elphaba took a step back, glad that her soaking wet roommate had restrained herself.
"Of course I'm okay. What—where were you? Why were you out in the rain?" Were those tears in Galinda's eyes? Elphaba swallowed. What had happened to her roommate?
"I was out looking for you!" Galinda protested, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
"Me? But...why?"
Galinda wrung her hands, suddenly avoiding her roommate's eyes. "Well, you hadn't come back yet, and then it was about to start raining and I, well, I was worried you would get stuck in the rain somewhere and…"
Elphaba stared. "I…"
Galinda shrugged, still looking away. She stepped past Elphaba and began pulling dry clothes out of her dresser. Elphaba's head was reeling. Had Galinda really gone looking for her? What did it matter to her if she got caught in the rain? She shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts, and went to her own dresser in search of a nightgown.
The next half hour was spent in silence as both girls readied for bed. Galinda sat in the bathroom, fighting with her wet hair. The storm continued outside, seeming to only grow fiercer with every minute. Thunder shook the entire building, causing Galinda to jump. She swallowed her fright and continued with her hair, glad that Elphaba was in the other room. When she came back out, her roommate was already settled in bed, a book on her lap. But, Galinda noticed, her eyes weren't moving across the page.
Another clap of thunder took the small blonde by surprise, causing her to squeal. Elphaba looked up, one eyebrow raised. "Sorry," Galinda mumbled, "I just…it took me by surprise."
The green girl focused back on her book, shifting uncomfortably. She watched out of the corner of her eye as Galinda pulled back her obnoxiously pink blankets. "Galinda? Were you really out looking for me?"
Galinda crawled into her bed. "Well, yeah. You aren't usually out that late. I mean, where were you?"
Elphaba avoided her eyes. The last thing she wanted to do was discuss the reason why she was caught in the storm. "I was talking to Dr. Dillamond. You know, after class, like I always do."
"For two hours?" Galinda's eyes narrowed slightly.
"I took a walk afterwards." Elphaba swallowed. "I guess I just lost track of time."
"And you didn't see the storm coming?" Galinda's voice wavered and she looked nervously out the window at another flash of lightning.
"I was…preoccupied." Elphaba took in her roommate's tense posture. Her pale fingers were wrapped tightly around her blanket, and she kept glancing at the dark sky outside. Why was she so uneasy? She couldn't still be worried. Now that she was safely indoors, not even the green girl was nervous. Thunder boomed outside, rattling the window. Galinda yelped, and something clicked in Elphaba's mind. "Wait…you're not afraid of storms, are you?"
"No," Galinda said shortly, glaring at a spot on her bed. "That's ridiculous. Only a child is afraid of storms."
A few weeks ago, Elphaba would have laughed and tormented her endlessly about this. Oz, she might have done that just a few hours ago. But now, for once, she had no desire to tease her roommate. In fact, as more lightning lit up the room, all she could feel was sympathy and a strange longing to…comfort Galinda.
"It's not childish," she said. "People just have strange fears sometimes. I mean, look at me. I'm afraid of water."
"You're not afraid of water," Galinda grumbled, "You're allergic to it."
"Most fears come from a painful experience," Elphaba countered.
"Of course you'd have a smart answer for everything," Galinda said, a hint of bitterness in her voice. She didn't want to talk about her stupid fear of storms. She didn't want to talk about the reason why the thunder made her tremble so. But she wasn't mad at Elphaba. If anything, she was relieved that her roommate wasn't making fun of her.
Elphaba put her book down and blew out the lantern, plunging the room into darkness. She could vaguely see her Galinda's outline, still half sitting up in bed. Elphaba hesitated, remembering her conversation with Dr. Dillamond. She sighed quietly. She owed the blonde anyway. Once again she had shown an unlikely amount of courage, braving one of her fears to come looking for her.
"I-I can stay up with you," Elphaba said, sitting up. "If…if talking will distract you?"
Galinda turned to look at her roommate in the darkness. Back at home, her Ama would always sit up with her during storms, telling stories and singing to her until she had calmed down enough to fall asleep. No one, not even her friends, had shown her kindness like that since she came to Shiz. "Y-you don't have to," she mumbled quietly. "I'm fine." Another crash of thunder, however, proved otherwise.
Trying not to grin at the irony, Elphaba relit the lantern and sat cross-legged, facing her blonde roommate. Galinda gave her a small, grateful smile. They were quiet for a moment, both of them realizing that they didn't have anything to talk about. Galinda twisted her hands in the hem of her blanket. "So, uh, what were you and Dr. Dillamond talking about that had you so…preoccupied?" She immediately regretted the question. She could practically see Elphaba retreating back into herself. Her shoulders hunched a little and she looked down at her folded hands.
"Just…the usual. History. Animal rights." Elphaba was obviously lying, and both girls knew it. Still, Galinda latched on, grateful just for being answered.
"Is it your favorite subject? History, I mean."
Now, it appeared, Galinda had asked the right question. Elphaba's eyes lit up the tiniest bit and a smile colored her voice. "Yeah. You can learn so much from the past. Nearly every problem we have today—politics, wars, the stripping of rights, plagues, famine—they've all happened before. Everything repeats itself. The entire world works in these patterns—patterns that historians can find and use to come up with solutions and—" She sucked in a breath and stopped short.
Both girls sat in silence for a moment. That was the most either of them had said to the other at once. Elphaba felt the blood creeping up to her neck and was, for once, grateful for her green skin that helped hide the blush. Galinda, however, was mesmerized. She had never seen someone light up like that before. It was as if an entirely new Elphaba had appeared, getting rid of the closed-off girl that was usually there.
"Wh-what about you?" Elphaba asked, her rough voice returning to its usual tone. "What's your favorite class?"
For once, Galinda was disappointed to have the conversation turn back to her. "Oh. I, uh, I like sorcery, you know. Magic amazes me. But…well, I'm not very good at it. And it's taught by…"
"Morrible," Elphaba finished for her, nodding in sympathy. "Don't feel bad. I doubt anyone could excel under her."
"You could," Galinda whispered. She tensed as the words spilled out and hung in the air between them. What in Oz had caused her to say that?
Elphaba swallowed, astounded by the…was that an actual compliment? "Well. You know I have no interest in sorcery," she said briskly. "Especially not when it's being taught by our dear old Madame Head."
Galinda exhaled. "She is quite Morrible." She giggled and even Elphaba smirked a little. Galinda realized suddenly that she hadn't jumped in quite some time. She made the mistake of looking out the window just as another bolt of lightning split the horizon.
"Is there a reason?" Elphaba asked quietly. As soon as she said it, she regretted it. She didn't know Galinda. They weren't friends. Why should her roommate confide in her?
Galinda hesitated. She stared out the window, seeing an entirely different storm, from a long ago, entirely different night. "Well…yes."
"I-I understand," Elphaba said quickly. "You don't have to tell me."
"You're the only person who knows," Galinda whispered, looking down. Elphaba was taken aback.
"You mean…you've never told your friends? Pfannee? Milla and Shenshen?"
Galinda shook her head. "No one. Just my Ama."
"You mean your parents don't even know?"
"They think I grew out of it."
Elphaba stared at her roommate. "Why…why wouldn't you tell anyone else?"
"Because they'd make fun of me," she shrugged.
"Your parents?"
"No," Galinda said quickly. "No, my parents don't know just because they're never around." This time she inhaled sharply, realizing that she had said too much. Elphaba raised her eyebrows.
"I thought your family…"
"Oh, my family is great," Galinda said. "It's just…my parents have so much to do all the time, and the house is so big…"
"But…" Elphaba gathered her courage. "But, they love you."
"Of course," Galinda said, as if it were obvious. "We just don't get to spend a lot of time together. That's why I have my Ama, though."
Elphaba relaxed, only then realizing how tense she had been. She didn't want anyone else to have a parent like her father. No one deserved that—especially no one with a natural skin color.
"What about your parents?" Galinda asked, eager to change the subject.
Elphaba bit her lip to keep from telling her roommate to mind her own business. "My mom died when I was little. It's just my father and I…and my sister, Nessarose."
"You never had a woman to take care of you?" Galinda asked incredulously.
"Well, for a while I had Nanny. But my father got rid of her after my fourteenth birthday. He said we didn't need her now that I was old enough to take care of myself and Nessa." Elphaba hesitated, then added, "But I don't think that was the reason."
"What do you mean?"
Elphaba was silent for a long time. "I just…I liked Nanny. A lot. And Father always had a way of getting rid of the things I liked."
A weight settled in Galinda's chest. She remembered the joke she had made at the beginning of the year, back when she had first met Elphaba. She remembered raising her voice, loud enough for the green girl to hear, as she talked about how ashamed her parents must be of having a child so hideous. Guilt churned her stomach as she realized that her comment might actually have been true.
"Is that why you asked if my parents loved me?"
Elphaba just shrugged. "The storm's passed," she said eventually, staring out the window. Galinda followed her gaze. The stars were shining in the now clear sky.
"So it has." When she looked back, Elphaba was blowing out the lantern once more. Feeling even worse than before, Galinda settled into her pillows, facing her roommate. "Fresh dreams, Miss Elphaba," she said softly.
"Good night, Miss Galinda." Elphaba turned to face the wall, bringing her dark sheets up to her shoulder.
Galinda continued to watch her, imagining all the words she would say to her, if only she had a little more courage.
