Sorry for such a late update. I've been very busy with school again, work. Please forgive my tardiness and I thank you for keeping up and all those reviews I have gotten. I really appreciate them! I really do. So please, enjoy this sad chapter. Again another sorry for what is about to happen. It just had to be done.

.::I do not own The Outsiders::.

24. Loss

It was already the end of July. Ponyboy's birthday had been celebrated with the Gang. He received many presents including Sodapop's. Ever since his nightmare he kind of let go of some resentment. But he still couldn't talk to him without being angry. Steve was okay by now with Sodapop. It was still a strain consolation but piece by piece could both of them could be best friends again. Twobit was glad, work wasn't awkward anymore. Darry was still stressed that his younger brothers hadn't exactly gone back to their old selves. Dally stuck close to Ponyboy lately. He didn't know why but he hung out with him more.

On his birthday Pony got a letter from Johnny. His heart skipped a beat, he missed his best friend dearly. On his cake when it was time to wish all he wished was for Johnny to come back home. Opening the letter his eyes read it carefully each word.

Dear Ponyboy,

Im real sorry Im not there for your birthday. I wish I could. Still, I can say Happy Birthday! Turning 16 is pretty tuff. You sure are getting bigger. I bet you are a little taller now. Eat a slice of cake for me will ya? I send you a hug from where I am, a real big one.

Gosh Pone, I keep thinking of you every day. The gang. I just want to let you know that you're all my family. Thank you for taking care of me all these years. You're the bestest buddy anybody could have asked for.

Again, happy birthday Ponyboy. I wish you the best. I hope to get home soon. Give the rest of the letters to everyone please. Oh and tell me how Dally is going. He won't tell me much in his letters.

Have a great day Ponyboy. You ain't little anymore but you're still the smallest one of all. Take care.

~Johnny

Ponyboy smirked reading the end, Johnny knew how to push Pony's buttons even through a letter. Johnny knew Pony hated being the youngest. Sighing he saved the letter in his usual box filled with other letters. The next day he gave out the letters from Johnny to everybody else. Including Sodapop. He was actually surprised yet he didn't refuse to read it. Dally snatched the paper grumbling a thanks and getting out of the house. He was apparently in a bad mood. On the last day of July Ponyboy had woken up sweating in bed a sob stuck on his throat.

It was around seven in the morning. Darry was going to work in the afternoon as well as Sodapop. Nobody was in the living room as he tip toed down the hallway to the kitchen for a glass of water. Grabbing a cigarette from the coffee table he went out into the porch seeing the run down neighborhood he lived in. Puffing out smoke he knew college was the only way out. A small bad feeling in his mind grew remembering Darry almost accomplished that goal if it weren't for his parents dying and taking custody of his siblings. Pony grimaced, flicking the smoke to the damp grass he began walking down the block.

Johnny's house appeared, his father's car was nowhere to be seen meaning he was not home. Hesitant, Pony walked up to their door knocking softly. He did promise to check up on his mother every then and now. The door creaked slightly open, brown eyes peeked though the crack. Pony rubbed the back of his head not knowing what to say or do.

"I-uh-I was wondering...If...You needed ...Anything Mrs. Cade." He stammered.

Mrs. Cade opened the door wider smiling softly, "Nothing at all. Thank you for coming anyway. I assume Jonathan had something to do with these check-ups?"

Blushing lightly Pony nodded, "Yeah."

She smiled again, "He sure knows how to make a mother happy. Why don't you come in?"

Just as they were about to enter the small house a very fancy car parked by. Two men stepped out in their military uniform with a serious down to earth face. Ponyboy froze, his heart raced a mile a second. Mrs. Cade turned around slowly as one of them handed her a cool metallic object in her hands, his face had a hint of sadness but kept on his poker one. The other man handed her a small package, a brown almost torn box. Both sighed obviously uncomfortable with what they were about to say.

"Jonathan Cade died in action last week. We're terribly sorry, he was a great soldier, it's a shame to see one of our own deceased... He wanted those tags to be handed to his mother and the package to a boy named Po-Pony-boy Curtis."

The woman simply took them feeling their coolness, she gulped nodding. They looked at each other backing away and leaving not staying for the crucial part. Her face had scrunched up as she barged inside her house slamming the door behind her, the package on the ground. Sounds of her sobbing echoed loudly in Pony's head like someone screaming through a microphone.

Ponyboy was left standing frozen on the spot with a dry feeling in his mouth similar cotton. His eyes fell upon the small box on the ground. His eyes widened, what had just happened was so fresh so painful. Numbly he bend over to pick it up with his shaking arms and walked away in a blurry daze. Everything seemed brighter in an irritating way. Cars that honked at him sounded far away. The people who passed by seemed like shadows. All he could think about was his best friend Johnny. He ain't dead...He can't be dead...He's at the lot or maybe at the Dingo. Or at a movie without me. Maybe with his Ma or at my house watching television. With Dally... Swallowing thickly Ponyboy looked around, the sun that shone was gone. Darkness surrounded him. He was in town with people giving him strange stares. Pony lowered his head deciding to go home. Johnny's waiting for me.

At his place Darry was already home from work. The time was almost midnight. Sodapop was playing a somewhat friendly game of poker with Steve. Twobit was watching while drinking a beer lazily sitting over the counter. Darry rubbed face peeking behind the curtains for any sign of his smaller brother. Damn it Pone! Soda threw his cards on the table giving Steve a buck for winning. His mind wasn't really into the game much since he was anxious about Pony. Ever since the nightmare he was worried.

The door opened, it was Dally. He nodded a hello to everyone sitting on the couch. Darry growled some words under his breath frustrated that it wasn't who he was expecting. Half an hour later almost one in the morning finally came Ponyboy. Sodapop who was lying on the couch snapped his head up. Steve furrowed his eyebrows together knowing something was wrong with just one look at his face. Dally was not even paying attention. Darry stood from his recliner slamming the door shut behind Pony.

"What the hell is the meaning of this Ponyboy Curtis?!" He yelled angrily.

Ponyboy didn't answer, only stayed silent.

Darry frowned even more angrier, "I'm talking to you Ponyboy! Answer me!"

Twobit stepped in the middle of them knowing it was probably a bad idea, "Whoa hey! Take it easy superman. Somethins wrong with the kid here."

"Shut up Twobit I ain't talking to you!" Darry hissed.

Sodapop stepped closer to Pony putting a hand on his shoulder noticing his stiffness, "Pony...You all right?"

Steve folded his arms, "What's that you got there in your hands?"

That made Pony react, everybody waited for his answer. Ponyboy snapped out of his daze, "Where's Johnny?"

Dally scratched the back of his head, "His at Nam Pone. What the hell is going on?"

Ponyboy's eyes started watering, "No. No. Really guys where is he? You gotta tell me..." His voice quivered, "Please Dal. Don't lie."

Sodapop took him by the arm and set him on a seat in the kitchen. Darry was nervous, What happened? Twobit sobered up from his beers. Steve wanted to get to the bottom of this, he grew on Pony so he was also worried for him. Dally had an awful bad feeling inside his chest. Soda shook his slightly, "He's not lying, honey."

Steve asked again, "What's that in your hands kid?"

Pony lifted it to his face remembering those two men with the terrible information said. Mrs. Cade crying. The dog tags. Died in action. Died in action. With one painful sob Pony shook his head. Everyone was scared now. They needed an answer and they needed one now. Darry was the first to react to his so he firmly grasped him by the shoulders, "Ponyboy. Pony! Tell us what happened. Please!"

"J-Johnny..." Pony sobbed again, "Johnny's dead!"

Dally narrowed his eyes, "You're lying...You're fucking lying!"

Pony let the box drop so he could cover his face with both hands, "I ain't lying! I-I saw them Dal...I was w-with Johnny's Ma. They...came and...said he-he died. Johnny can't be dead." He cried hard.

Dally gritted his teeth, furious he slammed his hand on the table storming out the door. Twobit paled, he held himself against the wall. Steve sat down too, it was like a punch to the gut. Darry didn't know what to say, he was speechless. Sodapop fell on his knees on the kitchen floor. He was really excited for Johnny's arrival. After not seeing him a long time he was excited to see him again and say everything he wanted to in person because in the letter he sent him in Nam those written words weren't enough. Fuck...

Young Curtis kept denying it even though he had already said it. Said that his friend was gone. Dead. His hands were now into fists his head feeling light as a cloud, it was like air wouldn't go inside his lungs. Desperate for to breathe again Pony got up quickly his chair falling on to the ground making a loud thump.

The last thing he saw were Soda's big eyes filled with dread and Darry's hands trying to grab him before he could fall into a bittersweet darkness.

Johnny...

oOoOoOo

(Sorry for any grammar mistakes)

Thank you for reading!:')