A/N: So close, and yet so far. That's all I have to say.

Galinda woke the next morning, wanting nothing more than to get out of the room. Without moving, she glanced at the clock on the wall. It was early—far earlier than she usually woke up on the weekends. She had a few hours before the girls would come looking for her, but for some inexplicable reason, she didn't want to face them today. She didn't want to face anyone. Not her friends, not Fiyero, and especially not Elphaba.

She slid quietly out of her bed, praying that her green roommate was still asleep. But when she chanced a glance at Elphaba's bed, it was empty. A faint smile tugged at her lips. Of course it was. Elphaba was always up before her, and it didn't surprise Galinda at all that she could slip out of the room without waking her.

Shivering slightly, Galinda went to her dresser and pulled out a skirt and blouse. She glanced out the window, looking up at the pale sky, and added a scarf to the outfit. Despite yesterday's nice weather, it was high time they accepted the fact that summer was gone for the year. The blonde clutched her scarf happily. Something about the thought of snow trickling down onto the campus made her giddy. Unlike the rest of her friends, Galinda loved winter.

Unlike the rest of her friends. The thought tore at her heart, chasing away the last of her good feelings. She wasn't entirely sure anymore if she wanted to be like her friends. But what was she like otherwise? Who was she if not Galinda Upland, professional rich girl and darling of Shiz University?

Galinda felt like she was suffocating. She dressed quickly and grabbed her key, desperate to get out of the dorm. She needed to spend the day by herself, she decided. Somewhere where no one knew her—where no one knew Galinda Upland, professional fraud and darling of everyone who didn't actually know her.

She didn't even think about where she was going as she hurried through the front gates of campus and into the half-asleep streets that led to town.

Elphaba hummed quietly to herself as she wandered around the older sections of campus. The morning was deliciously cool and crisp. The campus was still asleep and would be for a while yet. It was times like these that she could forget about everything. She could admire Shiz up close, ignoring the fact that no one wanted her there. When she was alone, the campus welcomed her. This morning, Shiz University was hers and hers alone.

Elphaba had been taking these walks since she first arrived at campus. Every time was the same: wake up early, put on a comfortable outfit, and slip out of the room without so much as a stir from Galinda. Until recently, she would always laugh as she stepped outside, imagining the endless pranks she could pull while moving silently about their room—if only she were a bit crueler. But the thought of a morning alone with her Shiz was always more tempting.

This morning, however, she didn't think of ways to torment Galinda. All she could think of was what the blonde would be like when she woke up. Would she still be upset and tense, like last night? Or would she have forgotten all about it? Elphaba shook her head, still dumbfounded about the sudden mood change of her roommate. Would she be troubled when she woke up to find Elphaba gone?

Don't be stupid. Elphaba crossed her arms over her chest, a corner of her mouth turned down. She had thought too much about her roommate the last couple of weeks. Today was just for her. She took a deep breath and held it, counting slowly. When she exhaled, her mind had settled. She began walking again, not entirely sure of when she had stopped. The tune she was humming came back again and she continued it, smiling at the vague memory of Nanny teaching it to her on their old piano.

She stopped by the café around noon to grab a small sandwich, but then kept walking. Elphaba wouldn't be surprised if she knew the campus better than any other student—and possibly some of the staff, as well. She knew just where to go to avoid seeing anyone. So it startled her a bit when she heard a voice call out her name.

"Miss Elphaba?"

She turned and grinned as she saw Dr. Dillamond trotting down the steps of the history building.

"Good afternoon, Dr. Dillamond."

"And to you, Miss Elphaba. Are you going anywhere?"

"No, sir. Just enjoying my Sunday."

She saw a smile spread beneath her teacher's beard. "Would you mind if I joined you? This old Goat needs some exercise."

Elphaba laughed. "Not at all, sir."

The pair set off around campus. Dr. Dillamond followed Elphaba's lead as she stayed clear of the more crowded areas. As they walked, they discussed nothing but history and life science. Elphaba was grateful when the Goat didn't mention the promise she had made, and she gladly immersed herself in the conversation.

Beside her, Dr. Dillamond was soaking up every minute of the afternoon. He loved Shiz University with all of his Animal heart—from the students that seemed to get younger every year to the ivy-covered buildings that never stopped getting older. In his own, quiet way, he was saying goodbye. But not to Elphaba, of course. No. For her, he kept smiling and debating the finer points of his field of knowledge. The time would come, all too quickly, for them to say goodbye. But this peaceful Sunday afternoon wasn't it.

So Elphaba walked alongside her favorite teacher, knowing that it was just a simple afternoon, yet feeling sure that it would always be part of her fondest memories.

Galinda sat outside a small café, her hands wrapped tightly around a steaming mug of tea. She watched as the streets began to fill with life. An elderly couple came out to sit on their porch, their wrinkled hands intertwined. Two men were haggling over the price of a coat, and a small group of women were admiring a rack of jewelry. A trio of young Badgers ran out of a house down the street, their high-pitched squeals livening up the town as they chased each other around their front yard.

A couple weeks ago, Galinda would have wrinkled her nose and left the area. She had always shared the upper class's disdain for Animals, blindly following the idea that they were a disruptive stain on proper society. But now, as she watched the two older Badgers take turns giving rides to their younger sibling, she couldn't help but smile. Why, they were just like any group of siblings. Surely no harm could come from something so peaceful—so good.

She had always despised Dr. Dillamond, and not just because he had never once pronounced her name right. She considered him to be a clueless old Goat who had no reason to be at the school. But during the last week or so she had actually paid attention in class, and what she had learned astounded her. Not just the history itself, but also the fact that Dr. Dillamond knew so much. He could answer every question as if he had been there himself. Perhaps that was why she had put forth effort into her last paper. For the first time in her life, she had actually cared about what they were learning.

Galinda pushed her fingers to her temples, glad that no one could hear her thoughts. She could just see the look of disgusted horror on Pfannee's face if she ever discovered Galinda's fondness of some Badger children. Oz, what would Fiyero think of her? She imagined him backing away slowly, his eyes casting about for an escape from her sudden insanity. Galinda actually giggled a little at the image, surprising herself.

And Elphaba. How would the intelligent green woman respond? Galinda could picture it clearly. She would snort, rolling her eyes with a snarky I told you so. Then she would just turn and walk away. Somehow, Galinda felt that Elphaba's reaction would hurt most of all.

Galinda stood, leaving a few coins next to the mostly full mug on the table. She didn't really want to go anywhere, but she didn't want to stay here, either. She felt exhausted all of a sudden, even though she had done nothing all morning except think. Over thinking could kill you, she decided miserably.

So that's what she did all day, arguing with herself back and forth. What did she want? She didn't know. Or maybe she did—that was even worse. Part of her wanted nothing to change. She could keep being rich Galinda, popular Galinda, little darling Galinda. She could make fun of her teachers with her friends and go on picnics with Fiyero. She could smile sweetly at the world and dance through her life without a single care. That was what she knew. That was what she had been doing for years, and no one could see through the act.

No one, that is, but her Ama.

And Elphaba.

A small groan escaped her lips and she pressed her palms into her eyes. Elphaba knew there was something beneath her painted exterior. She had seen—if only briefly—a deeper part of Galinda. Her hatred of violence and her desire to do good, her fear of storms, the loneliness left by her parents when they were caught up in their duties as Lord and Lady. Elphaba had caught a glimpse of the person Galinda had shoved aside, and it hadn't changed her opinion of Galinda at all. If anything, the girls had gotten along better because of it.

It would be easy to go back to Shiz and act like nothing had happened. It would be safe to hang out with her friends, to kiss Fiyero, to make fun of Elphaba behind her back. But that wasn't what she wanted.

So what do you want? she asked herself again. The answer came almost immediately. Both. I want both.

She wanted to be the bubbly, care-free girl she always was. But at the same time, she was tired of the act. She had only just realized that she was putting on a façade and already she was exhausted by it. But what could she do? Her friends wouldn't accept this new Galinda. They wouldn't know what to do with her if she enjoyed her classes and supported Animals and whatever else she would do. New or old, neither side of Galinda wanted to lose her friends.

Maybe Elphie would be my friend. But Galinda immediately batted the thought away. She had been too cruel, too spiteful toward Elphaba. From day one, she had loathed her roommate simply because her skin was green. How insignificant. How pathetically shallow. No, Elphaba would never want to be friends with her. Acquaintances, sure. Amiable roommates, hopefully. But never actually friends. Not after all Galinda had done.

And she realized, suddenly, what she truly wanted. She wanted to take it all back. She wanted to start over at the beginning of the year, only this time without the popular act. Galinda thought longingly of what she would do if she could only go back. She would befriend Elphaba and stop everyone from being so mean to her. She would let people in, and make friends with those who actually knew her and liked her for who she was. Oz, she might even accept it when Dr. Dillamond said her name wrong all the time.

But that wasn't going to happen. She couldn't go back to the beginning of the year and start over. No, that would be too easy. If she was going to start over, she would have to do it now, on her own, right in front of the people who demanded and expected the popular act. Just the thought of it terrified her. It was impossible. She could never be that brave. Even if she could stand up to her peers, how could she open herself up to that many people? Sweet Lurline, how did Elphaba do it?

And so she went, back and forth, until the sun was starting to dip low on the horizon and she decided, almost subconsciously, that it was time to head back to campus.

Galinda walked into her room and was just about to greet Elphaba when she froze. Her green roommate was sprawled across the bed, eyes closed peacefully. Galinda stood in the doorway, mildly confused but thinking that the sight was slightly adorable. Elphaba's raven hair was strewn across her back, for once let out of her long braid. Her face was snuggled into her forearm, and her shoulders rose and fell with every deep breath. Galinda thought she had never seen her roommate so relaxed.

It was strange, though, for the green girl to be asleep so early. Galinda was under the impression that Elphaba didn't actually need sleep, but only rested a couple hours each night out of sheer boredom. Her theory was ridiculous, of course, but it amused her all the same.

She crept into the room, closing the door softly behind her. Elphaba's eyes shot open.

"Sorry!" Galinda said in a hushed voice. "I-I didn't mean to wake you, I—Oz, you're a light sleeper."

Elphaba smirked and sat up. "Don't worry about it. I don't even remember falling asleep."

"Have you ever slept during the day?" The question spilled out of Galinda's mouth.

The green girl rubbed her eyes and stifled a yawn. "Technically it's dark outside, so no. I was just tired from walking around all day."

"Where'd you go?" Had Elphaba been in town today, too?

"Just around campus."

"Oh." For some odd reason, Galinda's face fell a little. But then she shook her head and turned away, busying herself with her purse.

"So what did you do all day?" Elphaba asked, hoping her roommate couldn't hear the embarrassment in her voice. She hadn't expected to fall asleep, or to be caught by the blonde.

Galinda paused for a moment. "I just…went to town."

Elphaba raised an eyebrow. Her shopaholic roommate had gone to town and returned without a single bag? "Did…you guys have fun?"

The blonde tilted her head, blinking slowly. "What? Oh. Um, no. It was just me."

Now Elphaba's brow furrowed. Her shopaholic, blonde socialite of a roommate had spent an entire day in town, alone and not shopping. But instead of pressing Galinda for answers, she just shrugged and rolled out of bed. Something was off about the blonde tonight. She had an air of vulnerability around her, as if one wrong question would shatter her to pieces. So instead, Elphaba did what she did best—avoided social interaction with a book.

Galinda bit her lip as Elphaba grabbed a book and settled back into bed, feeling strangely, achingly, as if she'd been dismissed. She swallowed hard, shoving her racing thoughts down. Everything she had been wrestling with all day came swirling to the surface, threatening to burst through. Galinda took a deep breath and forced herself to walk to the bathroom at a reasonable pace.

She closed the door behind her and sank to the ground against it, wiping furiously at her stinging eyes. She could just hear Pfannee's high-pitched laughter. What, you're crying over the vegetable now? Galinda hugged her knees to her chest and buried her face in her arms, choking down sobs. She was sick of it. She couldn't put up with the cruelty and the pretenses anymore. But she just wasn't good enough to just leave it all behind.

Oz, and you think you're better than the others, a voice snarled in her head. It was true. She was no better than Pfannee or Milla or any of them. If anything, she was worse. She was well aware of how awful they acted, and yet she couldn't bring herself to change.

Elphaba glanced at the bathroom. There was no sound coming from behind the closed door, but something felt wrong. Slowly, she set her book down and crossed the room. She stopped outside the door, her hand half-raised to knock. Whatever she was going to say stuck in her throat. Her brow furrowed and she silently berated herself. "Miss…Galinda?"

There was no answer, although Elphaba could have sworn she heard a sniff. She swallowed hard. "Galinda…what..?"

The green girl closed her mouth, realizing suddenly that it was hopeless. She pressed a hand to her heart, feeling her chest tighten unexpectedly. She didn't know what was wrong. All she knew was that she couldn't stand the thought of Galinda hurt and alone on the other side of the door.

Exhaling heavily, she leaned against the door and slid to the ground. Her eyes closed as she pressed her head back against the wood. When she opened them again, she saw marks from where her nails had dug into her palms. She had succeeded all day in keeping her blonde roommate out of her head, but now it all came crashing back down on her, leaving her completely useless. Not for the first time, she hoped that Galinda's friendlier attitude toward her was just a phase. No one, especially not sweet, happy Galinda, deserved a friend as terrible as she was.

The roommates stayed that way until nearly dawn. Galinda rocked herself gently back and forth, wishing she could just stay hidden in the small bathroom until the Unnamed God took her soul. Elphaba sat outside the bathroom as if guarding it, desperately wanting but unable to say a word to her roommate. Neither one ever came close to sleep, but they weren't exactly conscious, either. They just stayed where they were, marveling at the vast, unbearable miseries that plagued their room that night.

The first promises of sunlight began to tint the dark sky, and with them came some sort of rational thought. Galinda uncurled herself and stood, praying that Elphaba had fallen asleep quickly last night. How was she supposed to explain why she spent all night curled up in the bathroom? She winced at the tightness in her legs and rubbed her face. She must look like such a mess. She stumbled over to the sink and reached for a few of her makeup jars, glaring at her reflection—red, puffy eyes, tangled hair…Oz, her lip was even still trembling. She let out a noise of frustration and spun away from the mirror, throwing her makeup across the room. The sound of shattering glass echoed as her creams and powders exploded against the wall.

Elphaba jumped up at the sound, her hand reaching for the doorknob. She tried to call her roommate's name, but her voice died out before she could make a sound. She stood frozen outside of the bathroom, listening intently. After a moment, she could make out the faint sound of footsteps. The green girl sighed and stumbled back to her bed, rubbing her eyes with a little more force than usual. A little bit of sun was starting to break into the morning. Elphaba looked out the window.

All night. All night she sat outside the bathroom, and yet she hadn't said a word to Galinda. Hell and Oz, the poor girl probably cried herself to sleep in there, and still Elphaba couldn't gather the courage to comfort her.

Growling under her breath, she went to her wardrobe and yanked out some clothes. She dressed without paying any attention and shoved on some boots. It was hours before her first class, but she couldn't bear the idea of facing her roommate right now. Fingers moving deftly, she combed through her hair and braided it. She had thrown on her bag and was almost out of the room when she stopped, turning back toward the locked door of the bathroom.

"I'm sorry, Galinda," she breathed.

Then she left.