They held each other for a long time, eyes screwed shut and hands clenched in shirts. Allen exhaled shakily, tightening his grip on Lavi and slowly pulling back. Lavi did the same, looking up at Allen and smiling weakly.

"I think I'm struggling… right now." He said.

Allen laughed a little, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand, "You?"

"Yeah…" Lavi looked away and touched his chest lightly, and Allen's eyes followed the motion. His stormy eyes widened slightly and he looked at Lavi's face.

"Your heart…?"

"Yeah. Your evil twin seems to… to think this means I'm. The heart. I guess." Lavi ran his fingers through his hair. There was a hum inside of him that he didn't want to get too close to- a call from something that Lavi didn't understand and couldn't place. Allen looked at his chest again.

"You were worried about me?"

"Huh?"

Allen blinked, then looked embarrassed, "A-Ah. Well, Apocryphos said something about the heart being worried about me I think? I was a little preoccupied though."

"Well, whoever that is was… right I guess. I didn't have any idea what was happening to you and with everything that happened…"

Allen smiled and brushed his hand against Lavi's cheek, "Well, next time you're worried please don't send a living innocence to try and fuse with me. I think a letter would probably suffice."

"... What?" Lavi could feel the dumbfounded expression on his face and Allen laughed gently, shaking his head.

"Long story. I don't know that I'll… have enough time to explain."

They both looked down, standing close and hands still on each other. Lavi frowned, hyper aware of Allen's right hand resting on his shoulder. He licked his lips and looked up at the other boy, watching the way his face shifted as he thought.

"I don't know that either of us have enough time." He said softly, looking up at Lavi finally. Lavi nodded a little, meeting Allen's eye.

"No, we probably don't." Questions he should ask ran through his mind- things that would be relevant for logs, for the continued recording of the war and Allen's role in it, but Lavi's tongue stayed silent. He hadn't seen the Bookman in a long time.

They both leaned in at the same time, but Lavi didn't pull back. He hesitated pausing just far away enough that he could laugh it off if he had to, but Allen crossed that line. Soft lips pressed to Lavi's, chaste and warm. He thought his heart might stop again, but it stuttered along and sped up. Lavi felt Allen shift to slide his arms around Lavi's neck and he responded in kind, dropping his hands to Allen's waist.

Allen pulled back after a moment, leaning their foreheads together and looking at Lavi. Lavi smiled a little and kissed Allen again, closing his eye. the younger man sighed softly against him and deepened the kiss, making Lavi pull them together tighter, desperate to keep Allen in his arms.

They parted again, lips wet and pink. Lavi let out a laugh that he knew sounded forced- more of a bark than an actual laugh, really- and leaned his head against Allen's. He wasn't sure which one of them was shaking.

"I'm sorry, Allen."

"I knew things would pan out this way, mostly." Allen said, voice hardly louder than a murmur.

"Mostly, eh? What surprised you?"

Allen slid a hand down from Lavi's neck to his chest- resting the black left hand over the still tender wound, "This, for one. And also…" He leaned up again, pressing a short kiss to Lavi's lips and pulling back to let his breath ghost over them, "That, for another."

Lavi realized he was the one shaking.

"You and me both." The tremor in his voice made Allen pull back to look at him properly and Lavi turned his bad side to Allen to hide the tears threatening to fall again.

"Lavi?"

"Sorry, I just." He scrubbed his face and looked at Allen again, "It's not fair." The white haired youth looked surprised for a second, then smiled. Lavi didn't like the look of defeat in his eyes.

"No, its not."

"I'm scared." Lavi said, swallowing thickly, "And I… it hurts."

"It does." Allen took lavi's face in his hands, brushing his thumb against Lavi's cheekbones and looking at him, "I think we… did everything we could have though. I was… I've been doomed from the start. I didn't really want you to get pulled into it but here we are. I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault I fell in love with you." The words were out of his mouth before Lavi had processed them, and he stiffened, staring down at an equally surprised Allen.

"Fell in-" Lavi made to pull away, embarrassed but Allen held him, staring unflinchingly into his eye, "Do you mean that?"

"I-I…" He hesitated, struggling with the part of his mind that his teachings from the Bookmen lived. There was a shine to Allen's eyes that he'd never seen before and Lavi found himself melting against it.

"Yeah. I do."

Allen let out a shuddering exhale and leaned his head on Lavi's shoulder, "What a mess."

Lavi nodded in agreement, leaning his head against Allen's and thinking about their options. He wondered if Neah would be generous with how much time he gave them and Lavi's heart ached. He hands started rubbing Allen's back absently, hoping it was some comfort to him.

It made Lavi feel better, somehow.

"You should run." Allen said finally, making Lavi start out of his thoughts.

"No."

"No? Lavi, if you really are the heart, the others need you." Allen pulled back, looking at him seriously.

"Absolutely not. He'll kill you." A pained look crossed Allen's face and he looked away, clenching his jaw.

"I'm already dead, Lavi. Neah won. The only reason I'm here at all is because he let me be here and… after this he's not going to keep me around."

Lavi wondered if heartbreak was supposed to be such a physical sensation.

They stood there, arms wrapped around each other, for a long few moments as Lavi let that sink in. Allen leaned against him. It hurt more than his innocence had.

"I want to be here. If these are your last moments, let me be here." Lavi didn't like how much it sounded like begging, but Allen looked up at him and it made his heart swell.

"... Okay." His voice was small and Lavi kissed him again, trying to push everything he was feeling into Allen through his lips. Regret. Desperation. Heartache. Uncertainty. But, above all else, Love.

Lavi's back hit the wall, which surprised him a little because he hadn't noticed himself moving but Allen pressed against him and kissed him back with the same desperate enthusiasm. Nothing around them mattered for a while.

He wasn't sure when, but they'd found their way to the ornate bed that sat to the far side of the room. Lavi sighed, pressing his nose to Allen's hair as he traced senseless patterns on Lavi's chest. They stretched out on the sheets together lazily, and if Lavi closed his eyes he could pretend that it wasn't the last time they could be like this. Pressed together in a tangle of warm limbs and lazy affection.

"Lavi," Allen said lightly, waiting for Lavi to rumble in response before continuing, "Will you pass along a few messages for me?" That drew a raised eyebrow, and Lavi peeked open his eye to look down at Allen.

"I just… I guess… tell everyone I'm sorry." He sighed, leaning his head on Lavi's shoulder again, "Lenalee especially. I broke my promise."

"... I'll let them know."

"And tell Kanda you're welcome, and also that he's an idiot. Tell him to get out of the order as soon as he can."

Lavi chuckled a little at that but didn't say anything else, wrapping his arms around Allen and holding him close. Allen kept mumbling names and words meant for their ears and Lavi just listened, nodding, committing every word to memory. It didn't take Allen that long to run out of things to say and he sighed, closing his eyes.

"I'm tired." He said finally and Lavi nodded, "You should probably go now."

"Just another few minutes." Lavi said, leaning their foreheads together. Allen nodded and took Lavi's hand, lacing their fingers together.

"I love you too, you know." Allen whispered and Lavi felt himself start to tremble, "I should have said that before. I love you."

Lavi opened his eyes and looked at Allen's face. He was smiling and something in Lavi broke. He clutched at Allen, yanking him close so the other boy wouldn't see the pain on his face.

"Fuck. Shut up. Stop being… Just stop." Allen didn't fight him, holding him back and sighing against Lavi's skin.

"Sorry." Allen said as Lavi hiccuped and closed his eyes again, trying to pull himself back together. He was silent for a few minutes, giving Lavi enough time to compose himself before he whispered, "I don't think you have much more of a window before Neah makes it so you can't leave."

Lavi grit his teeth but sat up slowly, not looking at Allen. He eased himself out of the bed and heard the creak of the springs as Allen got out as well. Lavi's shirt was in tatters still but he got himself ready as well as he could.

Allen brushed past him, walking over to the window and gently pulling it open. A lazy breeze ruffled his hair as he looked at the redhead. Lavi walked over and took Allen's hand, looking at him seriously.

"Get home safe."

"Stay alive, if you can." He said but Allen just smiled, looking up at Lavi with eyes that said more than his words could have. Lavi leaned down and kissed Allen again, lingering for a moment before turning to the window and jumping out of it as he pulled his innocence from his chest.

He had barely thought the word extend before the head of his hammer was already hitting the ground, and the handle was stretching to get him away from the castle. Lavi landed in a tree not far away before repeating the motion, not looking back as he headed into the world with Allen's last words echoing in his mind.