Elphaba forced herself to sleep on it. She desperately wanted to write to Dr. Dillamond then and there, in the silent library in the dead of night, but she made herself pack her bag and sneak back to Crage Hall. In the morning, she would read over everything again and make sure she wasn't missing something. Then she could write to Dillamond. But for now, she needed to sleep.

But sleep was easier said than done, and Elphaba's thoughts continued to race long after she curled up in her bed. She rolled over to face Glinda, hoping that the blonde's sleeping form would calm her down like always, but it was no use. Watching her roommate only seemed to increase her worries.

Not for the first time, she let herself wonder what would happen if she confided in Glinda. If the blonde knew about the research, about her letters to Dillamond, about the threat of not just Morrible, but the Wizard, too, what would she do? What would happen if she knew about the Animal safe houses throughout Oz, or about Peric and others like him, who travelled throughout the country doing everything they could for the Animals? The more Elphaba learned about the Animal bans, the more complicated and violent it all became. This was turning out to be less of a political issue, and more of the beginnings of war. A secret war, covered up and kept in the dark by the Wizard, but a war nonetheless. What would Glinda do if she realized that?

It frightened Elphaba that she had no idea. Would Glinda be fierce and loyal and passionate about it, like Elphaba was? How far would the blonde go to protect the green girl, to fight for her and with her? What would she sacrifice to stay by Elphaba's side? This wasn't some campus-wide reputation she would be leaving behind—it would be her whole life. Because more and more it seemed like Elphaba was preparing to give everything to this cause. Would Glinda be the same?

Or would she be frightened by it all? She hated violence, hated fighting. She doubted her own conviction, though Elphaba knew the blonde could be as passionate as she was. Would she want to stay with Elphaba, clinging to her side and demanding to go through this—whatever this was—with her? Or would she shake her head and back away, leaving the green girl to fight this battle on her own? Glinda knew better than anyone else why she was so passionate about the Animals' rights. But was that enough to stay with her?

Elphaba screwed her eyes shut and pressed her fist to her mouth, trying desperately to breathe. She didn't know which would be worse: Glinda staying with her and getting hurt, or Glinda getting scared and leaving her alone.

She wasn't sure why she was thinking of this tonight. Something just told her that everything was about to change. If her plan worked, and she and Dillamond could prove what they'd been trying for months to prove, what would happen next? How could they get the information out across Oz? Would Madame Morrible try to stop them? Would the Wizard? Would the other Animals get involved? Would Boq and Fiyero keep helping? And what would Elphaba do? Continue to write letters to Dillamond, doing research in shadowy corners of the library until she couldn't stay awake anymore? What else could she do when she was here at Shiz, with Morrible breathing down her neck?

It was too much to think about. She had no answers, only questions. Every single moment, from the day Dillamond had given her that journal, had boiled down to this instant, this discovery. She had poured herself into this research for months now. Through becoming friends with Glinda and everyone else, through being home and dealing with the Eminency, through all these weird feelings that caused her to either blush or get angry around Glinda—it was the one constant in her life. Now that she had the answer—because she was sure she had the answer—what would happen next?

She turned and shoved her face into the pillow, fighting with all her might not to cry out. For one absurd moment, she considered waking Glinda, just to feel the blonde's arms around her. Maybe that would quiet the sudden screaming in her head. But if she did that, then Glinda would ask questions, and Elphaba wasn't sure she could lie to her tonight. And she certainly wasn't ready to find out the blonde's reaction to all of this. Would she stay or would she leave me?

She would never be ready to find out.

Elphaba woke after only a few hours of sleep, but she didn't care. She was alert and determined from the moment she opened her eyes. No matter what happened next, it was time.

She crept out of bed and pulled out the notes she had finished last night. It only took her a few minutes to read through them, making minor adjustments and filling in holes that her exhausted brain hadn't seen last night. Then she was writing the letter to Dillamond. She told him about her idea, copying down all her notes and theories and equations that, a few months ago, would have soared over her head. She didn't dare tell him where she'd gotten the information about false sentience, but everyone knew about Morrible's tiktok creature. Dillamond would figure it out.

Glinda was still asleep by the time Elphaba dressed, stuck the letter in her bag, and slipped out of the room.

Elphaba spent the day focusing on her schoolwork. When she wasn't in a classroom, she was studying in the library. It wasn't that she had fallen behind in any classes—she wasn't even close to that—but it provided the perfect excuse to avoid Boq and Fiyero and, on one occasion, Morrible. The boys were worried and a bit offended by her silence the past few days, and the headmistress seemed far too confident every time she met Elphaba's eyes.

It was late that afternoon before she was able to send the letter. A small Robin was perched on a branch outside the library, peering through the window Elphaba was sitting by. After glancing around to make sure she was alone, she reached over and cracked the window open. The Robin flew down to the sill and cocked its head.

"Who are you?" Elphaba asked quietly. It had become a habit, a password of sorts, and always she received the same reply.

"Someone who owes Dillamond a favor."

Elphaba reached into her bag and pulled out the letter. The Robin snatched it from her fingers and disappeared before the green girl could say another word. She stared out the window long after the Bird was gone, wondering if she wanted to know what Dillamond's reply would be.

That night, she and Glinda ditched the boys and had dinner together in their room. They stayed up late, curled next to each other on Elphaba's bed, telling stories and secrets, laughing wildly and whispering softly. Their hips were touching and their shoulders bumped against each other and their fingers remained tangled together the entire time. There was a moment, after Glinda had said something teasing and Elphaba had tickled an apology out of her, that the blonde looked up at her roommate, eyes darting between her endless dark eyes and her smiling green lips. Both girls inched forward, and Glinda could feel Elphaba's breath, could smell the fresh strawberries they'd had with dinner…

Someone ran by in the hallway, their footsteps pounding, followed by the slamming of a door. The girls jerked back, breathing hard, suddenly reminded of a very real world that existed just outside their dorm room.

"It's getting late," Elphaba whispered, looking down at their clasped hands.

Glinda nudged her shoulder. "You never sleep anyway."

And just like that, the moment was gone. They went back to talking and laughing as they always had, discussing dreams and fears that they already knew about each other. Because that's what friends did, Elphaba reminded herself. They shared stories and secrets and maybe they held hands once in a while, but they did not lean in until they could smell the vanilla perfume lingering on the other's neck, and they certainly didn't stare at each other's soft lips, imagining, wondering how they would feel beneath her finger, beneath her own mouth…

But Elphaba couldn't scold herself for long. Their conversation left no room for awkwardness—they knew each other too well for that—and Glinda's hand never left her own, not for a second. If that was all that Elphaba could have, then she would gladly take it.

It was long past midnight by the time they fell into a comfortable silence, but tomorrow was Saturday, and they could stay like this all weekend, if they wanted. A while later, Elphaba realized that the blonde had fallen asleep on her shoulder. Without having the heart or even the tiniest bit of desire to move her to the other bed, Elphaba gently disentangled herself just long enough to lay them both down and pull a blanket over them. Glinda immediately curled up into Elphaba, and the green girl felt herself blush from head to toe.

She found Glinda's hand again and intertwined their fingers once more. She was asleep within minutes, her mind not even bothering to think about the letter she had sent out hours ago.

In fact, she hadn't thought of anything but her roommate all night long.

Elphaba didn't start to worry until around mid-morning.

She should have gotten a reply from Dillamond by now. He had all of yesterday evening, through the night, and this morning to send a letter back, yet she hadn't heard or seen anything. If something had happened to him, or even just to the letter she had sent…

Glinda spent most of the day watching Elphaba grow more and more anxious. Finally, when the green girl's pacing was just about to drive her insane, she grabbed her hand and coaxed her out of the room for dinner. It was a quiet meal, just the two of them in a corner of the café, and Elphaba said maybe two words the entire time, but at least she had stopped shaking.

As they made their way back to the room, Glinda tried to summon her courage. She wanted to ask what was wrong, but she wanted an answer other than just trust me. She didn't know what to do, or how to do it, just that she had to get the green girl to talk somehow.

In the end, she never had to figure it out.

Glinda unlocked the door and stepped through, Elphaba trailing a few steps behind her. She was about to turn and demand answers from her roommate, but something caught her eye, stopping her. It was large and dark, and it was flying right at her.

The blonde shrieked and ducked as the figure swooped over her. "Elphie!" she cried, trying to scramble to her feet.

Elphaba ran into the room and froze, her eyes widening. She looked at Glinda, then back at the figure, which had come to a halt and settled on the foot of her bed.

"Who are you?" The green girl's voice was a little shaky, but nowhere near as surprised as Glinda had expected.

The creature cocked its head and stared at her. Glinda realized, as it leaned forward and dropped a paper from its mouth, that it was a Bird of sorts. "Someone who owes Dillamond a favor." The Bird turned to look at Glinda, and the blonde was convinced she saw it smirk. "Sorry. Didn't mean to frighten."

It turned and hopped from the bed into the air, soaring out the window that Glinda swore had been closed when they left. She turned to Elphaba, who had snatched up the paper and was unfolding it with shaky fingers.

"W-what was that?"

Elphaba didn't respond. She was too busy with the letter, although she had read it through three times already. There was nothing but a number, a street name, and a single word:

Midnight.

"What do you mean, you're leaving?"

"Glinda, keep your voice down."

The blonde crossed her arms over her chest. "This is ridiculous! It's dark out, it's late, Morrible's been watching you, and you want to leave campus? Are you insane?"

Elphaba ignored her and continued stuffing papers into her bag. Glinda stepped closer. "Elphaba, listen to me. All this time I've respected your secrets. But this… That Bird knew Dr. Dillamond. You…you've been in contact with him, haven't you? You've been talking to Dillamond this whole time, and you never told me?"

"Not this whole time," Elphaba protested, refusing to look at her. "Just since winter break."

"So you've been keeping it a secret this entire semester?"

"I've been keeping a lot of secrets this entire semester."

The words stung. Glinda sat heavily on her bed. She didn't even know what Elphaba was up to, but everything inside of her was telling her not to let the green girl go. Her voice shook and she stared at her feet as she spoke. "I-I know, there's no point in asking this. But…I feel like this time…"

Elphaba turned toward her, voice soft. "Glinda. I've always asked you to trust me, and you have. If I could tell you everything, I would. But I can't."

The blonde nodded, sniffing. Elphaba shouldered her bag and pulled on her cloak, wrapping it tightly around herself. She stopped with her hand on the door and looked back at Glinda.

"I'll tell you this much: Dillamond is nearby, and I'm going to meet him. Yes, it's stupid and with Morrible acting the way she has lately, it's dangerous. But I have to do it. So, if anyone asks…"

Glinda was terrified. Her thoughts were running wild, bringing up images of all the horrible things that could happen if Elphie left. She pictured Morrible's cold gaze, the hard faces of the Gale Force, the terrors that came from scary stories she was told as a child—thoughts of shadows and blood and chilling screams and cold, empty bodies with glassy eyes that stared, unmoving…

"I'll cover for you," she heard herself say. Elphaba nodded and turned away. "Wait!"

She leapt from the bed and ran into the green girl's arms. Don't go! she wanted to scream, but the words wouldn't make it past her throat. She reached up and cupped an emerald cheek, her eyes meeting Elphaba's. She was scared, they both were, and Glinda found herself wondering how much would be different when Elphaba returned.

Glinda pressed herself closer to Elphaba and felt green arms wrap tighter around her, their eyes never breaking contact. She could do it, she knew. She should do it, because maybe then Elphaba would be guaranteed to come back safe and sound.

But she lost her nerve and pressed her forehead into Elphaba's shoulder, settling for inhaling her scent and trying to burn this feeling into her memory.

"I have to go," Elphaba whispered. Glinda nodded into her skin, holding on a moment longer before forcing herself to pull away. Elphaba reached out as the blonde stepped back, fingers reaching for her face, but then she lowered her arm and grabbed Glinda's hand instead. "I'll be back tomorrow morning."

"Be careful," Glinda whispered, staring down at their hands. Elphaba squeezed her fingers gently, then let her go.

Glinda couldn't bear to look up as she slipped quietly out of the rom. She stumbled back until her knees hit Elphaba's bed, forcing her to sit. She closed her eyes, imagining Elphaba's fingers between hers, her lips beneath her own. She should have done it. She shouldn't have been so afraid. But she was, and now Elphaba was gone, sneaking away from campus in the dead of night to meet with their fired teacher about illegal research.

She took a shaky breath and closed her eyes. She wouldn't sleep tonight. Not while Elphaba was gone.

Please, Elphie. Come back to me soon.