Sorry updates have been sporadic. I promise all of you reading that this story will not be abandoned. Things have gotten in the way, and sadly I'll never be good enough to live like Castle...lol Thank you to each and every one if you that has left a review, favorited, or followed. I can't tell you how happy I am when I get FF notifications! So, from the bottom of my heart THANK YOU! This is still my 2014 Ficathon entry! I'd live to hear your thoughts on the wedding epiosde!

It replayed in vivid detail. An endless cycle of scenes she's not certain actually happened. Blood splattered haphazardly across Castle's chest and face, as he laid frozen in bed. The expression on his face so horrific she knew it had to be his blood, though that made no sense. The scene re-played in slow motion. Walker's demonic expression as he gawked at her naked form. The burning pain that seared through her chest just before she raised her gun and blew his brains out. Then the cold darkness had crept around the edges of her consciousness. Backness consumed her and she was left with nothing but the sound of Castle's frantic screams.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ C&B ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Castle slept. It had taken a sedative injected into his IV to finally calm him down. A nurse had cleaned him up and moved him to another secure room. Ryan and the security team had moved along with him. As soon Beckett was cleared from ICU she would be transferred to this room.

Ryan sat and watched the steady rise and fall of Castle's chest. His mind raced with all the close calls these two had escaped, not to mention the four years of sexual tension before they got together. He knew their jobs were dangerous, that life could be snuffed out at any moment, but the last couple of years with 3XK, Bracken, the fire, Kate's botched undercover, Alexis kidnapping, Kate on a bomb, Castle almost dying in DC, the list was horrifying even to a seasoned Detective. Ryan dropped his face into his hands and wondered how many more lives they had. Jenny, Sarah Grace and the people at the12th were his family. The bond forged was stronger than any blood. He knew Beckett, Castle and Espo would always have his back and bring him home.

Castle stirred and Ryan stood by the bed.

"Castle?"

Castle's eyes blinked open. Immediately he was once again in panic mode. "Ryan? Where's Beckett? She ok? I saw him shoot her. I saw Shaw pressing into her chest!"

Ryan placed his hand on Castle's chest to keep him from sitting up. "She got out of surgery a while ago. She is in ICU but the Doctor said she has a good prognosis. She is going to be ok. You were sedated to keep you from hurting yourself trying to get to her. You're damn strong, Castle."

Then almost as if he had been reading Ryan's mind earlier Castle looked at Ryan and asked, "How many more lives does she have before I lose her, Ryan?"

They sat in silence for a while before Castle spoke again.

"Ryan, could you give me a few minutes? I'd like to call Alexis, my mother and Mr. Beckett. I want to tell them myself that I'm ok, and that Beckett has a good prognosis."

Ryan handed Castle his phone as Ryan steps just outside the room. Just before the door closed he could hear Castle reassuring his daughter.

"Hi Pumpkin. Yes, I'm fine..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ C&B ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It had been 36 hours since she had come out of the Operating Room and Espo hadn't left her side choosing instead to sleep in the chair next to her bed. The nurse opened the door, slid in, and checked Beckett's vital signs on the monitors.

"She seems to be coming out of the anesthesia, Detective. It shouldn't be long now. Once she comes out, and can breathe on her own we'll move her to the other room. The tube in her chest will be probably be removed in the next couple of days, depending on her progress."

"Thank you." Espo sat by the bed, and stared at Beckett. She was extremely pale, and she had deep circle under her eyes. Her hair was matted to her head. Multiple wires ran from under her hospital gown to their corresponding beeping monitors. The tube sucking air from the cavity around her lungs hummed beside her. He wanted to touch her, maybe hold her hand, but that had never been them. They didn't touch. He loved her like a sister, entrusted his life to her and Ryan daily, but they never touched.

He reached over and slipped his hand under hers. He felt the warmth of her fingers seep through his, and it was enough to reassure him that she would make it. He slid his hand from under hers and waited, because there are few people in his life who were worth his devotion and she's one of them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ C&B ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She hated coming out of anesthesia. Hated that reality slowly came into focus around her, but she had no idea what was going on. Her thoughts were jumbled, the lights were bright against her closed eyes and the sounds of the monitors around her rang loud in her ears.

Moments later her eyes blinked open. The unexpected oxygen mask startled her. Her hand reached for the mask, but then dropped to the bed.

Espo noticed the movement and stood up to talk to her.

"Espo?" He couldn't miss the broken quality to her voice, the pain behind it. "Castle?"

"He's fine, Beckett. You shot Walker before he got to him."

"I saw blood." Her voice cracked and tears slipped from her eyes. "Heard him screaming."

"He screamed because of you, Beckett. Walker shot you twice. Once just below the shoulder and once in the lower chest. You shot Walker in the head. The blood on Castle was Walker's. Castle didn't get shot."

Her eyes closed and she took a uncomfortable deep breathe. "It's not over yet, is it?"

"No, but we have every available man on this. Volkov is here in New York, and we'll get the son of a bitch."

She closed her eyes. She knew the pain she was experiencing was nothing compared to what would soon be coming. She had already gone through this, but this time, this time she wouldn't run. This time she knew that there was something to fight for.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ C&B ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Volkov tried to head towards the hospital. It had taken over two hours to get within three blocks of the place. He tried to get close enough to hear information from those leaving the scene. There were still many police cars and an FBI truck or two still parked in front. There was a group of policemen getting briefed to the side. He tried to approach them until he caught sight of a flyer that was being passed out to them and the nearby reporters. It was a picture of him.

He backed up slowly and tried not to call attention to himself. He turned and walked right into an officer.

"Excuse me." Volkov said as he looked down avoiding eye contact.

"No problem." The officer said as he moved toward the group.

Volkov walked away and blended into the nosey crowd around him. He headed away from the crime scene and towards the next subway stop only a block away.

The young policeman looked at the picture of the man on the flyer he had just been handed. He recognized the man right away.

"This is the guy we're looking for? He was just here. I just bumped into him not fifty feet from here. He was headed up that street."

The reaction was instant. The group dispersed and ran in the direction the rookie pointed. Volkov had just reached the intersection where the subway entrance was located, when he heard a commotion behind him. Without turning back he continued down the stairs of the subway and disappeared.

His picture was probably already plastered on the TV. He needed to get out of the country. Walker would be taken care of later. Right now he knew his life was worth nothing on American soil.

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