Hello beautiful readers! I feel like my life always gets in the way of me posting here the story, so again sorry beautiful readers for the lack of updates but training for my new job and moving have been harder than what I had thought it would be. But here are a couple of chapters for those of you itching to figure out what is going on with our lovely couple. Here are a couple of chapters for those of you that, like me are heartbroken because of the end of Delena. But at least we have Damon and Elena in our fan fiction world and our own imaginations. Long Life Delena. And without further words, here are the new chapters of Mystic Executive Touch. All my love, OA.
Chapter 23: Shower Thoughts.
Disclaimer: I do NOT own any of the characters in this story. There owned by The CW, CBS Studios and the companies that work with the network. Any dialogue and or story likeness is coincidental and not intended to offend anyone.
As I was in the shower, the warm water running all over my body, I couldn't help myself about thinking. God what is wrong with me. Ok so I know I should be utterly destroyed by the betrayal that I had just gone through with Klaus but I'm not. I can say that I am disappointed in him because he was a backstabbing, deceitful pig but I am mostly disappointed in myself. How the hell can I be such a good lawyer as I am and not even see that the man that I was going to marry was a big liar and manipulative man.
Well being honest with myself, I think that I knew. Deep down I knew that it was true and I was just not wanting to see it. I knew that what Damon had told me a couple of months before my wedding was true and I only got on the defensive side because I was trying to convince myself that it was not true and that both Damon and I were wrong about him.
These past few days here at Maui have given me time to really think this through. I now know that not getting married was the best thing in my life because I have realized that I loved Klaus but I didn't love him enough. Oh wow, even I got confused by that. Ok so what I mean is that I did love him but I realized that I did not love him as husband material, more like a really good friend that I like having around. In reality I had fallen in love with the idea of happily ever after, of white dresses and my own family and love forevermore. And in the end I just wanted the fairy tale without realizing that to get it I needed the perfect Prince Charming. God I feel like such an evil person because I had confused feeling comfortable and at ease with Klaus and even happy and romantic around him with love and marriage.
I honestly feel bad because I actually don't feel awful of what happened. I actually feel grateful that it did. This experience has opened my eyes to love and myself. It made me notice that I do want to be married and I do want to have a family but I want to be really in love and be loved when and if I do so.
I also realized that even before Klaus came into my life, I already had an idea of what my perfect husband should be like. But it wasn't until I came to Maui that I really noticed what I really wanted.
After I went to live with my Dad and saw how much he loved me and cared for me, how his life revolved around mine, I knew that I wanted that for myself one day. I knew that I needed to conquer my fear of contact, and that is why I decided to give my dad the green light for hugs and kisses. And that was how I knew that I was able to be touched but by people who I trusted. And then Damon became my best friend and I also let him come near. I think that during some point in that period was when I fell in love with him.
Yes, it took me many years, an almost wedding and a business trip to Maui to really let myself accept the fact that I was in love with him. I realized that when I was young and I thought of the family I would create for myself in the future it was always with Damon. I have always thought that the characteristics that make a perfect husband for me are the ones that Damon has. But I think that I have denied myself these feelings for the one thing I hate in life with all my might; fear.
Fear was what made me stay with my mother when she was in crazy mode or while she beat me. Fear was what had made me get this awful trauma of being touched. Fear was what at the beginning had lead me to be isolated and friendless as a child. Fear of being alone forever was what lead me to almost get married to Klaus. Fear of losing Damon forever made me swallow how I feel about him. I love him so much that I would rather have him like my brother than not in my life at all. The worse part of this is that I can see that he does love me and I am important to him but as his little sister and nothing else. And taking a chance and telling him might do more harm to our relationship that what I can handle, because I think I can handle having everyone in my life hate me but not him.
I know, I know falling in love with a man with whom you have grown up with, that you kinda share parents with is weird but you know that the heart wants what it wants. I love him and there is nothing I can do to stop it unless I rip my heart out, and I don't think that is a really good idea. Besides there are two ideal things from the situation. The first is that there is no problem with the in-laws because they are practically the same for both of us. Secondly the fact that we grew up together gives the relationship an advantage. This lets us know the good and the bad of the other person so well that we would come in to the relationship with no surprises at all.
Oh God, look at me thinking that there is a possibility of a relationship between us. Never mind. At least I feel a hell of a lot better now that I have finally admitted my feelings about Damon to myself, and that is how it will continue on. The only other person that will know about this is my dad who is dead and in heaven, but no living person because I will not under any circumstances put my relationship with Damon on the line. And by connection I will not put in jeopardy my relationship with the Salvatores, apart from my dad and Mr. Alaric, they are the only people that have been with me through the good, the bad and the worse and do love me for me the way I love them.
With that I got out of the shower and got ready.
(Just in case you are curious... I did my makeup completely different than what I always do. I did a very dramatic and exotic feline smokey eye with some purples and eggplant colors with a hint of silver which, if I do say so myself, highlight my eyes and make me look very hot. I opted for some nude lipstick so that the focus would be on my eyes. I also added a little of a body lotion that I had that gives you just the perfect amount of shimmer and looks very elegant. Then I curled my hair, in soft curls and I made kind of intricate crown / messy bun with different braided sections of my hair. Finally I pulled on my favorite night dress. It is a little black dress that hugs my curves perfectly. It is off the shoulder with long sleeves and it goes down until mid thigh. But the back, that is the fun of the whole thing. While the front is very elegant and conservative the back is the opposite. It is an intricate arrangement of very fine strings that crisscross my back until a little above my buttox. In reality my back is almost bare but it gives the illusion of being half covered. Now you know why the updo! That I finished with my extra comfy heels. Oh, don't forget the big dangling silver earrings, a nice silver ring on my right hand, a spritz of perfume and we are done. No I'm not carrying a clutch cause all I need to take with me is my lipstick and my cell phone and I will drop that on Damon's pockets.)
Lets go have some fun!