A/N: Thanks for the reviews guys, I really appreciate them. They certainly encourage me to keep going with the story. I try to reply to all of the reviews I can through PM, so hopefully I got to everyone. So do let me know what you think of this one, it all helps!

I want to love you. The corners of your heart no-one's been to. I wanna know you. Run my fingers down the creases and unfold you.

-I Want To Love You, Lenachka

Give Me Cheese

The last few hours of Lorelai Gilmore's life had flown by in a rush of emotion and bad decision making. First, her mother had idiotically thought getting Rory's parents and grandparents in the same room was a good idea. Lorelai had felt like she was 16 years old again, standing in a room full of people who informed her of all the ways she had managed to not only ruin her own life, but Christopher's, and through extension, Rory's. Secondly, after she had tried to thank her father for defending her like he had, he had spun it around and had made her feel even worse. Upset and needing to feel something other than guilt and self-hatred, Lorelai had made her third, and biggest, mistake of the night. She had slept with Christopher.

Lorelai knew she had a certain flare when it came to causing her life to explode, but this was certainly on her list of top five screw-ups. She was pretty sure it was right near the top, it's only competition the time she thought it would be a good idea to get pregnant. While she had never regretted having Rory, she had regretted the things she had missed out on; college, a chance at a real career, travelling and exploring. This though, the Christopher thing, was just… She couldn't even think of the right word to describe it.

She didn't know what she was going to do about Christopher. He obviously wanted something from her. He wouldn't stop talking about his great life in California. Chris had told her about how he had a successful business and how he was trying to make up for lost time, whatever the hell he meant by that. It was clear that he was trying to make her see him differently somehow, but it wasn't entirely clear what he had been trying to achieve.

Lorelai sighed, looking up at her bedroom ceiling. Light streamed in through the windows. She guessed it was around six or seven in the morning, but it didn't really matter to her, because she hadn't slept a wink all night.

Coffee, she thought. That was she needed, the delicious brown liquid which kept her walking and talking. But she couldn't just go downstairs, because if she made coffee Christopher would wake up and she certainly was not ready to have that conversation with him yet. Was it too early to go to Luke's? No. He was always up early. Mmm, she thought, Luke's coffee… And then it dawned on her.

"Oh no!" Lorelai said, horror sweeping over her face. "Aah!"

What had she done? What in the world had she been thinking? Was she insane? Luke, oh God, Luke. She had stood him up, after he had kissed her in her kitchen and then she had slept with stupid Christopher again. She hadn't thought she would manage to screw up again so badly and so soon. But here she was, proving herself wrong yet again. She grabbed for a jacket and a pair of shoes, hurrying down the stairs and out the door, not caring who she woke up in the process. The only thing Lorelai knew was that she had to go to Luke's.

When she finally made it to the diner, it was locked and she couldn't see any sign of Luke. So she sat down on the front step and waited, head in her hands. Lorelai tried to process everything that had happened, but she couldn't. She didn't want to think about the kiss and she certainly didn't want to think about her trampy balcony moment.

Lorelai sat there for about half an hour before Luke finally made an appearance. As soon as she heard him approach, she quickly stood up, her face quickly going wide eyed and apologetic as she told him honestly, "I feel horrible."

Luke could barely look her in the eye, Lorelai noticed straight away. He couldn't manage much more than a simple, "Don't."

"I stood you up and I didn't even call."

"It's ok," Luke told her, unable to totally hide the disappointment in his eyes.

"I'm a rat," Lorelai told him, trying to lighten the mood, willing to do anything for him to stop looking at her like he was. "We had a date and I stood you up."

Luke sighed and told her, "It wasn't a date, it was just a paint."

"I'm a rat, I need cheese!"

He sighed again and told her, "Forget it." He started to turn from her, done with her apologies.

"Hey, hey," Lorelai said, reaching out and taking his arm, not wanting him to just walk away from her like that, "Let's reschedule." Lorelai watched his eyes glance down at her hand on his arm, and knew he was thinking about last night. She had gripped his arm to stop him from going last night, and had made him tell why he thought she had asked him over. And then he had kissed her.

"You know, I really didn't even want to do it in the first place," Luke told her finally, pulling his arm from her grip. He didn't want to know that she affected him like her did and he really didn't want her to know that her touching him like that stung even more.

"No, no come on," Lorelai said, eyes pleading with him to let her do this with him, "Don't change your mind. We could do it tonight or - or right now."

"Was it an emergency?" Luke asked her quietly, his dark blue eyes trained on hers.

"Yes. You would not believe what happened. I slipped and I busted my…" Lorelai tried to explain, breaking off when she saw the expression on his face. Luke's eyes told her that he knew she was lying to him. "It wasn't an emergency. It was just me being a rat," Lorelai ended up admitting, rather lamely.

"Something came up?" Luke asked her quietly, eyebrows raised, even though Lorelai knew that he knew or at least suspected that Christopher was the reason she hadn't kept her promise to help him paint the diner.

"Yeah."

"Something," Luke stated, before switching to, "Someone," his eyes accusing.

"Luke," Lorelai said gently, though his name came out as more of a sigh than anything else.

"Am I right?"

"I'm sorry," was all Lorelai could manage.

"Yeah, ok," Luke replied, just accepting her apology. "Well I'm late," He added, turning away from her and opening the door to the diner.

"Oh," Lorelai told him, watching him disappear.

Lorelai made her way back home slowly. She knew she couldn't talk to Luke right then, he wasn't in the mood for it. Neither was she, if she was honest. Lorelai had hurt him too much, just by implying that she and Christopher had slept together. She sighed. Luke had kissed her and then she had to just turn around and sleep with someone who was very much not Luke. While Luke was calm and collected, responsible and mature, Chris was anything but.

She trudged her way up the porch steps, feeling defeated. Lorelai let herself in the house and headed into the kitchen, thinking that now was the time to get some water, or maybe a pop-tart or two I there were any left in the almost always bare cupboards.

"Where were you?" Christopher asked when he saw her trudge in from out of the corner of his eye. He was making himself some coffee, leaning against the counter causally.

"Fruitlessly trying to rectify a ratty transgression," Lorelai told him honestly, without giving too much away. She didn't want to talk about her and Luke, not that she knew that there was even a Luke and her to talk about anymore.

"Oh," Christopher said like he understood what she was on about. After years of trying to understand the way Lorelai came up with some of her answers, he had just learnt to accept that he would never understand. "You want some coffee?" He asked.

"No," Lorelai replied with a small sigh.

"What?" Chris asked her, genuinely surprised.

"What?"

"Well I know you well enough to know that when you say no to coffee, especially in the morning, all is not right in Whoville," Christopher reminded her, moving to stand in front of her, concern in his eyes.

"Very astute," Lorelai answered him with a tight smile.

"So..." Christopher stated, "Last night."

Lorelai nodded, knowing she wasn't getting out of this conversation easily, "Last night was Chernobyl and the Hindenburg combined."

"Right, just checking."

"My father almost hit someone," Lorelai reminded him. "My father has probably only hit another man in college wearing boxing gloves and one of those Fred Mertz golden gloves pullover sweaters."

"Fred Mertz?" He questioned, brows raised again. She was certainly weird this morning.

"'I Love Lucy' - Fred Mertz," Lorelai explained.

"Landlord to Ricki, husband to Ethel, I know. It's just a weird reference."

"Hello, pajamas," Lorelai told him as if it was obvious, gesturing towards her outfit.

"Right. Continue."

"My father had a meltdown, first with your father..." Lorelai continued.

"He was asking for it," Chris interjected with a nod.

"...and then with me," Lorelai said, before waving her hands between the two of them with a completely done expression on her face, "And then you and me - oh boy."

"Don't say it like that," Christopher said, not particularly liking the way she had described their quick moment on the balcony.

"Stupid. Dumb."

"Much better."

Lorelai ignored his remark and kept going, walking around to the sink as she did, "And to top off the whole fabulous fiasco, I stood up a friend of mine, who was counting on me and, and he just stood there looking hurt with the paint and the chairs and it hurt me. And it's not your fault but in this parade of stupid and dumb, I am the one twirling the flaming baton."

"Lor?" Chris asked, hesitating a little but thinking that this was his chance to voice the real reason he had come to Stars Hollow, of all places.

"What?"

"I want to marry you."

Lorelai stared at him, dumbfounded. When she managed to speak, she was incredulous in doing so, "And the hits just keep on coming."

After Lorelai had managed to convince Christopher that his insane proposition was just not going to happen, he had started to pack up. He claimed he had to go back to work, but Lorelai knew that was not the only reason he was leaving. Chris had come back for her and she had turned him down. She didn't know what had happened to make him so insistent that they should get married- maybe he had broken up with someone, or maybe someone had him over the head with an anvil- but either way, he had come for her more than he had for Rory. It was just another reason he had unknowingly given her to say no to him. If he couldn't place Rory's needs above Lorelai's and his own, he wasn't ready for all the commitments that being a proper family entailed.

Now they were outside, Rory and herself, watching Chris pack a last couple of things into his saddle bags. He was ready to go. The only thing left to do was saying goodbye for what felt like the umpteenth time. Christopher never stayed.

"So call us when you get home," Rory told her Dad, with her doe eyes large and blue. Her dad visiting Stars Hollow had been new and abrupt. Her mom had told her not to read too much into it, but after overhearing her parents arguing in the kitchen that morning, she hadn't been able to help it.

"I will," Christopher told his daughter with a smile.

"And call more," She added, walking up to him.

"I will," He tells her, pulling her into a warm hug. "See ya," Chris adds, kissing her head briefly before whispering something into her ear.

Rory couldn't help the small smile that stretched over her lips as she turned saying to her mom, "Dad wants to know if you'll reconsider."

Lorelai beckoned Rory over so she could whisper her response to Rory in the same way Chris had done. She smiled at Chris as Rory turned around to give him the answer with a little grin.

"She says 'Nope. Offspring sucks and Metallica rules.'"

"Fair enough," Chris says, stepping forward a bit to kiss and hug Lorelai goodbye. The taste of her lips against his was bitter and sad. She had turned him away again, but he had always kind of known she would.

"Drive safe," Lorelai tells him before he pulls away. He nods, before getting on his motorbike and driving off. Lorelai and Rory watched him turn out of the drive together.

"He asked you to marry him, didn't he?" Rory asked quietly, glancing at her mother's expression.

Lorelai sighed. She should have known Rory had been listening that morning. It wasn't as if she had been quiet telling Chris exactly how crazy he was.

Luke hadn't been able to stop thinking about Lorelai and Christopher. He had been trying hard to not think about her wrapped up in his arms, letting him touch her and kiss her in all the ways Luke wished she would let him.

And when he wasn't thinking Lorelai with him, he was thinking about how he had kissed her. It hadn't looked as if she had hated the ordeal, but the act that she had gone and slept with some other guy certainly stung.

He was thinking about the way her lips had felt against his and her soft, peach smelling hair as he reached the diner.

"What the?" Luke asked, stepping into the diner and seeing Lorelai standing in the middle of it. She was covered in paint and a huge grin split across her face at seeing his surprise. He realized she must have been up insanely early that morning if she had managed to paint the entire diner all by herself.

"Taa-daa!" Lorelai said excitedly, spreading her arms like a magician's assistant. She let him take in all the work she had done. From the look on his face she knew she was relatively forgiven, which had been the motive behind the decision to just paint the diner by herself. Lorelai had wanted to make up her less that honourable screw up to him but hadn't known how to ask if they were okay.

After everything that had happened it had seemed a bit ridiculous to simply ask, "Are we okay?" So instead she had settled for showing him how sorry she was. While she wasn't quite sure how she felt about the kiss yet, no matter how good it had been, Lorelai hadn't wanted to lose their friendship. He was her best friend.

"How'd you get in here?" Luke just asked, turning around on the spot to look at the diner. She had done a pretty good job, not that he would ever say that to her. From the grin still on her face, he knew she was proud enough of her efforts as it was. Her ego didn't need another boost.

"You're bread guy let me in," Lorelai told him.

"I'm switching bread guys," Luke replied.

"What do you think?"

He sighed, "I think you shouldn't break and enter."

"So what do you think?" Lorelai repeated her question.

Luke knew Lorelai would never let him out of saying what he thought of the new paint job, so he gave in and told her, "Well I gotta admit, it looks alright."

"Oh, I knew you'd like it," Lorelai said casually, as if it was a given. Luke couldn't help but wonder whether or not her casual answer was because Lorelai knew that she could get him to do anything that she wanted him to with ease.

"Thanks," He answered her noncommittedly.

"Anytime. It's fun," Lorelai replied, just as gleeful as she had been when he had first walked in. Luke was almost certain that all the paint fumes had gotten to her head. It certainly explained why she was acting a little bit crazier than usual and to an extent, it explained why she loved painting so much.

"So, uh, where's the guy?" Luke asked casually, wondering what had happened. From what he knew of Rory's dad, he didn't stick around long and he had never made a trip to the Hollow before. Luke reached for one of the chairs on the nearest table, turning it over and putting it down.

Lorelai replied just as casually, "Oh he's gone." She followed his leading, putting the chairs down as she talked.

"Oh, too bad," He answered, though he couldn't help feel relieved that Lorelai's one night stand had been just that, a one night stand.

"We'll be fine. Luke?"

"Yeah?" Luke asked her, a little wary of the tone in her voice. It was the same one she used whenever she wanted something from him.

"Um, can I make one more suggestion?"

"No," Luke told her flatly.

"Curtains?" Lorelai asked, her voice hopeful.

"No."

"Manly curtains?" She asked, as if that would change his mind.

"Oxymoron."

"What did you call me?" Lorelai asked, feigning at being offended.

"No curtains," Luke told her firmly, though a small smile played at the corners of his lips. He had thought that after yesterday and their conversation that morning that their friendship would be strained at best. Now that it clearly wasn't, he couldn't help but be a little happy.

"Aw," Lorelai pouted, "Come on. You gotta give a little. How about a tablecloth?"

"No. We don't do tablecloths here," He told her, rolling his eyes as he stepped back around the counter. "Coffee?" Luke asked, wanting to get her off the subject. There had been enough change in the diner for one day.

"Do you know me at all?" Lorelai asked him with a smirk, sitting down at one of the bar stools. Luke started to make the coffee, his back to her as she asked, "Hey, Luke?"

Her tone made him pause. It was lot more serious than it had been a moment ago. It was very clear to him what Lorelai wanted to talk about, though he wasn't quite sure about whether it was the time or place to have the conversation.

"Yes?" He asked her with a sigh, glad he had the coffee machine as an excuse to keep his back to her for a bit longer.

"I want you to know that I didn't hate it, when, you know," Lorelai trailed off, leaving his mind to fill in the blanks himself.

She hadn't hated the kiss? Luke frowned a moment before asking her, wanting to hear her actually say the words, "Hate it when, what?"

Luke heard Lorelai sigh. "I didn't hate it when you kissed me," She admitted, voice neutral and not giving anything away.

"Yeah?" Luke inquired, turning around to look at her face. Her expression was just as nonchalant as her voice had been.

"Yeah."

"Okay."

"And…" Lorelai started, before considering what she was going to say again. Luke said nothing, just stared at her, waiting. "And I wouldn't be averse if you did it again sometime, but only when we were alone, of course. I can't give you anything more, not yet anyway. I'm not ready, and well, Rory has just had her hopes crushed again so she sure as hell isn't ready either. So we're friends, with the benefit of kissing. If you don't want to, I totally understand because it is a little weird but it really was a very good kiss…" She told him, rambling.

Lorelai only stopped speaking because he had interrupted her with a quick, "Alright."

"Alright," She repeated back, blinking a couple of times. Lorelai clearly hadn't quite expected him to respond as he had done.

"So, coffee?" Luke asked again, changing the subject. Coffee was always a safe topic when it came to Lorelai Gilmore.

"To go, please," Lorelai replied.

Luke nodded, filling a foam cup with freshly made coffee and handing it to her. She gave him a quick smile as she took it and headed out of the diner without another word.

He watched her back as she left, wondering why the hell he had agreed to her proposal. It was weird, that was for sure. Actually, it was insane. Luke could kiss Lorelai, and he assumed she could kiss him. But he couldn't be in a relationship with her.

What the hell had she meant, she wasn't averse to it? That was just a weird thing to say. Given, it had been Lorelai saying it, but this whole friends-with-the-benefit-of-kissing thing was taking it to a whole new level. Had he really been so desperate in pining for her that he was willing to accept any scraps she decided to throw his way?

Luke sighed and reached for a rag, wiping at the counter as he tried to get his thoughts in order. Being able to kiss Lorelai was a plus but he wasn't sure how long he would be able to keep up not wanting more.

"Like a dog with a bone…" He muttered to himself, "Or a rat with cheese."