Post Red Dinner

Well…that was an episode! I get the impression there was lots of left over blood that never got used in WW1 that they needed to get rid of?! And poor Carson – I just wanted her to give him a big hug at the bottom of the stairs. This chapter's a bit bigger than the others (!). I think it would have been a long few days for everyone after that dinner so I felt like there was a lot to say. I'm afraid this will be the last update today... They're screening Gypsy on television (with the actual Mrs Jim Carter in!) It's too good to multi-task to! Thank you for all the lovely reviews again. :) x

Mrs Hughes sat at the table in the servant's hall nursing a cup of tea. It had long since lost its heat, but she barely noticed. The eerie silence that echoed around the rooms was a haunting contrast to the strange silence that had been there earlier when the room was full of the staff, anxiously awaiting news of Lord Grantham.

The housekeeper was now waiting again. Miss Baxter, Lady Mary and Lady Edith were on their way back from the hospital, Miss Baxter reporting that the Countess had only left His Lordship's bedside to change from her blood stained dress and wash her face. She would be remaining with her husband until the morning, when Mary had insisted she would take over.

Mrs Hughes could imagine Mr Carson standing like a sentry by the front door awaiting the return of his precious Mary, only he could do, he had sent Mr Molesley, Mr Barrow and Andy off to bed already.

Anna was upstairs waiting for her and Lady Edith with a hot bath and tea. Mrs Patmore was hovering in the kitchen should they want anything else. Elsie had insisted everyone else went to bed, she couldn't stand the tension of them around her anymore. Mr Bates had also hidden himself away polishing shoes while he waited for Anna, sensing that tonight wasn't the night to anger the fabled Scottish Dragon.

Elsie was lost in her thoughts, on a beach in Scarborough. She was remembering their honeymoon mere weeks ago. She was standing hand in hand with her husband, their bare feet buried in the sand, several inches of water splashing against their legs. They had been talking for hours and it seemed they had told each other everything and anything. They had shared childhood stories, memories of Downton, both shared and unconnected. They were slowly unravelling their lives to one another. Elsie couldn't remember the words she had been saying as they stood in the sea in that moment, but she could remember how it felt. The warmth, even now in the cold darkness of the servant's hall, radiated from her. The warmth she felt in her heart, knowing that he loved her, that he was as blissfully happy as she was. She remembered how he had turned his gaze from the sea and rested it on hers, how he'd turned his body slightly and taken her other hand. A wide beaming smile was spread across his sun-kissed face.

'I love you' he had said. Quite simply, without any fuss, but so lovingly that Elsie blushed profusely, a smile dancing across her face. 'I just thought you should know.' She laughed.

'Of course I know. Poor Mrs Patmore had tears in her eyes when she told me what you'd said.' He laughed too.

'Yes, well.' He paused. 'I should have told you sooner really, I wasn't really sure how to say it.'

'Just like that was rather lovely, Mr Carson.' He raised an eyebrow at the use of his formal title. She took her left hand from his and moved it to rest on his shoulder, using it to steady herself as she lifted onto her tip toes. Her lips now almost reaching his, she said, 'I don't remember quite when I fell in love with you, but I'm not really sure there was a time when I didn't love you, Charlie.' And she pressed her lips to his, not caring where they were or who saw them.

Life seemed very different now. She had been so blissfully happy standing on that beach, miles away from Downton. Her nervousness about the marriage Mr Carson had expected of her was blown away by the sea breeze. She had woken the day after the wedding, warm and happy, Charlies' naked body wrapped around her own, all worries gone.

Now she felt tense and full of nothing but worry. Worry for His Lordship, the tension between Mrs Patmore and Daisy over Mr Mason, worry for Anna and her bairn; but the worry causing her most distress was Charlie's. She was so angry with him for criticising her cooking in front of Mrs Patmore. She knew she was no cook, she knew what they'd eaten hadn't tasted particularly special and she had resolved to quietly speak to the cook. It was the way he'd spoken of her that had upset her most, boldly in the middle of the kitchen, a happy care-free grin on his face. Even now she was still angry. She had tried so hard to make him something he liked and she'd failed, and he gleefully told all and sundry about it. And when had he last cooked anyway? She'd have liked to see him do a better job.

She sighed, pushing the cold cup away as she heard movement on the stairs outside and Miss Baxter and Anna appeared. She gave the two women a half smile, trying to push down her anger again.

'All settled?' she asked. They both nodded.

'Lady Mary and Lady Edith are settled for the night.' Anna said. 'Lady Mary wants to go back to the hospital early so I'll be back down for seven.'

'I'll sort her in the morning.' Miss Baxter interrupted. 'You have a lay in and I'll take a nap after her ladyship comes back. I suspect she'll be in need of one too.'

'If you're sure?' Anna replied, casting her gaze to Mrs Hughes, who nodded, glad of the distraction.

'That sounds like wise plan. I suspect we'll be out of sync for a few days in any case. Both of you get yourselves off to bed. I'll be up a while longer if they need anything.' She bid them goodnight and stood, unsure whether she wanted to dispose of her tea and get another or sit down and think some more. Mrs Patmore appeared as she half stood by the table.

'Are you all right, love?' she said. Elsie put the cup down and stood properly.

'I think so.' She said, 'I don't really know how I feel.'

'No, I agree.' Mrs Patmore replied.

'Anna said they're all in for the night if you want to go up. Has Mr Carson come down yet?'

'I've not seen him, his pantry was empty when I walked past just now.'

'I'll go and find him then and we'll head home, or sleep here. I don't know what he'll want to do.' The cook smiled and left Elsie alone, too exhausted to protest or talk more.

Eventually, having washed her cup and saucer and slipped the blanket from her sitting room over her shoulders, Elsie made her weary way upstairs to locate her husband. From the edge of the main hall she could see him. His tall shadow framed in the doorway to the dining room. She hadn't really expected to find him anywhere else. His shoulders were hunched forward, his hand resting against the door frame as he stared into the room. Even from behind, cast in silhouette, Elsie could see how broken he still was. Her thoughts of her earlier anger disappeared, there would be a time and a place for that argument. For now, he needed her, badly cooked dinners and embarrassing scenes in the kitchen could wait.

Slowly and quietly she made her way across to him. His frame shifted slightly and she knew he'd heard her.

She stretched her left hand out as she reached him and laced her fingers with his. He sighed and turned his head slightly, a weak smiled ghosting across his lips. He turned back to the room, his gaze resting on the middle of the dining table where the cloth still lay, stained with blood. She swallowed heavily at the sight and her stomach lurched violently. She'd never seen so much blood. She couldn't think about it all now. The man shaking beside her needed her to be strong.

Elsie waited silently next to him, her thumb gently caressing his. Tears gently began to trickle down his cheeks as he leaned closer to her, his gaze not moving from the soiled cloth. Keeping her left hand held tight to his, she laced her right arm through his and pulled him closer, resting her head just below his shoulder.

Eventually he let out a deep sigh and pressed a gentle kiss to the top of her head and again his gaze went back to the same point.

'I watched his father die. He collapsed on the stairs just out there' he nodded his head back to the great hall, 'a heart attack. I thought…' His voice cracked and he swallowed, collecting his thoughts together. 'I thought I was seeing him go too.' He whispered. Elsie smiled weakly and nodded. 'I didn't…' he continued slowly. 'I never considered the possibility I wouldn't go first.' She winced slightly, she didn't want to consider his mortality right now. Instead she squeezed his hand and said:

'I know. But he's in good hands now, and Lady Mary said everything went well and Dr Clarkson was optimistic.' He nodded. 'Come on. Let's get you to bed. We can't do anymore tonight.' He remained still, his eyes still fixed on the table cloth. She stepped into the room slightly so she could stand in front of him. Her hand still laced with his, the other now gently resting on his chest. 'I'll sort that in the morning, love.' She whispered, gently lifting her heels to place a soft kiss on his lips. His other hand came to rest on the small of her back as he hugged her to him. As their lips broke apart he rested his head on her shoulder. As he looked back up his voice still shaking a little, he said:

'You're an angel, my Elsie'. She raised an eyebrow.

'My first name at work, and above stairs no less. My, my Mr Carson.' A gentle smile reached his lips as they left the room, still hand in hand. She didn't release her grip until they reached the green baize door. 'Would you like to stay here tonight?' she asked him gently. He nodded. She led him upwards to the attics, only stopping when they reached the door to his old room. No one had moved into it, the name holder on the door stood empty. She reached her fingers up to it. Before she smiled, and opened the door. There were sheets neatly piled on the end of the bed. She'd left both of their rooms cleaned and with fresh sheets, just in case they ever needed to stay the night. She stepped forward, ignoring the light switch, the moonlight cast enough light through the skylight, and began to make his bed. He shut the door behind him and crossed to the other side of the bed and mirrored her actions, gently tucking the sheets under the mattress and spreading quilt over the top. It was a simple, mundane task, but somehow it helped to ground him slightly. When they'd finished they stood facing each other.

'Stay here tonight.' He said, reaching to fold the sheets back. 'I know there's not much room but…' he trailed off as she reached for his hand again. 'I don't feel very steady.' He admitted. She smiled.

'I know, love.' She let go of his hand and turned. Perching on the edge of the bed, she bent to remove her shoes and stockings. He hung his jacket on the back of the chair in the corner, then fumbled with his shirt while he watched her dress down to her slip. She smiled at him hopelessly fiddling with his shirt. She lay her dress and corset across the chair where his jacket was, placed her keys on the nightstand then came to a halt in front of him. She helped his fingers undo the studs on his shirt and lay it on the chair. She noted he'd managed to remove one shoe, so she encouraged him to sit on the bed and knelt to remove the other and his socks, before helping him to stand again. When he'd stepped out of his trousers she motioned towards the bed and he sat again, slipping himself under the covers. She crossed to the other side and sat up next to him, slipping her shawl back round her shoulders. His moved his head to rest against her breast and she pulled the covers up round them. His fingers laced with hers again, her voice echoing in her head, offering him her hand when he needed to feel steady. She smiled. She couldn't be angry with him when he was so broken. She wrapped her other arm around his back and pulled him closer to her.

Her fingers gently caressed his back as they lay there in the moonlit room. They didn't need words, her soft touch was enough to convey everything they needed. Occasionally, he shook gently as he let more tears go and she whispered words of comfort. The night slowly passed and as the first murmurings of the dawn approached, he had drifted off into sleep. Elsie remained awake long enough to be sure he was asleep before she closed her eyes, still sat against the headboard, cradling his head to her.

Mrs Patmore found them the following morning, Elsie still sat, her head leant back against the wall, Mr Carson still cradled against her chest. She smiled, setting the tea tray she was holding down on the small table. She knelt before the fire and lit a match to the wood and paper which lay there, ready prepared by a maid days ago. Elsie stirred as Mrs Patmore stood. The cook crossed the room and tucked the shawl back round the housekeeper's shoulders. Elsie opened her eyes and smiled as the woman stood back. 'Thank you' she mouthed. The cook nodded.

'Lady Mary's gone back up to the hospital' she whispered. 'She's phoned to say His Lordship woke a little while ago, but was very groggy. Doctor Clarkson was pleased with that, but he'll likely sleep most of the next few days with any luck.' Elsie nodded.

'Thank you, are the others up?'

'Lady Edith and Mr Branson have both had breakfast, but went back to bed after they'd had word from the hospital. Her Ladyship's back and in bed too, so I sent Miss Baxter back up to bed. Mr Barrow is upstairs pacing about I'd imagine.'

'You're a marvel, Mrs Patmore. Thank you. And all before eight o'clock.' She said, noting the time. 'I suppose we better move.' The cook shook her head.

'Let him sleep if he can, I can't imagine it came easy, no sense in disturbing him. We'll manage fine for an hour or two.' Elsie nodded.

'Ask the maids to leave the dining room when they come in. It's not a pleasant sight and I'd rather be there with them. They can see to the drawing room and the library, I suspect they'll be wanting them more in the coming days.' Mrs Patmore nodded and left.

Elsie sighed, looking down at her husband's face, he stirred slightly as the door clicked. A gentle smile played on his lips and he burrowed his face into her breast slightly. She stroked his head gently. The worry returned to his face instantly as his eyes opened and the memory of the night before returned. She held him to her as his brain began to wake up. He shivered and she leant forward to kiss the top of his head.

'Tea?' she asked, gesturing to the tray beside her. He nodded, sitting as she leant over to pour.

'It doesn't seem real' he whispered, his voice still hazy with sleep.

'Mrs Patmore says Lady Mary has gone over already and Doctor Clarkson's pleased with his progress.' He nodded, taking the cup of tea she passed him.

'Thank you.' He took a sip as she reached for her own. 'And thank you for last night, Elsie. I know you weren't happy with me yesterday, but I was so grateful to have you beside me. I really needed you.'

'I know, Love.' She said, resting her free hand on his leg. 'I'll always be here when you need me, even if I am mad at you.'

'Are you going to tell me what was wrong?' he asked. She sighed.

'We'll sort it later. There are more important things to deal with this morning.' He nodded.

They allowed themselves the luxury of a few more minutes in bed to finish their tea, before they slowly rose for the day, slipping into their clothes from the previous night, Elsie resolving to take a trip to the cottage later that afternoon to change, Charlie retrieving a spare livery from downstairs.

Before long they were Butler and Housekeeper again, bustling about the house in a strange, mournful silence. By ten o'clock, Elsie was sure the dining room was spotless, the windows open. Andy, Mr Molesley and the hall boys had moved the table and taken the rug outside where the maids had cleaned it. Elsie had taken one look at the table cloth in the daylight and hastily concluded that disposing of it and purchasing a new one was perhaps the best decision. She'd scoured the hallway and out through the front door and cleared all traces that there had been any incident the previous night.

She closed the dining room door and turned to find Lady Edith descending the stairs, Marigold resting on her hip.

'Morning Milady, may I get you anything?' She asked, her voice coming out much softer than usual. They met in the middle of the hall and Edith gave her a weak smile. She bounced the child gently on her hip.

'A cup of tea would be very welcome' she replied, 'and possibly a biscuit or two, don't you think darling?' she asked the little girl. Marigold smiled, a teddy bear grasped in her tiny hand. Elsie nodded.

'I'll send some up then.' She reached up to Marigold and brushed a stray curl from her face. 'I know Mrs Patmore has some extra biscuits fresh out of the oven, just for you, petal.' She said directly to Marigold. She smiled again.

'Thank you' she whispered to the housekeeper.

'You're very welcome.' She replied, a loving smile gracing her face. 'Would you like them in the library?' She returned to Edith, whose gaze was on the dining room door. Elsie reached out and rested her hand on the young woman's arm. 'We're all here Milady, he's in the best place and Doctor Clarkson is doing everything he can. You'll feel better when you've seen him later.' Edith nodded.

'Thank you, Mrs Hughes. And the library will be fine. I think Mr Branson will be down shortly too.'

With her order relayed to Mrs Patmore, Elsie took a moment to check on her husband. She hadn't seen him for some time and she was expecting to find him asleep at his desk, given his restless night. She was however mistaken and unable to locate him downstairs, she took a second tea tray and headed towards the master bedroom. Her Ladyship hadn't rung, but Elsie wanted to be sure the poor woman was all right. Her gentle knock at the door was rewarded by a weak reply. Elsie entered and found Cora sat with her back resting against the headboard. She was clearly wearing His Lordship's pyjamas. Her face was pale and tearstained. Elsie gave her a gentle smile.

'I thought you might need some tea, Milady.' Cora nodded her thanks.

'It's been a while since you brought me a tray up.' She responded, her gaze on the window. Elsie set the tray down and poured her a cup.

'There were usually some giggling girls buried in the covers with you then.' Elsie replied kindly, passing her the cup. She accepted it with a weak smile.

'With icy cold feet, more often than not.' She took a sip. 'Thank you, Mrs Hughes. Are they all up?' Elsie nodded. 'They're in the library with the children. Mr Branson was going to take them out to see Mr Mason at the farm in a little while.' She said, relaying what the cook had said as she had made the tea. 'They haven't told them anything and he thought it would be a good idea to occupy them for a while.' Elsie paused, unsure whether she should stay or leave.

'I don't know what to do, Mrs Hughes. I feel so helpless.' Cora admitted after a few moments.

'Rest, Milady. You've had a terrible shock. Lady Edith is intending to go to the hospital later and Lady Mary will come back here. If you want to go with her you can or go when you're rested. He's in Doctor Clarkson's capable hands, he needs us all to be well rested for when he comes home. All he needs from you is a hand to hold and smile when he wakes, I imagine he will be content with that.' Cora nodded. She swallowed and looked back at the housekeeper.

'Tell me something else? How is Mr Carson this morning? I was surprised he wasn't at the door when I got back.' Elsie winced slightly, unsure whether her employer was cross the butler had not been there. She dismissed the thought the second it entered her head. She hadn't meant it like that, she wasn't like that.

'No, Milady. He was very shaken last night. We stayed here, but it was almost morning before he slept. He cares for His Lordship, and all of the family a great deal.' Cora nodded again.

'I know he does. I'm very grateful to him, both of you, for how much you care for us Mrs Hughes. I hope you know you both mean a great deal to us too.' Elsie nodded, her eyes glistening slightly. Cora placed her empty tea cup back on the tray and Elsie refilled it. An almost laugh escaped Cora's lips as she took the newly filled cup.

'Don't tell my mother.' She said.

'You're secret's safe.' Elsie lifted a small plate from the tray and passed it to her. 'Mrs Patmore sent these up.' Cora placed the biscuit filled plate in her lap and took one.

'I'd like to go back up to the hospital in a little while. I'll have a bath first though I think, my back didn't enjoy sitting up all night.'

'No, Milady, I can empathise with that.' She said, her hand had slipped to rest on her own stiff muscles on several occasions that morning already. 'I'll send someone up. It might be Anna though, we sent Miss Baxter back to bed after she'd seen to you and Lady Mary this morning.'

'Of course. Send my gratitude downstairs, for everyone taking on the extra work.'

'We're happy to Milady. We'll help in any way we can.'

After finding Anna, the lack of sleep was beginning to catch up on Elsie. Her back was protesting loudly about her choice of sleeping position the night before and her head was aching. She was also still worrying about Charlie he still didn't appear to be downstairs. When she arrived in the kitchen, Mrs Patmore was sat at the small table.

'Come and sit down, Mrs Hughes, you look asleep on your feet.' She nodded and did as she was told. More biscuits appeared in front of her and she laughed.

'You haven't got enough work to do this morning, have you?' she said taking one from the plate.

'I've done sandwiches and the like, I didn't imagine they'd eat much and we're all at sixes and sevens down here. Much easier.' Elsie nodded.

'And these are very good, just what we need to keep us going.' She finished her biscuit and the tea her friend had also poured for her. 'You're not missing a pile of these are you? I haven't seen Mr Carson all morning, I'm wondering if he's hiding somewhere with a plateful!'

'He's on the bench by the lake, Mrs Hughes.' Mr Bates explained as he came in. 'I spotted him as I walked down from the hospital just now.' She turned and smiled warmly at him.

'Thank you, Mr Bates.' She stood and touched his arm. 'How are you? Any more news?'

'Much of the same, Mrs Hughes. But Doctor Clarkson keeps reassuring everyone that that is a good thing.'

A parcel of Mrs Patmore's biscuits wrapped in a napkin resting in her coat pocket, Elsie ventured outside to find her husband. Mr Bates had been right. He was sat alone on the bench, staring out over the lake. He flinched slightly as her hands rested on his shoulders, before visibly relaxing. She placed a kiss on his head and sat down beside him. They sat in companionable silence for a while, his hands finding their way into hers.

He yawned loudly some time later, causing her to chuckle.

'Perhaps you should go in and have a nap?' she suggested. Before he could answer, his stomach gave a loud grumble. 'Or lunch?'

'Seems I can keep no secrets from you, my body always betrays me.' She smiled.

'How about we take a trip home? I'd like to freshen up and Mrs Patmore has some sandwiches all prepared. We can have a picnic and a nap and come back for afternoon tea later. We're going to be no good to anyone half asleep. The others are all up now and have everything in hand.'

Sometime later, having had a long nap, the Carsons' were sat beside one another in bed with two cups of tea and a plate of Mrs Patmore's sandwiches.

'We seem to do a lot of eating in bed.' He observed.

'Hmm. It's nice. No table in the way.' She noted, leaning back against him.

'We should be getting back.'

'Would you prefer to walk via the hospital? You could speak to Doctor Clarkson and see His Lordship for yourself. That might set your mind at ease.'

'I sometimes forget you know what I'm thinking even before I do.' He squeezed her hand. 'We're all right aren't we?'

'Yes, Charlie.' She replied, kissing him reassuringly.