I do not own The Outsiders

26. Wrong choice of words

Darry paced around the living room his hands in his pockets. After Johnny's funeral the gang tried to follow him but he was too fast. Very fast. Now it was almost two in the morning and his little brother wasn't home. Nowhere to be seen. They asked Tim's boys, anyone, to find out where he was. Twobit and Steve were out searching. Sodapop tapped his foot on the floor rapidly making Darry more anxious. The clock ticked second by second. Two thirty-six am. Still no sign of Ponyboy.

Sodapop groaned in frustration, Where are you?!

Finally, the door swung open with it banging making everybody jump. Dally had a sloppy grin on his face barging inside with him carrying someone beside. Darry gaped. It was Ponyboy. A drunk Ponyboy. Again. His eyes were red with some drool sliding down his mouth. He slowly raised his head sideways and smiled brightly like there was no care in the world.

"Daarry. Why-why the long face?" Pony asked as Dally set him on the couch.

Sodapop grabbed his little brother by the shoulders trying to make him shut up before Darry could blow a gasket as his absurd comment. Dally leaned on the front door's edge with a grin on his face. They went drinking over at Buck's telling him to just let the kid get in. Buck frowned angrily yet let them in warning him that Pony was his responsibility and he didn't want an angry Darry to chew his ass off.

Some beers were drunk, music loud, laughs. It was like nothing was wrong. Just one fun night with no problems. Ponyboy was anxious at first, Darry had forbidden him to ever step even one foot in there. Still he needed the numbness, he needed to forget. His heart and soul demanded some numbness.

Darry clenched his fists together knowing exactly who was the main cause, Dallas Winston. With one of his hands he held Dally by the shirt narrowing dangerously his eyes at him, "What the hell is the matter with you?" He hissed.

Dally shrugged, "I didn't force the kid to drink it."

Ponyboy frowned, "Yer leave him aloone. He just helped Dar. Just leave him alone!"

Sodapop whispered, "Don't talk Pone, now's not the time."

Pony stood up, "You don't tell me what to dooo!"

Dally raised an eyebrow knowing what was coming next, beer makes everyone talk. Maybe Pony kept inside all his feelings inside all this time but I think now is when the real shit is gonna blow. Beer can work magic. Only this time it ain't gonna be some Cinderella bullshit magic. Blow up Pone! It's about fucking time!

The youngest Curtis slapped his arms away making his way toward his room in a very wobbly way. Darry shook his head as he tightly gripped Pony's bicep. He hauled him into the living room wanting an explanation. First he runs out of Johnny's funeral then he disappears and when he does appear he's drunk out of his freaking mind! Dally rolled his eyes, he just wanted to Ponyboy to spill out what he was feeling. It was no secret to him that he was a ticking time bomb. There were many things Pony wanted to say, wanted to share, wanted to let free. Maybe now was the time and place for that.

"Damn it Pone! You think this is funny? You think this is just a game?! You run out like you caught on fire and don't show up making us all worried sick about you! Twobit and Steve are still outside looking for you! And you show up drunk! God damn it Pone!" Darry exploded.

Sodapop sighed frustrated, "You could of at least told us Pony. It ain't easy not knowing where you are, you know?"

Ponyboy burst out laughing. Both his older brothers gave each other a look taken aback at his sudden laughter. Dally licked his lips, wrong choice of words.

When his laughter eased, Pony snorted as he gave a nasty glare at Soda, "Not easy? Not. Easy. Well excuuuse me for-for not showing up a couple hours! Unlike youu. Tell me, how long were you gone? Oh yeah, two whole shitty years!"

Soda's face went pale, he felt his stomach drop like ice and his blood freeze. He thought everything was fine now with his brother. That he had forgiven. That all of that was left behind. Unfortunately it wasn't. The pain was still there and visible. It was pouring. Darry sat on his recliner staring down at the ground, he was kicking himself mentally for not seeing this coming. Believing that everything was better he decided not to have some sort of family intervention. He closed his eyes hearing the rest of what Pony had to say.

"P-Pony. I thought-" Soda was cut off.

"Now let me ask you this . Do you have any idea how it feels to-to feel abandoned? To feel alone? To think that the person you thought loved you so much suddenly leaves? With just one stupid note?"

Sodapop stayed silent. His eyes began to water.

He shook his head sadly, "Yeah I didn't think so. You really hurt me Soda. You left me when I needed you the most. Then Johnny left too. Now he's dead. The only who actually got me is dead. Six feet underground. Dead. And you show up like nothing ever happened. Nothing ain't right. It will never be." Ponyboy wiped his falling tears with his arm, "I wish Johnny were here instead of you..." He rushed to his room closing the door behind him.

Middle Curtis was left standing in the middle of the living room his fists clenched at his side taking all those words. Guiltiness spread through his mind as he realized just how much damage he had caused. How he came back all better with himself, all the pain he had inside from his ruptured heart and all the harm he left. Especially on Ponyboy, the boy he loved the most ever since he was born. How he made a promise to his mother to always protect him, to love him. That promise broken. Swallowing thickly Sodapop let out a shuddery breath. Darry stood up.

"Soda..."

"Don't Darry. Don't. We all know this is my fault. I really screwed up Dar. Big time."

Dally left unnoticed, he didn't want to get more chewed out by superman. With one big head ache coming he went back to Buck's. The numbness was starting to fade away. Plopping on to his bed Dally closed his eyes trying to fall asleep. He wanted to get away from reality. After all he also lost someone he loved a lot too. Maybe the only person he could ever love. Johnny. With his eyes watering Dallas rolled over to his side grabbing a beer from the ground.

Pony's right. Things ain't ever gonna be the same.

oOoOoOo

(Sorry for any grammar mistakes)

Sorry for updating so late. Yes, you guessed it. Writer's block! But here is the chapter! Thank you for the reviews! And also for keeping up! You inspire me!