.::I do not own The Outsiders::.

9. I saw your ghost tonight and God it hurt like hell.

In the beginning of October the whole school was excited about the Halloween dance coming up on the thirty-first. Johnny was handed the flyer in the morning, he showed it to Pony in the afternoon at his house. He smiled when Johnny asked if he was going to go. Pony shrugged, he wasn't ever in the mood to hang out like before, sure he'd see a movie or two yet it wasn't like before that he'd go to the Dingo or the Dairy Queen.

Steve came by an hour later to check up on him since Darry asked him as a favor. He also received the flyer at school asking his girlfriend Evie to the dance.

"I say you go."

"Why?" Asked Pony.

"It would do you good. Finally meet some chicks. Actually have a good time instead of being here like an old man." Steve snickered.

Ponyboy raised an eyebrow, Steve never cared about Pony or at least never showed it. If this was his way, it surprised Ponyboy. Johnny nodded agreeing, "He's right you know."

"You want me to meet girls?"

Johnny rolled his eyes at his sarcasm, "I was talking about having a good time. I'm sure Darry will let you go."

Pony nodded not resisting to this, "Fine fine I'll go. But If I meet a broad I'll leave you hanging Johnny," he joked.

Steve snorted, "Please, the day you get a girlfriend is the day I'll stop smoking."

"Shut up..." Ponyboy grinned.

At night, Ponyboy served Darry dinner. It was just the two of them. Sitting down at the table both started chatting about their day, Pony on school and the dance, Darry on his work. He mentioned he might be promoted soon if he kept up the good work. His boss was fond of him since his father used to be like a brother to him ever since they were teenagers.

"Really? You're going to the dance?"

"Yup, Steve convinced me."

Darry almost choked on his drink, "Steve?"

He couldn't believe it, it's just that Steve didn't get along too well with his brother ever since they were little. There was always bickering on each side to which Soda came to the rescue. Now it seemed their friendly relationship was getting better. The day Pony told his things off to Steve his eyes opened to how mature Pony really was. After that both spoke their opinions on the whole Soda situation. That healed them up a bit. Darry didn't hold a grudge on Steve seeing him regret the fight so the three of them let it slide.

"And Johnny. He's going too. I guess Twobit will too. You don't mind, do you?"

"No, of course little buddy. I'm real glad." It was true, he was happy seeing his little brother would be attending the party. This meant that he wouldn't be gloomy like almost every day.

Finished with dinner Pony washed the dishes, Darry picked them up. Johnny arrived asking if he could crash the night on their couch. Oldest Curtis cracked a smile putting a hand on his shoulder, "You know you don't have to ask. It's your house too. Always remember that."

Ponyboy handed him a pillow and blanket for the night. Saying their goodnights he went to his bedroom laying down quietly. Staring up at the ceiling he thought of the months that passed by already. End of July...August...September...Now it's October. How many more months will he be gone? Will he ever come back? Is Sodapop ok? Where is he anyway? Does he miss me? Does he even care? He shook his head quickly wanting those thoughts to go away, his heart ache probably will never go away. Not wanting to be fall into despair again he turned on his lamp beside the dresser. On his small desk there were colored pencils and a sketchbook with many drawings. His hands began to draw whatever was on his mind.

Two hours later Pony finished his creation, it was a black horse running on a green pasture of grass with a bright cloudy sky, big mountains as the background. The horse was free from whatever he was running from. Ponyboy frowned, maybe he wasn't thinking of Sodapop but he projected it unconsciously on the drawing. With his shaking hand he wrote on the bottom: "Run free Sodapop. Run free."

Although he was angry in the inside Ponyboy hoped that Soda was ok. Tired from all this he turned off his lamp laying on his bed sleeping the moment his head touched the pillow. His nightmares hadn't disappeared completely yet that night he slept soundly dreaming of his brother's return.

The next day Darry was the first one up, he took a quick shower then put on his work close and went to the kitchen to fix up breakfast. Johnny was still asleep snoring quietly, Ponyboy was heard in his room making sounds meaning he'd show up soon. As Darry closed the fridge, the calendar fell. Picking it up his eyes widened at the date. Instead of hanging it up again he hid it in a drawer anxiously. Closing his eyes Darrel Jr. breathed in, breathed out. It's gonna be all right...You have to believe it...It will.

"Darry!"

"Wh-what?"

"The bacon! It's gonna burn!"

Darry turned around just in time to turn off the stove hearing the pan sizzle loudly. Ponyboy cocked his head to the side not understanding why his big brother was spacing out. Johnny rubbed his eyes sitting up on the couch yawning, "Morning..."

Ponyboy grinned sheepishly knowing his shout had woken up Johnny, "Morning Jonny Cakes."

Breakfast was fast, Darry left grumbling a goodbye leaving off to work. Pony stayed home. It was Saturday with lots of homework to do anyway. Johnny stayed at the Curtis house wanting his friend to help him with his math homework. With the radio on both Grease boys starting in on their homework so on Sunday they could have the whole day to laze off. Hours later Twobit appeared going straight to the fridge for a beer. He whistled a high tune seeing them finish up.

"Homework on a Saturday? Really?"

"Yup, we ain't no lazy bums unlike other people." Ponyboy laughed.

Twobit put his beer on the table narrowing his eyes at Pony with a mischievous grin, "Smart mouthing me ain't ya? Sorry to say this but that was one grave mistake." In a flash he had Ponyboy pinned down on the ground.

Johnny sat Indian style on the couch watching his friends wrestle. Ponyboy being the youngest wasn't too strong to get out of his grip, he gave Johnny a pleading look asking for help. The tanned boy smirked preparing himself, suddenly he grabbed Twobit from behind making him let go of Ponyboy.

"Hey! No fair!"

Ponyboy rubbed his neck, "Nothing is fair in the East part of town ya hood!"

Maybe half an hour passed of them horsing with each other. Boys will be boys. Twobit was the one to holler uncle when his strength had give out. The three of them lay gasping for air. Dally opened the door staring at them amused. Twobit stood up pointing at Johnny and Ponyboy.

"Those two...Uff...Do not play fair."

Dally plopped himself on the couch chewing on some gum, "What did you expect, they're greasers."

"They're?" Johnny choked at his comment.

"We're, they're...What's the difference?"

Ponyboy went to the bathroom feeling dirty, he was getting sticky from sweating a lot so he decided to take a shower. Out in the living room Twobit asked where Steve was not seeing him almost all day. He tried visiting him at the DX but he already had left. Dally glanced behind him making sure Ponyboy was still taking a shower then in a low voice he explained.

"Don't you know what day it is today?" he asked them.

"No." Johnny responded.

"Well today is-" He was interrupted by the bathroom door opening. Ponyboy walked to his room with only a towel on.

"I'll tell you later. C'mon ya bums it's getting late anyways."

Darry stepped inside the living room with his tool belt on looking awfully tired. He had picked up an extra shift unexpectedly. Obviously it was because of that certain day but he felt guilty leaving Ponyboy all by himself all day. He didn't tell Pony about it though, he knew he'd end up sad all over again so he kept his mouth shut for the sake of his brother. Dally muttered a goodbye with Johnny at his tail. Twobit shrugged also leaving. Ponyboy was in his room putting on his pajamas.

"Hey kiddo, how was your day?"

"It was okay. How 'bout you? Dinner's in the fridge."

"I'm not really hungry... Ponyboy..."

"Yeah?"

Darry hugged his brother tightly thanking God he still had him, he was his strength to keep going, "I love you."

Ponyboy slowly wrapped his arms around him smiling, "I love you too Dar."

"Goodnight little buddy."

"Night Darry."

Turning off the lights youngest Curtis fell right to sleep. In his mind he dreamt of Sodapop on the couch his back turned to him. Bursting with joy Ponyboy ran to him but just then he disappeared on thin air. He woke up in sweat screaming for his brother. His hands covered his mouth quickly thinking he had awoken Darry. A minute of silence passed letting him know he hadn't. He wiped his forehead that had drops of sweat sliding down.

Pony went to the kitchen for a glass of water and some aspirins. Opening the drawer he saw the calendar beneath some other stuff. He hung it on the fridge flipping it to the month of October. For some apparent reason he kept staring at it as if trying to find something meaningful. His eyes scanned it until suddenly he dropped the aspirins on the floor making small noises. Luckily no one was sleeping in the living room.

He saw black spots in front of him causing Pony to walk backwards. Feeling a chair behind him he sat down. How could he forget? How could he not know? How could he not remember? Those questions swirled in his mind.

October 8th. ... Sodapop's birthday.

Ponyboy placed his face on his hands letting out a small sob. The feeling of complete despair filled his chest. There was supposed to be a party, chocolate cake, he was supposed to jump on Sodapop yelling to the world he had turned seventeen. Still with his eyes closed he imagined his middle brother in bed sleeping soundly, himself creeping up to bed tickling him awake. Laughter filled the room then Darry would come inside and join. His voice echoed in his head that it sounded so real.

"Ponyboy..." Soda spoke very softly.

To this Ponyboy turned around in the darkness opening his eyes, he swore to God he saw Sodapop standing in the living room looking back at him with his usual care free smile. In a matter of seconds that image disappeared. Tears sprung to his eyes one by one falling down his cheek. Even though Soda was alive Pony saw the ghost of who he had left behind and it hurt him like hell. A sting to his heart crushing him.

How could he leave us? Me? D-did he not care? Didn't he know we loved him? That I needed him? W-why the hell did he leave?

Sobs escaped his trembling lips, sitting in complete darkness in the kitchen he thought with a lot of resentment in his heart:

I won't ever forgive you Soda. I won't.

oOoOoOo

(Sorry for any grammar mistakes)

Hopefully you all like the quick updates. I have a lot of spare time. Soon I won't which is why I'm taking the opportunity to do this.

Thank you for the reviews. (: