Chapter 21: Tris – Unexpected Find
We awaken to a blast of cold air mixing with Tobias' voice. "Everyone up!" he calls in his crisp instructor tone, and we jump to alertness instantly.
"We need to find a working gas station," he continues, "and the fastest way is to fan out on foot in all directions." He looks around, making sure he has our attention. "There shouldn't be anyone else here, but we'll carry our guns and travel in groups just in case."
He evaluates us for a moment before saying, "Lauren, can you take a group?" When she nods, he adds, "Take Marcus with you; he knows how to check the gas pumps. Uriah, and Lisa, you're with her. You'll be heading that way," and he points clearly to his left.
"Peter, Robert, Caleb, and Pari, you're going with Amar, that way," and he points to the right. "Tris, Christina, Cara, and Margot, you're with me, heading that way." This time, he gestures behind us. "The people in the SUV will form a fourth group that checks the stations ahead of us. Each group should travel no more than fifteen minutes, checking every station you pass. Then, if you haven't found anything, go over a block and come back along that road. This whole area uses a grid system, so you can pick a block in either direction. Check every pump at every station – we can use anything that functions."
He glances around to see if there are any questions and then states, "All right. Get guns and ammo." His face stern, he adds, "But be careful before shooting! You're much more likely to run into one of us than someone else, and I will not be amused if you shoot each other."
"Spoil-sport," Christina mutters under her breath, and I bite my tongue trying not to laugh.
We step out into the first light of dawn. We're in what's left of an old parking lot at one corner of an intersection. Trees have worked their way through the broken pavement in numerous places, but the roads are still visible. I shiver in the cold air, feeling the sharp edge even through my coat. The land all around us is flat, and the buildings look somewhat foreign. It's like our city and yet not.
The SUV is parked at the other end of the lot, and the four people we don't know stand with their backs to us, speaking with Amar and Marcus. I remember what Margot said last night, and realize they're probably not supposed to look at us if they can avoid it. After all, the less they know, the less they can reveal. As I watch, they head away, and Amar and Marcus walk over to join us.
Amar eyeballs the groups that Tobias formed. "Nice try, Fo – Tobias," he says with a bit of a laugh, "but Tris is with me. Peter, switch groups with her."
"What?" I demand immediately. I'm not sure if I'm annoyed because he's trying to split me apart from Tobias or because he's acting like he needs to protect me, as if I'm a helpless little girl.
He looks straight at me. "The entire point of this mission is to get one of you to the end," he says as he gestures between me and Tobias. "So, any time we split into groups, you two go different ways. It maximizes our odds. And when possible, Uriah does too, since he's your backup." I glance at Uriah in surprise, but the expression on his face shows this isn't news to him.
My response is simple. "No." When Amar raises an eyebrow, I elucidate a bit. "Tobias and I are a team. You get both of us, or neither."
"Fine," he answers without pause. "Then, you wait here. Get back in the van."
My eyes narrow coldly, but Amar doesn't look away. I don't know what to make of his expression – there's no anger in it, but I'm not sure I've ever seen someone look so unyielding. After a long pause, Tobias says quietly to me, "Just go with him. This isn't the time for a fight." I turn to him, staring disbelievingly. We agreed to stay together, and at the first opportunity, he's dropping that? Of course he is, I realize. As long as I'm safe, he doesn't think it's a problem. It apparently doesn't matter whether I know he's safe or not.
I guess he sees the bitterness in my face, because he reminds me, "We didn't set any conditions up front, and this isn't the time to add them. We'll talk to him later." A thousand retorts come to mind, but the set of his face tells me they won't do any good, and my bitterness turns to cold anger. If he won't stand up for our deal, why should I?
I turn my back on him and walk to Amar's group. Tobias reaches for my arm as I pass, but I pull it out of reach and keep marching, refusing to meet his eyes or let him touch me.
Amar looks at me for another moment, but I just stare straight ahead, and finally he says, "All right, let's go."
We begin walking down the center of a wide road that used to contain multiple lanes. As with the parking lot, cracks and splits cover its surface like a spider web, with plants growing in them. We must not be in the middle of the city, because the blocks are large here, and the buildings are short and surrounded by vegetation. For some two hundred feet, we see nothing but trees on both sides of the road. Perhaps there was a park here that has since overgrown, but it's strange to me to see so many trees together with no sign of human habitation among them. It brings to mind forests I've read about but never seen.
Animals scurry nearby, startling us with each movement. I keep pointing my gun, only to realize I'm aiming at a squirrel or bird or some creature I've never seen before. Caleb is equally jumpy, though Robert appears calmer. I suppose he became accustomed to trees and animals during his time in Amity, or maybe he simply has a more relaxed personality than my brother and I do.
At first, I'm relieved when we get past the trees and into an old shopping center. But the emptiness has an eerie quality to it that makes me twitch. As with the forested area, we see movements and hear periodic noises as animals scurry around the buildings and parking lots that nature is reclaiming. We stop at a gas station that has a battered Shell sign still standing by a half-collapsed building. Amar tries all the pumps as the rest of us stand guard, each facing a different direction.
"No luck," he says after the last one. "Let's keep moving."
We continue past more shopping areas, and I find myself focused on a sign that says, "aff e H." When we get closer, I see a second sign and figure out the missing letters. "Waffle House." I have no idea what that is.
"There's another station up there," Robert says, gesturing to the other side of the road, some two hundred feet ahead. I can't make out the sign on it, but I see the unmistakable shape of pumps and realize he's right. Amar turns back to us, starting to respond, when the first shot rings out.
My pulse leaps into my throat, adrenaline making time slow down as I whirl, trying to find the shooter. Around me, I can sense more than see the others doing the same thing.
"There," Pari shouts, pointing at the gas station, and I see a large brown and green vehicle partially hidden behind the back set of pumps. "NUSA military!"
There's a flicker of movement, and Amar, Pari, and I all aim at it as we begin running for the nearest shelter – a narrow alleyway between two buildings, with trees growing in front of it. It's close to a hundred feet away.
Our shots sound along with those of our attackers, followed by the rapid pat-pat-pat of a machine gun. With my free hand, I grab Caleb's arm and haul him forward, hard, forcing him to run faster than he thinks he can. I shouldn't care about him right now, but I do. I don't entirely know why.
It seems to take forever to reach the alley, but finally we pile into it, huddling together at the entrance so we can look for a clear shot. But it's no good – from here, our attackers are completely blocked from view.
"Let's go on through," I shout, continuing along the alleyway, and the others follow me without question. When we reach the other end, I peer cautiously around the corner, but I can't see the gas station from here, either – just the back of the building that's shielding us and another set of trees at the far corner of it. I nod toward the trees and start in that direction, but Amar grabs my shoulder firmly and steps in front of me.
"Wait here until I signal you," he whispers, and he begins moving with silent precision along the back of the building, his gun held in front of him. When he reaches the trees, I can tell he sees our attackers, because he crouches down and begins firing in rapid succession. Someone screams in pain, and then shouts and gunfire fill the air.
Pari and I both race toward Amar, and a split second later, Caleb follows. Pari takes up a position behind a tree and begins shooting too, but as I start to join them, Amar yells fiercely, "Stay back!"
"Forget it!" I snarl, moving forward, only to feel Caleb's hand clamp on my arm.
"Beatrice," he says desperately, "you can't. We need you too much."
I yank my arm free as I whirl on him, ready to strike the way I did during practice, but at the last second, I stop myself and just glare at him instead. He stands there, looking frightened but determined, and suddenly I notice something I should have before. My eyes move beyond him to the alleyway we ran through as a cold weight drops into my stomach.
"Where's Robert?" I ask tensely, trying to remember if I've seen him since the first shot sounded.
Caleb twists around to look, and then turns back to me, his eyes filled with horror. "I don't know," he whispers.
My feet start moving before I realize what I'm doing, racing back the way we came. Caleb runs beside me. We stop where we entered the alleyway, scanning the route we followed, but a shot to my left distracts me. I peer carefully across the front of the building. A minute ago, we couldn't see anything from here, but now two attackers stand at the far front corner of the building. They're using it as a shield to shoot at Amar and Pari.
"I'll take the taller one," I whisper to Caleb, so quietly he couldn't hear me if he wasn't pressed to my side. "You take the other."
I can hear him swallow. He's never had to kill someone before, but it's us or them right now. Or more accurately, it's them or everyone back home.
I aim, feeling the ghost of Tobias' hands on my arms as I do so. "On three," I whisper, and he nods. "One, two, three." Our guns sound simultaneously, and both figures drop to the ground. They don't move afterwards.
"Do you think there are more?" Caleb asks shakily.
"Always assume so," I respond tersely as I check the visible area. There's no one upright, but my eyes land on a form crumpled at the side of the road. Robert. My heart jumps. Is he injured or dead?
I hear more shots, a little farther away now, and realize Amar and Pari must have moved to the clump of trees at the back of the gas station. They'll be firing from behind now, which means our attackers will be looking that direction. This is our chance…. There's another clump of trees between us and the gas station. If we skirt along the front of the building, it's only a short run to those, and they'll provide cover while we fire from the side. I start to move, but as he did earlier, Caleb pulls me back.
"They have this, Beatrice. Let them do it."
"You don't know that," I respond angrily. "And I won't just sit around while they die."
The next words jerk out of him unexpectedly. "You didn't say goodbye to Tobias. If anything happens to you, he'll never forgive himself." I freeze, staring at him. His eyes burn with an intensity I've never seen before, and slowly I realize he's right.
Why did I leave like that? Why didn't I kiss him, tell him I love him…. I swallow the bile, trying to figure out if I can do what Caleb is asking. Stay here and let others handle this. But more shots sound, and I know I can't. I just can't.
Caleb recognizes the look in my eyes, and he closes his own in resignation. "Okay, but I go first," he finally whispers. And without waiting for an answer, he starts across the front of the building. As I watch him, something clicks into place deep inside me. He's my brother again.
When he reaches the corner of the building, he steps carefully over the dead bodies and peers around the side of the building. There must be nothing there, because he races for the trees ahead, stopping behind one to look again. After a moment, he turns to me and gestures that it's clear. I reach him so quickly I'm not sure my feet touch the ground in between.
There are a half dozen people in green and brown uniforms scattered around the vehicle and gas pumps. They're exchanging fire with Amar and Pari, who are stationed exactly where I imagined. This time, I pick two targets for myself, though I only assign one to Caleb. His aim isn't as fast as mine. We fire on "three" again. The soldiers are still falling as I turn to my second target, firing as soon as I have a decent shot. I can tell immediately that she's only wounded, but it's a hit to the torso, and she drops to the ground in pain.
The others retreat, trying to find shelter that hides them from both angles of attack, but Amar and Pari pick them off as they run for the next set of trees.
It's quiet after the last one falls, except for a low moaning coming from the soldier I injured. We wait, making sure no one else is hiding, but eventually Amar and Pari emerge from cover, holding their guns ready in front of them as they scan the area and the building to make sure all our attackers are down.
Pari stops over the wounded soldier, apparently debating what to do. I'm suddenly sure she's about to fire again, and I run forward. It's foolish to care about the life of someone I just tried to kill, but now that the soldier is no longer a threat, it feels wrong to shoot her.
As I get closer, I can see that she's bleeding heavily from a wound to her side. With proper medical care, it could be treated, but here, it's probably fatal. I bite my lip. I've killed before, and I've seen people die up close, but never that combination. I don't want to watch her die, but I can't look away.
Caleb comes up beside me, staring too. After a long time, he asks, "Should we try to question her before...you know?" Pari nods, her mouth set in a tense line.
"We probably won't get anything," she says quietly, so only we can hear, "but sometimes the serum has strange effects as someone is dying, and they tell you all kinds of things. We'll try."
Suddenly, it's too much to take. My hands ball into fists, and I walk away, fast, back to the road. I need to see if Robert is still alive. I need to at least see his face one last time. Caleb goes with me.
Robert lies at the side of the road, curled into a fetal position, his hands resting over his abdomen. No…. They were resting there, but now they hang limp, covered with blood. A dark red pool surrounds his motionless form. His body. That's what death is, changing us from a person to an empty body.
His face is pale, drained of all color, and I stare at it. Robert is in so many of my memories, almost as many as Caleb or my parents. In my mind, I see him again, rolling his eyes as Caleb and Susan flirted. If we'd both stayed in Abnegation, we probably would have ended up married – not because I was particularly drawn to him, but because that's how things work in Abnegation. And yet I didn't even notice when he chose Amity, and I barely spoke with him the few times I saw him after that. Even worse, I realize with a twinge that I feel through my entire body, I rejected the last hug he offered me.
Caleb's quiet sob catches my attention, his pain mirroring mine. "He died alone," Caleb whispers, and I bite my lip again, trying to blink back the tears. But it's no use. The Abnegation reject most forms of physical contact, but when I turn to Caleb, neither of us even hesitates. We wrap our arms around each other, holding tightly as we both cry for the friend whose gentle laughter we'll never hear again.
After a very long time, what feels like forever, I pull away. I press my hands to my face to erase the tears, and we walk back to the gas station.
Amar and Pari are still questioning the soldier, and I don't want to hear that conversation, so I climb in the back of the vehicle. It seems huge, with benches all around the inside walls and weapons in racks above those. Large containers are secured in place on the floor, and a quick look reveals they're filled with supplies.
Something nags at me as I look around, but it doesn't come together until Caleb voices it. "Beatrice," he says softly, "this must hold at least twenty people. Where are all the others?"
I meet his gaze as my insides turn to ice. We fought eight – maybe a third of the total. "They must have split up like we did." And that means…. "We need to find Tobias, now."
As I finish the words, we hear gunfire begin in the distance.