And this is the end of this story! thanks to all of you that read this and to all of you that left the great feedback! you are all the reason why i love to right and post here. All my eternal love and always yours, OA.

Chapter 31: Epilogue: The Elena Diaries

Disclaimer: I do NOT own any of the characters in this story. There owned by The CW, CBS Studios and the companies that work with the network. Any dialogue and or story likeness is coincidental (except for the dialogue/scenes from the series that are used, which I do not own) and not intended to offend anyone.

Dear diary:

Today will be different. It has to be. I will smile and it will be believable. My smile will say "I'm fine. Thank you. Yes, I feel much better." I will no longer be the sad little girl who lost her parents. I'll start fresh, be someone new. It's the only way I'll make it through.

…

I made it through the day. I must have said "I'm fine. Thanks." at least 37 times, and I didn't mean it once. No one noticed. When someone asks "How are you?" They really don't want an answer.

…

I couldn't have been more wrong. I thought that I could smile and nod my way through it, pretend like it would all be okay. I had a plan, I wanted to change who I was, create a life with someone new. Without the past, without the pain. Someone alive. But it's not that easy. The bad things stay with you. They follow you. You can't escape them, as much as you want to. All you can do is be ready for the good, so when it comes, you invite it in. Because you need it. I need it.

Dear Diary:

Today I convinced myself it was okay to give up. Don't take risks. Stick with the status quo. No drama. Now is just not the time. But, my reasons aren't reasons, they're excuses. All I'm doing is hiding from the truth and truth is that... I'm scared. I'm scared that if I let myself to be happy for even one moment that... the world's just going to come crashing down, and I... I don't know if I can survive that.

Dear Diary:

This morning was different. There's change. I can sense it, feel it. For once, I don't regret the day before it begins. Because I know I will see him again. For the first time in a long time, I feel good. I tried. I want so much to make things right but every instinct in my body is telling me to be careful. What you don't know can hurt you.

"Elena, what are you up to now?" Damon asked me. I slightly jump up and turn around when I hear his voice so close to me. I was so focused in what I was doing that I didn't even hear him approaching.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to startle you." He said with apologetic eyes. I smile at him and and was rewarded by his face illuminating with one of those breathtaking smiles of his.

"Nothing" Was all I answered as I tried to be as discreet as possible while putting away the things I had in front of me.

He chuckled and slowly made his way toward me. "What are you doing with this old thing?" He slowly puts his hand behind me and take out the light green leather bound diary that my dad gave to me when I was 10 years old. It has been with me ever since that day. I have had many other diaries, deep red, light blue and even brown, but this one will still be the most special since my dad had it even engraved for me. It also holds my memories of life with my dad, when my life went from hell to heaven.

"Just remembering dad, and how happy I was with him and you guys. You know having a retrospective moment." I saw and try to hide the fact that all my diaries are out, since I have been reading my entire collection. But its no surprise when Damon smiles, grabs my waist and hoists me up from the window seat to reveal the diaries that I had strategically placed behind my back.

"I'm pretty sure there are more memories than just your dad in here, hun. I can assume our own adventures are also here. Umm, what would I give to read these and be able to see your dreams and aspirations, what you want from life." He has a wishful kind of expression on his face as he gently caressed the cover of my most recent diary.

"Hell no Salvatore, get away from the books." I lightly threaten as I go to him and snatch the diary from his hand. I through him an annoyed look that was anything but that since I was trying very hard to stifle my laugh. He just laughs and lightly and kisses my temple with a featherlike brush of his lips. I turn to take the diaries and hide them where I do, place that I know that Damon knows about but I have no way of really know for sure if my theory is correct, to hide the blush that I feel covering my cheeks.

He laughs at my antics and grabbing me by the waist, twirls me around so that we are dancing to an imaginary song, our bodies close together, just twirling around the bedroom. I laugh as I place my hands on his neck and let him lead me around the room. A few seconds later, we notice that mom is at the door just watching us, a small smile playing in her face.

I immediately drop my hands from Damon's neck and stop moving to which he just spins me again so that he traps my waist from behind, my back to his front. "May we help you?" he says as his head is on top of mine. I playfully try to struggle against his grip and he just grins and lets me go.

Mom just shakes her head and smiles at me. "It is good to see you smile, and I mean really smile Elena. Its about time you remember that you are just a girl and you should act your age sometimes." I just smile back at her, hoping that she knows just how grateful I am for all that she and her family have done for me. "I just came up here to let you know that the family is all here and that dinner is ready." With one last smile, she turns on her heals and goes back to attend her guests.

I turn to see that there is still a glint of amusement in Damon's eye. I must have looked confused because he chuckles and takes me in his arm, dipping me down and planting a sweet kiss on my cheek. "Ready to face the firing squad?" He asks.

I just laugh and, still in this position, reply: "With you, always." He straightens me and takes my hand in his, intertwining our fingers and guides me out of the room. As we are leaving the room I take a quick glance back and rest my eyes on the lilac diary on my desk. This is the book that holds my most current thoughts, hopes and dreams. I smile as I allow Damon lead me down the stairs and into a room full of Salvatore family and friends. The thing that he would never know is that my biggest dream and my darkest desire lie in the fresh ink on the last page of that book. I know there might be a sad smile on my face right now because I know that the words on those pages will always be an impossible dream.

Dear Diary:

Last night I had the best dream of my life. Well, the best if my dad had been in it. I had been able to go to college, open my own law firm, get engaged and even get married. But the best part of all was that by the end of it I was Mrs. Damon Salvatore. Even if it was in a dream I got to feel what it would be like to be loved by him. What it would feel like to be in his arms, to have him cherish my body and make me his own. To see all the love in his beautiful heart be directed at me. Oh, if only that could become a reality someday. But for now it will only be a memory of the best dream that I have ever had and a goal for the future. I hope that I can be happy in this life and that he will also find the happiness he deserves. He has always had a special, even mystic touch with anything that had to do with me. And I know that this will never change and neither will the fact that I have always and will always love Damon. We always survive and I can promise that these feelings are forever. With hope that this dream will become an unexpected reality.

Yours always, Elena