hey

A new chapter and Svetlana is aware that Freddie is lying to both Florence and Anatoly, would she tell Anatoly the truth. Or does she keep it to herself in fear of what will happen to her children and herself?

Can she actually fix her marriage.

This new chapter took so long, I don't think I ever took so long about a chapter, and I hope you guys love it.

I'm already working on chapter 7, which takes a big time jump.

Enjoy,

TempeGeller

LOVE AFTER CHESS

Chapter 6: Chess and the marriage

Dearest Svetlana

I hope the tips I gave you regarding chess, will help you win back Anatoly. I am sure if you try to get interest in Chess, you can get closer to him that way. If it doesn't work, than maybe your marriage need therapy. It doesn't hurt to try, I am the one to admit regret has a bitter after taste.

As a last tip I advise you to join him at the chess championships, loneliness makes you go crazy. If I didn't have my father or the kids I would go insane. You'll always welcome in Scotland, know that. We're friends, and I know if your marriage failed with Anatoly it would make you unhappy.
If it does happen, I will be there for you. Just know, you will have tried your all. Make this few months the difference between Happily ever after and divorce.

I have faith in you.

Your friend,

Florence.

Svetlana put down the letter and stared around the empty room. She wanted to tell Florence the truth, she wanted to tell Florence about Freddies lies, about Anatoly's undying love and about every secret that was kept from her, but she couldn't. She knew if she told everything she knew she would not just hurt herself. Freddie had made a treat to her children and a mothers heart could never take a chance, she had no idea if those treats to her children's door were true, if Freddie could actually make all of it come true.

She had to admit that part of her reasons were selfish, in her mind she thought about giving up Anatoly. For everything that happened, she had learned to love him over the years. Not the explosive love, a more lasting and slow love. She had no idea if Anatoly shared that love, but she had to try. Like Florence had written, 'Regret has a bitter after taste'. And every person is selfish, but mostly she was.

She thought about joining Anatoly on one of those Chess vacations, Anatoly was in Austria right now. It was just a short vacation, a couple of days she assumed. Later he would come home and drink away his sorrow. Anatoly was different than Florence was, he was hurt and destroyed by the loss. Svetlana thought about it, did she need to tell the truth about everything and if she did, would she be happier? Would she be happy if she were free of the guilt? Free of the treats? Free of the sovjet.

Dearest Florence

I'm really happy with your help. Anatoly went on a short chess vacation to Austria, I will be joining him on the longer vacation to Australia. It's beautiful over there, less cold. It would do great things for our relationship. I am aware that it won't work, but if it doesn't I will need to tell him about you. Just a part of me feels sorry for you, about taking Anatoly from you. It's me that's the liar, maybe if my marriage takes all this effort, means that it's not working.

. Maybe I'm standing in the way of happiness, the happiness of the two of you. I don't want to steal your happiness and that of a man I truly love. If I can't save the marriage, I don't want to fight for it. At least Anatoly can be with my best friend.

Help, Florence. What do I need to do my friend?

Svetlana.

Florence smiled as she stared at her 4 year old daughter. The winter of 1986, was one that brought her fifth year of chess. A year that she started another level of chess, she wouldn't make it to world championship, not now at least. She thought about it, if she kept winning she would make the world championship would be hers. She would be playing Freddie to move on to play against Anatoly. That meant that they would meet once more again. She was scared to see how less he cared about her. It were Freddie's words that told her all that. She smiled as she saw the letter that came from Svetlana. When she read about her concern off Anatoly's feelings towards her, she rolled her eyes as she read on. Anatoly didn't love her anymore.
She grabbed a pen and paper as she sat down at the table, her eyes were looking at her children who were still playing.

Dearest Svetlana

I can assure you that the feelings of Anatoly towards me are insensible, there's nothing there. Freddie assures me. I trust him about that, the two of us are friend. By the way, he knows what room I'm staying in. That way, he could visited me. If he actually cared, he would have done that. I promise to you, that his heart could still belong to you. I know he cares greatly for you.

Svetlana, give your relationship a chance. You have nothing to feel sorry about, I admit that my feelings still exist and they have grown towards the years. Yet I would never make a move on him, knowing he doesn't care. I promise to you, that he will be happy when you join him. Make Australia a romantic place.

Love,

Florence

She put the letter away as she hurt a knock on the door. It was Freddie who moved his arms around her body. She smiled as he sat down at the table.
"Would you like a drink, Freddie?" She smiled at him. "I have coffee, tea, water, cola, lemonade, ice tea and milk."
"Some water is okay…" He said.

"What's going on with Anatoly?" She took the bottle from the fridge and poured it in the glass. "I mean Svetlana has some kind of guilt about Anatoly. I don't understand why, I mean me and Anatoly is in the past."

"Yeah, I even told him what room you were staying him." He spoke "And he never even wanted to come. He said I quote: 'Why would I want to see Florence' and 'I'm so over her'. That's exactly what he said, I'm sorry, Flo. I wish I could tell you he did still in fact love you."

"Water under the bridge..." Florence almost wispered as she pushed away the tear that had just left her eye. She turned away from Freddie, not ready to face the world. "Freddie, do you think I'm wrong, about keeping the kids unknown to their father? Even Svetlana knows, she thinks I should decide, I just don't want anyone to get hurt. I jus..."

"Flo, he doesn't need to know. He won't care, not about you and the kids. You should not put yourself out there." he touched her hand softly.

"What if they run in to him? What will I say when I run in to him?" Florence turned away.

"That I'm the father." He said simply.

"He won't believe that." Florence turns away. "They look nothing like you do."

"The girls look like you." He turned away. "The boy however is a speaking image of him, but you can lie. I mean he doesn't deserve you."

"I think that's my decision." Florence turned away. "I don't know…

It was Wednesday when he came home, he wasn't drunk like she expected. He was actually nice, his dark brown curls were messy and his hand was pushed against his temple in a feeling of headache. He stepped farther in the house, not greeting her. She looked at him, but it seemed that he didn't see her face or notice her presence. She was like air. She slowly walked towards him, reached her hand to his. He didn't respond when her skin touched his.
"Anatoly." She whispered. He gave her a fraction of his attention. In that small millisecond she saw all the pain rising from his eyes, how he must feel lost. How everything that had been going on between could be extra pain in his direction, how she wanted to keep him, but never tried anything.

"What is going on Svetlana?" He didn't look at her, his voice didn't show any emotion. It was hollow, like everything he said to her this times.
"Anatoly, things are going awful between us, we've been awful for years." She turned away. "I think that is my fault, I've been making your life hard."

"It's not just your fault…" He whispered. "There's a lot going on, a lot that you can't blame yourself for. "

"It's not something I can blame myself for…" She looked away. "But I haven't been there, supporting you. I have been terrible jealous of you and Florence and…"
"You know what was between me and Florence is in the past…" He grabbed a glass of whiskey. "Even if I didn't want it to be."

"Are you saying you want it?" Svetlana knew the answer to that, off course he wanted Florence. There was no reason why he wouldn't love her anymore. Freddie knew that, and he used that fact to threaten her and her children. She couldn't speak the truth because of that, yet a part of her screamed to pull herself from this chapter of her life. Maybe if she was honest, both of them could grow to be happy. That sure was better than this empty life they shared together, they lived in the same house, but they were never really together. They lived beside each other , instead of with each other.

"I don't want to see you so unhappy." She stared at him.

"I don't want to see you so unhappy either." He had tears in his eyes. "Maybe we can learn to love each other once again. Or maybe at least try not to hurt each other on purpose. That's the least I owe you."

"What do you say if I join you to Australia?" She stared at him. "The house is so empty without the children."

"That it is." He smiled as he turned to her. "You can join me, if you want too."

"I want too." She released a well meant smile. That was the last thing he said, he stepped on the stairs, entering his study. She followed him, sat down over him at the chess board. She showed a glimpse at the chess board.

"Fancy a game?" She smiled at him.

"I didn't know you played."

"Well, I don't think I'm as good as you are." She smiled "But I am learning. I got interested in chess, I just wanted to know what's so nice about it."

"It's the simplicity." He smiled. "There are rules you need to follow and moves you can make."

"It simplifies life…"

She was not able to win any matches of him, not on the first day and not on the second. Her moves were not as great as the ones that Florence showed her. For one reason it was easier telling someone how to do it, than actually doing it. Yet it brought her closer in Anatoly's world. The concentration one his face, even playing against a weak player like her. Yet he took her serious. He never laughed at any of her moves and for the first time in all this years, she felt respect. Respect for something she was terrible at, respect for a move she made towards him. Respect for the things they were learning about each other, in a chess game they were close. Yet it didn't translate in the rest of their life, Anatoly never talked about Florence. He did show there was a strong love that survived, but he did show there was something he felt for her. Something so strong.

"You still love her?" She whispered that night before going to bed.

"I never stopped." He whispered when she closed her eyes. He couldn't believe it, she had actually tried to get their relationship started again. Yet he could love her, in a friend way, the part of true love would always belong to Florence and he could never change that. He loved the moves she made towards him, the chess game showed him that she wanted to try. She wanted to sit there, look at him and not talk. That was something they never did and by saying nothing they learned more about each other than they had in years. It was like their chess pieces talked and they did the same talking with their eyes.

When he closed his eyes, he wished he could love Svetlana in the way she deserved. Yet he would never be able to give her that. For his heart was Florence's forever.

"You should not drink." She took his hand. "It's not good for you."

Australia was tensed for Anatoly, Svetlana knew he had seen Florence. It was something she could read on his face right away. He had seen her smile, that was what she saw in his hand that was held to his face. He had seen her with Freddie, she could tell that from his tears. That bastard, Freddie, who shouldn't deserve any love. She knew for sure Freddie was just a scared boy, yet she didn't like what he did because he was a scared boy.

She wanted to free Anatoly from the hell that was his life, she had to let him go. Yet she was unable, because of love she needed to have or a fear that went through her body. So it wasn't honest that she kept him with her, she tried to do everything so they would fall in love. Maybe she thought she love him, maybe she wasn't sure. Maybe it was a feeling that had grown over the years, but she admitted they love she had for Anatoly was not a volcano. She never needed to see him and the only way that she knew how to be around him, were words that came from Florence. So maybe if she played more chess, Anatoly was falling in love with a version she created in the image of Florence and if he ever loved her, it wouldn't be about her. And that was a sad love, she thought. She remembered how it felt to just need someone, to be with that person all the time, a fast love. A love that needed to be in her body, if it wasn't she felt incomplete. That wasn't the love she know for Anatoly, that love was different. Off course she knew that she loved him, maybe she learned to love him in a feeling of jealousy. In a childish move not to lose her play toy to another woman. A woman that she grew to understand more than she ever thought. A woman that put herself behind, to see that the love of her life would choose for someone he didn't fully love.

Was this kind of love enough of him? For so many years they were rude to each other and only when she found out Florence had a child, she had tried to get in touch with Anatoly. Mostly their relationship felt more than friends, than as lovers. It wasn't like an old marriage, there had never been an explosive love, nothing that could have faded to this thing. Some people gave up on their marriage, because they missed that beginning. She didn't want to give up on her marriage, because in a way, she was scared of not having Anatoly there. Maybe she was scared of the consequences the end of a relationship would bring.

Anatoly stared at the chess pieces in front of him, he knew that Svetlana was waiting in his room. He knew that she wanted to make their relationship better, yet he didn't know there was anything to save. He didn't love her the way he should love a wife, he was always dreaming about Florence, about the way she looked all these years ago. It was an image that he never got from his mind, he felt that this deceive was worse than he committed all these years ago, he assumed that she didn't know he was still thinking about Florence and he couldn't understand why he couldn't forget her. Florence didn't love him anymore and Svetlana obviously did.

That should have been his truth, it was the only woman he could get in his life. That was wrong, Svetlana was the woman you should love, because there was no one else to love. She should be the only one, you should be happy to have her. And even if he did have love for in his heart, he didn't love her more than a friend.

Which meant he would do so much for her, yet he didn't want to be with her every moment. He was glad she had come, there was a loneliness that was send away. He could think less about Florence and more about his chess game. Even though he couldn't pretend Florence was not real, she was making her way to the top. Some day he would have to play her, even if that moment was way in the future. Right now he couldn't handle a Florence that didn't love him. A Florence that had left him and their love in the past. A Florence that had returned to Freddie. That Florence was one person he was so scared to meet.

When would they be meeting? How would the game go? Could he forget their feelings and play like he always did? Or would he lose his cool?

He turned away, he was sure. He couldn't handle what was coming, all he thought about was Florence. About their relationship. About everything. It would be something he could never forgive.