.::I do not Own The Outsiders::.

5. I can't hold on it's all too much to take in.

Twobit barged inside with Johnny and Steve saying their 'good mornings' to Darry who gave Johnny a plate of eggs with bacon not even asking him if he wanted to eat. At home his mother barely cooked, only some days in the week other than that she ignored him leaving him to get his own food. Steve went to the bathroom taking a leak, Twobit turned on the television knowing that his favorite show Mickey Mouse was on.

Darry grumbled some words looking at his watch, Sodapop Patrick Curtis I swear-

Ponyboy appeared in the kitchen with a very pale face, he didn't even acknowledge his friends nearby. He slouched down in the chair with a blank stare holding tightly to the note in his hand. Johnny stopped chewing on his food sensing something wrong, he swallowed his food asking if he was ok. Pony gulped shaking his head.

Darry was alarmed by his state, Twobit even stopped watching the television looking at his young friend.

"What is it Pony?" Darry asked.

Ponyboy's mouth opened and closed not really knowing what to say or how to say what he had found out, with his shaking hand he handed the note to Darry for him to read. Steve groaned coming into the kitchen annoyed, "Tell Sodapop to hurry his ass up! We're gonna be late again!"

Darry covered his mouth with his hand widening his eyes, "Sodapop isn't here..."

Twobit had a confused look, "Where'd he go?"

Ponyboy stood up from his seat still with the blank face on, "He's gone..."

Johnny didn't understand, "What are you talking about?"

"He's gone! Sodapop's gone!" Ponyboy rushed out of there into his room slamming the door behind him. Steve stayed frozen on the spot realizing what Pony meant, Darry dropped the note on the floor following Ponyboy to see how he was. Johnny pressed his lips into a straight line, he saw the piece of paper on the floor so he picked it up. Twobit was reading it with him behind his shoulder. Steve read it next mumbling every word. His breath caught in his throat, Soda left? He fucking left?!

Twobit's shoulders slumped, "No way..."

Johnny placed his hand on his forehead, he glanced at Ponyboy's door shut close with low whispers heard from inside. What did you do Soda?

Inside Ponyboy was in his bed sitting down blinking away the tears forming in his eyes. Darry paced around the room his hands behind his back. A sick feeling began to rise in the pity of his stomach, he just couldn't believe his brother Sodapop was gone. Ponyboy exhaled loudly, Darry stopped to stare at him for a moment. Then he spoke.

"D-do you think this is real? Or just a sick joke?"

Pony glared at him, "Well he isn't here is he?"

Darry frowned, "Don't get wise on me Pony."

"Then why are you asking the obvious?"

Ignoring his smart-ass attitude he continued, "Look, he might just be...On a tough spot or something. He might have gone to Buck's. Let's just stay calm. He couldn't have gone. Not Sodapop..."

Young Curtis's eyes were on the floor, even though it hurt like hell he knew deep down that Sodapop was gone, he had runaway. He wasn't coming back. He wouldn't do something like this even as a joke unless he was serious. And this was something serious. Darry ran his hand through his hair sitting down next to his brother also knowing this but he denied it. He didn't think his brother was capable of doing something so wrong.

"Why would he leave?" Darry asked.

Ponyboy tried answering that himself and the only answer he came up with was, "Maybe he was tired of us. Of this life."

Darry coughed at his comment,"No Ponyboy. No. I don't he'd leave for that. I don't. He's better than that. I think...I think it was something else. But for now we have to look for him he might not have gone far. C'mon Pone, please don't believe that."

Inside he thought, Yeah well he ain't here, how can I not think that? Instead he answered, "Ok Dar. Ok."

When they got back outside in the living room only Johnny was there. Steve had gone out to work driving recklessly on the road. He even flipped off a man who had yelled at him for almost running him over. His boss had asked where Sodapop was to which he was told bitterly by Steve that he wouldn't be coming back any time soon. All day he tried concentrating in the garage, filling up cars yet his thoughts were on why Soda ran away. Or why he wasn't asked to leave with him. He'd do in a heart beat, he was his best buddy after all. This whole thing felt like betrayal. Just like Pony he felt abandoned, alone.

Two weeks passed by, in that time Darry had contacted his friend Tim to help for a look out. Maybe one of his guys had seen him somewhere close by. Twobit with Steve went searching in hotels out to Oklahoma city. Sadly no news of their friend. Johnny told Dally everything days after it happened repeating the message that was left. Dally glowered at his cigarette between his fingers, instead of feeling sad or down he felt angry. Mad. How could he fucking leave just like that?

Both went to the Curtis house to see how everything was going. Over the days Ponyboy had gotten depressed. He wouldn't eat, sleep, talk. Even changed rooms, too many hurtful memories in the room he had shared with Sodapop. Darry was miserable himself but he had to stay strong for his remaining brother even though inside his heart ache continued, like someone had sucked all life out of him. He got even more worried when Pony didn't eat almost all day. He slept most of the time. Johnny wanted to help by wanting to talk with him about all this. Being Ponyboy he shut himself completely.

Dally sat on the couch saying a hello to Darry who was in the kitchen looking at some bills. He realized Darry looked a little older with the tired face he had, the bags under his eyes and pale face. Johnny sat down next to him, the television was on with a lame comedy show on. They heard a door open, it was Ponyboy. He mumbled a hello walking into the kitchen for a glass of water. Darry looked up from the table.

"I saved you a sandwich Pone."

Pony shook his head, "Not hungry. Thanks anyway." He walked back inside closing the door behind him.

Darry smeared his hand to his face grunting some words. Dally's hands turned into fists, Stupid Sodapop. He had it all, a family that loves him, friends who'd do anything for him. A home. Hell, If I had brothers like him I'd be stupid to leave 'em. He remembered his past family, his mother who passed away from a terminal illness. His father wasn't really father material, he didn't care if she died or not, or if his kid was alone afterwards. All he cared about was his drugs, his alcohol, the real bad life. Dallas was heading there, fortunately for him the gang was there to make him realize it wasn't worth it. Sure he was tough, tougher than any of them but he had feelings. Even if he didn't want to admit it. The gang had softened him up. Especially Johnny, if nobody could take care of him he would take care of Johnny.

Darry grabbed the keys of his truck going outside saying, "I'll be back guys." With that he left.

Johnny got up walking to Pony's door, he knocked softly, "Hey Pone, you wanna go hang out today? I was thinking we could go to the Dairy. Dal's here too."

His friend was sitting in his room biting his bottom lip hard to not cry, it was unbearable knowing Sodapop hadn't returned. The small hope that was still inside of him had completely disappeared day by day these two weeks. Every morning, afternoon and night he was hoping Soda would walk through the front door with a regretful face hugging him tightly whispering, "I'm sorry." Yet he never did.

Johnny's words snapped him back to reality, wiping his eyes Pony responded.

"S-sure, just let me...take a quick shower, ok Johnny Cakes?"

Dallas was beside Johnny who was a little surprised, he expected him to turn him down but was glad that Pony was finally getting out of his personal hell hole, "Okay then, we'll wait." Both sat back down on the couch, Dally scratched his chin.

"This is all bullshit ya know that Johnny?"

Johnny nodded agreeing, "Yeah... I know."

Minutes later Ponyboy appeared freshly showered with clean clothes. A black t-shirt that was a little loose. He had lost some weight. Johnny gave him a small smile nodding him to get going. Dally put an arm around him wanting to cheer him up. Pony sighed. All he wanted was to feel better. The pain to fade away at least a little. Get his thoughts away from his missing brother.

Every night all he could imagine Sodapop somewhere walking away never looking back behind him. Love you too Soda. Love you too

oOoOoOo

(Sorry for any grammar mistakes)

Thank you again for all the amazing reviews!