Chapter the Seventh, in Which a Wizard gets Edgy and Mr Oats Discusses his Ass.

This chapter took a little longer to complete than I would have liked as I found myself up to my elbows in gunk, fettling the washing machine back into working order. You would be amazed at the kind of junk that gathers in a washing machine filter.

Ned, like his master, had been making himself useful. There was always something to be carried somewhere, or logs to be dragged to the stacks awaiting flume riders to guide them down - river. There were also sneddings and harvested poles from the coppicing and pollarding operation to be gathered, piled and packed for export via the mule trains that supplied the camp. There was no point floating the smaller cuts of wood as damage to its quality would be hard to avoid that way. There was plenty of work to keep the camp's asses, mules and horses busy and far from bored, as they were greatly outnumbered by equally busy lumberjacks. Nonetheless the wise old ass had begun to feel a growing unease whose nature he couldn't quite put his finger on. (1)

Ned wasn't alone in his unease. As the moon swelled, night by night, (2) Dr Hix was also growing uneasy, but was better able to articulate why. And he had logged thaumometer readings to back that up. A wizard can tell when a magical event is building up, and a Licenced Dark Wizard (3) can also readily tell if things are likely to turn nasty. He'd also been communicating with the ghosts of the men murdered by the Gentry (4) and the discarnate spirits agreed that trouble was on its way. They had also taken to hinting that they might take a hand in dealing with it, though even Dr Hix was at a loss as to how they might do so.

Mr Sharp was also feeling concerned, though his worry came from his daily thaumometer readings. He couldn't feel the magical tension building up the way the others could. (5) He was aware that there was trouble brewing, and decided to call a meeting of what might be termed the camp's experts on the supernatural.

The priests and the wizard gathered in the large tent that served Mr Sharp as an office. On a portable map table he had laid out a chart of his own thaumometer readings. Background magic was clearly on the increase in a way that couldn't be explained by the life cycle of the predictive pines.

Mr Sharp invited Dr Hix to contribute his own findings and the wizard placed a chart of his own readings next to that of Mr Sharp. The charts agreed closely.

'It is clear something is coming, and it's not just instrument readings telling me that. I'd be feeling more than just - stress related edginess by now if it were not for low - dose dried frog pills.' (6)

Mr Sharp was well aware of what an edgy wizard might be capable of, and carefully steered the conversation away from the mental state of Dr Hix.

'It's not just you being affected. The animals are starting to get edgy, though I've noticed your ass is less restive than the other equines Mr Oats.'

'Ned has seen this kind of thing before and come through it whole. He is a level headed beast and perhaps he should spend some time with the horses as an example to follow.' (7)

'Agreed Mr Oats. And Mr Snorrisson, I'd like your input on what is happening too. As much detail as we can muster is our best advantage here, though I have to say it's unlikely to be a lot. Survivors' reports from last time there was an – incursion – are rather garbled.'

'From what the trees and woods tell me (7a) there is definitely an incursion on the way. And the raiders tend to be unimaginative in the form their attacks take. They are quite likely to attack from the same positions as last time, we should certainly keep watch on those spots.' (9)

'Agreed. I have heard that swarf can be an effective incapacitant against the raiders Is there anything in the idea of placing it at these positions ?'

Dr Hix chose to interject at this point.

'Mr Sharp, I assume you are simply thinking out loud. The use and storage of tools with iron content at this camp has to be carefully monitored, so I am of the opinion that putting iron fragments in any concentration close to predictive pines is not a good idea. We want to prevent or curb magical mayhem here, not instigate it ourselves.'

'Point taken Dr Hix. Has anyone else any suggestions concerning these likely vulnerable points ?'

Mightily Oats raised a hand.

'I have faced this kind of threat before. I believe Forgiveness being iron and kept so close to my nervous system may be what helped me to see what was really there. Perhaps the men guarding these points should carry a shouldered axe at all times. It might be a good idea to check on this with Igor when we have finished here.'

'Agreed. And I think we have all noticed the link between the rising thaumometer readings and the approaching full moon. Once again the raiders' lack of strategic originality works in our favour. We need to be constantly vigilant but definitely ready for trouble on the night of the full moon. I will check with Igor and see to the vulnerable sites being patrolled, and that we are ready to treat casualties when the situation arises.'

The meeting was dissolved, with Oats going to see the camp's wrangler to put in hand his suggestion about Ned. Reverend Snorrisson returned to the chapel clearing to commune with nature again. Mr Sharp went to see Igor and then to put in place the plans made for defending his camp.

Dr Hix returned to his tent. He pulled the flap closed to provide the darkness he needed for crystal gazing. And was rather put out to see in it that the ghosts had given his improvised show only 'mixed to average' reviews.

Concealed from the camp, one of Mr Nutt's men relieved their group's duty guard, who then took the news of what might happen on the night of the full moon straight to Mr Nutt.

(1)In a manner of speaking.

(2)See Sir Terry's 'The Shepherd's Crown.'

(3)'Post - Mortem Communicator.'

(4)If you say 'Elves' they turn up to make trouble.

(5)Animals and wizards are more sensitive to magical fields than most people.

(6)Wizards get stro -, bellig -, er, argumentative in the presence of strong magical fields.

(7)A real practice. Donkeys are sometimes kept with horses for this reason.

(7a)A Sweevonian priest can certainly commune with woodland sprites. (Don't mention dryads.)

(9)He might not be aware these are the where the barriers between worlds are thinnest.