Chapter the Eleventh, in Which We Visit Not Long Ago, in a Country Far Away.
The action of this chapter flashes back to around the time of the logging camp's first incursion, and begins to explain some of a character's back story. If you've been following the tale you will probably know who he is by now anyway. I am not a military man, so any mistakes about deployment, tactics etc. are mine, not those of Major Blouse. He had clearly mastered the profession of arms by the end of 'Monstrous Regiment.'
The valley of the River Kneck was one of the most militarized on the Disc. Thanks to Vetinari, in this reality at least, it was also currently one of the most peaceful.
The intermittent Borogravian War of Succession had been settled (for now) by the Quirmian Accords (1) brokered by Lord Vetinari, who was keen that Ankh – Morpork should not become a belligerent in those wars again.
Prince Heinrich of Zlobenia had agreed to renounce his claim to the throne of Borogravia in favour of the issue of Contessa Annagovia, as yet unmarried great – niece of the presumed deceased Grand Duchess Annagovia. (2) In the meantime General Froc would remain the de facto ruler of Borogravia in the name of the Grand Duchess.
Another outcome of the Accords was the Kneck Special Administrative Zone, a ten mile wide militarized area more or less centred on the treacherous and ever changing course of the River Kneck. As a disputed border region other negotiators might have favoured a demilitarized zone (3) but Vetinari had decided to something about both countries maintaining large armies for their size, and taming the region's inherent bellicosity.
A river that changes course a lot causes a lot of flooding.
An army consists of a lot of fit and active soldiers capable of physically demanding work.
Flood relief and building flood defences is physically demanding work.
To avoid the usual squabbles investing such an area with rival armies would cause, the area was under the governance of a civil administrator appointed by Lord Rodley of Quirm. (4) The administrator had insisted on soldiers working as detachments of mixed units, half Borogravian, half Zlobenian. Their dialects were a close match, so understanding each other wasn't a major issue.
The odd drunken brawl was an issue. Single men in barracks don't grow into plaster saints, even when at least a third of them are women. (5)
To avoid having a divided command they ultimately answered to engineering officers sent out from Ankh – Morpork, who answered in their turn to the administrator and his team. Their brief was to tame the river, relieve civilians affected by floods and improve local infrastructure. (6)
The administration made intensive use of both front line and administrative military assets. It kept both armies fully busy doing something useful and when keen minds have something to occupy their attention they are less easily distracted by other things. (7)
This meant Johann Blouse, now a substantive major of the Ins - and - Outs, was kept busy as an inspector of works, doing far more paperwork than you might expect of a career soldier.
He had also now been married to Emmeline for some years as the promotion had boosted his pay, improving his position to the point that their Understanding could now be fully Understood. Being a practical woman she had taken the trouble to rectify certain deficiencies in his education. He could now shave and dress himself. She found his rigorous insistence on doing a share of the laundry baffling. Especially the ironing. And the way he did it. (7a)
Even with such large numbers of soldiers present and plenty of well - fed paid work available as one of them, there were still men desperate enough (or simply stupid enough) to resort to banditry. Atrocities even.
That sort of thing could derail the Accords, so reports of such activities needed prompt investigation. By people who could deal with situations.
That was how Major Blouse had found himself in command of a patrol of Heavy Dragoons, tasked with looking into garbled reports of bandit activity near an old stone circle not far from his current inspection purview. The patrol could also see smoke rising from beyond a screen of trees that currently masked their view of the stones. Then their scouting party returned.
'Trooper Schmidt, report to the officer !'
Something was up. Something bad. Sergeant Zbigliev would have usually reported their findings, but looked as if he was struggling not to be sick.
'Ten men in rags, beads and feathers, sir. Weapons appear to be rudimentary. I have to report signs of them having committed an atrocity against about twenty civilians and at least two soldiers. I can't be more precise due to what looks like happened to them.'
Schmidt was coherent but she didn't seem in much better shape than the sergeant.
Blouse had encountered a similar though smaller atrocity before. This time he had a chance to bring to punishment those responsible.
The woods provided excellent cover to marshal his troops into position for a 'shock and awe' cavalry charge against the bandits. He was careful to order them to take at least one prisoner for interrogation.
Lord Rose Hip was pleased. The villagers they'd ambushed in the fields had proven easy prey once subjected to Glamour. He only wished the fun could have lasted longer. Especially with the ones who had borne iron weapons and tried to bring down even Elves.
He turned towards the sound of thundering hooves. So did the others. At first they brightened up at the thought of more fun and games. (9)
They realized with horror what was coming at them.
Glamour doesn't work against a soldier with his helmet on.
These soldiers had their helmets and armour on, knew their business and were highly motivated to deal with the situation. It was only going to end one way.
It did.
(1)Referring to the Paris Accords per the Vietnam War in the 1970s. Another unstable situation.
(2)To whom he was now assiduously paying court. He was bright enough to join the dots.
(3)Check out the halves of Korea and Cyprus to see why Vetinari wanted to go the other way.
(4)Vetinari's idea (and place man,) but he didn't want to look like he was meddling too much.
(5)See Sir Terry's Monstrous Regiment for the origins of Borogravia recruiting female soldiers.
(6)Given the treacherous river, that meant building a lot of it from scratch.
(7)Such as exciting top secret plans for invading neighbouring countries.
(7a)Major Blouse now needed no batman, but didn't have the heart to stop his units assigning them.
(9)You wouldn't have wanted to play. Trust me on this.