**Note: This part jumps around a lot, so it might seem a little confusing, but I did that on purpose. I'll fill everything else in during the next part! So just to clarify there is one last part (24) and then the epilogue (25) and then that's it! Thank you for everyone who has stuck with this story for so long! Love you all!**

Chapter 23: Miles From Where We Used to Be

Riley

MAY OF JUNIOR YEAR (Almost 6 months after Lucas left New York)

"Riles! Riley Matthews!"

I looked up from the book I was flipping through at my locker to see Maya jogging down the hallway, waving a piece of paper wildly in her hands. She pushed past the students hurrying to get to their next class, fighting her way through the crowd of tired and aggravated teenagers as best she could.

"Move!" She yelled at a confused freshman who happened to be twice her size. "Get out of the way, important news reporter coming through!"

Sheldon Mackabee turned on his heel to narrow his eyes at Maya as she passed his locker.

"School's almost over, there's no more news left to report," Sheldon informed her, pushing his greasy hair out of his eyes and adjusting his backpack onto his shoulders.

"Oh really, Sheldon? How about I report that you sleep with the light on because you're still afraid of the monster under the bed? How's that for a report?" Maya snapped, putting her hands on her hips and raising her eyebrows at him as some sort of challenge.

"A lot of people still sleep with the light on," Sheldon reasoned, his voice sounding much less confident than it had only a second ago.

"Oh, okay so you wouldn't mind if I just..."

"Wait!" Sheldon conceded, waving his hands frantically in front of her to show that he most definitely did not want that to happen.

"That's what I thought," Maya smirked, turning away from him to head back in my direction. "Sleep tight tonight, Sheldon!"

"Maya, relax I'm not going anywhere!" I assured her, placing my book back on the top shelf of my locker and shutting it. "What's up?"

"You-" she started to say, but stopped short as she ran out of breath to finish her sentence. "Man, I'm out of breath. Okay - the piece you sent in for the NYU contest? You know, the one about-"

"Yes, Maya I remember what it was about," I finished for her, quickly tucking my hair behind my ear and avoiding her gaze.

"Well, we all know that it got you into the writing program this summer, as did my story about the nuns who own an orphanage in Ghana, although your position is obviously in the creative writing program and mine is - "

"Maya, I get it - what were you about to say?" I prompted her to stay on track and she shook her head as if she finally remembered the point of her story.

"Oh, right! Well not only did it get you into the program, but it also got you a full scholarship for the entire 2 months!"

"What? I thought it was only 6 weeks?" I furrowed my eyebrows together in confusion and Maya smiled slyly at me.

"That was just the first session, also known as the 'cheap enough for me to pay for myself' session. The second session has way better guest speakers and workshops, hence why it costs so much more to attend. But lucky for you, your writing got you in for free! It's an amazing opportunity! And now you get the chance to go!"

"That is amazing," I mumbled, still unable to wrap my head around all of the information she was throwing at me.

"Not to mention it's in London," Maya added, the corners of her lips twitching ever so slightly as they tried to make their way up into a smirk.

"London?" I repeated, my eyes shooting up quickly to meet hers.

"Yep," Maya nodded, no longer attempting to hide her amused smile. "London."

"But that's where-"

"I know," Maya beamed, clapping her hands together excitedly.

"Maya, what did you do?" I narrowed my eyes at her and she immediately started to back away, throwing her hands up in defense.

"Nothing - I did absolutely nothing," she scrambled to deny the accusation as she quickly glanced down at her phone. "Oops, gotta go Zay and Farkle are waiting for me in the library! Congratulations by the way!"

Maya turned on her heel and sprinted down the now-clear hallway in the opposite direction of the library.

"Maya Hart, come back here right now!" I called after her, but she had already rounded the corner and was nowhere to be seen or heard.

If what Maya said was true, I would be going to London in just 2 short months. And that meant I would finally get to put my mind to rest of the thoughts that had been playing on a loop in my head all semester. The thoughts that sprung to my mind whenever I read a book, walked down the hallway, or so much as stepped into my own mother's Bakery. Thoughts of him. And the mess that he left behind.

THE NIGHT AFTER LUCAS LEFT NEW YORK

The letter sat unopened on my nightstand as I returned home from school that day. I knew who it was from and I knew exactly what it said, but I couldn't bring myself to read it. So I wrote story after story and I listened to every sad song I had in my music library and I never read the letter.

Until I did.

I waited until everyone went to bed, cleared a space at the bay window, and read it over and over again until the sun started to shine through the cracks in the blinds. When I finally locked the letter away in my bedside table, I wished that I would have never read it. I wish I could take back reading every last word of it, seal it back up, and place it exactly where I had found it on my windowsill earlier that morning. But I couldn't take it back. And I couldn't bring Lucas back either.

"Hey, Zay," I said into the phone that afternoon, using every last bit of strength I had not to fall to pieces as I let the words escape from my lips."It's Riley Matthews."

"Oh, hi Riley," Zay replied, his voice absent of any shock that might have been brought on by hearing that it was me calling him, and not someone he was more familiar with. It was almost as if he was expecting it to be me the second he picked up the phone. "What can I do for you?"

"You can tell me where he is," I said automatically, getting straight to the point.

"Who are we talking about again?"

"Isaiah Babineaux," I snapped, my voice thick with impatience.

"Oh, we're talking about Lucas," Zay played dumb, the nervousness in his voice much more obvious than it had been a second ago. "Right."

"Where is he, Zay?"

"He's in Washington with this family," he stated. "He told you that, remember?"

"Where is he really?" I demanded, biting my bottom lip to keep my voice from quavering.

"I don't think I understand the ques-"

"He left me a letter," I blurted out quickly. "He said that he needed to get away from everything and to do that he needed to travel a distance further than Seattle, Washington. So how far are we talking, Zay? I just need to know how far, okay?"

There was a moment of silence in which neither of us said a word. I listened to his breathing as he thought of what he should or shouldn't tell me, impatiently tapping my foot against the hardwood floor until he finally took a deep breath and sighed into the phone.

"Roughly 3500 miles," he muttered, and I closed my eyes as I let the realization sink in.

Lucas was really gone. It wasn't just a terrible, back of the mind, thought I had as I jumped to the worst conclusions. He was out of my life for however long it took for him to "find himself" and all I could do was wait. I had to respect his decision to leave. I had to be supportive by letting him have his space. But that definitely didn't mean that it didn't break my heart.

"Thank you," I whispered, and without saying another word, I ended the call, set my phone of my dresser, and cried into my pillow until I fell asleep.

THE DAY RILEY LEFT FOR LONDON

"Are you sure about this?" My father asked as he watched Auggie lug my gigantic suitcase down the stairs to the living room. "I mean, it's not too late to back out. I'm sure the scholarship people would understand."

"Dad, I'm going," I informed him, zipping up my backpack and leaning it against the couch. "And there's nothing you can do to stop me."

"I can steal your passport before we take you to the airport," my Dad threatened, raising his eyebrows at me challengingly

"You're not that quick, and I have catlike reflexes," I shot back, crossing the living room to unplug my phone charger from the outlet in the kitchen.

"I can get Auggie to steal your passport before we take you to the airport," he corrected himself, folding his arms over his chest and smirking in my direction.

"Mom!" I turned towards my mother who was sitting at the top of the stairs, and gave her a look of desperation that only she would understand.

"Cory, she's not a little girl anymore," she reminded him as she made her way down the stairs and into the living room. "She's growing up and it's about time we accepted that."

"Thank you," I smiled at my mother gratefully and she nodded.

"Besides, she has it stuffed really far down in her bag, I already checked," she added, and I turned around to shove her arm playfully.

"You guys are ridiculous," I muttered, shaking my head in disbelief and shoving my charger into my backpack.

"That's why you love us," Auggie chimed in from the other side of the room, and I spun around to stick my tongue out at him.

Just as Auggie rolled my suitcase to the front of the room, the door swung open and hit him in the side with a loud thud.

"Knock, knock," Maya announced as she stepped into our apartment, and Auggie peeked his head around the door to glare at her.

"You know, it helps if you actually knock and wait for a response before you enter the room, Maya," my Dad reminded her, trying his best not to laugh at the sight of Auggie simultaneously rubbing his elbow and narrowing his eyes at Maya in annoyance.

"Sorry, Matthews, but we don't have a lot of time," she explained, hopping onto the arm of the couch and gesturing back to the door with one hand. "And I brought friends."

As if on cue, Farkle, Zay, and Isadora walked through the door and filed into the room to stand in front of the coffee table.

"You guys!" I smiled up at them in disbelief, taking a few steps towards them to place a hand on Farkle's shoulder. "You didn't have to come. I'm only going to be gone for 3 weeks."

"And miss the chance to beg you to bring us back presents," Farkle joked. "Not a chance."

"Yes, that's right Farkle," Maya agreed, her lips curling into a mischievous grin. "And I will be collecting all of the requests in this little journal here. Please, form an orderly line behind August Matthews."

Everyone, including my parents, flocked towards the back of the room where Maya was standing, but I quickly grabbed Zay's arm before he could do the same.

"You didn't tell him I was coming did you?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

"I promised I wouldn't and I kept my word," Zay assured me, and I sighed in relief. "But Riley, he hasn't been doing well and I'm not so sure seeing you is going to help."

"Thanks a lot," I said dryly, crossing my arms over my chest in mock-offense.

"That's not what I meant," he explained. "I just - he cares a lot about you and seeing you when he's down like this isn't going to make him feel much better. It's going to make him feel like he's not the type of guy you deserve even more than he already did. Trust me, I know him."

"You're a good friend Zay," I told him, placing a hand on his shoulder and smiling up at him gratefully. "But I've been going crazy for months. I have to see how he's doing for myself, okay?"

"Alright," Zay muttered, throwing his hands up in defeat. "Have a safe flight."

"Thanks, Zay," I said, raising my eyes to meet his. "For everything."

"I told Lucas I'd look out for you," he confessed, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "But I'm lucky to say that you've become a really good friend of mine and I'm thankful for that."

"Yeah well," I mumbled, glancing back at Maya before returning my gaze to meet his. "I had to make sure you were good enough for my best friend."

"Oh really," he laughed, and I couldn't help but return his laugh as I took in the shocked expression on his face.

"Okay, we should probably get going. We want to get there in plenty of time to go through security, get to your gate - all the things I'm usually rushing to do whenever I go to the airport," my dad announced as he made his way to the front door. "You ready, Riley?"

Was I ready?

I was traveling miles away from home to attend a writing workshop that could give me a head start in college and my future career. I was going out of the country for the first time in my entire life, and I was going there by myself. But amidst all of the new changes occurring on this trip, I was traveling this far to bring Lucas and I back to where we used to be. I was traveling this far to bring Lucas home.

"I guess we'll find that out, won't we?"

COMING HOME FROM LONDON

"You're uncharacteristically quiet tonight."

Maya narrowed her eyes at me from across the dining room table and I looked up to meet her eyes briefly before I let my head bob back down onto my hand as I rested my elbow on the surface in front of me.

"Just tired," I mumbled into my plate, pushing around the carrots with my fork. My parents and Auggie were having a debate about whether a tomato was a fruit or a vegetable at the end of the table, so no one else could hear our conversation but Maya and myself.

"Well tell me all about your trip, I want to hear everything!"

"Um," I muttered, scrunching my eyebrows together and silently willing myself not to cry in front of everyone. "I don't really want to talk about it right now, if that's okay."

"I'm guessing things didn't go the way you wanted them to with Lucas?" Maya gave me a sympathetic look as I slowly let my eyes drift upwards to meet hers.

"No, they didn't."

"I'm sorry, Riles," she said in almost a whisper as she reached across the table to take my hand in hers.

"Lucas Friar is never coming back to New York," I stated, my voice quavering slightly as the tears started to spring up at the corners of my eyes. "And I don't think I even want him to anymore."

"Riley, what happened up there?"

"Lucas made it very clear that he doesn't want anything to do with me," I explained, withdrawing my hand from hers to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. "And I guess I have to accept that. Things will go back to the way they were before I met him, just like he wanted. It was like I never really knew him. And who knows? Maybe I never did."

I dropped my fork onto my plate and, ignoring the questions and concerned looks from my friends and family, I grabbed my notebook and stormed out of the apartment. I suddenly felt more inspired to write than I had been in almost a year, and I needed to get every word of it onto paper before I forgot it.

Lucas was gone, but in some ways that made me want to write even more because it brought me back to who we were before everything got so complicated. It made me feel closer to the person I had gotten to know in the library, and I so desperately wanted to know him again. So that's exactly where I went and where I would go until the day I stopped missing him.