New Year's Eve

Thank you for all the reviews again.

I'm not entirely sure I'm happy with this chapter, it feels a bit bitty, but I'm too desperate to get onto the next one.

Enjoy x

'I cannot pour the bloody stuff!' Elsie's head snapped to her husband the second the words started to leave his lips. His tone was enough to alarm her. She rushed to his side immediately and was desperate to take his hands in hers and soothe the anguish on his face. He'd pulled his hands to his sides at the arrival of His Lordship preventing her. His outburst was completely uncharacteristic and it worried her. Maybe the conversation that needed to happen in the New Year would have to happen now instead. Clearly they couldn't go on like this.

'Carson, are you all right?' His Lordship was asking before Elsie had chance to speak.

'Yes, My Lord.' Came his automatic response, but this time it was loaded with anguish. In seconds everyone from Mr Talbot to Mr Barrow was stepping in to poor champagne and take a weight of the butler's mind. Her heart lifted a little, despite his faults, her husband was very loved by the family and staff. She silently watched the conversation play out between her employer and husband as arrangements were made for Mr Barrow to take over as butler. She knew it was the obvious solution, she hadn't expected her husband to take the solution lightly, and was pleasantly surprised when he did. She was also concerned, the defeat in his voice brought tears to her eyes.

'I don't want to twist your arm, Mr Barrow.' Charlie began.

'And I don't want to step on your toes, Mr Carson.' Barrow replied.

'I think His Lordship has found a solution.' Elsie croaked, her voice cracking with the effort to hold back tears. 'So we should be glad of that.' She reached for her husband and carefully escorted him form the hall, she knew she couldn't hold back her own tears much longer. At the door she looked back and saw the first genuine smile on Thomas' face in months, years possibly. She knew they'd had ups and downs, but she hoped this was a sign of a brighter future for him.

As they walked down the stairs Charles reached for his wife's hand. She smiled at him, tears threatening to spill down her cheeks. He nodded gently, tears falling from his own eyes. They slipped discreetly into her sitting room when they reached the bottom of the stairs and she reluctantly released his hand to close the door. He sat in the chair by the fire and sighed heavily. She watched him, leaning back against the door. He was openly crying now, her heart broke for him.

She was in front of him before she'd even made the conscious decision to move, his hands held in hers and a gentle kiss placed on his forehead. His hands reached for her waist and pulled her to sit in his lap.

'Charles, anyone could walk…' She began, attempting to stand up again.

'Don't care.' He murmured as he pulled her to him and buried his face in her neck, his arms circling round her waist. She rested her head against his and pressed kisses into his hair. She could feel him begin to cry again and she began to gently caress his back. She shushed him gently, whispering anything and everything she could think of to comfort him and tell him how much she loved him. His head moved down to her shoulder and he sighed heavily.

'I'm here love' she whispered.

'I don't know what to do.' He admitted eventually. 'I thought I would have time to think about how this would all feel.' His voice cracked. 'I feel woefully unprepared.'

'Don't worry about that now. We'll work it out in time.' She reassured him. He lifted his head and she began to wipe the tears from his face before gently kissing his cheeks. He ran his trembling right hand along her thigh. He sighed again, trying to formulate the sentence he wanted in his head. Naturally, they were interrupted before he could get there. Elsie leapt to her feet and smoothed out her skirt, Charles was quickly wiping his face on his handkerchief. She passed a quick look over him before he nodded and she invited the interrupter in.

'Sorry to disturb you,' Mrs Patmore began, 'but Lady Mary rang down from her bedroom. I sent one of the maids up because I couldn't find Anna or Miss Baxter. She's just come back to say Anna's gone into labour and to find the doctor. She's asking for you though Mrs Hughes.'

'Oh.' She gasped. 'Right.' She turned to her husband. 'Can you see to finding Doctor Clarkson? I'll find some towels and head on up.' Charles looked slightly flustered but nodded. She reached out a hand and gave his shoulder a reassuring squeeze. At the quizzical look from Mrs Patmore as she passed Elsie smiled. 'Later.' She said, rushing off in the direction of the linen cupboard, keys in hand. Within minutes she was rushing back up the stairs passed Charles. His curmudgeonly bemoaning of the inappropriateness of Anna being in Lady Mary's bedroom reassured her that, for now at any rate, he would be fine. She had no doubt that there was a conversation for later still there, they could wait.

Mrs Hughes knocked and entered Mary's bedroom to find Anna sat against the headboard breathing heavily.

'Anna' she breathed as she rushed to the maid's side.

'It's really happening.' She said, taking the housekeeper's hand.

'I know, pet.' She said, placing the towels beside her and wrapping both her hands round Anna's.

'Henry's gone to find Mr Bates and Doctor Clarkson should be up in a minute.' Lady Mary explained as she came back in and began folding Anna's clothes.

'I don't know that I want him to see me…' she said, the tension leaving her body for a few moments. Lady Mary laughed.

'I'm not sure either of us are going to stand at the door and tell him that Anna.' She said, sitting down at Anna's other side as she groaned again, leaning forward. Elsie reached forwards and rubbed the back of Anna's shoulders.

'Charlie's gone…' she started and then blushed heavily. 'Mr Carson has gone to find Doctor Clarkson, hopefully he shouldn't be too long, he's downstairs at the party.' Lady Mary smiled at the housekeeper's slip of the tongue. Their eyes met and they both laughed. Anna thanked her, resting her head back against the pillows.

'I didn't have him down for a Charlie, Mrs Hughes.' Lady Mary said, delighted at this snippet of knowledge about her beloved Mr Carson. Mrs Hughes smiled.

'Just don't tell him, Milady.' They paused their conversation to reassure Anna again, Elsie relieved that Doctor Clarkson arrived in that moment and began his examination.

Elsie gave up her perch on the bed. Mary moved to help the housekeeper who began carefully removing the silk cover from the end of the bed to leave only the cotton sheets. Together they folded it and Elsie lay it across the chair on the other side of the room.

'Is Mr Carson all right really, Mrs Hughes?' she asked. 'He looked very shaken earlier.'

'He will be Milady. I think it will just take him some time. He had intended to speak with His Lordship in the New Year as he knew this was inevitable. It just came sooner than he'd planned and he wasn't prepared. He'll get there.' The smiled at each other. 'Thank you, your concern will mean the world to him though.'

'He likes to take his changes slowly and we seem to have thrown a lot of them at him lately.' Mary noted, causing the housekeeper to chuckle.

'That's certainly true.' She said with a smile, before her face shifted. 'When he considered moving to Haxby with you, he told me that he had always imagined he would die here as butler. Retirement is something he never really considered until the last few years.'

'Until you agreed to marry him?' she asked.

'Not quite, Milady. His retirement plan was his long winded way of eventually asking me. He'd carefully planned out what we wanted and he'd made himself comfortable with that decision, but now it's unlikely to be a practical solution for us and he's feeling a bit lost.' Elsie explained.

'Well, if there is anything I can do to help, please ask.' Mary said.

'Thank you, Milady. We're both very appreciative.'

Before they could continue, Mr Bates arrived and Anna was summoning Mrs Hughes to her side as well. She willingly obliged, Anna was the closest thing she'd ever to a daughter and there was nowhere else she would be than at her side now. After the doctor determined it would be some time, Elsie excused herself to return to the party for a time to check on Mr Carson and Mr Barrow. She stayed for the speeches, before returning to Anna. The doctor had already sent Mr Bates out of the room and he was pacing the corridor outside like a tiger. Mrs Hughes gave him a reassuring smile before entering the room again.

It was clear things had progressed significantly and the housekeeper was at Anna's side in moments, holding her hands and encouraging her alongside Lady Mary. In what Elsie deemed an alarmingly short space of time, Anna was cradling a wailing baby boy in her arms. Tears were tumbling down her cheeks as the tiny boy took hold of Elsie's finger as she held it out to him.

'He's beautiful Anna, I'm so proud of you.' Elsie said, softly. She leant in and pressed a soft kiss to Anna's forehead.

'Thank you.' Anna said. 'For,' she paused, 'everything.' She said with a laugh.

'Come on, let's get you two cleaned up a bit. I can't imagine we can keep that husband of yours outside for much longer.' Elsie helped Anna bathe while the doctor checked over the baby before the housekeeper was allowed to wash the tiny infant herself. A broad grin remained fixed to her face the entire time.

'Hello little one.' She cooed lovingly as she gently wiped his skin with a damp cloth. 'I'm so very happy to finally meet you. Perhaps not quite as much as your mummy. She's waited a very long time and you've made her so very happy.' She heard Miss Baxter's voice in the next room as she and Daisy making the bed. Mr Bates' voice soon followed as Elsie was picking the baby up and wrapping him in a soft towel. 'That's your Papa, little man. Shall we take you to meet him? He's going to be very excited too.' She whispered.

With the little boy safely returned to his mother's arms, Elsie made her way back downstairs. She was immediately ambushed by an excited Mrs Patmore, who engulfed her in a large hug.

'And how are they all?' She demanded.

'Fine. A beautiful healthy baby boy. He looks just like Anna.' She said. She turned her head with a smile, knowing before he spoke that her husband had appeared behind her. Mrs Patmore chuckled.

'I'll bring some tea to your sitting room if you like. Everything's in hand upstairs, Andy's just been down.' The cook explained. The Carson's thanked her and entered the housekeeper's sitting room. With the door closed, Charles opened his arms and she fell into them.

'And how are you?' he asked, kissing the side of her head. She slipped her arms under his jacket and snuggled herself closer to him.

'Happy.' She said, her voice slightly muffled by her face being pressed so close to him. She lifted her head. 'Infinitely glad I've never had to do that though.' She said with a laugh.

'You'd have done it wonderfully, just like you do everything else.' He pressed a gentle kiss to her lips and stepped away from her as a knock came at the door. They allowed the cook to place the tea things down and leave before they sat and drank their tea together.

'How are you feeling now?' Elsie asked him eventually as he sipped the last of his tea. She hadn't quite filled his to the brim to ensure he couldn't spill. He hadn't noticed, but he hadn't managed to get any of the hot liquid on himself either so she was quietly pleased with herself.

'I'm not happy' he said, which was apparent by the sadness she could already see in his eyes. 'But I think this is the best solution.' She took his hand in hers. 'We should really be getting back upstairs.' She nodded. 'Will you…' he cleared his throat. 'Will you stay with me? Up there I mean. I don't think I want to be alone.' She smiled lovingly at him.

'Always.' She said with a loving smile. They slipped seamlessly back into the party, standing side by side behind the table where Mr Barrow was pouring more champagne. Elsie quickly wondered how many people would fail to make it to midnight having been consuming the stuff since early afternoon.

Elsie slipped her hand into Charlie's as they stood in the middle of the crowd watching the newly married couple descend the stairs together. He tipped his head towards her and raised his eyebrows. She smiled and gave his fingers a gentle squeeze. From the other side of the stairs Mr Branson grinned. He had been worried about Mr Carson earlier, but it seemed he need not have been. He remembered how supportive and reassuring Mrs Hughes had been following Sybil's death. It occurred to him that perhaps the housekeeper and butler had been doing the same for each other for years. As the crowd dispersed Elsie let go and stepped away slightly to address some query Andy had.

Resolving his problem, Elsie turned back to check on her husband. From a slight distance she watched the conversation between His Lordship and her husband. He looked more settled now she noted, he shook the Earls hand with a dignified smile on his face. She stepped back to his side again and he nodded.

'Better?' she asked.

'That helped.' He admitted. 'We'd best get everyone organised, it will be well past midnight before we are ringing in the New Year at this rate.'

Charles left Mr Barrow to deal with the departing guests and headed down to the wine cellar to locate a couple of bottles for their downstairs celebration later. He felt a calm wash over him as he entered the cool cellar. He'd always liked it down here. He found the bottles he was looking for and collected what he needed, before pausing. He set them down on the floor for a moment and took a seat on the stool by the shelves. He sighed heavily and thought about the events of the day. He needed to get his head straight.

Retirement. It seemed a strange notion now it was upon him. For many years he'd never wanted it, he had been so convinced he'd never want to leave. In truth he still didn't, but a strange optimism was creeping in that he hadn't expected. He considered the plan he had made in an effort to convince Elsie to retire with him. He couldn't see how they could run a bed and breakfast at the house on Brouker Road now, he knew all the work would fall to Elsie and he couldn't let that happen. But they had the house on the estate that they could live in and maybe rent the house instead. He considered what retirement with Elsie would be like and he smiled. The idea of spending every day of the rest of his life with her lifted his spirits significantly. He knew he wouldn't convince her to retire with him, but once someone was renting the house perhaps he could persuade her. The rent would be enough to cover the costs of Becky's care and their pensions would see to them. He stood and collected the wine bottles with a smile. Maybe the future wasn't as bleak as he had thought. Things would certainly get harder to do, he was sure of that, but maybe they could cope. More importantly, he would leave Elsie taken care of if the worst happened and that reassured him further.

Having said their goodbyes and several more 'Happy New Years', they began their walk back to the cottage. It was a clear and cold night and Charles was glad they didn't have far to walk, it was snowing again and the path was icy. They'd barely made it to the edge of the courtyard when Elsie made gave a yelp and staggered into him. He caught her easily and held onto her arms.

'Steady?' He said, allowing her to regain her balance.

'Thank you.' She said laughing. She slipped her arm through his as the continued their walk, slower and more cautiously. Their cottage was in sight when Elsie began to giggle beside him. He looked at her quizzically.

'You kissed me in the servant's hall, Mr Carson.' She said by way of explanation.

'Well, it is New Year, it's customary to kiss one's wife when toasting the New Year in.' He stated.

'Yes, but you called me Elsie and kissed me.'

'You called me Charlie.' He countered.

'Mmmm' she hummed and slipped her other arm through his as well. 'Charlie, Charlie, Charlie.' She sang happily. He laughed. 'It didn't have quite the same effect as the first time though.' She teased.

'I think I've spilt enough champagne today, no sense in having everyone drop their glasses in the middle of the servant's hall.' He said sadly, she squeezed his arm, but didn't say anything. Instead she reached for her keys as they got to the door and made their way inside. The house was warm, Charlie having sent one of the hall boys down to stoke the fires earlier in the evening. They removed their coats and hats in silence, before heading towards the stairs, both exhausted.

Elsie left the bathroom several minutes later to find Charlie sat on the side of the bed grumbling to himself. As she came round the bed she realised what his problem was. He was sat in his socks, undershorts and shirt, arguing with his shirt buttons. She took the chair from her dressing table and sat it in front of him. She sat on it and took his hands. He looked at her sadly. She kissed both hands then pulled them down to rest on her hips. He stroked her through her dressing gown and she smiled. She carefully undid each button, before leaning forward to kiss him.

'I'm going downhill already.' He said, gloomily.

'You're tired, you've had a physically and emotionally exhausting day. Even I've had a battle with my corset tonight because I'm too tired to think straight.' She leant forward, pushing his shirt from his shoulders. She pulled his vest over his head and retrieved his pyjamas from under his pillow. She helped him into the shirt and button it up. With her encouragement he stood and watched as she removed his shorts and held his pyjama bottoms out for him to step into. He smiled at her as he pulled them up.

'You're enjoying this.' He observed.

'Hmm' she murmured as she folded his clothes and returned the seat to her dressing table. 'I like being able to take care of you' she said eventually. 'You don't easily trust people to do things for you, I like that you let me do these things.'

'I hadn't thought of it like that.' He replied as he got into bed, turning on the lamp beside the bed. Elsie turned off the main light and climbed in beside him. His arm wrapped round her shoulder and she leant into him. 'I'm scared.' He finally admitted. She sighed, they were slowly but surely getting to the point.

'I know you are, but I meant what I said earlier. We will manage, we will make this work. Whatever comes along, I will be here by your side to help you through it.' He watched her as she spoke, his eyes filling with tears again.

'I like it when you take care of me. The only good thing about having that blasted Spanish flu was having you beside me all night, to take care of me.' He confessed.

'Well there's no need to get Spanish flu again if you don't mind. I'll happily continue the caretaking without.' She warned him. He chuckled.

'I love you, Elsie.' She smiled at his words.

'I love you, too.' She replied, yawning loudly. He laughed. They slowly manoeuvred themselves to laying down side by side, Charlie's arm still round Elsie, her head on his chest.

'Just so you know,' he said, letting his other hand reach over and stroke the smaller one resting on his chest. 'This last year has been the best of my life, I'm so glad I get to spend the rest of my life with you. Even if I am a grumpy, clumsy, old curmudgeon.'

'I never imagined being as happy as I am with you.' She replied. 'Even with everything else that has happened, it doesn't seem half as awful from here as it would before we were married.' Charlie leaned back and turned off the bedside lamp. She snuggled back into his chest and sighed, her arm snaking round his waist. 'What a day!' She mumbled into his chest. He laughed.

'What a year!' He said, yawning himself. She didn't rely, he looked down to find her already asleep. As he drifted off himself he was smiling. He still feared what the future held for them, but he had everything he had ever wanted in life wrapped in his arms. The changes and the unknown seemed less terrifying with her beside him.