Chapter 8
Payson woke up Monday morning, eager to get back to training. The exhibition had shown her that even though she and Kelly were the best gymnasts the US had, the others weren't far behind and she couldn't afford to rest on her laurels.
"Morning," Payson said as she shuffled into the kitchen and went for the fridge.
"Payson…"
Payson's stomach dropped at the tone in her mother's voice. She turned around and saw both her parents sitting in the living room, staring at the television. It was muted, but the story was clear: ESPN was reporting a scandal between her and Sasha. A short video of them dancing at the reception played over the screen.
"Oh my God," Payson muttered, unable to tear her eyes away. The screen switched to show Erin Andrews at the news desk. The bottom of the screen read: ROCK SCANDAL REDUX.
"Payson, is there something you need to tell us?" Mark asked. Payson heard the quiver in his voice. He was pissed. Not just pissed, but furious.
"No!" Payson nearly shouted. "There were a bunch of coaches dancing with their athletes and Sasha and I were the only Rock people who weren't dancing. It was totally innocent."
"Honey, that doesn't look like a coach dancing with his athlete; that looks like a man dancing with a woman," Kim said softly, her hand resting on Mark's arm, restraining him. "Can you understand why it concerns us?"
"I can Mom, I totally can, but I promise you there's nothing to worry about. The video only shows part of it, I mean Sasha danced with Kelly too, why didn't they show that? And I danced with Austin, why isn't the story that he's cheating on Kaylie with me? The only reason anyone is making a big deal about it is because of that stupid video Lauren leaked," Payson growled.
"Pay, you know that we love Sasha but…"
"Sasha did nothing wrong! Mom, Dad, seriously, there's nothing going on. Please believe me," Payson begged. Her heart was thudding hard against her ribcage and she felt her lungs shrinking, making it harder and harder to breathe. She waited, watching as her mom and dad traded a look, communicating silently the way she and Sasha did all the time.
"Okay, sweetie, we trust you," Kim relented, even though she didn't look convinced. Payson breathed a sigh of relief.
"Good. Now I have to get to the Rock. See you at dinner," Payson said. She grabbed a protein shake and her bag, and moved towards the front door.
"Hold on, Pay, I'll drive you." Kim gave Mark a quick kiss and then grabbed her purse and her keys. Payson knew that even though her mom had relented, the conversation wasn't over.
As soon as they opened the front door, Payson was blinded by camera flashes. Reporters shouted questions at her and pressed forward, crowding around her and Kim as they tried to get to the car.
"Payson! Are you and Sasha having an affair?" One shouted. Payson felt her mom's hand on her back, pushing her forward. If she hadn't been, Payson wasn't sure she would be able to move. Her entire body was frozen in shock.
"Just keep your head down, honey," Kim demanded. She ushered Payson into the car, shutting the door, before turning to the reporters.
"Get off my lawn, or my husband will be out with his gun," Kim growled. They didn't need to know Mark didn't actually have a gun.
Payson was silent on the ride to the Rock. She couldn't believe that in one day things had spun so drastically out of control. MJ was going to have a fit. Sasha could lose his job. She could lose her spot on the National Team.
"Pay?" Kim asked, halfway to the gym.
"Yeah?"
"Now that your dad isn't around…what's really going on between you and Sasha? I trust that Sasha didn't do anything wrong but sweetie, do you still have feelings for him? The way you were looking at him, I just can't help but wonder."
Payson sighed. She might as well tell her mom at least part of the truth.
"Yes, I still have feelings for Sasha. He's just been so good to me, I can't help it." Kim reached over for her hand, squeezing her fingers.
"Sasha's a very likeable guy, honey, but you need to put some distance between the two of you. At least in public, okay?" Payson nodded, feeling a hard knot twist in her stomach. She didn't want to put space between them.
There was a sea of reporters outside the Rock as well, and it was a mad dash to get Payson inside without being accosted by one of them. Spots swam in front of her eyes from the camera flashes.
"Payson! Kim, are the two of you okay?" Sasha asked, hurrying down the steps from the office. His forehead was knit in a frown and Payson wanted nothing more than to kiss the worry lines away.
"We're fine, Sasha. Are you?" Kim asked in full on mother mode. She reached out for Sasha's arm, giving it a squeeze.
"I'm fine, nothing I haven't dealt with before. Kim, do you mind if I speak with Payson privately for a moment?" Sasha asked. Kim hesitated for an instant before nodding and stepping out of the way.
"Of course, Sasha."
Sasha gestured for Payson to go first and then followed her up the stairs and back into the office, shutting the door behind them.
"I'm so sorry," Payson blurted. "I'm so, so sorry."
"Shh, Payson, iubito, it's okay. You have nothing to apologize for. If anything this is my fault, you tried to tell me it wasn't a good idea," Sasha reminded her. He reached for her hand, holding it loosely.
"Still, if I hadn't kissed you before, if the video hadn't gotten out, then no one would have been paying any attention to us," Payson groused.
"Never apologize for that Payson," Sasha insisted. His eyes were intense, burning into hers. She sighed.
"Sasha, what are we going to do?"
#
Training that day was an absolute circus, and it was wearing on Sasha's nerves. The gymnasts were in a frenzy, distracted every time the doors opened and an explosion of sound forced its way in. The reporters were camped out in the parking lot, barraging anyone who came near the doors with question after question about his relationship with Payson.
He knew this day would come. The first time he kissed her, the day she found out about Lauren, he knew that it could only lead to this exact situation. And it was his fault. He should have been stronger.
"I'm heading home, Sasha," Payson said, sticking her head into the office. There were still some gymnasts hanging around, Payson probably wouldn't be staying late for a while, but for some reason he was worried about her going outside and facing all those reporters. She shouldn't have to deal with any of it.
"Your mom already went home," Sasha said. Payson smiled.
"I know, Kelly's giving me a ride," Payson said. He nodded at her, hating that he was just going to let her walk out into the lion's den. There was really no choice though; if he took her home the reporters would just spin that to their own gain.
"Goodnight, then. See you tomorrow."
He wanted so badly to kiss her goodbye. She was never more beautiful to him than when she'd spent the entire day training; there was a flush to her cheeks, a shine in her eyes. She was gorgeous. But he couldn't do that. From now on, he had to be very careful around her.
"See you tomorrow," she said, and he thought he heard a bit of disappointment in her voice.
The night dragged on after Payson left. Sasha stayed in the office, trying to avoid the mass of reporters for as long as possible with menial paperwork that he usually avoided like the plague. Finally, he couldn't stand it anymore, he needed to go home and have a large glass of Scotch. He needed to stop thinking about Payson.
Grabbing his keys, Sasha turned off all the lights, locked the doors, and slipped out the back door. Apparently the reporters were too stupid to have figured out that he parked behind the building, because the lot was deserted.
Sighing in relief, he climbed into the cab of his truck and headed for home. He shuddered, thinking about it as home. The last time Sasha felt at home somewhere, his mother was alive and it was her tiny little cottage that had been his sanctuary. The apartment he lived in now was just a place. He supposed that really, if he was thinking about home, it was the Rock. It was where he spent most of his time, where he felt comfortable and safe, and where he fell in love with Payson. The gym was his home, not the little apartment where he slept.
Lost in thought, Sasha found himself taking the long way back to the apartment, which conveniently took him the same route Payson liked to run in the evenings. Part of him felt a little like a stalker, driving the same roads he knew she ran at the time she usually ran them, but he was compelled to do it by something he couldn't name.
The streetlights were just starting to come on when he noticed flashing lights up the block. They weren't the red and blue lights of emergency vehicles, they were bright white. And they were coming from a mob of people.
Something deep inside Sasha twisted and he felt his heart jump into his throat as he pressed harder on the gas pedal.
Sure enough, Payson was in the middle of a sea of paparazzi. He could see, even as he threw the truck into park and jumped out, the look of mounting panic on her face. She had stopped running and was looking for a way out, but the paparazzi wouldn't let her pass.
"Hey!" Sasha called out. Some of the photographers scattered, but still others looked like they just won the lottery. The man nearest him lifted the camera to take a picture, but Sasha ripped it away.
"Sasha!" Payson cried.
"Get in the truck Payson," Sasha growled, staring down the paparazzi. Payson hesitated and then ran to the truck.
Sasha waited until she was safely inside and then threw the expensive camera to the ground and stomped down as hard as he could. He heard the lens shatter.
"Stay away from Payson Keeler."
#
Things were getting out of control. After Sasha saved Payson from the paparazzi, he drove her home. Then they both sat through an hour long lecture from Kim and Mark. Now, Payson was walking into the Rock with the hood of her sweatshirt pulled low over her face and her parents flanking her on either side. Flashbulbs exploded in her face. Interest had to die down eventually, didn't it?
"Why are they still hounding us?" Payson asked when the door had closed behind them and nothing she said could be used as a sound bite.
"Because no one's made a statement yet," said the clipped British accent that could only belong to her agent.
"MJ, when did you get here?" Payson asked. MJ did not look happy; her arms were crossed over her chest, her foot tapping impatiently against the carpet, her eyes narrowed. Sasha stood behind her, looking more than a little apprehensive.
"This morning. I took a red eye, and I'm very tired and very irritable, so you and Sasha are going to talk with me in the office and then we're going to issue a statement and pray to God the media will drop this issue before the American Cup in two months," MJ said through her teeth. Payson heart jumped. Two months? She was hoping they would drop the issue in two months? Payson's heart sank. She and Sasha had really screwed things up.
"Come on," Sasha said quietly, gesturing up towards the office. Payson followed him and MJ like she was marching off to her death.
As soon as the door closed, MJ exploded.
"What the bloody hell were you thinking, Belov?" she shouted. Payson saw Sasha's shoulders stiffen and wondered if she was about to see one of the fights he and MJ had been so famous for once upon a time.
"What do you mean?" Sasha asked, his jaw clenched but his voice light. MJ glared.
"I mean, falling in love with your gymnast and then showing it to the whole world! It was bad enough before but now…"
"What do you mean, falling in love with my gymnast?" Sasha snapped.
"Sasha," Payson muttered. Somehow, MJ knew. Payson didn't know how, but it didn't matter. She knew.
"Please, Belov. I've seen the way you look at someone when you're in love with them, and the way you were looking at Payson was ten times more intense than the way you ever looked at me or any of the other women. You two are together, aren't you?" MJ demanded. Payson's heart hammered in her chest. She knew that Sasha loved her, but he'd never said it, and she wasn't sure she wanted the first time he admitted it to be in front of MJ.
"No," Sasha said quickly. Payson breathed a sigh of relief and shrugged.
"Not really. Not officially anyway," Payson explained. MJ snorted.
"You're together enough. Listen, I'm going to give a statement to the press and do as much damage control as I can, but you two had better be careful. No more dancing at public events, got it?" MJ snapped.
Payson looked at Sasha, their eyes locking for the briefest moment. Together they nodded.
"Got it," Payson muttered.
"Thank you MJ," Sasha said, standing up and moving for the door.
#
Payson sat in the middle of her bed, chewing her nails. MJ's statement worked wonders with the press, even though all she said was that the relationship between coach and athlete was hard to understand but that there was nothing inappropriate going on, and they ate it up. They disappeared from Payson's front lawn and from outside the Rock, she hadn't laid eyes on a single paparazzi all day.
Life was back to normal. Except it wasn't. Sasha came so close to losing his job, and they shouldn't have to rely on MJ to save the day every time one of them stepped out of bounds. They weren't even really together, they shouldn't be stepping out of bounds at all.
"Honey," Kim said, knocking lightly on the door and pushing it open. "You okay?"
"Yeah, Mom. I'm just thinking about going for a run," Payson said.
"Pay, it's nine o'clock. Do you really need to go for a run?"
"I've just got a lot of energy and I can't sit around here," Payson said. She stood, shoving her feet into sneakers and tying the laces.
"Just, take your cell phone okay? And be careful," Kim said, sighing. Payson smiled tightly at her mom and grabbed her keys and cell phone.
"Got it, Mom."
Payson ran all the way to Sasha's front door. He answered before she could knock twice.
"Payson," he said. He actually sounded a little surprised.
"Hey. Can I come in?" Payson asked. Sasha stepped aside to let her in and then closed the door behind her.
"Are you okay?" Sasha asked. He came up behind her, settling his hands on her shoulders and pulling her back against his chest. She sighed and relaxed into him.
Tears welled in her eyes and she turned, wrapping her arms around his waist and hugging him tightly. She buried her face in his chest, inhaling the scent of him; the perfect mix of man and chalk. He sifted a hand through her hair while the other flexed against her back.
"Payson," he whispered against her ear. She shivered.
"We can't do this anymore," Payson said, her voice thick with tears. She didn't want to say the words, didn't want to mean them, and she definitely didn't want them to be true. What she wanted was to spend all night in Sasha's arms and forget the outside world.
"I know. It's too dangerous," Sasha said, his face buried in her neck. He brushed his lips back and forth against her skin, and it made her stomach flutter.
"Way too dangerous. You almost lost your job," Payson said. She pressed a kiss to the only patch of skin she could reach, a spot just beneath his jaw. She felt his muscles clench beneath her fingers.
"You almost lost your career," he whispered.
"Sasha…" those three little words she wanted to say so badly got stuck in her throat. She couldn't say them knowing that they were over. They hadn't even really begun.
"I know, Payson. I know."
"How are we going to stay away from each other?" She asked. She felt a hot tear streaking down her cheek. Sasha pulled back enough so that he could look her in the eye. His hands came up to cup her face, the pads of his thumbs stroking back and forth across her cheeks.
"We're strong, iubito, we can do it." He kissed her then, soft and hesitant for the briefest moment before it seemed like he couldn't hold back any longer. His tongue traced the seam of her lips, sweeping inside as soon as she granted him entrance. She gasped around his lips, holding tightly to his shoulders as she swayed backwards, lightheaded.
Sasha's hands were everywhere; in her hair, at her back, hitching her thigh around his waist. Payson couldn't keep up, her brain was so confused. She felt him everywhere, couldn't isolate his touch for even one second.
"Sasha," she breathed, her entire body shuddering as Sasha's hands slipped up beneath her shirt, tracing the skin of her hips, following the gentle swell of them.
And then her shirt was gone, and so was his.
"What…what are we doing?" Payson stammered. Sasha's hands stilled, splayed across her stomach.
"Saying goodbye," Sasha whispered.
He was still, so still Payson thought for a moment time had stopped. She traced his face, his cheekbones and his jaw, across his collarbone to the little hollow at the base of his throat. She had no idea what he meant by saying goodbye, no idea how far she would let the night take them, but she knew she needed him. Needed to feel him close to her.
She reached up on her toes and pressed her lips to his.
#
Sasha watched Payson working on the floor, running through her tumbling passes time and time again. He could see how frustrated she was; it was in the set of her shoulders, in the way she stomped around and planted her hands and feet a little harder than necessary on her passes. She was sad too.
So was he.
"Morning Sasha," Kim said cheerily as she came into the office. Sasha nodded, but said nothing. He saw Kim frown. "I know I asked you this before and you said no, but…Sasha can I please set you up with someone? Payson's old babysitter Kristen just moved back home to take care of her mom, she could really use a distraction."
Sasha sighed. He didn't want to date anyone, he wanted to be with Payson, but he couldn't very well say that to Kim. And he knew that keeping his distance would be a lot easier if he and Payson were seeing other people.
Payson's gaze locked with his for an instant before she threw herself into another tumbling pass.
"Sure, Kim. You can set us up."
A/N: Thanks for the reviews poppetrussell, mariskamagdolinah, Katherine temperance, Kiwiflea, JTellersOldLady, JacenLukeSolo, LauraW89, flowerchild3286, DarkMoon2222, Kayla, and Kissin Concern. You guys rock.
Now, a note of clarification because I know I left it open ended, but Payson and Sasha did NOT sleep together. I promise when they do, you'll know it.
I also know that you all probably hate me for what I did in this chapter, and the next few chapters will not be easy, but hang in there. It will be worth it.
Review please!