"Hey- Bruce?"
"Yes?" Batman looked at his little boy. He was in his pajamas, thankfully not his darn Superman Ones, but still annoying to the Bat, as it was instead Flash. Red pants and shirt with the insignia.
"I forgot something in the tower."
"What was it?"
"I forgot my book."
"Which one?" He looked at his son (adopted or not, Dick had taken to him after a year and stopped insisting he was simply a "Ward"), his big blue eyes were unwavering and his bare feet were on the bone-cold stone floor of the Batcave. He noticed him shivering, because of said cold feet, so he swept the tiny ten-year-old onto his lap.
"Tales of The League: When the Sun Won't Rise."
"Oh…" Bruce sighed. He'd promise to finally read Dick the end of the story (which had way too many exaggerations, like Superman being so fast that not even the JLA Headquarters could pick him up. And by that it was the JLA Museum, not the top secret Watchtower, but still, Dick loved those stories), and in his excitement he'd brought it to the Watchtower to show everyone there. And apparently, he forgot it.
"I guess I promised. So let's go get it."
"Do you think the League liked the cookies Alfred and I made, do you Tati?"
"Of course," Bruce assured. He smiled inwardly at the hopeful smile on the boy's face. And honestly, the League loved his little Bird too much to not love them, even if they tasted like trash. "Alright, let's hurry, you need to get to bed."
"Okay." He slid off his lap and into the Batmobile, still in PJs with feet bare.
Bruce decided not to berate him and pulled up the cowl.
"AH! UNCLE FRICKING BARRY!"
"NOOOOO!" Barry stared helplessly at his sidekick, kicking and thrashing in a very frustrated Green Arrow's grasp.
"Barry! You will face us or he gets it!"
"NOO! WALLY!"
Wally screamed one more time and kicked in a very tender place, sending the scary Arrow into a not-so-scary groan as he staggered back.
"Run!" Barry screamed, "I'll cover your back!"
"But Uncle Barry, what about you-?"
"RUN! The rest of the League is coming!"
He sighed in relief when his nephew finally sped away. "Not so fast!"
He felt Canary's arm pressure his throat.
He squeaked but managed a comeback: "But I'm the Flash, fast is what I am!" Then his head knocked the blonde's jaw and he was gone- right after his sidekick, to find him dashing down the highway. His nephew had slowed down- brave kid- so he could catch up.
"WHERE DO WE HIDE?!" Wally screamed hysterically.
"Next big City is Salt Lake!" Barry charged foreward.
"Got it!"
After carrying him across the ground in the alley to the Zeta Tube, Bruce set his baby bird down to be whisked to the tower.
"Where'd you leave it?"
"Mm… probably in the mission control center."
"Okay." Bruce didn't even feel like asking his son why'd he'd been in there. They made their way to the room filled with holographic scenes, noticing how empty the halls were. For a ten year-old, this was pre-bed time, but for a bunch of superhero adults? There should have been more activity. It was only 8:15.
When they reached the Mission Control Center, there was only J'onn, but a whole lot of scenes playing across the screen and the sound of bickering across the Com Feed.
"J'onn?" Batman asked gruffly (notice that he changes to Bats as soon as he sees another League Member).
"Wha- oh! Batman!"
"Where is everybody?" He felt Dick wrap his hands in his cape and heard a yawn.
"Uh- League emergency."
"Why wasn't I contacted?"
"It was NOT my fault! He's fricking the fastest man alive! What do you expect, I'm not BATMAN!" Black Canary.
"It is too your fault!" Captain Marvel.
"Focus guys! Next big city is Salt Lake." Superman.
"You know… I've been considering being their local superhero for quite some time…" Green Arrow.
"You have got to be kidding me, this is MORMON country. There is no crime whatsoever." Hawkwoman.
"What are Mormons?" Wonder Woman.
"Have you ever met those really nice young men with black tags who are always asking if they can help you out?" Green Lantern.
"Yes! I have! They helped me shovel snow last year and asked me if I wanted to be taught about 'Christ'!" Wonder Woman.
"Yep. Those are Mormons." Black Canary.
"They're really nice. I wish more young men could be that kind and helpful. I have also heard of 'Mormon Helping Hands.' They helped me during that earthquake in Hadis. The women were so bright, and the men were so kind!" Wonder Woman.
"Eh, there are conflicting opinions. Mormon is a religion." Hawkwoman.
"I don't care if it's a religion or not- anyone who is that helpful and happy I have a deep regard for!" Wonder Woman. "We don't have to agree with the beliefs, but we can with their actions!"
"Yeah, okay…" Green Lantern.
"J'onn, where are they?" Black Canary.
"J'onn, what is going on?" Batman's eyes narrowed.
"Uh…" J'onn stared around in panic, wishing his teammates conversation about Mormonism to come to an end.
"Uncle J'onn?" Dick peeked out with his giant blue eyes.
"Uh, uh- okay. Um, Batman, Robin, I am afraid to inform you that the League is in crisis mode. We have spent the day chasing them across the country."
"Who?" Batman was angry he hadn't been told if it was this big of a crisis.
"The Flash and Kid Flash."
"Why're you after Uncle Barry and Wally?" Dick furrowed his brow.
"They stole… the pie. The Ma Kent Pie. They ate it, ate it all." J'onn, the usually expressionless Martian looked on the verge of a breakdown. "And the cookies you brought us! We got NONE of them!" J'onn was almost sobbing now. It was so… uncharacteristic.
Dick tugged on Batman's cape for attention. "Why? None of the League got my cookies, Tata. NONE." The ten year old looked really sad and upset.
"NONE!" J'onn agreed, blasting out of the room.
"…Batman?" Black Canary's voice came over the speaker.
"Yes?"
"What do YOU think of Mormons?" Canary again.
"I don't judge people on their religion."
"But you know everything about them, don't you?" Green Lantern.
"Maybe."
"I think the Mormon's have an unfair streak." Hawkwoman.
"What does that mean?" Green Arrow.
"Well, all their young men with nametags are really good looking. Duh." Black Canary. All the girls giggled at this.
"I'm good-looking!" Arrow whined.
"Guys! Focus on chasing!" Superman.
"Oh… you're probably right… none of that." Hawkwoman.
"HEY! SLOW DOWN YOU PIE EATING HOGS!" Green Lantern.
Bruce disconnected them from the feed and looked back at his heart-broken son. He sighed. "Dick, why don't you change?"
"Huh?"
"We have speedsters to catch."
Oh yeah! Here comes the Bats!
Sorry if any of you guys don't like the conversation about Mormons… you can think what you want, but it's regionally correct. Utah is Mormon country, especially the Salt Lake Valley. I do my research. Anyway, hoped you enjoyed and PLEASE review, they remind me I have a story to update! (:
~Universe