Chapter 20 – Aftermath

James had barely slept, and he didn't think anyone else had either; he'd heard Sirius tossing and turning, and Peter's typical snores were noticeably absent. Normally after a full moon they got to bed shortly before dawn and slept soundly for the few hours before they needed to get up for classes or Quidditch practice. He was used to having to function even when exhausted, but normally he still felt happy and exhilarated from their night time adventures, not to mention pleased about being able to help Remus. But this time they'd failed him spectacularly. For most of the night, James had lain in bed alternating between anger at Sirius and worry about Remus, and he hadn't even had any emotions to spare to feel mad at Snape for being a nosy git in the first place.

When a sliver of sunlight cut through the curtains of James' four-poster, he decided to officially give sleep up as a lost cause and slipped out of bed. He put on his glasses and got dressed as quickly and quietly as possible in the dark, but as he opened the dormitory door he heard Peter's voice. "Hey, Prongs? Are you going to see Remus?"

"Yeah."

There was a pause, and James thought perhaps Peter was about to volunteer to come with him. Then he said, "Tell him I hope he's okay. Let me know if I can do anything."

"Sure, Pete. See you in a bit."

The corridors were deserted, since presumably the rest of the castle was still sleeping easily. It was also very dark and cold with only the first glints of sunlight coming through the windows, and James hadn't thought to put a cloak on. He rubbed his arms as he hurried down the stairs, wondering for the hundredth time that night what he was going to tell Remus. It would have been a relief to walk into the warmth of the hospital wing, with two fires blazing at opposite ends of the room, if it weren't for the news he was about to deliver.

Only one bed was occupied, where Madam Pomphrey was bending over Remus and applying a potion to his wounds. James had seen him get patched up enough times to know that the potion stung, but it worked quickly. Normally, Remus' scratches had faded significantly within only a couple of hours, but as James approached the bed he realised that on this occasion, that was unlikely to be the case.

Madam Pomphrey looked up when she heard James' footsteps. "You're here early, Mr Potter. I'm just about done tending to these wounds – I just wish I knew why they're so much worse than usual." She looked momentarily concerned, then shook her head and smiled reassuringly at James, "I'm sure you have plenty to discuss so I'll be in my office. Tell me when you leave and I'll give Mr Lupin a sleeping potion." Remus began to protest, but she looked at him sternly. "You won't be going to classes this morning while you're in this condition. Perhaps you'll have recovered enough by the afternoon, but I make no promises."

She patted Remus on the shoulder and retreated to her office. James gave her a forced smile as she left and pulled a chair closer to Remus' bed. "How're you doing, Moony?"

"Alright. Not sure where all these scratches came from. Did I get into a fight with a hippogrff or something last night?" he joked.

"Not exactly." James saw Remus' smile fade.

"Okay… What happened?" There was rising panic in his voice. "Oh god, I didn't hurt anyone did I?"

"No! No, you didn't. You've not done anything wrong, Remus." James ran a hand through his hair; it was even messier than usual, which was an achievement he'd usually be proud of.

"Then what is it?"

James let out a long sigh. "The extra scratches are because we weren't there last night. We couldn't - something happened. We weren't there to help you so you did this" – he gestured at Remus' bandaged chest – "to yourself. I'm sorry."

"Oh." Remus bit his lip. "Why weren't you there? I mean, I don't blame you, obviously. But something happened?"

"I'd better not tell you until you're better - you know what Madam Pomphrey is like about you getting nice quiet bed rest."

"James," he said firmly. "I'm fine. I can handle it. Just tell me."

Meeting Remus' very determined gaze, James nodded reluctantly. "Right. I don't really know how to explain but... Snape knows about you."

Remus' nose scrunched up in confusion. "Snape knows I'm a werewolf?"

"Yeah. He was - I dunno why - Sirius got mad and said something to him about the willow, so the idiot went down to check it out."

James examined Remus' expression carefully; his eyes widened and he opened his mouth as if to speak, then closed it again. He had gone very still and tense, his jaw set and his scarred hands tightening into fists around the bed sheets.

"If there's something to be said in Sirius' defence, now would be the time to tell me," Remus said. His voice was cold and flat, the way it only got when he was furious; it didn't happen often, but James had known him for five and a half years and could recognise when he was truly angry.

"Snape was winding him up and he didn't think he'd take it seriously, I guess." James spread his hands in a shrug that indicated he would never completely understand the mind of Sirius Black. "He didn't mean for anything to happen - not that it did," he added hastily when Remus looked alarmed. "Snape's fine. We stopped him in time, but he saw you. He won't tell anyone, though. McGonagall made him swear and no one in their right mind would cross her when she really means it."

Remus nodded slowly. "So - what - Sirius just came and said he'd told Snape about the willow and you all went after him?"

"Er - no. I think Sirius completely forgot that he'd said anything about it. He didn't remember until we saw Snape out the window when we were watching for Pomphrey to come back. I told him to go get McGonagall while me and Peter went after Snape."

"Oh." Remus had gone paler than he'd already been - which was very, after such a rough night. He looked like he was either going to cry or punch something, and James watched him with concern to see which it would be, but Remus took a deep breath and managed to hold himself together. "Thanks for - for stopping Snape."

"Of course," James replied softly. "Remus, are you alright? Really?"

He let out something that was either a laugh or a sob. "Not particularly."

"If there's anything I can do then you know I will - Pete said the same."

"Yeah. Thanks." Remus smiled thinly. "I think now might be about time for that sleeping potion."

"Sure, I'll tell Madam Pomphrey." James got up and squeezed his shoulder on his way to her office. He hung around while Remus drank the potion and drifted into a hopefully restorative sleep. "When we he wake up?" he asked.

"About eleven I should think."

"Right - I'll be back then. Thanks." He turned to leave, shoving his hands deep into the pockets of his robes.

"Don't skip class for it!" she called after him, and James assured her he wouldn't before stepping out into the now-bustling corridors, letting the hospital wing doors close heavily behind him.

Lily had just left transfiguration, waved Mary and Dorcas off to their history class, and was looking forward to having the rest of the afternoon free to finish up her Defence essay and check on Remus after the full moon. The April morning looked brisk and grey outside, but the castle was warm as usual, and she was happy to part with her friends in favour of the common room.

She hadn't seen James, Peter or Sirius all day, and suspected they were hauled up back in the dorm with Remus, or else still at the hospital wing. She was wondering whether she should stop off on the way to the tower – just to see if Remus was still there or not - when she very nearly walked straight into someone.

Snape stepped back and folded his arms smugly across his chest. "Well, I hope you're pleased with who you've replaced me with."

"What?" Lily asked. She hadn't spoken to him since Slughorn's party, and didn't have any particular interest in breaking the vow of silence now.

"You start hanging around with Potter and that lot, think they're your friends? Well last night Potter and Black tried to kill me," he said matter of factly.

"He tried to kill you?" Lily asked sceptically, rolling her eyes. "What with? A bad pun?"

"Very funny," Snape snarled, "but you won't be laughing when they try and feed you to a wild animal. Ask McGonagall if you don't believe me, they were probably in her office all night. Should have been expelled if you ask me - are you getting this? I could have been killed."

"You're actually serious," Lily said, shocked. Snape may have grown into a terrible person over the years, but she'd known him long enough to be able to tell when he was and wasn't lying.

"Like I keep telling you," he replied. "Potter is dangerous."

"Did you say a wild animal?" Lily asked, suddenly panicked.

Snape glared at her. "Oh, I should have known. Yes. A disgusting animal that shouldn't be here."

"James sent you to -" Lily said, too distracted to pay much attention to the implications of Snape's comment. She couldn't believe that James would do that. Had they actually tried to get Remus to hurt someone? "I have to go," she said hurriedly, pushing past Snape and rushing up staircase after staircase until she finally reached the common room. Without stopping to knock or ask permission, she burst into the boys' dormitory, rounding on James before she had time to process the shocked silence that followed her entrance.

"What the hell is your problem?" she demanded, glancing once at Peter, who was sitting beside James on the bed. Remus was on the other side of the room in his own bed, tucked up beneath three layers of blankets and still looking as though he were at death's door. Sirius was sat on the floor close by - she hadn't noticed him when she came in - strangely absent from the rest of them with his legs crossed beneath him.

"Lily, this really isn't a good time," James said calmly, standing up in the hopes of directing whatever had upset her out of the dorm.

"Oh really?" she snapped, "because I just had a very interesting conversation with Severus about you."

James sighed. "Whatever he told you-"

"That you tried to kill him-"

"Whatever he-"

"By using your best friend as bait!'" Lily finished, gesturing wildly at Remus, who was watching them worriedly. "And to think I was actually starting to consider us friends."

"You don't understand," James attempted, desperate to diffuse the situation.

"What don't I understand James?" she scoffed. "That you're a selfish prick? Because I thought so for years, yet here I am, I keep coming back and getting caught up in this shit like you using my friend to hurt someone."

"Lily," Remus said quietly from across the room, instantly silencing everyone. "It wasn't James' fault."

"You don't have to defend him," she said more gently, still staring furiously at James.

"It was my fault," Sirius put in, almost as quietly as Remus had spoken. "Prongs didn't have anything to do with it."

"If it wasn't for James," Remus explained, "things could have been..." he glanced for a moment at Sirius, and Lily was suddenly painfully aware of the tension between the four of them. The usual easy manner they had as a group had all but vanished, replaced with awkward pauses and uncertain looks. "Well, it could have been a lot worse."

"Oh," Lily said. That explained why Sirius was in a completely different corner of the room to the others, looking resolutely at the floor. She looked back to James. "Right, well, sorry. I just - Severus said - never mind. I don't know why I listened to him." She paused. "But he really did nearly die?"

Everyone in the room turned to Sirius, who seemed to shrink a little.

"Yeah," James said. "But nobody was trying to kill him."

"I might be in a minute," Lily muttered. She shook her head and turned to Remus. "Sorry for barging in. I'm sure you need rest."

"That's okay. I've slept plenty already."

"I'll come back in a bit - if that's okay?" she asked and Remus nodded. "But first I have some more yelling to do."

He smiled faintly. "Have fun."

After taking one last brief and excruciatingly awkward look at everyone in the room, Lily left, leaving them to the silence they'd been in since James and Peter had helped Remus back from the hospital wing half an hour ago.

"Should we go have dinner?" Peter said eventually. "We can bring you some food back, Moony."

"Good idea," James replied. "Let's go."

Sirius seemed entirely unsure whether he was meant to go with them or not, since he didn't seem particularly welcome either way, but he was saved having to make that decision by an owl tapping at the window.

"Oh," he said, a feeling of dread rising in his chest. "That'll be from your parents." He glanced at James. "I'd better answer it."

James raised his eyebrows at Remus, who shrugged. "He can stay here," he said in a tone that was evidently meant to suggest he was entirely indifferent to Sirius' presence.

"Alright. See you in a bit."

Sirius opened the window reluctantly - he thought it said something that the bird knew him well enough to swoop inside and perch casually on his arm while he untied the letter from her leg.

He half expected the letter to be a howler, but when he opened it, no sound came out.

Sirius dear,

The letter we got from Professor McGonagall last night was alarming to say the least. I know you assured us that there had been a misunderstanding, and Harold and I don't know the ins and outs of it, but the accusation that you very nearly got someone badly hurt, intentionally or not, is serious all the same. I know it's not in your nature to be violent, but you need to try not to let what other people say bother you so much, then hopefully we can avoid situations like these.

Do try to stay out of trouble, at least until all of this has blown over.
We love you.

Katherine

Sirius stared at the letter. He wasn't sure what to make of it really, but had the distinct impression that if they hadn't had time to think how to word it, they would have seemed much more angry. How do you find out that someone you let live in your home caused so much damage and say 'try to stay out of trouble'? Sirius wished someone would yell at him again. When James was shouting last night at least he knew they were still on speaking terms.

Remus watched Sirius fold the letter in half and stuff it in the cluttered drawer of his bedside table. He couldn't help pitying him just a little – James' parents had almost certainly not said anything too harsh, but Sirius had been so grateful when the Potters had taken him in, and now he'd disappointed them. He must feel terrible. Which he should, Remus reminded himself.

"Remus?" Sirius said quietly. He was sitting on his bed staring down at his hands.

"Yes?" he replied warily.

"I'm sorry - I know I really messed up and-"

"Can we not do this?" Remus said. Despite sleeping all morning, he felt suddenly very tired. "I just... It's too much. I don't particularly feel like talking to you yet."

Sirius nodded. He got up and gave Remus a brave attempt at a smile. "I understand. I'll leave you alone."

He left very quickly, and Remus was actually grateful to have the room to himself. Everyone was fussing over him even more than usual when all he really wanted was to think and sleep. He tugged the curtains shut around him and rolled onto his side, curling up in the warm sheets and trying not to lie on the worst of his wounds. On second thoughts, maybe thinking could wait.

Lily arrived at the Slytherin common room, walked straight up to the entrance, and knocked. She had no interest in waiting around for someone to tell her the password, and the confused looking fourth year that came to the door would have to do.

"Is Snape in there?" She asked before the girl had a chance to turn her away.

"Er," the girl replied. "I think so." She turned around and glanced behind her, before disappearing and closing the door in Lily's face. Damn, she thought. She should have just pushed her way into the room, or called out for Snape herself; now she really would have to wait for someone else to come along.

Then the common room door creaked back open, and Lily realised that the girl had simply gone to get Snape, who slunk through the door looking, disgustingly, pleased to see her. His expression immediately changed when he saw the look on her face, and without preamble Lily pulled him to one side, where they were less likely to be overheard were anyone to walk past, and said fiercely, "I can't believe I listened to you."

"I presume Potter talked you round, then," Snape commented drying, which only served to make Lily more furious at him.

"Don't you dare speak to me like that," she spat. "I can think for myself Severus, and I should have known you're a lying git who would tell me anything to get his way. Potter didn't try to kill you, he saved you, and if you hadn't listened to Black's stupid comment you wouldn't have been in any danger in the first place!"

"Oh, so now it's my fault I was almost killed by a dangerous dark -

"Listen to me," Lily interrupted, taking a threatening step closer to him. "If you tell anyone about Remus, you'll have me to answer to."

"What is wrong with everyone?" Snape shouted. "People like him shouldn't even be allowed to -"

"He is my friend," Lily snapped, "and if you breathe a word I will -

"What?" Snape said sarcastically. "Kill me yourself? I really don't think you're up to it, Evans."

"No. I wouldn't kill you Severus, I'm not like your new friends." She moved away from him, back into the bright light of the corridor. "But I know you, and I can tell them all sorts of interesting facts, cant I? How about your nice collection of muggle books or how pathetic it was when you tried to put a tracking spell on your muggle dad because you were so desperate to find him? I'm sure your pureblood friends would love to know all about that. Don't forget that I know things, and I will not let you get one of my best friends thrown out of school without making your life a misery."

She shrugged, so worked up that it was easy to turn on her heel and storm down the corridor back towards the staircase. She didn't think Snape had moved an inch when she cast a last look over her shoulder before climbing the stairs back to the entrance hall, and couldn't help but be glad, because she had meant every word.

If she was going to be friends with the likes of Remus and James, she was at least going to do it well.