Detective Conan and Magic Kaito characters, settings, and ideas do not belong to me but to Aoyama Gōshō.

Warnings: Language, minor violence

TMPD Antics

By Taliya

XCII: Hakuba and Kudou

"Kudou-kun."

Shinichi glanced at Saguru, who stood next to him in the lunch line to purchase their midday meal in the cafeteria. "Yes, Hakuba?"

"Do you believe Kuroba-kun's particular brand of crazy is infectious?" the blond asked with a rhetorical air and a slight frown wrinkling his brows.

"Ah," the homicide detective hummed knowingly with a chuckle. "I take it you're referring to Hattori and Kuroba's stunt earlier this morning regarding the murder-theft?" Shinichi had had a first-row seat to his friends' very thorough chewing out by both Inspectors Megure and Momose. Shinichi thought he had never seen his superior so red in the face before. He swiped his credit card to pay for his meal as he said, "That was really gutsy of the two of them."

Saguru followed Shinichi after his own meal was paid for. "It was dangerous," he sighed as they set their trays on the table and seated themselves. "They could have injured or killed themselves—Kuroba-kun in particular—had anything gone even the slightest bit wrong."

Shinichi huffed. "Oh, come on. We all know that out of the four of us, Kuroba is the most capable of doing stupid shit like that and surviving that would get the rest of us killed."

The half-Briton sipped his miso soup after mumbling his thanks for the food. "He's just a trained circus monkey," he muttered churlishly.

The Tokyoite laughed. "Lighten up, Hakuba. Just admit that you're glad that neither of them were hurt in the process." He snapped his chopsticks apart, whispered a thank you for the meal, and dug into his yakisoba with gusto. He had missed breakfast this morning after sleeping through his alarm since Ran was away for a conference.

Saguru swallowed the small cubes of tofu, set the bowl down, and started into his teriyaki chicken bento. With a melodramatic sigh, he said, "I'm just disappointed I missed an opportunity to hand them both Darwin Awards. That's all."

Shinichi snorted into his noodles. "Darwin Awards. I'd say that one has to go to KID, hands down."

"You're absolutely right. KID's the only idiot who wears a costume that advertises, 'I'm right here, are you blind?'." the Division Two officer said, and then in a purposely louder voice, he continued, "Concerning the Darwin Awards, it only makes sense that Kaitou KID was shot." His voice carried far enough to reach Kaito, who had just entered the cafeteria. "He does, after all, have no sense of fashion, and that is bound to get anyone killed."

Kaito's sputtering squawk of outrage at having his idol dissed brought a grin to both of the detectives' faces.

Author's Note: Hehe, Darwin Awards! For those of you who don't know what those are, it's a made up "award" given to those who have done something stupid enough that their death would have been more meaningful than their continued existence. It is, however, very much a joke. I hope you enjoyed it.

Completed: 21.08.2016