A/N: Happy Thursday! Enjoy!
Like before, Galinda knew that nothing had changed when she woke up the next morning. And yet, somehow, she felt that everything had changed.
The two girls said nothing as they got ready for the day. It was Saturday, which meant a day of flirting and laughter for Galinda, and hours of peaceful reading for Elphaba. This was their routine. There had never been a desire to change it. So why did this particular morning feel different?
A light knocking at the door broke through the ever-growing silence in the room. Galinda jumped, a little startled, and shuffled to the door.
"Galinda!" came the squeals from the hallway.
"Are you ready?" Shenshen asked. "Avaric's planning a picnic near the lake."
"It'll be so much fun!" Milla exclaimed, nearly jumping up and down in her excitement.
Elphaba had always counted herself as a morning person, but that didn't stop her from thinking there was something unnatural about someone who could be that enthusiastic so early in the day.
"And I hear that a certain Winkie prince will be there," Pfannee said, winking. Galinda's cheeks reddened, but she hurriedly grabbed her purse and skipped out the door after her friends. As they started down the hallway, Pfannee said in a loud whisper, "You can thank us for saving you from the artichoke later."
Galinda looked over her shoulder into her room, fully intending to mouth an apology, but Elphaba was already at the door, slamming it shut. Galinda winced at the sound.
"Oops," said Milla. "I think she heard you."
"Oh no." Pfannee rolled her eyes. "I didn't realize the vegetable had feelings."
"Of course she has feelings," Galinda said, crossing her arms. "She's green, not heartless."
Pfannee ignored her and kept walking. Shenshen glanced between the two of them, twisting her fingers together nervously.
Good riddance, Elphaba thought as the girls' footsteps died away. She smiled to herself as a feeling of emptiness settled into the room. Saturdays had been her favorite day ever since she arrived at Shiz. The rest of the campus spent the day socializing, leaving Elphaba free to her own thoughts. So, like every other weekend, she grabbed her latest book and settled back into her bed, letting the feeling of solitary peace wash over her.
But it never did.
Elphaba couldn't focus on the page. She was forced to reread every paragraph. It wasn't that the book was boring—it had captivated her from the moment she picked it up yesterday morning. She just couldn't pay attention. There were no sounds coming from the rest of Crage Hall. Even outside her window, the campus was quiet. So what was bothering her?
She stood up, shaking her head. If she couldn't focus here, she would just go to the library. She slipped on her boots, grabbed her bag, and headed across campus.
It was a cool yet bright day—autumn had settled in around campus, but it wouldn't be long before it was gone. Most of the students at Shiz were putting their time to good use before winter and final exams started to set in. Elphaba guessed that a lot of them had gone to town, or maybe they were picnicking around the lake, like Galinda and her friends. She shook the thought out of her head, relieved to see the library's front doors come into view.
The dark wooden shelves immediately calmed her down. No one else was here. Elphaba found the large padded chair in her usual corner and curled up in it, losing herself in the smell of paper and leather. She opened her book and dove into the story.
Her mental vacation didn't last long, though. After only a few pages, she found herself unable to focus once more. With a small, frustrated groan, she stood and stretched, tucking the book back into her bag. Her stomach grumbled, and she decided that maybe a small breakfast from the café wouldn't be such a bad idea.
Thankfully, most of the breakfast crowd had disappeared. Elphaba grabbed a cup of fruit from the counter and headed back outside. Not even she was immune to the luxury of the sun beaming warmly down on the campus.
Her feet carried her aimlessly through the campus. She strolled around her favorite buildings, admiring the ivy growing up the old, faded brick. Before she knew it, she was staring out at the lake. A light breeze excited the water, sending ripples through the chilly blue. Dozens of teenagers were camped out at the far end, near the docks. Elphaba could see large blankets laid out across grass, baskets of cold drinks, pale legs dangling over the sides of the pier.
What it must be like, hanging out with your friends, not having a single care in the world. How did it feel to have someone to laugh with—to have an entire group of people? Elphaba took an involuntary step forward, her eyes full of longing.
She froze, looking down at herself. She would sooner fit in with the grass than with any of the people here. Her stomach twisted, and she threw the last of her fruit away with a noise of disgust.
A high, bell-like laugh made her stop and look around. Sure enough, a little blonde head could be found on the lake shore, surrounded by half a dozen or so others. Galinda and her friends had settled away from the docks, a mere fifty feet from where Elphaba stood obscured by the trees.
She should turn around. She should head back to the library, to her room, to anywhere but here. But something held her in place. She gazed at her roommate's little party. It was stupid—pathetic, even—to ever think that Galinda could be her friend. She would always go back to Pfannee and the others. But what was so alluring about them? Why, Elphaba wondered, did Galinda love them so?
Curiosity drove her forward, carrying her quietly through the trees until she was forty feet away. She froze suddenly. What was she doing? There was nothing for her here. No friends. No acceptance. But then she was walking again. Thirty feet away. She leaned against a tree, holding it for support, silently begging it to lend her some of its steadiness. In a trance, she took a few more steps. Twenty feet.
But then she stopped.
Elphaba's breath caught in her throat as she peered through the sheet of branches in front of her.
Pfannee was leaning heavily on Avaric, batting thick eyelashes at him. Milla sat in a similar position beside another boy. He said something to her and she pouted, sticking her bottom lip out and puffing her cheeks slightly. Elphaba noted that Galinda pulled off the look much better. The boy seemed unimpressed. Shenshen sat with her knees to her chest, smiling bashfully at the boy beside her. They didn't touch, but the boy kept glancing at her chest. Elphaba made a small noise of disgust. A little ways off, the young Winkie prince lay in the grass, his arms crossed behind his head. Galinda lay next to him, staring up at the brilliant blue sky. His eyes never left her face, and she kept turning to look at him. Her eyes sparkled. Her cheeks were a soft, rosy pink. Elphaba had never seen her so happy.
The scene before her was so simple, so casual, yet she clung to every detail. The cream-colored blanket, the little white flowers that the girls had tied into their hair, the casual arrogance that the boys put on, the high-pitched giggles. None of it seemed overly spectacular, but she was mesmerized. It was almost like looking into one of her books, witnessing first-hand the kind of story she could never be a part of.
Her shoulders hunched. She felt, suddenly, as if her heart had vanished, leaving the rest of her chest to cave in around the dark void that had taken its place. Her gaze hit the ground, and she couldn't bring herself to look back up.
She blamed her roommate for this. The perky blonde had stopped loathing her—had even been nice to her—and now she had foolishly gotten her hopes up. Her walls had come down, just a little, and now she was left wishing for something that would never be hers.
But what had she expected? That Galinda would look up and see her and ask her to join them? Ridiculous. Really, what had she been thinking when she decided to go to Shiz in the first place? Did she expect some official club of green people to welcome her into their midst? No. She knew better than that. A breeze swept through the trees around her. She hugged her elbows, shivering slightly. Time to go home. You shouldn't have come here in the first place, she told herself.
She couldn't be sure if she meant the lake, or something greater.
Galinda walked down the hall toward her room in a trance. She could still smell the subtle hint of expensive oils that hung on Fiyero. She could still feel the calluses on his palm, his fingers sliding gently over her smoother skin. She could still see him on the steps of Crage Hall leaning in, pulling her face gently closer.
She had turned her head at the last minute, leaving him to kiss her on the cheek. She wasn't sure why she had felt so hesitant, but he just chuckled and bade her good night. Perhaps it was because Pfannee and Avaric were still out at the lake, doing Oz knows what under the night sky. Perhaps it was the fact that Milla and her boy took off hours ago, and hadn't been seen since. Or maybe it was the thought of Shenshen leaving early, alone, because the boy she had been talking to had shoved his hands up her shirt even after she told him to leave her alone. Whatever the reason, Galinda wasn't ready to jump into things with Fiyero.
But that didn't stop her mind from reliving every single second of the day.
Galinda walked into her room, unaware of the dreamy smile that was still on her face. "Good evening," she said happily. Elphaba looked up from her book. She was sitting in bed, the sheets pulled over her legs, exactly as she had been this morning. She raised an eyebrow at the look on Galinda's face.
Oz, what's with her? She almost opened her mouth to say something, but then thought better of it. You're not friends. She had to remember that.
Galinda flopped onto her bed, staring up at the ceiling. She lifted her head to look at her roommate. "Wait, have you been sitting there all day?"
"No."
"Well, what did you do?"
Elphaba looked back down at her book. "Oh, you know. Went to the library. Took a walk around…around campus."
Is she blushing? Galinda thought, propping herself up on one elbow. Indeed, Elphaba's cheeks had turned a deeper green. Galinda thought about how the color matched her favorite pine trees in winter. Then she shook her head, her own cheeks starting to burn. "Gosh, Elphie. You need to get out more."
Elphaba scowled into her book, choosing not to respond. Galinda blushed even more, realizing too late how stupid and insensitive her remark was. "I-I just meant—"
"Yeah. I know." The green girl's voice was low. She cleared her throat, trying hopelessly to dislodge the weight that had settled in her chest. "So, uh, how was your day?" Elphaba hoped she sounded less stupid than she thought.
Galinda didn't notice the awkwardness. She was immediately wrapped up in memories of the day. The sunlight dancing across the lake, the light breeze that whipped her hair around, giving Fiyero an excuse to play with it, Fiyero's sun-bronzed skin, the subtle hint of muscle in his arms, his eyes smiling down at her, his—
Elphaba snorted, turning back to her book. Galinda's eyes focused again. "It was…good." She swallowed at the lame response. "I mean, I had lots of fun."
Elphaba just nodded in response, never looking up from her reading. Galinda watched her for a moment, but it seemed as if that was the end of their talking for the night. The blonde wondered if they would ever again have a conversation like the night before. It was the first time she had talked with someone—actually, deeply talked with someone—in months. In fact, the only similar conversations she could recall were with her Ama. Galinda felt a little queasy all of a sudden. How meaningless had her life become, that such a simple thing was so rare? Had she really forgotten what it was like to actually get to know someone instead of just pretending to fit in? Was she really just some petty, spoiled rich girl?
Horrible thoughts came crashing down on her. No wonder Elphaba never liked her. Pfannee, Milla, Shenshen—all of the people she thought of as friends now—they were all the same. Self-centered. Shallow. Ignorant. But Elphaba was different. Sure, her family had money and power, but she saw through all the pretenses. She didn't judge someone based on their social standing or their looks. She had only ever cared about what was beneath other people's skin.
And she had only ever been judged by the color of her own.
Galinda jumped up from her bed and ran into the bathroom, nearly slamming the door behind her. Elphaba looked up, raising an eyebrow. She doubted she would ever understand her roommate. She had thought, at the beginning of the year, that Galinda was just like the others, but she was wrong. And it wasn't just last night or the whole incident with the water, Elphaba realized. It was much more than that. Subtle things that made her stand out, but only if you cared to look. Galinda tried harder in her classes, although she pretended not to. She did her best to be sweet to everyone. In fact, the only person she had ever openly opposed was Elphaba, and in all honesty, Elphaba had given her hell right back. She didn't look down her nose at the people around her, unlike many of her friends. She thought herself to be just like them, but she wasn't. Not really. Not quite.
Elphaba was dragged from her quiet musings when the bathroom door opened and Galinda appeared, dressed in her night clothes and looking downright miserable. The green girl glanced quickly away, not bold enough to ask what was wrong. Galinda didn't seem to notice. She just crawled into her bed and wrapped herself tightly in the blankets, facing away from her roommate.
Elphaba watched her, her brow furrowing. What had gotten into the usually bubbly girl? She had seemed to be in a better mood during the storm last night. What had happened today to bother the girl so? But then again, Galinda was just smiling to herself like a fool about the events of the day. So what was it? Did Elphaba do something to set her off?
But I've just been sitting here, she thought. Her fingers twisted around the hem of her sheet. The book lay forgotten in her lap as she stared at Galinda. Over and over again she opened her mouth, but she could never think of anything to say. You're not friends, she all but snarled mentally. Her jaw set, she picked up the book and propped it up in her lap with unnecessary force. But like this morning, she couldn't focus on a single word. She kept sneaking glances at Galinda. Tension was rolling off of the blonde's petite figure. Her shoulders stayed hunched and tight beneath the covers. With a vague feeling of helplessness, Elphaba leaned over and blew out the lantern. Maybe the darkness would help Galinda fall asleep in peace. Trying to be as silent as possible, Elphaba lay down on her side, still facing Galinda.
Fresh dreams, Galinda, she thought. Then she closed her eyes and forced herself to think about the book she was reading. She allowed her thoughts to get lost in the characters, mulling over their problems instead of dwelling on her own.
After a few hours, Galinda's breath deepened and evened out. As soon as her roommate was out, Elphaba's mind turned off and she, too, fell asleep.