Dan blinked. He had kissed Phil. Like kissed, kissed Phil. How was he supposed to react? He'd like Phil, that was for sure. But was he ready? He had only met Phil and now the older man was suggesting that they should be in a relationship. He stared deep into Phil's beautiful orbs, lost for words.

"I don't need a definite answer now, Dan," Phil said.

"Oh?", Dan felt himself turning into a tomato again. You have to stop blushing Dan!

Phil chuckled." You're all red again."

"O-only because y-you kissed me...", Dan pouted, eyes shifting away.

Phil smirked." Did you not like it?"

"N-no! I-I mean it was just... I don't know...", Dan managed to terribly stutter.

Phil dipped his head once again, reconnecting their lips. Dan was shocked but quickly returned the kiss. It was more sloppier than their first, but all the same. Phil subtly licked Dan's lip, and Dan opened his mouth, allowing Phil entrance. Dan couldn't help but moan softly. As of right now, he could feel his bulge slowly growing and he was freaking turned on. Seizing this opportunity, Phil smirked and rubbed their groins against each other, causing Dan to perk up his back.

"Mngh...", Dan was slowly reaching his point.

Phil pulled away, laughing. Dan frowned.

"I'm going to work on something now. See you later, Danny," Phil teased and messed up Dan's hobbit hair.

Phil casually walked out, leaving Dan alone to think. So did he have feelings for Phil? Most definitely, yes. But he was confused. Was Phil just thinking of playing with him? Or was all that seriously taken by Phil? Dan scratched his head with his fingers while groaning.

Meanwhile, Phil set up his camera, getting prepared to film another video. Microphone? Check. Camera? Functioning.

"Hey guys!", Phil started recording the video.

It was a simple Q&A that he decided working on. It wasn't long before he was finished. All that was left was the editing process which he kind of loathed but it was nevertheless necessary. YouTube was going to be his job now.

He glanced over to he clock. It was about 6 now and he was starting to get hungry. He walked over to Dan's room, giving his door a soft knock.

"Dan?"

No response.

"Dan, you there? I was thinking about dinner," Phil said loudly.

"D-don't come in! I'm not hungry, go without me," Dan lied.

He stared at his bloody thighs and arms. Fuck. The last thing he wanted was for Phil to see this. He was in a state of panic and stress and he couldn't think straight.

"Dan? You alright in there? You don't sound so good."

Dan took a couple of tissues and quickly dabbed off the blood he hid the blade in his cabinet and rolled down his black jumper.

"I-I'm fine Phil, really."

"I'm coming in," Phil insisted and opened the door slowly.

Dan who was lying on his bed, hugging his pillow. Phil looked at him expectantly. Dan raised his eyebrows.

"What?"

"Why are you so silent?", Phil asked suspecting something.

"Aren't I always? Anyways, let's order some Chinese takeaway if you want, I'm fine with almost everything," Dan rambled on.

"If you say so," Phil shrugged it off and took out his phone to start ordering.

That was close... Thought Dan.

Not long after, dinner came and both men ate in the lounge, watching some baking show.

"You need a drink?", Dan asked.

"Yeah, Ribena please."

Dan made his way to the kitchen. Sighing loudly, he rolled up his sleeves to see a bloody stain. He opened the tap to wash off the dried blood. It hurt, but the pain was worth it. He wiped his arms quickly before turning around. He jumped slightly at the sight of Phil at the glass door.

"P-Phil... Yeah, I was just about to-"

Phil cut him off."Roll up your sleeves. Now"

Dan started panicking. This was bad."W-what for? Don't be silly Phil-"

"I'm being serious," Phil frowned.

Dan gulped and started placing his hands behind his back. Phil sighed and stepped forward, carefully taking Dan's hand and rolling up his sleeves. Phil couldn't believe it. The cuts were actually deep. Dan didn't just graze the surface of his skin. These cuts were legitimate deep cuts that would most probably hurt like a bitch. Phil looked at Dan with sad eyes.

"Dan..."

Dan tried holding back but he couldn't. He started sobbing again.

"I-I'm sorry. I k-know I'm a horrible person. I know your mad at me but please I just-"

Dan tried explaining but Phil interrupted him again by hugging him. Dan melted and broke down in Phil's embrace. Phil was taller which not only made Dan feel small, but he started getting insecure and unsafe again. Dan tried pushing Phil away but the taller male wouldn't budge.

"Come on," Phil sighed and guided Dan to his bedroom.

Phil gestured for Dan to sit while he rummaged through his cupboard to find his first aid kit. Found it. He walked to Dan who was fidgeting and staring into blank space. Dan was seriously pale now, afraid of what Phil was going to think.

"Give me your hands," Phil instructed Dan.

He applied some sort of cream that made Dan involuntarily wince. "Sorry, just a bit more."

Dan nodded and looked away. It seemed harder to look at Phil now.

"Alright Dan. Please look at me," Phil said.

Dan just couldn't look at Phil. He was too ashamed to. Phil held Dan's chin so that Dan could face him.

"Danny."

Dan blushed and bit his lip slowly looking at Phil. He had to admit, he sort of liked it when Phil called him that. Phil smirked and cupped his face. Dan finally looked at Phil in the eyes. Leaning in, Phil gently kissed Dan. Dan sighed at the contact and returned the kiss almost instantly. But it didn't last very long.

"Why did you do it?", Phil asked in a hushed voice.

Dan pursed his lips and shrugged. "I don't know. And it's normal alright, it's not like I'll die; the cuts aren't that deep."

Phil shook his head." Dan those are deep, don't lie to yourself please."

Dan sighed and looked at his arms. Maybe they were that bad.

"I'm not saying or asking you to stop cutting all at once, I know it's not easy. But I'm gonna help you bit by bit. Whenever you feel like cutting, just call me alright? I'll be here for you, no matter what," Phil assured Dan.

Dan was close to tears again." I... I'm dunno..."

"Why so?"

Dan cringed. It wasn't long ago when Shawn had once promised something like this to Dan before. Took Dan a while before he knew Shawn had been lying to him this whole time.

"My ex," Dan let out a shaky breath.

"If you're uncomfortable about it, then don't talk about it-"

If held out a hand." It's fine."

"His name was Shawn, met him in university. At first we were friends but soon, obviously we became more than that. We spent a lot of time together and all. He even knew about my cutting problem and promised he would... That he'd never leave me. He was my first love, basically my everything. Then one night I had a really bad break down. I tried calling him but he didn't answer."

Phil held Dan's hands tighter, listening intently.

"Then I panicked. That's how I got this scar here," Dan explained and lifted up his shirt, revealing a scar below his ribs.

"Then suddenly, he appeared in my room while I was in the toilet. But he wasn't alone. T-there was another guy with him. Apparently, they were drunk as well. Before I could say anything, they... They attacked me... I felt helpless. I couldn't scream, I couldn't fight back... Nothing. The next morning, all he did was laugh and called me a slut before leaving," a single tear left Dan's eye and his voice became shaky.

Phil hugged him tightly and lied on the bed, cuddling him. He stroked Dan's hair softly and planted a kiss on his head. " I'm so sorry that happened Dan. I wished I was there to protect you."

And Phil meant it. Dan got raped and he didn't even say anything to anyone. Phil's heart felt broken just by listening to Dan's story.

" It's not our fault Phil. Besides you're here now right?"

"Here forever and always, Dan."

Dan let out a contented sigh and snuggled closer to Phil. He could hear Phil's heartbeat beating softly. Phil simultaneously pulled Dan impossibly closer to him.

"Thank you Phil, I mean it. And um Phil?"

"Yeah?"

"I- nothing...", Dan trailed off blushing.

"You silly oaf," Phil chuckled.

Dan giggled too and closed his eyes.

"Sooo, about what I asked you earlier today," Phil started.

"It's a yes, now shut up and sleep with me tonight," Dan said with instant regret. Who talks like that to your new boyfriend?

"M'kay then," Phil said as he switched off the lights, holding on to Dan's smaller form.

"Good night Dan."

"Mnnf," Dan was already half asleep. " 'night."

Phil smiled. "Love you."

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