Detective Conan and Magic Kaito characters, settings, and ideas do not belong to me but to Aoyama Gōshō.

Warnings: Language, minor violence

TMPD Antics

By Taliya

XCIV: Kudou and Hattori

"I have the lab report from the heist," Saguru announced somewhat faintly as he shuffled into Division One's office and made his way towards Shinichi and Heiji's adjacent desks.

"Oh?" Shinichi hummed, his interest piqued. Heiji had also looked up from the report he had been reading, green eyes following the blond with curiosity. "It's taken longer than usual. What does it say?"

Saguru wordlessly handed over a dossier containing a sheaf of paper that had been hole punched and threaded through with the brackets on the top of the folder to Shinichi before leaning on the edge of Heiji's desk, slumping over in seeming defeat. The two homicide detectives were too consumed with the report to notice Saguru's body language.

DNA Laboratory Report

Case: Kaitou KID

Remarks: Specimen contaminated due to location of collection.

Results of Examination

Shinichi flipped through the ensuing multiple sheets of charts that detailed the results of the RFLP, PCR, STR, and AmpFLP analyses to the summary page at the very end and read the last paragraph aloud for Heiji's benefit. "In summary, the specimen provided was conclusively tested to be non-human in origin. Further analysis revealed that the specimen originated from the genus species Propithecus candidus, more commonly known as the silky sifaka lemur of Madagascar."

"… what…?" Heiji muttered after several seconds of shocked silence. "Kudou… did you read that correctly?"

Shinichi squinted at the paper, eyes glued on the very last sentence. "I did," he confirmed. "It says here: 'Propithecus candidus, more commonly known as the silky sifaka lemur of Madagascar.' I'm not lying, nor am I misreading, Hattori." He glanced up at Saguru and finally noticed the blond's posture. "Well that's disappointing, isn't it, to discover that the evidence you thought you had was never evidence to begin with?"

Saguru chuckled tiredly. "Yeah."

There was a long moment of contemplative silence before Heiji blurted, "The hell is a silky sifucker anyway?" and both Shinichi and Saguru groaned loudly.

Author's Note: Erm… I couldn't resist that bit of "Telephone" at the end, and of course it would be Heiji who would say it like that. "Telephone" is a game I played in elementary in which one person whispers something to another, and by the time it reaches the last person in line, the end result may or may not resemble what was initially said. RFLP, PCR, STR, and AmpFLP analyses are, to my extremely limited understanding, methods of DNA profiling processes—from what I've read, normally only one method is generally used to create a profile. But as the sample was not even human, it took the lab longer to pinpoint the species. I hope you enjoyed it.

Completed: 29.08.2016