Love after Chess

Chapter 7: Decisions we forgot to make

Florence stared from the typewriter to Anna Marie who was practicing some Hungarian with her father. The deal was that English wouldn't make their way in too the house. They couldn't speak it to her father, yet sometimes she and her children would use it on their way to school. Her daughter Anna Maria was very skilled in both Hungarian and English, for an 8 year old child she was already so talented in languages. Both of them had made it their personal mission to learn more about Russian. Even thought that language didn't go that well. Ilona's Hungarian was better than her English and she was rather shy. She was a strong strategy and would not talk to anyone. She reminded her of Anatoly. Chess was something she could look at for hours, so she spent most of her times at home with her grandfather.
Her son Sander looked exactly like Anatoly, if they ever would meet she would be unable to deny his parentage. Sander was a young creative boy, very interested in painting. He was a fan of any new art form that would come his way. Sometimes it happened that Freddie took him along to watch art in a famous city. The last time it was Paris were he got enchanted by the Louvre and other art. He was very sensitive and couldn't keep his mouth shut. At school he protected his younger sister, no one was able to hurt her. He was the first born, than Anna Marie and Ilona was the youngest.
"Ilona." She called for her youngest daughter. "Jöjjön neki kedvesem."
She ran to her arms, she threw herself in them as Florence pulled her closer. Florence smiled as she could smell her daughters hair. Her hair was dark brown, the curls were large just like Anatoly's hair. It often tangled together and sometimes it took time to untangle it. She kissed her daughter on the cheek.
Ilona smiled as she returned to her grandfather's side. The chess pieces were ready for a new game of chess. Florence smiled as she stood up and returned to the kitchen. It was time that she started to do the washing up. She slowly picked up the dirty dishes as she heard the voice of Anna Maria.
"Ha jó a kedved, tapsolj egy nagyot ."She clapped her hands as she turned around the room. "Ha jó a kedved, tapsolj egy nagyot."
"Ha velünk vagy és jó a kedved, másoknak is mutasd ezt meg, Ha jó a kedved, tapsolj egy nagyot.." Sander sang along clapping his hands too.

"Tanultál azt a dalt az iskolai?" Florence asked if she learned that song in school.
"Ja, és egy másik dalt is." Anna Maria reacted remembering the other song she had learned.
"A fejem, a vállam, a térdem, a bokám,a térdem a bokám," She started to dance along with it. Firstly she touched her head as the song told her too. Later she touched her shoulders, her knees following every single thing the song told her too. "a térdem, a bokám, A fejem, a vállam, a térdem, a bokám. A szemem, az orrom, a fülem, a szám."
"bravó." Florence hugged her. "Ez nagyon gyönyörű"

Florence had to admit that these last four years had been strange, she had missed Antoly in her life. Yet the kids had created such a great life, she had seen him from a far, she had watched him pass in the hall, but she never released a single word. The words that he didn't care anymore, would be way too hurtful, she focused on chess and on her family. Freddie was her friend, but she felt that he was trying to make his way back to boyfriend, she always said that there was no way they would ever get back together. It was something she wasn't up too, she knew Freddie as a boyfriend. He always had been cruel, he didn't care for her emotions. He didn't listen to her. As a friend he was understanding, sweet and all the things he had never been as a boyfriend. So she chose not to invite him to close in her heart, there was always a chance that he would break her heart once again.

She would protect herself from heart break, if that was possible at least. The kids needed her, they needed a mother that was okay. Someone that wasn't thinking about love, since she couldn't become that mess she was about 9 years ago. She couldn't be the person she was when Anatoly left. She needed to be strong, the person she was without love. Well, she had love. The kids gave her love, it was a different kind of love. A love that had no end, a love for a partner could end, a love for a child would never end. Your kid can do no wrong, while a man can do. So she kept that truest love in her life. Yet sometimes she did feel lonely, it were times like that Ilona reminded her of every kind of love.

Ilona was shy, there were not much people that could get her out of her shell. She didn't talk to people, she kept herself on the side line. Did Florence allow her that? Yes, she thought a child didn't have to do things they didn't like to. She did try to help her, yet that part was a bit more difficult. She and her father were the only people that could get through to Ilone, a person that could not speak to anyone. Her teachers said she should have developed farther, that she wasn't smart enough for her age or that she had too much imagination. Florence thought that was nonsense. There were no age fantasy was something you shouldn't have, if it helped you suvive, she found that everyone had to do what they needed. Even if they played chess games against their selves.

Her marks were not high, but the teachers said she had no interest in class and that she should be placed in a school for special needs. So she took her out of that school and found a tutor. A man that Ilona did not trust either, but that challenged her mind. He said she was a brilliant child and that she had most likely been bored by the knowledge that was brought to her in a normal school. It seemed that she had an IQ that was way above the average. She knew that already, she knew her child was smart. When Ilona went to a private tutor the other kids followed, they did have friends. So they did something Ilona didn't, they played and as Florence watched by she tried to find a way for her child to stop being lonely.

When Ilona was around kids, they would either pick on her or she would close herself off from the world. There were no kids that love the things she loved and she would always be an outcast. Something Florence had been her whole life. Sand with all that worry, she always remembered there was something coming closer and closer. If she beat Freddie, she would be playing Anatoly. The man she could not forget.

Svetlana lay right next to him, how did he think about this last 4 years, it were a whole bunch of trials to get closer together. Something that never worked on both of their parts. They couldn't grow in to a romantic relationship. Yet being in this hotel, with the world championship in front of him, he started to fear something. He would be playing Freddie or Florence. Freddie had told him in the last four years of how he and Florence were together, of how they were the perfect couple. About how he gave up the best woman he had ever met, hurting everything in Anatoly's body. He walked through the hotel, in the hope to see a glimpse of Florence. He hoped that she had grown old and bitter, that everything loving had melted away. Yet he knew by the pictures that she had aged beautifully, her brown hair had started to curl and she had decided to get bangs about a month ago. There were always bags under her eyes, like she didn't get much sleep. She something look tired, but she still looked beautiful.

Yet when he roamed the grounds in search for change, he found something he least expected. It wasn't Florence, it was a small girl running around the table, playing both sides of the chess board. He remembered he used to do that as a child too. She had long dark brown hair, almost the same shade as his. She had big curls, which playfully curled around her head. Yet somehow the child reminded him of Florence, apparently the gods had chosen to torture him with a child, yet his interest called him closer. Almost like there was something about the child that called him there. He stepped next to the table, staring at the board. The child pretended she didn't see him, yet Anatoly was very sure that she actually didn't see him, when he was deep in a game he could not see anything either. As she moved the piece, she ran to the other side of the table.

"Don't you think you should protect your queen…" Anatoly said as the small child's head moved to his face. There was a bit of frustration in it.
"Will you stop giving away the weak parts of my game to my opponent?" She stared at the pieces. "Maybe I'm planning something."
"Okay." He pulled a chair closer and said down in on her right side, he saw how the girl stared at the board once again, enchanted by the game. She couldn't be older than 8 years old, but when he saw her play, he saw talent. She was intelligent for her age and she seemed to love the game as much as he did.
"Do you know who's world champion chess?"

"Anatoly Sergievsky." She turned to him. A smile appeared on her face as she moved the pieces to its original place. She did that for both sides as she finished she pointed to the chair on the other side.
"Will you prove you are worthy to be world champion?"
"Do you think a 9 year old is going to beat me?"

"I'm 8." She smiled. "My name's Ilona. I'm part of a triplet, you know."
"A triplet, your parents must have iron nerves." He smiled. "If they're all like you."
"I have a mom and a grandfather." She turned away. "I have no dad. I know I have a dad, but my mom is always sad when I ask about my dad, so I stopped asking. I can see she still very much loves him. It's sad to lose love. "
"Tell me about it."
"I wish you were my daddy…"

"Well, I'd be honored to have a child like you." Anatoly moved his hand through her hair. That was the start of their bond. They would come to the same table every day and play games of chess, he was enchanted by the girl. A girl that could be a better chess player than he ever was. It was clear that she had grown up with it, that she didn't use it as a weapon. She used to for what it was meant, for fun. She talked about her mother, about how much the woman loved her. She talked about how she didn't have any friends and how people thought she was dumb. She talked about her auntie, it seemed that she couldn't remember the name, but she liked her too. And than she talked about someone else.

"There's this boy." She smiled. "He loves my mommy, but my mommy does not love him back. She says he's going to hurt her. Does that mean that mommy shouldn't see him anymore?"
"Do you like him?"
"He's funny." She stood up. "But he always lets me win. You don't."
"That would betray the game of chess, my little munchkin." He laughed at her. She returned the smile for a bit. She was right, they had just played one game and he treated her like he would any opponent, she had come close to winning that first match and in the second one he was sweating, it seemed that the child had observed the kind of moves he made in the first game and reacted to it. Like she was making his strategies a trap, she played like a person he remembered. Florence, something that hurt him. The little girl looked like her, played like her and sometimes he swear she talked like a younger version of Florence. Was this a way the universe was torturing him? Maybe if Florence and him stayed together they could have had a child like her. A girl with blue eyes. A girl he could play chess with.
"What are you thinking about?"

"Someone you look a lot like." He smiled. "She used to be my second."
"Did you like her?"
"I did." He smiled. "I loved her very much, scratch that I still do."
"Did she die?" Her blue eyes became bigger. "Is that why you're speaking in the past tense?"
"No, she's not dead." He turned away. "I left her."
"Why would you do that?" She was moving the knight to another space. "If you love someone, you don't leave right?"
"If I left, she would get back something that meant more to her than I should." He laughed. "I left her, because I love her. I left her because it was the right thing to do."
"You hurt her, because the right thing to do?" She shook her head. "You're stupid."

"You think so?" He smiled as he moved another piece. "I think so too."
"What is more important than love?" She turned her head.
"Being true to the game." He pointed to the board. "Chess."
"I think chess is amazing." She looked up to him. "I don't think it's that amazing, I think if you love someone, truly love someone, chess doesn't matter anymore. A game can't love you back, that's what my mom always says. She says it can bring out peace and tranquility, but when it comes to making a choice, you should never choose for a game."
"Your mom is right." He watched her. "Has anyone ever told you that you're the smartest young lady ever?"

"Yes, my mother does." She moved a pawn. "My old teacher thought I was dumb, a moron and that I was too stupid to know how to cross the street. I decided she was stupid."
"A moron doesn't know strategy like that."
"Checkmate." She smiled.
"I'm changing that last statement." He shook her hand. "A moron doesn't beat the world champion. You are one smart little girl, tell your mom I said that."

Florence didn't know where Ilona went, she never left the hotel room, today was the first day Ilona chooses to go out by herself. She ran off the stairs, down to the library, Ilona wasn't there. She knew that because Ilona was not in her favorite chair. Florence continued to the lobby, she was fascinated by the big paintings that were put up, but even there she couldn't find her child there, she continued to the reading area and there she found Ilona, facing the one person she was avoiding, Anatoly. She noticed how the he smiled at his child, even if he didn't know Ilona was his. Ilona spoke to him, they played chess together and Florence couldn't believe how this had happened. She hated strangers and Anatoly had no trouble bringing out the child she knew and loved. Did Ilona know somehow the man was her father? She slowly moved forward, hiding herself behind a massive column.

"Checkmate." She heard Ilona say. She had won from Anatoly, tears came in Florence's eyes as she saw her child with him. She wanted to go there, stand by them as the proud mother she was. Yet she concealed herself in the shadows, watching the scene from a far. She was keeping this from him, how could this man not love her anymore? How could he be so gentle with her child, while it seemed his ways had grown heartless? Why would he not care for her anymore? Then she thought about Svetlana, her friend. In the last 4 year, their relationship had gotten a bit closer, but not the way she wanted it.
She saw how her child stood up and rand towards her direction, she had to get away. She couldn't be seen, if he heard her call her mommy, she would be to hurt to say anything. So she ran to the elevator, opened the doors and waited to arrive at their floor, when she opened the door she was welcomed by her daughter.
"Anna…" She hugged her. "What's going on?"

"Well, Sander just started to watch one of his arty movies." Anna rolled her eyes. "You know how I hate that!"
"What's it this time?" Florence raised an eyebrow.
"Fiddler on the roof." Anna spoke. "Do you mind if I go to the lobby?"

"What if the two of us go to the library?" She put her hand on Anna's shoulder. The lift closed behind her and a few seconds later Ilona walked out of them.
"Mom!" She threw herself in her mother's arms. "I met Anatoly Sergievsky."
"You did?" She smiled.
"Mom, did you used to be a second?" Ilona stared at her. "Why did you want to play yourself?"

"Because…" Florence smiled "I love chess. How about you go to the library with me and your sister? Your brother is watching Fiddler on the roof…AGAIN!"
"Isn't that the 56th time he watched it?" Ilona smiled. "Doesn't he know it by heart?"
"When did you stop being a second mommy?" Ilona stared at Florence.

"1981." She smiled. "He made it all the way to the finals."