Since their argument after the picnic, Elphaba did her best to hold her tongue about Fiyero. She made a valiant effort, but Glinda couldn't be fooled. She saw the way Elphaba grimaced when Fiyero sat nearby, or the way those green fingers would curl into fists whenever he whispered in Glinda's ear.

It wasn't that Elphaba didn't like Fiyero—in fact, she had grown to like him as much as the rest of their little circle of friends. The two had a surprising amount in common, from unusual skin colors, to being well-travelled, to belonging to a ruling family, and they found they could get caught in long conversations together if they let themselves.

No, she only got angry when he was with Glinda.

The green girl tried hard to rationalize her feelings. She had told Glinda she was just being protective, but that wasn't really true. Certainly she wanted to look out for the blonde, but she knew Fiyero was harmless just as much as Glinda did.

Jealousy. Elphaba wasn't so far in denial that she couldn't admit to the word. But where it came from, she didn't understand. Perhaps it was Glinda and Fiyero's relationship in general. What did it feel like to have someone look at you the way Fiyero looked at Glinda? What was it like, that exhilaration, that giddy thrill of being around someone who made you swoon?

But when Elphaba would sit and wonder about it all—which she rarely did—she knew that wasn't the reason.

Perhaps it was fear. Fear of losing Glinda to whatever relationship would form between her and Fiyero. In all honesty, it wasn't a new feeling. She was always a little afraid of losing Glinda—to her old friends, over Lurlinemas break, and now to Fiyero.

It's just because she's my friend, Elphaba told herself at night, staring over at the huddled, sleeping form of her roommate. She's my best friend, the first one I've ever had, and I'm paranoid about losing her. That's all.

It was a thin excuse, and she knew it. But the truth was so daunting she couldn't even begin to put it into a coherent thought.

Glinda, for her part, had a simple solution. The blonde would spend far too long staring at her roommate, running through the words that would put Elphaba at ease over the entire thing. You have nothing to worry about, Glinda could tell her, I'm not falling for him. I'm falling for—

But even in her thoughts, the sentence would stop there. Glinda was much too afraid, and from that fear came doubt. Elphaba couldn't be jealous of her and Fiyero. She was simply annoyed, irritable, or just being Elphaba. And even if she was jealous, it wouldn't be because…

It couldn't be.

Maybe she has a thing for Fiyero, Glinda thought one night. More than once, the two had been caught deep in conversation. When Glinda wasn't around, Elphaba liked Fiyero just fine. In fact, lately, she got along better with the Vinkan better than she did Glinda. The blonde felt her eyes sting, and she turned over to face away from Elphaba's bed.

Tension rose between them.

It was a vicious cycle they fell into, and Glinda soon felt herself suffering from the whiplash. They would hang out with their friends, and Glinda would laugh and joke and have fun. But when they were back in the room, the arguments began. It was always the same thing: accusing and defending and mocking and accusing some more. The blonde knew she was dancing around what she really wanted to say, and she sensed she wasn't the only one. But nothing changed. Neither one of them could voice what they actually thought, and the argument would end with a soft apology—sometimes genuine, sometimes forced. And more often than not, when it was all over, Glinda would go find Fiyero.

Because Fiyero was sweet, and Fiyero was kind, and Fiyero was safe. Around him, she could laugh without questioning her feelings. She could talk without worrying about chasing him away. She could giggle and banter and just be with him, without trying to stifle the growing ache that appeared whenever she was with Elphaba. And despite what the green girl thought, Glinda could easily look Fiyero in the eye and remind him, we're just friends.

None of it should have been a problem, but both girls felt scared and lost, and whatever communication that was once so strong between them was slipping away.

Their friends tried to help. Fiyero let Glinda rant to him and encouraged her not to give up on Elphaba. Boq did his best to nudge Elphaba into conversations with Glinda. Silently, the whole group was rooting for the girls' friendship, which had pulled them all together in the first place, to win out. No one seemed more determined than Crope and Tibbett, who never ceased their efforts to make the girls laugh. And every once in a while, when the whole group was in an uproar, Glinda and Elphaba would meet each other's eyes and share a smile. It was then that Crope and Tibbett would nudge each other under the table, swapping private, triumphant grins.

But as time went on and their first month back came to an end, it became clear that their triumphs weren't lasting. So the boys pooled their money and hired a carriage one Saturday evening.

"We need to get away from this boring old campus for a night," Crope announced as they all climbed in.

"Does this mean dinner's on you?" Tibbett asked innocently. Crope scowled.

"Where are we going?" Glinda asked.

"To the Peach and Kidneys."

Glinda turned toward Elphaba, whose head whipped around. For a long moment, the two just stared at each other. Then the green girl patted her pockets, grinning sheepishly.

"I don't have any more sticking solution. I swear."

Fiyero burst out laughing, and the girls smiled at each other. We've been so dumb, Glinda thought, her eyes searching Elphaba's face.

"And here I thought those girls were exaggerating when they blamed you," Fiyero chuckled. Elphaba turned to smile at him instead, and Glinda felt her heart sink, just a little.

Then again, maybe not.

The ride into town was short, and soon they were piling out of the carriage and into the little café. They were met by a rush of wings and a cheerful voice.

"Welcome to the Peach and Kidneys. How many are in your—Elphaba?"

Everyone started and looked between Elphaba and the Owl that was greeting them.

"Ayla." Elphaba sounded a bit surprised, but she smiled wide. "How have you been?"

Ayla landed on the empty table closest to them. "Alright. I never thought I'd see you here again. And certainly not with…" She cocked her head to the side and looked at Glinda and Fiyero, who both looked slightly uncomfortable.

Elphaba wasn't sure if she should laugh or apologize, and if she were to apologize she didn't know who it would be to. Instead she just shook her head. "A lot has happened since I was here."

"So this is a friendly gathering," Ayla said, her eyes twinkling. "Are you actually going to be eating this time?"

"Yes," Elphaba laughed. "A table for six, please."

"Follow me."

She flew to a shelf and grabbed a stack of menus, then led them to a table near the back. Everyone took their seats and Ayla left to check on another table. Crope, Tibbett, and Boq looked confused. Fiyero was trying hard not to laugh, and Glinda obviously didn't know how to react. Elphaba fidgeted in her chair and cleared her throat.

"So that's Ayla. She, uh, helped me out once," Elphaba said with a shrug.

"I always wondered how you did it." Glinda shook her head and smiled, but it didn't quite reach her eyes.

Fiyero filled the guys in on the story while Elphaba tried to meet Glinda's eyes. The blonde was sitting stiffly, her hands folded in her lap. She nearly flinched when Ayla returned to take their drink orders.

As the boys laughed at Fiyero's story, Elphaba stretched her leg out and pressed lightly on Glinda's toes. "Are you okay?" she asked quietly when the blonde finally met her eyes.

"Yeah. I just…" Glinda looked across the room, where Ayla was currently hovering in midair, sorting silverware. "I need to…" She rose to her feet and left the table. The others hardly noticed, but Elphaba turned in her chair to watch as Glinda walked slowly up to the Owl, wringing her hands the entire time.

Elphaba turned back to the table and joined in the boys' conversation. When Glinda sat back down, she raised an eyebrow at the blonde and said nothing. Glinda shrugged, but her relief was obvious.

"I just…wanted to apologize," she said, loud enough for only Elphaba to hear. "I treated her horribly when we were here before."

Elphaba reached across the table and covered Glinda's hand with her own, just for a second. "Galinda," she said gently. "Galinda treated her horribly. Not you." Slowly, Glinda smiled.

For a moment, everything was right between them.

Dinner was everything the boys had wanted it to be. The group was as happy and energetic as always. More than once they caused a few heads to turn in their direction, but the other patrons seemed more amused at the noise than anything else. They'd smile and shake their heads, chuckling at the students as if remembering their own youthful days.

Ayla found them hilarious, and the look in her eyes when she glanced between Elphaba and Glinda was as knowing as Ama Clutch's had been at the train station. It made Glinda blush, but it did nothing to ease the tingling of her hand where Elphaba had grabbed it earlier.

"I must admit, Elphaba," Ayla said as she swept up the last of their finished meals. "As much as I enjoy wreaking havoc, I prefer when you actually come here to eat."

"I think I do, too," the green girl replied. She winked at Glinda, and the blonde had to curl her fingers into a fist to avoid reaching for Elphaba's hand.

It was getting harder with each moment that passed. Everyone was in a good mood. She and Elphaba were sharing glances and smiles and half-whispered jokes that none of the others would understand. There was no anger or jealousy, there was no bitterness or blame. There was no Fiyero between them—was Fiyero even here? She hadn't looked at anything but Elphaba for the last ten minutes.

It was getting harder, and Glinda could feel herself starting to slip. She fought the urge to tangle their feet together under the table. When they rose to leave, her hand brushed Elphaba's and it took all her will not to entwine their fingers. She lost her focus every time her eyes met Elphaba's—rich and dark and shining and bottomless and…

Glinda pulled herself away. She couldn't lose control. Not now. If the last couple of weeks had been bad, it was nothing compared to what would happen if Elphaba found out what she was really thinking.

So, when they all started climbing back into the carriage, she deliberately stepped past the spot next to Elphaba and sat by Fiyero instead. She saw the hurt flash across Elphaba's eyes, but it was gone so quickly that she forced herself to believe she had imagined it.

Elphaba was quiet the entire way back, staring out the window with a slight scowl and barely responding when any of the boys talked to her. She was especially sharp with Fiyero when he asked her a question, although for the life of her she couldn't remember what he had said.

"Elphie!" Glinda hissed under her breath. Elphaba glared at her and turned away again, pressing her fists into her thighs to stop them from trembling.

It was getting hard to breathe by the time they arrived back at Shiz. Crope and Tibbett and Boq tried to ease the tension, but they received little response. Fiyero tried to step away from Glinda when they climbed out of the carriage, but she grabbed his arm and kept him close. He raised his eyebrows at her, but she didn't offer an explanation. She simply clung to him, and he could feel her trembling.

Elphaba did her best to avoid looking at them. Anger wasn't a foreign concept to her, but she just didn't understand it this time. And for the life of her, she couldn't get a hold of herself. The group walked back to the main square of campus together. The boys' jokes grew more and more desperate, and Elphaba's replies grew sharper, more hurtful.

"Knock it off, Elphaba," Glinda said finally, glaring at the green girl. The group stopped walking and fell silent. Glinda had let go of Fiyero's arm, but Elphaba barely noticed. She returned Glinda's glare with one of her own, but the blonde crossed her arms over her chest, unfazed. "Just stop it. There's no need to be so hateful."

"Shut up." For once, Elphaba had no snarky reply. She wanted to scream at Glinda, and she wanted to apologize to her. She wanted to apologize to the others, too, because this was just getting ridiculous. But she couldn't do any of that, so she settled for turning on her heel and storming off toward Crage Hall. Without even glancing back at the boys, Glinda ran after her.

Elphaba beat her to the room and was already pacing across the floor when Glinda arrived. The blonde shut the door behind them and leaned against it.

"You're acting like a child, Elphaba."

"Go away."

"No. I live here, too."

"Go away."

"Tell me what's wrong."

"What do you think is wrong?" Elphaba cried, whirling around. "It's the same thing that's been wrong for weeks now!"

And here they were again, dancing around the issue, avoiding the words they actually wanted to say and leaving each other to read between the lines. Glinda knew it wouldn't go anywhere, but she felt her cheeks flush and her hands start to shake anyway. "We were fine at dinner. What happened?" She knew the answer—she had rejected Elphaba. She had pushed her away, and whether her intentions were good or not, it had still hurt the green girl. Still, she hadn't expected this much of a reaction. She went on, "Because if this is just about Fiyero again, then I don't understand! I really don't, Elphaba. You like Fiyero. You two get along great, always talking about travelling or politics or…" She trailed off, wondering once again if Elphaba had feelings for Fiyero, if that was the reason for all of this. She wasn't sure she could handle it if…

But Elphaba didn't notice Glinda's thoughts shift. She was caught in her own mind, trying and failing to understand what the problem was herself. She didn't know what this hot taste in her mouth was, or why her stomach was twisting itself into tight, vicious knots. She didn't know what went wrong tonight.

Or, maybe she did. Maybe she knew exactly what it was, and the blonde was the last person she would ever tell.

"You know what?" Elphaba snapped, pulling them both out of their thoughts. "It doesn't matter. You're right. I'm just being stupid. You can go on flirting with him and—"

"What, I need permission now?" Glinda demanded, her anger coming back and rising to match Elphaba's. "And why is it such a big deal to you, anyway? So what if Fiyero and I flirt? It's not hurting you, is it? So why should you give a damn?" The words she wanted to say still didn't quite come out, but the feeling did, trembling in her voice and stinging in her eyes. "Why in Oz should you care?"

Elphaba's voice was quiet, but it was nowhere near soft. "I don't."

It wasn't true. It wasn't even close. But in that moment, anything was better than admitting the truth. She caught a glimpse of the pain that flashed through Glinda's eyes, but she turned away. If she looked, the truth would come out. And if the truth came out, she'd lose Glinda forever.

Neither one of them stormed out of the room that night, but neither apologized, either. They got ready for bed in silence, ignoring the energy that thrummed in the air. There was a rage in their room that night that hadn't been there since last summer, but both girls refused to do or say anything to change it. They simply climbed into bed without another word.

When Elphaba reached to turn out the light, she saw once again the hurt on Glinda's face. But she said nothing, did nothing, and let the pain linger between them. The pain was better than the horror that could be there, would be there if Elphaba were to ever tell the truth and say, I care. I care because I don't want you to fall for him. I want you to fall for…

Even in her thoughts, the sentence stopped there. Elphaba looked away and Glinda turned to face the other wall. She turned out the light and settled into her bed. They spent the rest of the night in silence, both girls pretending that they didn't know the other was still awake, too.