"We're not talking about that here."

I pushed the door open and headed out. Spot had to walk twenty paces behind me if he didn't want someone finding out about us. We had planned it that way.

It was also a good way to stall. I was not mentally, emotionally or physically ready to face that question.

He was rushing into the relationship. Impatience, was after all a fault of his character.

The walk was long and painful, everyone was rushing to get somewhere and I was sluggishly making my way across each block. Crutches were not easy to master.

Fletcher had dropped off some money for a trolley. He wouldn't look me in the eye anymore. I couldn't blame him.

The trolley filled up before Spot could get on the same one as me. I felt a wave of guilt wash over me when I let out a sigh of relief.

I didn't want to lose him but in the process of keeping him I feared I would disappear. I loved him or at least I was pretty sure I did but marriage was a completely different thing. That involved not working and cleaning and...kids.

I wasn't ready for that. It would be a long time before I even considered any of those things.

As soon as the trolley hit my stop, I wobbled home and headed straight for my bed. It felt so good to feel my blanket and pillow after the raspy hospital covers.

I closed my eyes and got ready to nap when a rasp interrupted me.

"Spot, if someone sees-

"No one saw me." He snapped. "I can't believe you did that to me. I asked you a serious question and you just walked out on me."

Let the fun begin.

"Well actually you made a statement that sounded like a demand."

"Violet." The irritated tone in his voice made me want to shout at him.

"Spot you are being so unreasonable."

"How am I being unreasonable? You love me don't you?"

I made sure not to hesitate " I do but Spot do you realize what you're asking of me?"

"To live in happiness! You wouldn't have to work anymore!"

"For how long?! Until you get your hand cut off at some factory!"

"I wouldn't work at a factory! Violet I'd make deliveries for some friends of mine!"

"Really? How much would you get paid? $10 each month?"

Spot glared and looked at me like I was stupid.

"$45 Violet. That would be enough for the two of us."

"Spot but it won't be just the two of us!"

He furrowed his brow and when realization hit him, he rolled his eyes "Violet we can wait and save money."

"For a couple of months and then what?!"I pressed, I adjusted my crutches so I could stand and fight.

"We'll wait some more" He crossed his arm. He didn't get the severity of the situation.

"No we won't Spot. You'll get urges and it's illegal for me to refuse you."

"You're crossing a line Violet." Spot crossed his arms "I would never do something like that"

"Spot- I just can't right now...when were older and more self-sufficient you can ask me again."

Spot stared at me as if he was trying to read my mind. After a long moment of silence he spoke.

"Violet we love each other. We don't have to wait. If we do then..."

"Then what Spot?"

He looked away "You won't love me."

I didn't know what to say. Spot rarely talked about what he feared and when he did it was always something that I knew how to fix it or where I could at least reassure him. This, this scared me too.

"Spot.. that scares me too."

His head turned towards mine. He furrowed his brow.

"I'm scared that you'll get bored with me and leave" I gripped the bars on the crutches and looked away "I know that you have a reputation to only be with girls for a certain time and we've been together for a long time compared to your other relationships so I just doubt and worry from time to time."

"You don't have to worry Violet. You know I only ever think about you."

"I know but I still worry."

"Violet, just… if we marry-

"Spot we can't marry. We're too young"

"We're nearly adults. Most girls marry at eighteen. You're only a year and a half away. Why wait?"

"Because Spot my family depends on me to help. Rose and Fletcher can only work in the summer and I can't leave them"

"Violet…they'll be fine. They were fine when you were in Boston. You'll see them. We'll still leave in Brooklyn"

"Spot I can't…Its not that I don't love you its-I…I'm just not ready"

He nodded his head. A displeased looked covering his face.

"Are you going south?"

I paused and gave myself time to think "I don't know yet. I'm pretty sure I am but I still haven't made a decision"

He nodded his head once more "Let me know what you choose"

I watched him walk away and close the door, his shadow passing through the window.

I tried to forget that I had lied to him as I returned to my bed to sleep.

I wanted to cut my leg off. It always felt like I was getting shot again if it even brushed by something. I had been doing much of nothing lately. Aunt Rita would bring me clothes to mend and I would take forever to finish. My fingers would hurt and bleed. When I got bored I tried to straighten the house to the best of my ability and then I would go find a suffragette and read her pamphlets before agreeing to go to one of their meetings. Aunt Rita of course strongly refused to my going but I told her that it was the only thing that kept me sane in my confinement. The doctor said my leg was doing well, I only had four weeks left with the darn crutches and then I could go back to work.

Just like I expected, I had been fired which helped my Aunt push towards going south. At first I agreed but then I chickened out. I kept going back and forth. I couldn't make up my mind. I just wished things would go back to how they were before. Before psychotic strangers cornered me in Alleyways.

I set down the dress I was patching, it was late and my leg wasn't going to let me work. I blew out the candle and headed towards the restroom. Once I got there, I changed out of my dress and into my nightgown. Finishing, I folded the dress and set it on top of one of the chests. Limping back over to my bed I pulled the covers and set my crutches down.

Sleep didn't come to me. I kept thinking and thinking. Mostly about what I should do with my life. I didn't feel like I was in control anymore. Marrying Spot was a choice I could make but I would enslave myself to him forever. What he wanted would happen even if I objected it. That's just how it was. Women never had a choice in anything. Spot was used to being in charge and he hadn't yielded to my wishes at any point since I had known him. It wasn't going to change if we married.

I just didn't feel like I was ready, marriage was such a huge choice, one I didn't think I was ready to take. If Spot loved me he would have to wait. I think he just didn't want to see me go and made a last ditch to try and keep me here. It was flattering. I hadn't mentioned it to Aunt Rita because I already knew she was going to hurl me into the altar. She'd been pushing me to find someone ages before the trouble started. I wanted things to back to the way they were. I didn't want to face reality or the problems that it brought. I wanted to be a child again. I wanted my parents back and I wanted to be five all over again. At that age I only ever thought about being a painter like my mother and what adventure my dolls would go into next. It was so great back then.

That felt like a really weak ending. I just wanted to post this chapter because well I'm trying to update once a week. I should also clarify that I read somewhere that women couldn't refuse their husbands 'cause it was illegal. It was a long time ago and its kind of fuzzy so maybe it was in England but I thought it was a nice contribution so I added it regardless.

QUESTION TIME

I want to see what you guys want. I have a path for both ideas but I can't make up my mind. Do you want Violet to go south and go on another weird adventure but still important to the plot or should she stay in New York and just get to the point?

Let me know what you think on the reviews or don't.