Chapter 11: Into the Minds of Strangers

Riley

It's a strange concept; walking into a stranger's home. It's like getting a sneak preview into their world before getting to know anything about them. It's also a dangerous concept; It leads you into assuming things about them that might not necessarily be true. Things that make you imagine the worst, or avoid thinking of the best. After that, it's up to you to decide what is real and what simply is not.

"This is where you live?" I stared up at the chandelier in the entryway of the Haynes' family apartment and tried not to let my mouth hang open. I was sure that everything in this one room cost more than our entire apartment and everything in it combined.

"Only on weeknights," Jensen joked, winking at me as he crossed the room to turn on the lights in the dining room.

"Oh my God, is that a coffee bar? You have a coffee bar in your apartment?" Now I was sure that I was drooling.

"We have an on-call barista who is usually here from 7am-11am on weekdays, but I can ask her to come in now if you want something. She can make you whatever you want," Jensen offered, already pulling out his phone to dial the barista's number.

"No, no, I'm okay. I'm just... Wow, you have an amazing apartment," I complimented him, taking in the state-of-the-art appliances and electronics. The entire place was put together so perfectly - too perfectly. It was like they wanted people to see how perfect their home was, to distract from what was buried beneath the surface.

"I'm afraid that I can't take credit for any of this, but I'll pass on the compliments to the parentals," Jensen ran a hand through his hair and took an annoyed breath. "This apartment is their pride and joy. Unlike their son, the royal screw-up," Jensen set his backpack on the table and removed his calculus book.

"I'm sure that's not true," I offered, starting to feel a little sorry for him. I looked around the apartment and saw dozens of pictures of Merritt and their parents, but very few of Jensen.

"Oh it is, but I won't bore you with the details," Jensen pulled out a dining room chair tucked neatly under the beautiful mahogany table and gestured for me to sit down. "Tell me Riley Matthews, what did you do with our dear friend Lucas Friar to make him so brilliant?"

I felt weird talking to Jensen about Lucas. He was practically a stranger, and Merritt's brother, it didn't feel right discussing my tutoring sessions with other students with him. Especially my tutoring sessions with Lucas.

"Oh, we just read books. I asked him questions. We talked about what we liked, what we didn't. Boring stuff like that," I muttered as I stared down at the table in front of us.

"Huh. Did you guys ever talk about other things?" He pressed, his voice sounding more urgent than before. If I didn't know any better, I'd say that I was in the middle of an interrogation. If you're accusing me of something, just spit it out.

"Like what?"

"Lacrosse, his parents, my sister," he looked up at me and raised one of his eyebrows. "You know, stuff like that," Jensen picked up his pencil and started twirling it around with his fingers. He leaned back in his chair, and gave me a sly smile.

I squirmed in my seat, already uncomfortable with this conversation.

"Not really," I quickly opened the calculus book I borrowed from Mrs. Nelson at school, and flipped to the chapter that Jensen's class was working on. "Okay, so you're having trouble with linear functions, correct?"

Jensen was quiet for a moment as he leaned forward in his chair, clearly adjusting to the abrupt change of subject. He shook his head and scooted closer to me, so that we were side by side.

"Yeah, I just can't wrap my head around all those letters in the formula," he explained, pointing to one of the formulas in the book. "And what the hell is a slope?" He squinted his eyes, and pointed to something else on the page. I smiled up at him, and shook my head.

"What? Oh God, I'm a lost cause aren't I?"

"No, no, of course not! I don't believe in lost causes. You're in luck actually, I can do linear functions in my sleep, so you're in good hands," I glanced up at him. He was looking at me with a strange expression that I couldn't decipher.

"Ms. Matthews, the teacher who never lets any of her students slip through the cracks," he smiled that sly smile again. "I like that."

"Yeah, well, I have a good role model," I explained, referring to my father. "So, anyway let's get started!"

"Okay, you are way too excited about this," Jensen took in my eager expression and smiled to himself. "Do you really dream about calculus?" he teased.

"What? I like math, is that so weird?" I was letting myself smile now, finally starting to feel more at ease in this stranger's apartment.

"Uh, yeah it's a little strange. Now tell me, do you dream about limericks and sonnets too, or is it strictly a math thing?"

I nudged his arm, and he smirked and nudged me back a little harder. I scoffed, rose from my chair, and quickly shuffled over to the living room to grab a pillow from the couch. I held the pillow up, and Jensen shook his head.

"Don't you dare," he warned.

I launched the pillow forward, praying it didn't hit anything expensive, and it smacked him on the side of his face. He picked up the pillow and I backed up, already preparing for a battle.

"Oh, it's on now!" Jensen announced from the kitchen. He crossed the dining room and followed me to the entryway. I picked up the pillow from the bench near the front door and shielded myself from the oncoming pillow aimed at my head. I kicked the pillow out of the way, lunged forward before he was ready, and hit him square in the chest.

"Oh, is it on? Because it kinda feels like I'm competing against myself?" I taunted, crossing in front of him to head back towards the living room.

"Okay, I was going easy on you before, but here we go, no mercy," Jensen scooped up the pillow that I had kicked, and ran to catch up to me. I launched another pillow, but missed. He raised both eyebrows and smirked. I turned around to grab another pillow from the couch. As soon as I turned, Jensen's pillow flew from his hands and hit me square in the back. I stumbled forward and fell to the floor.

"I'm so sorry, Riley! Are you okay?" Jensen rushed to my side, and knelt down next to me. He rested one hand on my back and I looked up at him. He was genuinely concerned. I cracked a smile. And then I couldn't help it. I let the laughter take over until I could barely breathe.

"The look on your face," I giggled. "Priceless."

"Hey, that's not fair! I was really worried," Jensen cracked a smile too, and then joined me in the uncontrollable laughter.

There we were, the tutor and the lacrosse player, laughing like we had heard the funniest joke in the world. Laughing like we had known each other for longer than a day. Laughing like we were actually from the same universe. Just then, the front door swung open and Merritt emerged in the entryway. I saw the look on her face first, but it took Jensen a few seconds to realize that someone else was in the room. When I lightly touched his arm, he matched my gaze and saw his sister with tears streaming down her face. We both scrambled to stand on our feet.

"Merritt, what is it? Is it Holden?" Jensen asked, moving towards her. I stayed back, my heart beating a million miles a minute.

Merritt nodded, and swallowed hard, as if she was trying to find the words to tell us the state of Holden's condition.

"He... Holden is..." Merritt choked, unable to finish the sentence. I closed my eyes and looked down at the floor. Lucas was going to be devastated.

"Holden is... Awake," Merritt took a deep breath, and cracked a small smile. Those weren't tears of grief; they were tears of relief.

"Merritt, that's amazing! Lucas and his mother must be so relieved," Jensen rubbed Merritt's shoulder, and led her over to the couch to sit down.

"Yes, they are. I just came from the hospital. Mrs. Friar is with Holden now," Merritt explained. She looked down at her hands. I could tell that something else was still bothering her, but I couldn't put my finger on what it was.

"Lucas hasn't gotten to see him yet?" I chimed in from the corner of the room. Both siblings looked up at me, as if they had forgotten I was even there.

"Um, no not yet. He was still in the waiting room when I left him," Merritt's brows were furrowed, her eyes full of confusion.

"Uh, Riley is my new tutor," Jensen quickly explained. "We were working on linear functions when you walked in."

"Funny, I didn't know math could be so... amusing," Merritt rose from the chair and walked over to the refrigerator to grab a bottle of water from the top shelf.

"So, I think we should celebrate," Jensen announced, quickly changing the subject. "And what better way to celebrate an awakening than with a party?"

"Jensen, I don't really think-"

"Oh come on Merritt, It'll be small... Well, small-ish. We'll invite all of Holden's friends. All of Lucas' friends. All of my friends..."

"Really, Jensen, that's your definition of small?" Merritt snapped.

"I'll set it up, you call Lucas, tell him to get over here as soon as he's seen his brother. It'll be great. 8pm!" Jensen was already heading to the back of the apartment, ready to start setting up the party. He stopped suddenly, and turned back to talk to me. "Oh, and you're coming too, right Riley?"

"Oh, I don't think-" I stammered, but Jensen cut me off.

"Great, see you back here and 8:00! We'll try tutoring again tomorrow. Holden is awake, life is good, let's PARTY!" Jensen yelled, as he disappeared into one of the rooms in the back.

I glanced over at Merritt and she rolled her eyes. I wanted to ask if she was okay, but thought better of it. I quickly put the pillows back where they had been before I had arrived, and headed back to the dining room to gather my belongings.

A party felt wrong. I knew that Lucas would be furious about it. He should be with his brother, not partying it up with the upper-east-side brats that had caused him trouble in the past. I shook my head, gathered my books, and stuffed them in my backpack. I had no intention of coming back to the Haynes' apartment that night as I exited through the front door and headed back home. I was going to work on my story for the NYU summer program and then head to bed early...

But then again, sometimes our intentions get changed. And we start doing things that we never thought we would do. All for someone we cared about.

There are moments in our lives where we see ourselves doing something that we shouldn't be doing, and we separate ourselves from the situation completely. We are no longer the ones doing that something; we are simply watching it from the outside, completely uninvolved. As I stepped through the apartment that I had left only hours before, it was not my foot stepping over the threshold. It was someone else's, a stranger's, and I was simply watching her from somewhere in the corner.

"Wow, this party is great!" Maya exclaimed from beside me. We were standing in the doorway, staring with wide eyes as we watched our classmates and people we had never even seen before, dance and down drinks like they didn't have a care in the world.

"Yeah, great," I muttered, already feeling uncomfortable. "Thanks for coming with me Maya. I didn't really want to come alone."

"Of course! It beats staying at home working on trig homework," Maya left my side to enter the crowd in front of us. "I'm gonna go dance, you coming?"

"In a sec," I yelled after her, but she had already been swallowed up by the crowd.

What was I doing here?

"Riley, you made it!" Jensen appeared from somewhere in the living room, drink in hand, already completely hammered.

"Uh, yeah!" I yelled over the music. I tried to navigate my way towards him, but I could barely move, there were so many people. Luckily, he found his way around the crowd easily and met me at the door.

So much for a "small-ish" party, Jensen.

"Here, you need to catch up!" Jensen offered me the red cup he was holding. It was full of some brown-colored liquid that I couldn't even begin to identify. I scrunched my nose and shook my head.

"No thanks," I lightly pushed the cup away and Jensen shrugged.

"Suit yourself!" Jensen took a sip from the cup and led me into the apartment with his other hand.

"Is Lucas here yet?" I was practically screaming, the music was so loud.

"No, but Merritt said that they were on their way! It was a lot more difficult to get him here than anticipated," Jensen explained as he looked around the apartment for someone.

I nodded and awkwardly played with the strap on my purse, wondering what on earth possessed me to come here tonight.

"Here, come put your purse in my room!" Jensen was already leading me towards the back of the apartment.

"No, it's okay," I shook my head, but Jensen insisted.

"Come on, Riley, it'll be safe there I promise!" Jensen winked, and I cracked a smile.

I knew it was silly, but I felt strange going back to his bedroom while we were alone. I barely knew this guy, and despite how well we got along today, I still wasn't entirely comfortable around him, and I couldn't put my finger on why.

"So, you can just set it there on my bed," he gestured for me to enter the room and I scooted by him.

"Thanks," I mumbled.

"I'll see you back in there okay? No escaping through the window. Well, we're on the 12th floor anyway. That wouldn't end well," Jensen smirked, and turned to head back into the party. "Oh and feel free to snoop. I've got nothing to hide."

I set my purse on Jensen's bed, and turned back towards the door, with every intention of leaving. But, like I said before, intentions can change. The pictures on his dresser caught my eye, so I crossed his large bedroom to get a closer look. There were a few of Jensen and Merritt on various family vacations, one or two of Jensen and his lacrosse team, and then there was one that made me remove it from the dresser to examine it even closer. Jensen and Lucas stared up at me in their lacrosse jerseys, their arms around each other's shoulders, big smiles on their faces. It never occurred to me that they were friends once, let alone teammates. I flipped it over. There was a date - January 17th of last year. Why did that date sound so familiar? I shook my head, and set the picture back where I had found it. As I turned to leave Jensen's bedroom, something else caught my eye. A newspaper article pinned to the wall closest to the bedroom door.

The headline read: 'Teenage Girl Drowns in Pool at Lacrosse After Party' - January 17th

Now I remembered. That was the night the lacrosse team won the state championships. That was the night Jessica Evans died at the after party. And that was the night Jensen Haynes got expelled from our high school. Everyone was saying that he was responsible somehow, but no one had proof, other than he was drunk out of his mind. But why would he have this on his wall as a reminder of that night?

"Where did you get that?" I spun around quickly to see Lucas standing in the doorway, a grim expression on his face.

"Lucas, y-you scared me," I stuttered, my heart beating hard in my chest. "I-I found it on the wall."

Lucas crossed the room to stand next to me and ripped the newspaper off of the wall. He crumpled up the paper and stuffed it in his pocket.

"Don't read that," Lucas' voice was harsh, so unlike his normal tone. "Don't you ever read anything about that night, okay?"

I nodded quickly, starting to feel a little afraid. Believe it or not, I just wanted to get back to the party.

"Sorry, Riley," Lucas' voice was back to normal now. "It's just... a terrible memory."

"It's okay, I understand," I assured him in almost a whisper. "Let's just go back to the party."

Lucas nodded, as he put one hand on my shoulder to lead me back to the living room. I didn't mean to do this, I swear that I didn't but, as his hand made contact with my body, I flinched. Whether it was out of fear, or uncertainty or that I was simply just cold, I wasn't sure. But one thing was for certain - I had a lot of questions.

Was Lucas hiding something about that night? Was that the secret those guys in the alleyway were warning me about? And the biggest one of all - could I trust Lucas? To be honest, I wasn't sure if I wanted to know the answers.