Chapter 5 - Work and Conversation
Joey nearly ran into Sheldon and Leonard coming in from work as she dashed down the stairs, with a pair of roller blades slung over her shoulder. "Sorry boys, see ya later!" was all they heard as she disappeared around the corner.
Sheldon tutted, "That woman lacks a clear understanding of stair etiquette."
Leonard knew better but he couldn't help but sputter, "Stair etiquette?" He immediately regretted it when Sheldon started in on the etiquette of using public stairs, but didn't have to be annoyed long, because Penny came down the stairs on her way to work and she looked lovely as always. He sighed heavily. She was the perfect woman, someday their babies would be smart and beautiful. It didn't occur to him that he had a lovely girlfriend, who could also make smart babies; she would also be very cross to find him thinking of such about another woman.
"Hey Sweetie, Leonard, how was your day?" Penny asked politely, saving Leonard from hearing about stairs for a little while at least.
"Great," gushed Leonard, because his day was always made better by Penny's smiling face.
Sheldon, on the other hand simply said, "My day was uneventful."
"Alright then," Penny smiled at them both, "I guess I'll see ya later!" Then she was off down the stairs leaving Leonard to face the reality that indeed Sheldon had not forgotten the stair etiquette dissertation and the smile fell off his face.
It happened that Penny and Joey both returned home from work at the same time and ascended the stairs side by side, a clear breach of stair etiquette, but since Sheldon wasn't around it didn't really matter. "Today was your first day right?" Penny asked tiredly.
"Yep. But it was mostly fun. I got to skate. Music wasn't terrible, mostly. I might stab myself in the ears if I have to hear 'Single Ladies' one more time. It's not a bad song per say, but I swear they played it a dozen times tonight!" Joey chirped, clearly not tired, which made Penny a little jealous.
"Oh I hear ya." Penny agreed. "I feel dead on my feet and it's days like these that I really wanna find out what's up with the elevator."
"Working customer service is the pits," Joey agreed. "Nothing is ever good enough and every customer thinks they are the only ones."
"Ohmigod, you are so right! What the heck is up with that? I don't act like that when I am out shopping or eating!" Penny exclaimed, getting worked up. "Some kid threw crayons at me and his parents were just all, 'Oh boys will be boys.' Like la-di-da, assault is so cute. I think everyone should have to work in customer service before they are set loose on the world."
Joey held out her hand for a fist bump, "Preach it baby!"
They reached the fourth floor landing and said goodnight, Penny waving to Joey as she unlocked her door. Joey continued up and was surprised by a ping from her phone as she jammed her key in the lock. She entered and stuck her skates in the bin by the door and answered her phone, "Hello, Joey here."
From the phone, "Hi this is Nancy, I'm calling because a friend said you're the girl to call about costumes. I'm having trouble finding a fireproof or resistant fabric that is stretchy."
Joey laughed, "Are we cosplaying a firefighter or something?"
Giggles from the phone, "Uh no. Actually I do fire dancing and while I usually just wear my drawers, I need to develop an outfit for a burlesque performance. Something that I can easily remove but that I can be a little less worried about catching fire while I get out of it. I dunno."
Joey shrugged, "Well, I'm not sure what might be appropriate for that application." She grabbed a pad of paper and a pencil, "Gimme your number and I'll do some research and get back to you later k."
Joey met Nancy in the lobby just as Howard and Raj came through the front doors. "Joey, mademoiselle," He started in, reaching for her hand.
She cut him off, "Edward, I swear if you touch me..." Raj laughed and whispered in his ear. "I know Raj!" He responded annoyed, before turning back to her, "It's Howard, but you are forgiven for I'm told you have trouble with names. And who is this delightful young lady here with you this evening?"
He indicated Nancy, who snorted and raised her eyebrows, "Nancy. And what the Hell-o are you wearing there stud? It's a bit warm for turtlenecks ain't it? Is that a roll of quarters in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"
Raj groaned, then whispered frantically in Howard's ear, Howard waved him off, stuttering back quietly, but not nearly quietly enough, "I know you said that ages ago, be quiet, she's totally into me!" Then he he turned to Nancy and oozed what he considered charm, "Indeed I am very pleased to meet you Nancy. Would you allow me to escort you up the stairs?" He bowed low over his hand, and nearly peed himself when she took his hand and allowed him to lead her up the stairs.
Joey and Raj just stared after them, completely blown by this turn of events. They shared a look, then Joey nodded, "Well that went, uh, well. What the heck just happened here?" Raj, on account of the female companion could only shrug and look concerned.
They started up the stairs and Joey couldn't help but state, "So Penny mentioned you don't talk to her. You also don't seem to talk to me. But you were talking to Ed er Howard there, so I gotta know, what's up with that? Is it chicks in general?"
He nodded along as she spoke and at the last question he nearly nodded his head off.
"Ok, so just chicks. You ever think of learning sign language so you have a back up? Holy crap, what about at your work? Your boss isn't a lady huh?"
Raj shrugged at the first bit, nodded in thought of the second and his eyes got really really big when she mentioned his work and he shook his head in a negative. Then he mimed opening a beer and drinking it, then pretended to talk to her.
"Wait, you can talk to a girl if you have a drink? How the heck did you figure that out? That's wild." He nodded agreement and they alighted on the fourth floor landing to find Howard pushed up against the wall with Nancy glued to his face. They both squeaked and rushed for the next set of stairs.
"Bless my great aunts frilly knickers, that was bad. I feel like I need a drink! Or bleach for my brain." Joey said, vocalising a sort of gross sound like, 'yurgh'. Raj was delicately banging his head into the wall next to her door. She quickly opened the door and ushered him in, "Let me see if I can find something to drink, wait I'm jumping to an assumption, did you mean 'drink' as in any fluid or like alcohol only?"
He shook his head no to the first part, then nodded yes to the second part.
She rummaged around in her cupboards, "I don't drink very often, but I usually have a bit of rum, for those times I'm feeling it. Oh look there it is!" She pulled her head out of the cupboard and hopped down off the counter, "I wonder why I stuck it up there. Oh well," She poured a shot into a cup and handed it over. "Please don't get wasted though, cause that's just not cool." He nodded and gulped the drink, gagging a bit at the burn on the end.
"Thank you. Sorry about earlier. Howards a pig but that lady, what the heck was that? Who is she?" Raj blurted out.
"Oh my gawd," Joey cooed, "are you from another country or is that an affectation? I mean this is Hollyweird after all. No offense."
He gaped at her, "Uh no, I'm from India and I studied at the University of Cambridge, this is all me baby."
It was her turn to gape. "Baby. Well alrighty then. So what do you do? Penny mentioned most of you guys were doctors, but not medical doctors right?"
Now Raj tried to be smooth, "I'm an astrophysicist, I discovered a planetary body and was in People magazine. Speaking of heavenly bodies..." he opined, and was cut off swiftly.
"Whoa boy, do not tell me that under all that you're just another douche canoe! Seriously?" Joey cringed away, disappointed, she had had hopes, but there they went down to toilet.
"No no, I swear. I just always wanted to use that line, but I don't get very many chances to talk to women." Raj tried to save himself, "Aside from Penny most women just ignore me when they realise I can't talk to them. They think I'm weird. Ok I am weird, especially when I am whispering in Howard's ear. But still, you tried to talk to me and stuff. That's really cool."
Joey was saved from having to respond by a knock at her door. She found Howard and Nancy on the other side. "Joey, may I present my lady, Nancy. I seem to have distracted her from her appointment. My apologies." Howard oozed, bowing to her.
"Right, thanks for bringing her up Howard." She turned to lead Nancy along to her office area and realised that both guys were just standing there. "Sorry, this is not your appointment, if you'd like one, take a card from the shelf there by the door and see yourselves out, thanks buh-bye."
She led Nancy to a chair and then sat at the desk, where they began to discus the fire dancing, what sort of fibers were best and just exactly how she planned to strip while doing whatever it was she did with the fire.
Meanwhile on the stairs down, "Dude!" Raj lit into Howard. "I was totally talking to her and you had to interrupt. You got to like first base or something and I barely got to talk! What the frak man!"
"Oh hey, don't blame me, Nancy had an appointment she had to keep. She wanted to stay and make out with moi, but she's got to go to work later." Howard preened. "At least I got her digits!" He waggled his eyebrows lewdly.
"Well at least Joey invited me to take a card so now I have her number. Not that I can call her, cause I acted like an arse there right before you came." Raj said mournfully. "She may not accept my call even if I tried."
"Well you could text her. What the heck does she do anyway that she has people come for appointments?" Howard asked grabbing for the card in Raj's hand as they reached 4A.