Chapter 12 - Christmas Holidays
It was always hectic on the days when they were travelling back to London, and Sirius still felt slightly nauseous from last night's escapades. Usually, he missed all the fuss, choosing to stay at Hogwarts over Christmas rather than face his family, but a Christmas with the Potters was too good to pass up, and Sirius had been unable to refuse.
"Are you sure you're going to be alright?" he asked, already weighted down by his trunk and the rucksack that he was carrying.
Remus nodded in slight annoyance, having been asked that question for what must have been the hundredth time that week. "I'll be fine," he repeated, "have fun at James'."
"You know you could always come with," James called from the bottom of the stairs, an offer that Remus had already declined numerous times.
"I'm good here," he said, tucking a forgotten shirt into Sirius' trunk. "Go on, make sure you get everything sorted before you leave for the train. Where's Pete? I still need to say goodbye and give him his present."
"He was down in the common room earlier," Sirius replied as he went downstairs.
Remus followed and quickly spotted Peter playing a last game of gobstones. Before heading over, he turned to Sirius. He always hated saying goodbye for the holidays; it was needlessly awkward with half-hearted hugs and forceful pats on the back that always left him feeling more winded than missed.
"Bye then, Moony!" Sirius grinned, giving him a one-armed hug that caused his rucksack to swing dangerously close to Remus' head. "I'll send you some of James' mum's cooking when we get there."
"Don't eat her out of house and home," Remus replied.
Sirius just laughed and waved jovially as he headed over to where James was saying goodbye to the rest of the Quidditch team. He approached them eagerly and was already half way through a heartfelt goodbye to Kingsley before he noticed Mary's eyes upon him.
From the anxious looks on both their faces, it was clear that they had each been hoping to avoid the other until after the Christmas holidays, when the Slug Club party - or rather, what had happened immediately after it - would have hopefully seemed like a distant memory. Mary tugged her skirt down and smiled awkwardly at Sirius, though based on the fact that he only looked more worried, her smile probably wasn't all that convincing.
Mary cleared her throat meaningfully and took a few steps away from the rest of the Quidditch team, who were luckily distracted by the fact that Chloe had tackled Benjy in an enthusiastic bear hug and knocked him over. Sirius reluctantly followed her, determinedly avoiding her gaze. For a few moments they stood opposite each other, both apparently absorbed in staring at the worn carpet, until Mary finally spoke.
"Listen, about last night -"
"Yeah - that was - well."
"It was, er, nice, I guess," Mary said, blushing.
"Yeah," he agreed hesitantly. James had glanced over at him, but had thankfully been side-tracked with saying goodbye to Remus. Sirius looked at Mary thoughtfully. "You're very pretty," he said after a while - which was true, Mary had a great figure, and was someone Sirius enjoyed the company of. "Maybe we could talk or something, after Christmas?" he said, not wanting to hurt her feelings.
"Oh," Mary said. She met Sirius' gaze and bit her lip. "I'm - I'm really sorry, but I don't think that's a good idea. Not that you weren't, y'know, good or whatever. I just don't think it'll work out."
"Ah." Momentarily he was a little bit offended, then a small smile crept onto his face. "Really," he said, "I'm so glad you said that. I think we were maybe a bit drunk, and not that I don't like you but - yes, we should not do that again. Ever."
Mary visibly relaxed. "Thank god," she replied. "I thought for a second you really meant it and I'd just broken your heart or something." She grinned and added, "We can be friends though, right? I don't want us to be really awkward and avoid each other forever. I think Potter will kill us both if we spend the next match at opposite ends of the pitch."
"Definitely," Sirius agreed, feeling a wave a relief as Mary smiled and adjusted the hold-all at her feet. "Put it down to experience and all that."
"It certainly was an experience," Mary replied, raising her eyebrows. Then she leant forward and placed a quick kiss on his cheek. "And that concludes the end of our brief affair," she said with a smirk. "Have a good Christmas, Black."
"You too," he replied, turning to watch her wave goodbye to the others and head towards the portrait hole, "don't do anything I wouldn't do."
"Or half the things you would," she called back, and with a final wink she left the common room to join the students gathering in the entrance hall.
It had been four days since the term had ended and everyone had gone home for the holidays - everyone except Remus that was. He'd never been the only one in the dorm before; most of the time if he wanted to be alone he went to the library, since in the dormitory someone would inevitably interrupt him every ten minutes to fetch some dungbombs or to find out if he wanted to play exploding snap.
Every Christmas before this one, Remus and Sirius had both stayed at Hogwarts together, each of them finding it easier not to go home. It was during the Christmas of their first year that they'd first grown close, after Sirius had become much too bored and lonely without James around and had convinced Remus to go exploring with him. Admittedly they'd had things thrown at them by Peeves and were nearly trapped inside a secret passage that led nowhere, but it was the first time Remus had felt like he'd been on an adventure.
Right now he was wishing someone was around to do something similarly stupid but fun with. He'd enjoyed the peace and quiet for the first couple of days, when he'd been able to read for several hours without anyone trying to float his book across the room. It was nice sitting in front of the fire in the common room, warm and cosy despite the snow coating the ground outside and the thin layer of ice on the lake. But now he was starting to miss his friends. He'd considered writing a letter to them, but Sirius deserved to have a happy Christmas with James' family and Remus didn't want to interrupt. He eventually started writing to Peter, but then realised he had nothing whatsoever to tell him and so ended up throwing the parchment into the fire.
Just as he was growing so restless that he considered going to see if dinner had been served in the Great Hall just for something to do, the portrait hole opened and Lily burst in. Remus had seen her around over the past few days, but they'd both kept to themselves so he was surprised when she stormed over to him, a piece of parchment in her hand and a frankly terrifying expression on her face.
"Do you know about this?" she demanded, shoving it under Remus' nose. He tentatively reached out to take it, but before he could Lily pulled back her arm and collapsed into the armchair next to him.
"Potter and Black think they can have whatever they want without consequences! Well it's ridiculous. Do you know about him and Mary? And then he just shrugs it off like it's nothing! She says she doesn't mind but your first time has to mean something, right?"
She folded her arms across her chest, breathing heavily. "Well?"
"Oh," Remus said, frowning. "Yeah I know about that."
She raised her eyebrows, clearly waiting for him to say more.
"Well I don't see the point in being mad at him," he continued. "I mean, he's technically an adult now and he can make his own choices and everything. Even if those choices involve lots of alcohol and things he regrets in the morning. Because apparently if he's left alone with anyone for five minutes at a party he just can't help himself." He scowled at the letter in Lily's hand. "And it was after a teacher's party, of all things. Merlin knows why he did it but it's not like he'd have listened even if he'd bothered to talk to anyone about it before rushing into things."
"You're pissed off," Lily remarked, feeling some of her own anger drain away. If Remus had known, she'd expected him to take the more casual approach that most boys did to sex. "I just don't understand how it happened. I mean how do you go to one party with someone and end up sleeping with them? Not that I'm judging -" she added hastily, "if Mary wants to sleep with people that fine but she's never really had a boyfriend before and no offence but Sirius Black wouldn't exactly be my first thought when it comes to people you'd trust to be intimate with."
Remus sighed. "If it makes you feel better, it was Sirius' first time too. And he seemed to be in shock when he got back so I don't think he really knew what he was doing - he definitely wasn't using her or whatever if that's what you're thinking."
"It had crossed my mind," Lily admitted. "Well, I suppose if they were both being idiots I can't blame Black completely. I'm sorry, I probably shouldn't have come over to moan about your friend."
"Oh, it's fine, I appreciate that the need to complain about him is sometimes a strong one," he said. "Besides, I'm so used to people interrupting to tell me something Very Important that I was starting to miss it."
Lily was getting up to leave but she grinned, so Remus quickly added, "Uh, feel free to say no but do you want to, y'know, do something?"
"Actually, that sounds good. I've been doing far too much reading and homework. It's just plain wrong." She smiled at Remus and put Mary's letter and her bag down on the table - it wasn't like anyone was around to take them. "Have you ever been sledging on the grounds? A few of us made a sledge last winter and it works a treat."
"Er, no, every year I have refused to get in a sledge made by Sirius Black because it would probably lead to us both drowning in the lake. But I trust your sledge-making abilities a lot more, so that sounds fun."
"Next time Black and I disagree, I'll be sure to tell him you said that," Lily laughed. "I'll go and grab something warmer to put on and get the sledge, you might need to give me a hand getting it down the stairs though!"
She gave him a small wave before turning and taking the stairs up to the girls' dorm two at a time. After putting on her cloak and gloves and wrapping her scarf securely around her neck, Lily pulled the sledge out from where it had been shoved under her friend's bed.
"Remus?" She shouted down, "Are you at the bottom of the stairs? I'm going to start pushing it down."
"Hang on, I'll just come up and- agh!"
"Don't!" Lily shouted, but it was too late; before Remus was half way up the stairs, the steps beneath him magically transformed, turning into a slick slide. Remus looked at her, horrified, as he wobbled backwards, throwing out his arms to try and grab onto something but failing miserably. The sledge Lily was holding onto was suddenly heavy on the flat surface of what had been the stairs, and before she could pull it back up into the dorm, she lost her grip, sending the sledge flying down the stairs towards Remus, who had just landed in a heap in the archway to the common room.
"Look out!" Lily called to little avail, as she watched the heavy wooden contraption collide with Remus' leg.
Remus grabbed onto the banister and looked down at his leg as Lily half ran, half skidded down to him. As he pulled up his trouser leg, he was surprised to see that he wasn't bleeding, but the spot below his knee where the sledge had hit him was sore when he prodded it.
"Oh, shit," Lily said, kneeling down next to him. "Are you okay?"
She reached towards him but he quickly pulled away from her and tugged down the trouser leg again; he wasn't worried about her seeing the beginnings of the large bruise that was forming, but there were plenty of other scars he couldn't explain to her. "I'm fine," he reassured her as she helped him to his feet. "I've had worse, don't worry. It's my fault for forgetting about the stairs."
"I'm sorry anyway. Do you still want to go outside or-"
"Yeah, of course," he said, smiling. "I'm not so badly wounded that I can't sit on a sledge, I swear."
After he'd convinced Lily that he really was fine and put on several more layers of clothes to protect him from the cold and further bruises, Remus went outside with her. They found a steep slope leading down to a spot near Hagrid's hut, and Remus stood ankle-deep in the snow while Lily positioned the sledge and sat down on it.
"Give me a push will you?" She asked, grabbing the piece of rope attached to the front of the sledge. It was designed to give her some sort of control over the thing, not that it did much good.
Remus did as she asked, letting go of her right on the incline of the hill. Lily immediately gained speed, feeling the cold snow around her spraying over her clothes and face.
"Woo!" she called out, noticing as she sped towards flat ground that Hagrid had emerged from his house and was watching her with amusement. When she eventually came to a stop she waved at him happily, red in the face and grinning from the rush of energy.
"Your turn!" She shouted as she ran back up the hill towards Remus, pulling the sledge behind her. "Extra points if you do it with no hands!"
"And here I was thinking you were more sensible than my other friends," Remus said, taking the sledge from her.
"What kind of Gryffindor would I be if I wasn't sometimes a daring idiot?"
He laughed and sat down on the sledge. "Guess that makes me a one too, so I'd better accept your challenge."
Lily put her hands on his shoulders. "Ready?"
"Remember that if I die you have to do double prefect duties," Remus said, and before he could say go, Lily pushed him forward.
Just as she'd said, he let go of the rope once he'd picked up speed and hurtled towards the bottom of the slope at a slightly alarming pace, laughing as he hit the bottom and rolled off into the snow.
"Come back!" Lily shouted from the top of the hill, "I need to try that!"
They took turns on the sledge for the next half hour or so, both becoming more and more adventurous as it became apparent that the snow was a decent way to break their falls. It wasn't until Remus challenged Lily to go down the hill backwards, while standing on the sledge - and she agreed, fell, and rolled down the hill on her side - that they decided to call it a day.
"You alright?" Remus asked, rushing down the slope towards her as the sledge hurtled into Hagrid's fence.
"Fine!" Lily laughed, standing up and shrugging the snow off her cloak. "I'm sure if I tried again I could get it right."
"Hmm, I've heard that before," Remus said sceptically. "I think we're better off going inside to warm up - my hands and feet are freezing."
"Yeh can come sit by the fire and have a cup of tea with me if yeh need to get warm," said a booming voice behind them, and they both looked around to find Hagrid sticking his head out of his cabin door.
"Thanks, that sounds good," Remus said.
"Do you have any hot chocolate?" Lily asked hopefully as they left the sledge and followed Hagrid inside.
"Of course," Hagrid replied jollily, "jus' done a fresh batch of rock cakes too. Or Christmas cake if yeh'd prefer."
"I love Christmas cake," Remus said politely.
Lily attempted to catch his eye - having more experience with Hagrid's cooking than him, she felt inclined to warn him off the cakes. Then again, he had just been quite happy to watch her fall backwards into the snow, so maybe she'd let him have some.
She shrugged off her cloak and hung it by the door while Hagrid made room for them by the fire. When he put a pot of water on to boil, a small lizard scuttled out of the fireplace and ran under the table.
"Erm, what was that?" Remus asked.
"That's Smoky," Hagrid said cheerfully. "Perfectly friendly as long as he don' set yeh on fire – but that's only happened twice."
Amused by Remus' expression, Lily leant over and whispered, "This sort of thing happens a lot," before sitting down at the table and purposefully ignoring the cakes in front of her.
Remus sat down tentatively, lifting his feet off the ground in the hopes of not stepping on the very hot lizard. He reached for a slice of Christmas cake and immediately scowled as he bit into it.
Since Hagrid was still busy making the tea, he decisively put the cake back down and looked up at Lily to see her smirking at him.
"Good?" she asked innocently.
Before Remus could reply, Hagrid set three enormous mugs down on the table. "Drink up," he said, and Remus gratefully wrapped his hands around the steaming tea. It would wash away the taste of the Christmas cake nicely.