No tip?" She stared at him, face carefully blank, for ten whole seconds before the grin broke onto her face. At his shocked expression, she snickered.

Severus had to clench his jaw to keep his mouth from dropping open. She was teasing him? Two could play that game. He stalked to the potion cabinet and quickly selected the one he was looking for, then tossed it to her. She caught it one handed and looked at the label. Contraceptive potion. "As per our earlier arrangement," he added. She shrugged, drank the potion down, and then went to loiter in the kitchen.

"You know, that contract says you have to provide me with food. I think the least you can do is feed me now that I've held up my end of the bargain."

Severus raised one raven brow. "I find it hard to believe that Madam Peony served as personal chef to you and your...coworkers."

"Well, no. Mostly we cooked for ourselves and she just bought the food. But the one time she had sex with me she did make me breakfast."

"The one time she what?"

"Sex. You know," she made a circle with the thumb and index finger of her right hand and mimed sex by poking the index finger of her left hand in and out. Severus just stared at her. "You cook, I'll talk. How about that?"

"I suppose this story might be worth my efforts," he admitted, going to his cupboards as she settled onto a stool at the counter. As he prepared bangers, toast, beans, and eggs, she told him about Madam Peony taking the potion that changed her into a man and testing Hermione's abilities. He was setting the food on the table when she finished. "I'll admit, that was not what I had in mind when I created that potion, but I can see the practicality."

"You created that potion?"

"Of course. You know I supplied all the potions to the brothel."

"Yes, but I thought...I don't know. Maybe she'd picked it up in Knockturn Alley or something? I've never heard of anything like it before."

"Nor would you have. It's not marketed. No one but me knows how to make it, which means no one can supply it but me. Which also means I can charge whatever I want for it," he added cunningly.

"How in the world did you come up with it? I can't even imagine creating a whole new potion."

"Probably much the way you would create a spell. Intuition, creativity, and quite a lot of trial and error."

"Please tell me you used yourself as the test subject," she giggled, imagining him half man and half woman.

"Certainly not," he growled in mock severity. "Of course I do personally test all of my finished potions at least once for quality control."

Hermione howled with laughter, trying to picture Severus as a woman. Each image her mind conjured was more outrageous than the last. "I'll bet you were gorgeous," she said between bouts of giggling. "Long limbs, soft black hair, dark eyes."

"As a matter of fact, I was rather beautiful." She laughed more and he found his own lips twitching in response.

"Oh, S, I would have paid money to see that!" She cleared the last bits of juice off her plate with a piece of toast and popped it into her mouth, still smiling while she chewed. When she looked up, Severus was no longer smiling at their banter. He looked...stricken. She thought quickly about what she'd just said, trying to figure out what would have- oh. "Severus, I mean." They had been joking so casually, she'd slipped back into the old nickname. "Sorry."

"Its fine," he finally said, trying to sort out his feelings. "I, too, find myself thinking of you as H this morning." The admission left him confused. Ever since he'd found out her true identity, he'd been unable to comprehend the two women being one and the same. As they'd talked, though, the person he'd come to know so well in the last months had shone through.

Feeling bold and in control, Hermione rose from her chair and rounded the table towards him. She plucked an uneaten banger from his plate and swung one leg over his knees to settle onto his lap facing him. Then she took a healthy bite of the sausage and chewed. He swallowed reflexively. "I think we will find that if we just relax and trust each other a bit, Severus and Hermione can have the same rapport that S and H had."

"You seem-" he stopped lest his voice crack when she wiggled her hips and took another bite of the banger. He cleared his throat and tried again. "You seem to not be bothered by the reality of who we are." She shrugged, popped the last bite into her mouth and reached behind her to snag his toast. "And your appetite is apparently voracious."

"Oh you know the saying, 'work like a dog, eat like a horse.'" She pushed back until she slid off his lap and eyed the rest of his eggs. When he gestured for her to take them, she put his plate on top of her empty one and continued to eat.

"Actually, I am not familiar with that particular saying."

Hermione swallowed and raised her brows as she thought. "Maybe it's a whorehouse saying."

"How can you be so...cavalier about all this?"

"Because it's better than being bitter." With the last of the food gone, she pushed the plates away. "I made my peace with my choices a long time ago. That doesn't mean that there aren't a lot of dark aspects of my life, or that I don't wish things could be different. But beating around the bush or trying to sugarcoat reality won't help. Yes, I have times where it seems like the world is crashing down around me and I feel utterly defeated. But in between those moments, I see no sense in wasting time on regrets."

Suddenly, the swift changes in her attitude made sense to him. He'd seen her at times when she felt beaten and hopeless. But he'd also seen her be nearly clinical in the way she spoke of whoring, casual in her stories of the brutalities she'd suffered, and even enjoying her work when she was able. She had the truly unique ability to live wholly in the present. How he envied her that ability. Her emotions ran high and hard- both the good and the bad- but when they were done, she was ready to move on. He, by contrast, couldn't help but keep his with him. Regrets, bitterness, sadness, anger, all baggage he carried with him wherever he went.

"So, now that we are both in a better mood, and perhaps understand one another a little more, let's talk about my future. And by the way, I never assumed you would want to pass me around to your friends. You came up with that nasty idea all on your own."

"Perhaps I am simply used to people assuming the worst of me."

"Alright, I can see how that might be true. But for future reference, I try and see the best in people. Even you. I'd have thought that the years I spent trying to defend you to Harry and Ron would make that clear."

He wrinkled his sharp nose in distaste. "Please refrain from reminding me that the woman I just fucked on my couch is the same little girl to whom I had to mete out detentions."

"Does that really bother you so much?"

"That I've known you since you were a child? That you were a student of mine? Yes. In all the time I've been hated and ridiculed, I've managed to not be seen as a lecher or nonce. Your age and past relations with me make me feel like both."

Hermione laughed. "My age? Severus, I'm twenty seven. And I hate to point this out, but you've likely taught most of the adult women in Great Britain by now. If you hold yourself to that standard, you'll never get laid."

"Hence taking my sexual appetites to a brothel in Ireland," he explained with a casual wave of his hand.

"Well let me reassure you then. You're what- forty five?"

"Forty seven."

"You're not the oldest customer I ever serviced. Not by half. Literally." She laughed when he grimaced. "And the fact that once upon a time you were my teacher doesn't make you a pervert or a nonce. If you wanted me to wear my school robes while you fucked me, that would be a little kinky, but-"

"Are you trying to make me vomit what little of my breakfast I managed to eat?"

"No. But you see my point. So lets put those facts aside while we are figuring out what we are going to do, shall we?"

"As you wish," he inclined his head to her in concession.

"So earlier, you mentioned me getting a job. I know there isn't anything in my contract that specifically prohibits me from having a secondary vocation, so having a way to earn money to put towards buying out my contract would certainly be welcome. If you're fine with it, I can start looking today."

"I am."

"Then onto this," she gestured between them. "Do you have any thoughts on how we should proceed?"

"None."

"How helpful," she quipped. "Alright then, how much would you say you earned from providing to Madam Peony's in the course of a month prior to setting up an exchange with her?"

Severus thought for a moment, then tallied up the sums in his head. "In a month, close to seven hundred Galleons."

"And how much of a discount did she get after your arrangement?"

"Twenty percent."

"Then basically you were paying around 150 Galleons a month plus tips, for unlimited access."

"More or less."

"Well the last flat I rented cost thirty Galleons a month, and normally I spent around twenty on food. So the way I see it, even with you keeping to the house terms of the contract, resuming our original arrangement is a good deal for both of us."

"Oh?" he said noncommittally.

"Aside from what you'll lose in potions specifically for me, you'll save almost a hundred Galleons a month. And with only one customer to keep satisfied, I'll have plenty of time to work a full time job. Combine that with what I've already got saved and I could easily buy out my contract in a year and a half."

Severus was a fair mathematician but even he struggled to keep up with her instant calculations. She was right, though. On paper, it was a deal that befitted both of them. But that didn't necessarily mean it would work.

"And you have no objection to spending the next year and a half 'keeping me satisfied'?"

"I'll be honest enough with you to admit that I'd rather be living under my own roof, providing for my own needs, and not beholden to anyone. But all things considered, this is the best situation I could possibly hope for. I know your appetites and they aren't anything I can't handle. The fact that I won't have to be taking strangers to my bed is enough to make me happy no matter what the other terms of our contract are. Plus, I can buy out the contract far faster this way than I ever could have hoped to while at the brothel."

The way she said it, so brusk and businesslike, made it easy to believe everything would simply fall into place. So why did he still think she couldn't possibly mean it?

"The idea of being the personal whore to your ex potions professor truly doesn't bother you."

"That's not how I'd suggest introducing me to people, but no, it doesn't. I got myself into this mess, and I take responsibility for my actions. The fact that you came along was one of the greatest strokes of luck I've had in years. I'm grateful for how much you are helping me."

Helping her? Hell, he still felt as if he was somehow taking advantage... "And you're not expecting me to suddenly change the way I act towards you? The things I do to you?"

"I'm a realist, not an idealist. I'm not expecting you to change, and I think you know better than to expect me to change at all, either."

There was a long pause as Severus let all of what she'd said sink in. He'd woken up that morning thinking she was going to have to get a well paying job to get the hell out of his house and his life as soon as possible- before he went mad with sexual frustration. Now, he'd just made the deal of a lifetime and had ended up with the woman who'd spent the last three months servicing his every sexual whim as his personal fuck toy. It wasn't until that moment, when he finally had her all to himself, that he realized he'd been jealous of every other man she'd touched. That was all done with, though. She was his alone. To use however he pleased, whenever he pleased. Even though he'd just gotten off, his cock twitched at the very thought.

"Very well then. I believe the term commonly used is, 'you've got a deal.'" He rose and held out his hand to her. Her lips twitched in amusement at his seriousness, but she dutifully rose and shook his hand.

"Good. Well, on that note, I do need to buy some clothes and go out looking for a job."

Severus tipped his head to the side. "Contrary to what I said earlier, I was under the impression I was required to supply all your clothing. Part of the contract along with lodging and food."

"Well technically, yes. But when I was thinking I would be able to buy out my contract from Madam Peony, I had money set aside for buying clothing and other necessities when I was on my own again. I'll just use some of that money and then take them with me when I leave."

"I'm sure you're aware that magical contracts can have nasty side effects if broken. Let's not push our luck by trying to sidestep a clear provision, shall we? I can simply purchase what you like and since I will have no need of women's clothing once our time together is done, you will be free to take them with you."

"I don't expect you to-"

"I am still saving a hundred Galleons a month with the new terms of our arrangement, remember? Unless your tastes run towards the extravagant, I doubt you'll spend more than what I'm already saving." She looked like she might still try to argue, so he narrowed his eyes at her and adopted his most commanding tone. "Now stop wasting time with senseless excuses and make yourself presentable to go out." He turned to put on his boots and she stuck out her tongue at him. "I saw that," he growled. Hermione blushed, then laughed.

"Serves you right!" While he put on his boots she piled her copious hair onto her head in a bun and secured it with her wand. Then she tightened the string on the pyjama pants and tucked her nightshirt into them. It wasn't much, but it was the best she could do under the circumstances. When Severus turned back, she was waiting by the door patiently. He looked her over, from the sensuously tumbled curls on the top of her head to her glaringly bare toes. It wouldn't do at all. With a sigh, he accioed a white linen shirt, black trousers, and his spare pair of boots from his closet.

"Here," he said, holding them out to her. She looked from the clothes he held from the clothes she wore and shrugged. He was probably right. Even five sizes too big, his clothes were far more presentable than the nightclothes. Without bothering to try and shield her nudity from him, she stripped off her clothing. Of its own accord, a low rumble of approval escaped Severus' throat. She only flashed him a cheeky grin and slipped into the new outfit. Once all the buttons had been fastened, she realized there was no way in hell she was going to be able to go out in it. He was slim, and she was curvy, but the waist of the trousers still sagged dangerously, the shirtsleeves were five inches past her hands, and the boots were the size of clown shoes on her. Before she could start to take them back off, though, he pointed his wand at them.

"Scissora." The pants hemmed themselves up several inches and in at the waist. Darts stitched along the front seams of the shirt and the sleeves shortened till they were at her wrists. The shoes shrank to fit her feet and grew a small heel. When the spell was done, she was wearing a respectable looking outfit and staring at him in open-mouthed shock. "It won't last," he admitted, uncomfortable with her staring at him.

"This is precision work," she said, enormously impressed at his skill. Transfiguring clothing was notoriously difficult. She remembered fondly the time Ron had attempted to transfigure his dress robes for the Yule Ball. He'd only succeed in fraying the edges of the hideous robes. Severus shrugged and opened the door, ushering her out before him. Outside, he stopped once more and pulled something out of his pocket, handing it to her wordlessly.

It was a hair tie. She took it, but stared at him curiously once more. When it became clear she wasn't going to go any further without an explanation, he attempted to wave her away casually but she could see he was embarrassed. "They keep my hair from my eyes while I brew."

"Ah," was all she said. Then she pulled her wand from her hair, fitted it against her forearm, tapped it to cloak it, and wound the band around her hair to hold it in place. She tried to imagine what Severus would look like with his hair pulled back and couldn't. She'd pushed it out of his face many times when they'd had sex, but it had never been his real face she'd seen. Perhaps sometime he would allow her to observe one of his brewing sessions...

He held out his arm to her and they Apparated to a small shopping district in Kent. Though she wouldn't have objected, Hermione was glad he hadn't taken her to Diagon Alley. She was likely to see people she knew unless she put on an anonymity charm, and though she wasn't ashamed to be seen with Snape, it would be easier if they didn't have to answer questions about the nature of their relationship.