CH18

It is now one month later: (Early October)

Kate hadn't come home complaining about Demming all month and that satisfied Rick for now.

The only real down side of the last month was seeing the results of Kate's dad still drinking. "I want to ask for your permission to talk to your dad about his drinking without you present. Do you trust me enough to do this?" Jim had only yelled at Kate and had only questioned Rick's presence a couple of times.

"What are you thinking Castle?" It was her dad, she should be the one dealing with him, not dragging Castle into her problem.

"He is only yelling at you and is mostly ignoring me. If I can catch him before one of his drinking binges, likely while you are at the Academy, I may get answers he isn't willing to tell you. He's your father Kate, I want to save him just as much as you do." Rick just wanted to help her.

Kate sighed and hummed. "Do not alienate him Castle, you'll only make the job that much harder." Kate caved in because she trusted Rick.

"That's the easy part, he's not my father so I don't have a history with him. All I see is what he is now and what he could be if he stopped drinking." Rick was hoping his unique situation would help. "Ready to hit the gym?" Kate had today and the day after off. They were due to tour the house upon its completion next week, followed by the interior decorator bringing in all the furniture that they had already purchased. Then they would be moving out of the apartment they were currently in.

"Just let me grab my bag and I'll be right behind you." Kate headed for the spare bedroom while Rick went into their bedroom to retrieve his bag.

Rick and Kate started out as normal and then went to the machines. Rick watched as Kate ran him into the ground as usual. "You only win because of my leg you know." Rick needed to protect his pride.

"I would beat you even then old man." Kate teased until she saw Castle's face fall. "Babe I didn't mean it like that. You're the perfect age and I love you." Kate put her hands on either side of his face. "Baby are you listening to me?" His eyes showed that he was still distant and not seeing her.

"Rick?" Still getting nothing Kate decided to kiss him, however it took a little time before Castle responded. "Baby please don't think that you're too old for me. …Please?" Kate had already lost him once, she couldn't lose him again.

"I am older than you Kate, and you're just a teenager. You really are too young for me." Rick didn't feel right about this still, and was worried that he was already too deep into loving Kate that he couldn't stop.

"When is your birthday and how old are you actually?" If it mattered to Castle then it mattered to her.

"April 1st and I'm 26." Rick explained, not sure how Kate was going to take that.

Kate tried to keep her face neutral and prayed it was working. TWENTY SIX! It meant that Castle was presently 7 years older than her. Maybe she shouldn't be surprised since he was a Ranger, but she was. He was right-it did look odd. She wasn't even old enough to drink legally.

Kate did the only thing she could think of and that was to press herself into Castle's chest and hold him close. "You know what people are going to say Kate." Rick could hear it all in his head already. He was robbing the cradle. Kate was only 3 years distant from being jail bait. Kate was a TEENAGER!

"I don't care Castle and in a couple of years no one is going to say a thing." What could she say to ease his mind?

"When is your birthday?" Castle asked her.

"November 17." Kate answered wondering if that would help.

'November 17,' Rick said over and over again in his mind. Kate was going to be 20 next month and in a couple of years she would be 22 and old enough to really call her a woman instead of a teenager. Could he hold out for 2 years? "YOUR BIRTHDAY IS NEXT MONTH?" It suddenly hit Rick.

Kate giggled. It helped even her to think that she was turning 20 soon. "Feeling better now Castle? You're not planning on leaving me again?" Kate cringed the second the words left her mouth, since she didn't mean it like that, however it was too late. Kate could feel Castle tighten for a moment before almost dropping his arms from around her.

"I'm sorry Kate, I let my writer's imagination take over. There's only been Kyra, Meredith and a couple of one night stands. I haven't had much luck with women and you're already the longest I've ever been with anyone. I keep thinking that one of us is going to wake up from this." Rick had his own insecurities.

Kate lifted up on her toes and placed a soft kiss to Castle's lips. "All of mine have only lasted weeks or even days. I suppose two of them could be considered one night stands since we only had sex once. However I love you Castle and no one has ever made love to me like you do.

I'm scared too Castle. I worry that you're only with me because you found me in the library with a murdered mother, a drunk father, no place to live, and no job to make money. That you felt sorry for me. My life is a mess Castle, and I know there are women who would kill to replace me." Kate had her own insecurities-to her Castle was way out of her league.

"I'll admit that at first I wanted to help you, however, in a short time I started seeing the real Kate Beckett and I wanted to learn more about her. And I fell in love with her in the process. Some beautiful woman may turn my eye like some sexy hunk might turn yours, however she is never going to get my heart since that belongs to you now." Rick decided to let Kate know how he felt even if he did feel a little out of his element.

Kate simply buried herself further into Castle in response. "Do they teach you combat in these classes?" Castle changes the topic since they were still at the gym.

"Not yet, hand to hand and weapons training is coming up soon though." Kate had seen the curriculum schedule.

"I'll arrange to take you to a gun range on your next couple of days off. For now let's practice some hand to hand. I want to teach you how to fall without smashing your head on the ground and how to throw me." Rick was hoping to give Kate a head start.

"You have to weigh at least a hundred pounds more than me Castle. I can't even begin to hope to throw you." Kate was sure Castle had lost a few screws.

"Have a little faith Kate Beckett, have a little faith." Rick was smiling since he knew something Kate didn't.

They had done their exercises and now it was time to put Kate on the mat. "Humpff." Kate breathed out as she hit the mat with Rick telling her what to do. "Humpff." Kate hit the mat once more, with Rick telling her what to do again.

After Kate hit the mat she didn't know how many times, she said, "I'm going to be bruised all over Castle and you're still standing." Kate tried to bend her back that was already starting to scream at her.

"One more time Kate and maybe you'll…" Rick lunged for Kate and didn't hold back this time. He slammed Kate into the mat. She was lying on the mat breathing heavily. "Did you notice that you landed properly without me telling you what to do again?" Rick commented, hoping that Kate would notice.

Kate was hurting all over right up until Castle had pointed that out. Now she was lying on the mat with a grin on her face. "Up Kate Beckett, it's time to teach you how to defend yourself and put me on the mat." Rick reached out and helped Kate to stand.

Rick walked Kate through each move before speeding it up a little. "Okay, I have a weapon and I'm going to stick you with it. …Ready this is going to be fast." Rick watched Kate nod her head.

Rick lunged forward and Kate caught his hand, slapped her other hand on his arm, and twisted quickly just like Castle had shown her. Before she knew it he was on his back with a loud thud as he hit the mat. "I DID IT!" Kate was bouncing up and down happy with herself.

"That you did, now a few more times so that you get the hang of it and we'll move on." Rick said.

Castle hit the mat six more times and it had Kate grinning wide. "Okay time to change things since not everyone comes from your front." Rick stepped around behind Kate. "I'm going to take you by surprise and this is my knife." Rick wrapped an arm around Kate's middle and placed his other hand under Kate's chin. "Now what's the first thing you can think of?"

"Try and take his knife away from him?" Kate remarked since it was the most dangerous object he had.

"Alright, use both your hands and try and take my knife." Rick told her. Kate reached up and grabbed Castle's arm with both hands and does her best to move his arm. Only problem was it moved all right, from one side of her throat to the other.

Rick let go of her. "I just slit your throat. You'll be dead in seconds as you lay on the ground gurgling up blood, suffering, and in pain."

"So what am I supposed to do Castle?" Kate turned to look at him, except what she saw was Castle frozen in place. He was slowly backing up inch by inch, step by step.

"Castle? …What Castle?" Kate stepped in close to take a hold of Castle and in an instant Kate found herself on the mat being held down with severe force. "Castle stop, …CASTLE!" Kate yelled at him and watched Castle start blinking looking down at her.

"OH GOD! I'M SO SORRY KATE. …OH GOD!" Castle backed off and sat down not far away. He curled up into himself as he held his legs in place and looked out into nothing.

Kate got up slowly and moved back towards Castle again and started to touch him but then thought better of it after what just happened. "Castle? ...Rick?"

Problem was that Castle wasn't responding to her so she sat down and watched him for a while. When Castle started blinking again and looked like he had some life in his eyes, Kate stood up and helped him stand. Her own aches and pains from the day were long forgotten.

Kate pushed Castle towards the men's locker room. "Go shower and get changed Castle and I'll meet you out front." Kate watched until Castle disappeared from sight.

Kate wanted to be out front waiting fast so she opened her locker with Castle's lock that she had been using since their first date and stripped and grabbed her towel, shampoo, and soap and hit the showers. Kate had only just started on her hair. "Did you see that hunk? I am so going to find out who he is." Some woman's voice called out.

"What about the woman he was with April, he was here working with someone," another woman's voice said.

"That girl? Give me a break. Besides he was only teaching her how to handle herself, like some kind of self-defense training. She likely paid him to teach her. There is no way they are together," this April person responded.

"With the look that she was giving him? I don't think so April, there is something going on there," the second woman replied.

"It's not possible Barb, and even if there is something happening, she's a child. He deserves a woman and he's going to get one, just as soon as I can get my hands on him," April commented.

"You're just going to cause trouble April. You should be careful or you're the one who's going to end up hurt," Barb answered.

Kate didn't wait around to hear anything else. She had rinsed the shampoo out of her hair, grabbed her towel and dried off while walking to her locker where she changed into her clothes as fast as she could.

Kate was literally outside walking back and forth and then finally in circles. "You're not actually listening to what those two had to say are you Katherine?" Jill suddenly spoke up.

"They're right Jill, I am a child compared to Castle. With a dead mother and a drunk father. I don't even have a job and my career as a lawyer is in the trash." Kate countered.

"Katherine, a woman like that one is someone who would only hurt Richard and you know that. Just like that lady in Victoria was going to do." Jill reminded her.

"Melody." Kate whispered. "A married Melody even."

"You flew out there to get Richard back Katherine. You were willing to fight to keep him and find out what went wrong. Don't give Richard a reason to see the age difference between you two. Show him that you are worth keeping." Jill said.

"We already have sex daily. Great sex even, the kind of sex I didn't know was possible. You think he's willing to…" Kate's voice trailed off.

"I'm not referring to sex Katherine. Love isn't just sex. Richard is courting you by taking you out on dates even though you live together, to use an old school term. Plan and ask him out on a date and pay for it yourself instead of letting Richard do everything. You love him…prove it." Jill replied. "As for what sounds like some kinky thing I think that you are thinking of, you are never going to know unless you build up the nerve to bring it up. Maybe don't just ask him, but just do it and see how he reacts. He loves you and you might be surprised." Jill added.

It got Kate to stop walking. "Maybe, …I need to go shopping first. God, I'm scared about this Jill. This is really out there, I mean really…" Kate was interrupted when she saw Castle walking out with his bag over his shoulder. Kate walked quickly up to him, dropped her bag, wrapped her arms around his neck, and kissed him soundly. She used her tongue to stroke his lower lip asking for entrance and when granted started searching his mouth.

After Kate broke from the kiss that had a smile on Castle's face, she said, "Come on Castle, let's go home and I'll cook you one of mom's favorite recipes." Kate didn't bother to look if April or Barb were watching or not. Castle was hers and she was keeping him.

Kate and Rick sat on the love seat enjoying a glass of wine and listening to nothing, while enjoying each others company. "What happened Rick? One second you were with me and the next you were just gone." Kate turned to look at him.

Kate saw the light in his eyes go out and for a moment Kate feared she should have just left it be, but she cared for him. Hell she loved him and only wanted to help somehow.

"I was a Pathfinder Airborne Ranger. Part of my job was to drop in first, alone, and secure and scout the area before the rest of my squad dropped in or flew in. That meant taking out anyone that was a threat before the squad arrived." Rick started off with.

It was now that Kate started to put 2+2 together and thought she was getting to 4.

"There was a job where we had to pick up someone. Someone stumbled into the drop zone and it was my job to keep it clear till my team dropped in. I did just what I was trained to do, what I had to do." Rick paused and Kate could see it play across his face. Every last twitch, breath, and eye movement.

Kate now knew Castle had killed whoever it was. He was a Ranger with the Army.

"I worked my way up behind him and killed him, quietly." Rick was watching every movement and could feel the blood surge out of his neck and coat his hands.

Kate thought about it. Castle had slit her throat with his finger. Rick had done the same to whoever this person was.

"I laid him down on the ground and signaled the zone was clear and we got on with the mission. It was only during evac by helicopter that I saw the body. It was just a kid. He was 15 maybe 16 years old at most. The target didn't have kids and I never found out who he was.

He could have been some kid from another house out for a walk and just happened to walk in the wrong place at the wrong time." Rick could still see the dead body lying in the grass.

Kate put her glass of wine down and took Castle's from him and set it down. Then Kate moved to sit in Castle's lap while spreading her legs to either side of his. Kate took his face in her hands and looked at him and didn't speak until she was sure Castle was looking at her.

"I don't pretend to understand your life as a Ranger Castle. I just know that I'm proud of what you did for your country even if it has cost you. However I'm here for you, and I'm not going anywhere." Kate kissed him. "Those people are always going to be with you Castle, you just can't let their memory rule your life. Come on Castle, come to bed and get some sleep. Tomorrow is a new day and you promised me a date." Kate stood up and used her arms to help lift him up and escort him to their bedroom, dying to find out what Rick had planned this time.

Kate woke up in the morning and found herself on top of Castle this time, guessing that in her sleep she must have wanted to keep Castle in place if he had a nightmare during the night. However this time Castle didn't have his arms wrapped around her holding her tight; it was this loss that she found uncomfortable.

Kate pushed her nose into Castle's chest and breathed him in happy to wake up either on him or next to him. Kate could feel the rise and fall of his chest. Kate placed her ear over his heart and listened to it beating. "I'm not giving this up and April can't have him." Kate whispered into his chest.

Still she needed to get this day started so she extracted herself without waking him and stepped into the shower. Coming back out with her hair in a towel she searched for one of Castle's shirts and put it on, only bothering to button a couple of buttons. Placing the shirt against her nose she noticed that it smelled like Castle. Smiling happily, she walked to the kitchen to start breakfast.

Kate was just finishing the second waffle when Castle showed up. "I could smell your cooking from a mile away." Rick sat down at the counter.

"I doubt that Castle but it's sweet." Kate placed a plate with a waffle on the counter and pulled the berries out of the refrigerator along with the butter followed by the syrup. A glass of juice and milk for him followed, while Kate worked on her own breakfast.

"What's your plan for today Castle?" Kate really did want to know this time.

"Uh-uh Kate, you know the rules. It's a surprise though we're not leaving till about a quarter after one." Castle gave her the only hint he was going to give. Kate simply glared at him.

Kate spent the time reading while Rick spent the time cleaning. "You could ask for help Castle."

"You did your part Kate, allow me to do mine." Rick countered. He watched Kate stick her tongue out at him which made him chuckle.

It was just past noon and they were getting dressed for their date. "Just casual this time Kate, Jeans, top, tennis shoes." Rick said to her.

"30 West 8th Street." Castle told the driver which gave Kate the area but not the exact location as she tried to picture what was over there.

"Stumptown Coffee Roasters." Kate read the sign.

Inside were coffee baristas who experimented with coffee bean varieties from all over the world using different brewing methods. Kate stepped inside and took in a deep breath, reveling in the scent of all the coffee types.

There were six different coffees already made on the counter with a filter which showed what the beans looked like along with a tag telling you about the beans. Behind that was a bag of the beans that you could purchase.

Kate was amazed that she didn't actually like two of them very much. The other four however were wonderful. Kate watched Castle buy a bag. "Why that one Castle?"

"Because this one is the one you liked most." Castle said to her. Kate could only stare at him since he was right, but just how did he know that? Still it was sweet.

"550 9th Avenue." Castle directed the taxi driver. Once again that only told Kate where in the city they are going with no idea what that address actually is.

"Frames Bowling Lounge." Kate read the sign. "Bowling Castle?" Kate hadn't gone bowling since she was a young girl when her parents went with her as chaperones on one of her early dates.

"Afraid of a little competition Beckett?" Castle was grinning.

"I am so going to make you suffer Castle." So that's how he wanted to play this. She was going to mop the floor with him!

Turned out it wasn't just a bowling lane. It had billiards and a dance floor upstairs. It also had VIP lanes that you could rent. They both found a ball they could use and headed for their two lanes and only two lanes.

Kate looked down the lane which was lined and lit up with neon lights. Red, pink and blue. Kate's confidence suddenly took a hit thinking all of these brightly colored lights were going to be a distraction. "We'll take a bottle of Grey Goose." Castle said to the guy who came by to take their orders.

Kate decided to wait to find out what Grey Goose was. "Vodka!?" Kate swallowed hard remembering the last time she had had vodka. Her head still hadn't recovered from those popsicles. Kate didn't know what to think of Castle possibly allowing her to drink, when on all the previous dates he wouldn't let her.

Kate was soon dancing back to sit down and watch Castle bowl every time she got a strike. Soon she was bouncing back followed by kissing Castle and pressing her tongue into his mouth. "You taste like vodka Castle." Kate giggled and sat down.

They only played two games with each winning once. From there they moved to billiards where Kate decided to play dirty and popped three of her buttons and bent way over to give Castle a view of the red bra that she was wearing. "You are a wicked woman Kate Beckett." Castle moaned into her ear as he passed her.

"I'm wearing the matching thong too Castle." Kate purred back as she passed by him, watching Castle fumble with his pool cue and drop the chalk cube. Kate was smiling wide as she just stood there swaying her hips back and forth watching Castle take his shot.

Kate won both games and kissed away the pout that was on his face.

After that they went upstairs where they danced until Kate could barely stand. They were sitting while trying to catch their breath. "How's the knee Castle?" Kate thought she saw some pain in his eyes.

"I'm fine." Castle answered back quickly, maybe just a little too quickly. "Castle?" Kate chastised him for his answer.

"It hurts a little. I shouldn't be putting it to use this much." Rick relented and told her the truth.

Kate resolved to kiss it better when they got home. The next two songs were slow and Kate dragged Castle out onto the dance floor for the first and stayed for the second. He allowed Kate to bury herself into his chest and just let him hold her. Happy that she loved him and he loved her back. Kate almost cursed when the next song wasn't another slow dance.

Still Kate figured it was time to go home and let Castle put some ice on his knee after she kissed it better, followed by kissing everywhere else on his body.