Chapter 15 –

The journey back to Hogwarts after Christmas was always less exciting than it was at the end of the summer holidays. The Hogwarts Express took pretty much an entire day to reach the isolated Scottish highlands where the castle was hidden, and without a huge feast to look forward to it was really quite boring. Normally James and Peter were the only ones who'd gone home for the holidays so they generally had to fight to get a carriage to themselves, and then they spent the long hours playing exploding snap or wizards' chess. This time, however, Sirius was with them, and by the end of the journey four Slytherins had been hexed, one person's luggage had nearly been thrown out of the window, and no less than twelve people had promised to report them to their head of house: overall, not a bad start to the term.

What was far more unusual about the day was that, when the three of them had made it back to Gryffindor Tower, floating their suitcases up the stairs and narrowly avoiding knocking over a first year, they found their dormitory even messier than when they'd left.

"Er," James said, peering at the pillows, mattresses and blankets that had found their way onto the floor. Remus' books, parchment and clothes were normally kept to his own part of the room, but now they were haphazardly strewn over everyone's beds. "Did we get burgled or has Moony had a house party while we were gone?"

At this, Remus appeared in the doorway behind them and smiled. "Hey everyone, did you have a good Christmas?"

"Not as fun as yours by the looks of it," Sirius said, walking over to a collection of empty bottles by his bed and picking one up. "You had an entire bottle of firewhiskey?" he asked, sounding impressed.

"Oh, well yeah, sorry about the mess. I was just about to clean it up but-"

"Remus, I think I left my- Oh. They're back." Lily had been running up the stairs to the dorm with all the familiarity of someone who lived there, but when she saw the three of them she stopped abruptly.

"You mean this?" Remus asked, picking up what was undeniably Lily's skirt from the floor and handing it back to her.

"Yeah, thanks." She looked from Remus to James, who had gone alarmingly pale. "I'll just go then. See you, Remus." With a last wave over her shoulder, she left as hurriedly as she'd come.

There was a very long pause, until finally Peter said, "Moony, you might want to explain before Prongs literally explodes."

"Oh, she's been sleeping in here since New Year's. We made a pillow fort." He gestured to the mess on the floor. When James' expression continued to look strained, he added quickly, "It wasn't like that. We didn't – I mean – I would never do that. Not with Lily. I'm pretty sure there's some sort of friend code that you're not allowed to kiss people who your best friend has been in love with for five years."

James let out a sigh of relief, his hand going through his already-messy hair. "Right, of course you wouldn't." He grinned apologetically. "I just thought that because she and I fought at the Slug Club, she might want…"

"Revenge?" Remus suggested, smiling. "I wouldn't rule out that possibility."

James shrugged, giving Remus a friendly pat on the back as he passed and sat down on what was left of his bed, dumping his trunk on the floor, he spotted a slightly crumbled note on his bedside table.

"It's from McGonagall," he said, sounding alarmed. He scanned the note quickly, growing more concerned with each line. "Shit. She says I have to do a test? Because I'm failing? But I actually do homework for her! I can't be doing that badly, surely?"

"Maybe she's got the wrong person," Peter suggested weakly. He's had enough experience of being on McGonagall's bad side for low marks before he'd dropped transfiguration.

"Or maybe it has something to do with the fact that Moony is currently pissing himself," Sirius said, raising an eyebrow at Remus, who was laughing quietly into his hands.

"Moony," James said distrustfully, "Why is this funny?"

Remus attempted to compose himself. "I may possibly have dared Lily to write that. Honestly I completely forgot about it – we were a tad drunk at the time."

"Well thank fuck for that," James replied. He looked back at the note. "I'm actually impressed by how well Evans can forge a note. It could come in really handy! I wonder if since the two of you have been spending so much time together she'd –"

"Don't go there, Prongs," Sirius sighed, throwing an abandoned t-shirt towards his head. "Have you forgotten everything we talked about at Christmas? We've decided you're going to stop obsessing over her, remember?"

"I know!" James said, exasperated. "I'm just saying I'd like to actually try and be her friend."

Sirius scoffed, shaking his head at James, but Remus smiled and said, "that sounds like a good idea." Moving to the centre of the room he quickly started to mutter enchantments under his breath and with a flick of his wand sent the mess on the floor spiralling back to their rightful places.

"See," James smirked at Sirius and Peter, who had been partially trapped by his mattress as it tried to flop back onto the bed, "it's a good idea."

As usual when everyone returned from Christmas, the afternoon went by very quickly - they lazily unpacked their belongings and said hello to everyone who popper their head around the door to chat, ate too much for dinner in the great hall, and passed the evening playing gobstones and talking about how they'd all spent the break. Sirius happily told Remus and Peter about how, in the absence of snow, he and James had bought a few cans of whipped cream from a muggle supermarket and covered a section of the garden in it.

Most of the house didn't make it beyond midnight: even after being reunited with their friends, the exhaustion of the long journey and, undoubtedly the last minute Christmas pudding they'd been fed by kind grandparents before leaving, was enough to send most people to bed at a decent hour. Despite having his charms class at 10am the next morning, Sirius however, found that he couldn't get to sleep - unlike his friends, the long day seemed to have given him a renewed sense of energy, and the more he thought about how many hours of sleep he could manage if he fell asleep right now, the more his brain happily buzzed on, apparently oblivious to the lateness of the hour. It had just gone 2am when he crawled out of bed and down to the common room. Grabbing the marauders map on the way he threw on the nearest robe - it might have been his – or maybe Peter's and tucked his wand into his pocket. If in doubt, Sirius thought, always go to the kitchens - a cup of tea and something to eat might be just what he needed to make him a little sleepier.

He was half way to the portrait hole when a slightly muffled voice from the other side of the room caught him off guard.

"Going off for another late night shag?" Lily asked, as Sirius jumped and turned to face her - "because as a prefect I have to object."

"What the hell, Evans?" Sirius replied, startled. She was tucked up in the windowsill, sitting on one of the cushions from the sofa with her legs crossed in front of her. "Firstly, no that is not what I'm doing, and secondly, doesn't your perfecting also decree that you should be asleep by now? Or at least not scaring the crap out of people."

Lily frowned. "I couldn't sleep."

"Got too used to sleeping on the floor with Remus?" Abandoning all thoughts of the kitchens, Sirius strode across the room and perched next to her on the windowsill. "I can see the appeal, we tried to go camping one Christmas but he just moaned about his feet turning blue – no appreciation."

Lily shuffled to the side so he'd have more room - or possibly just to get further away from him - and once Sirius could see her up close he noticed that her eyes looked red and strained. "You alright, Evans?"

"Of course." She crossed her arms over chest. It was strange for any of the Gryffindor boys to ask how she was, let alone Sirius Black. But then again, Remus had turned out to be a far better person and friend than she ever would have expected. "It's just... Did Remus say anything to you about me?"

"Don't tell me you really did sleep with him?"

"Oh yeah, every night. Sometimes twice." She sighed; she was too tired for sarcasm, really. "I meant, did he say anything about me being upset?"

Sirius shook his head. "Remus can keep a secret." He paused. "So can I, for that matter."

Lily looked at him sceptically, but she was too tired and had gone too long without telling anyone to show much restraint. "I got a letter on Christmas Day from my sister," she said quietly. "I didn't want to show it to anyone because it felt too private but I just can't stop thinking about it and it's driving me mad." She didn't look at him as she handed him a letter that was crinkled from repeated re-readings. He smoothed it flat on his knee and began reading.

Lily,

Mum insisted I write to tell you my big news, since you weren't here for the announcement at dinner. She's even getting me to send it with your owl because that school of yours doesn't have a normal postal service. I'm sure you'll be as excited as Mum and Dad to hear that Vernon proposed to me, and I said yes, of course; aren't I lucky to have such a successful fiancé? He's recently inherited his father's drill business so as soon as we're married we'll be moving to Surrey where the company is based. We'll be able to afford a lovely home there thanks to Vernon. The wedding will be in July.

Yours sincerely,

Petunia Evans (soon to be Dursley)

"It take it this isn't good news?" Sirius asked, handing the letter back to Lily. He wasn't exactly an expert at family relationships, but the letter seemed awful formal and cold considering it had come from her sister.

"I want to be happy for her," Lily said, "But you'd know how I feel if you'd met her future husband. He's a complete pig - so smug and he thinks he's superior to anyone who doesn't have a fancy new car and a job with a fat paycheck. It's like Petunia wants the exact opposite of my life - I'm learning magic and she's chosen the most mundane, safe, boring middle-class life you could ask for. And the way she talks about him, like saying that he's 'a successful fiancé', it makes me think she doesn't even love him. If she did, maybe all the rest could be excusable, but surely she'll never be happy like this."

"Can't you tell her all that?" Sirius suggested. "Maybe she'd see things straight if you talked to her."

She shook her head. "You read the letter. We used to tell each other everything but now it's like I barely know her. She'd never listen to me."

Sirius shifted uncomfortably. The robe he'd picked up definitely wasn't his, and the too short material on his arms was irritating and scratchy. He wasn't exactly good at this - the whole comforting people thing, especially when he and Lily weren't even friends. It was simple with James, who he could punch on the arm and cheer up with a stupid joke - he didn't think that would work quite as well on Lily.

"It's not your fault," he said at last. "If there's nothing you can do, it's not your fault."

"She was always jealous of the magic," Lily said, shaking her head, "if I'd just -"

"That's not how it works." Sirius argued. "Did you shove it in her face, or laugh at her because she's a muggle?"

"No!" Lily said, affronted, "of course not!"

"Exactly," Sirius replied, not looking at her. "Me and Regulus were really close when we were kids, I quite liked being a big brother, you know, looking out for him and stuff. But all of that changed when I started school. For a long time I thought it was my fault for not protecting him from the stupid pure blood ideas our family is mad on, but he's not a child any more, and neither is your sister. Sometimes people make bad decisions and you just have to live with it."

Lily didn't say anything for a while, and when Sirius eventually turned to look at her he saw a tear slip down her cheek, which she quickly wiped away with the back of her hand. "Thanks," she said. "I needed to hear that."

"No problem, Evans," he replied. "What am I here for if not dramatic heart-to-hearts at half two in the morning?"

She laughed. "You know what? You're alright, Black."

"You're not so bad yourself."

She hopped off the windowsill, her bare feet sinking into the thick rug covering the floor. "I think I can probably sleep now, so goodnight - and thanks again."

"You sure you don't want to join me for a trip to the kitchens? The house elves are really very accommodating."

"Oh, I'm well acquainted with them. They always make excellent scones."

Leaving Sirius to ponder whether or not she'd been joking, she headed back to her dormitory, but just as she reached the top of the stairs, he called, "Hey, Evans?"

She turned back and leant over the banister to look at him. "Yeah?"

"Better not tell James about this conversation. He's already got his knickers in a twist about you and Remus."

She rolled her eyes. "Don't worry, our secret is safe. I'll go back to telling McGonagall about your pranks and making sarcastic comments about your potion making skills in the morning."

He grinned. "Night, Evans."

"Night, Black."