Chapter 8 - The Waste Hits the Spinning Turbine
Raj was fairly terrified. He had stopped at every bathroom he passed in an attempt to quell his bladder. He was unsure if this would produce the desired result as he had not peed at all in the last go. He was hoping for the best, but wore a Depends just in case. He kept checking his reflection, hoping no one could tell.
Howard was there as he walked up to Dr. Gablehauser's door, he also looked terrified. Raj looked around, 'Where was Leonard, he should be here by now?' Howard looked so relieved to see him, he nearly smiled, then he remembered that he could be losing his job today and be off to the less than glorious subcontinent of India far too soon.
He reached over and opened the door, ushering in Howard, only to have Dr. Gablehauser's dragon lady secretary inform him, "You need to report to conference room four." Raj and Howard shared a look, both knowing this was bad news. The only reason they would need C4 was if a lot of people were involved.
They walked quickly to the conference rooms, and found more people than they expected milling around the hallway. They received a lot of hostile looks and had to squeeze past a few people to get to room four. If they were hoping to be relieved upon walking in, they were wrong and Raj was glad he'd worn the depends.
Dr. Gablehauser was standing by the front of the room at a podium. Behind him a screen was set up showing a blank office wall. He saw them coming and pointed at two chairs right up front that sat empty, their names printed on sheets of paper taped to the seats. Sheldon was there, looking jittery and at the end a chair labeled for Leonard was empty. Raj slipped into his chair, greeting Sheldon with a, "Hey buddy. Where's Leonard?"
Sheldon glanced at him, "Leonard did not deign to grace me with his presence this morning and though I didn't really want to speak with him anyway, I was forced to take the bus. They wouldn't let me use the bungees either. It was a harrowing trip."
"Dude, we were coming here too, you could have asked for a ride." Raj squeaked, watching Sheldon's eyebrows climb up his hairline.
"Indeed, because you have proven to be so reliable of late." Sheldon retorted.
Raj had no comeback to this, seeing where they were and why; Howard, wisely, kept his mouth shut, to better keep his feet out of it.
Suddenly Dr. Gablehauser was calling for attention and several people were seen crowding into the screen. Leonard still hadn't showed and that did not bode well for his chances of continued employment. Scientific malfeasance was taken quite seriously at Caltech. How could they claim to have the best scientific minds working for them, working towards world wide goals, when one or more of those minds would deliberately tamper with the findings of a group work. Even if the lead scientist happened to be certifiably cracked.
"There have been some whispers this morning about the recent Arctic expedition led by our own Dr. Sheldon Cooper. We are here to lay the whispers to rest, to get to the full truth of the matter." Dr. Gablehauser began. "I have here three of the four members..." Here he was interrupted by the door swinging open and Leonard rushing through, sweating profusely.
Leonard took in the packed room, the screen of people, all peering at him curiously, then the empty seat next to Howard. He blushed scarlet, apologising as he squeezed through the throng to seat himself under the dire gaze of Dr. Gablehauser.
"As I was saying, I have here the four members of the expedition, and we shall quickly get to the truth." He turned to Sheldon, "Dr. Cooper, if you could, please step up and explain your experiment and the results you had gained, previous to the revelation of tampering."
Sheldon stood awkwardly before the crowd, knowing now that what he thought he had accomplished was merely a trick, a wretched trick imposed upon him by his supposed friends and treasured acquaintance. He began to speak and was carried back to his original excitement, to detect slow moving monopoles, to confirm string theory and his enthusiasm for the topic at hand carried him through, keeping his audience in thrall.
He explained everything about the trip, all the science behind it and finally his disappointment when Raj, er Dr. Koothrappali informed him of the 'trick'. There was an outbreak of whispers and Dr. Gablehauser had to step in to redirect the attention. He sent Sheldon back to his seat and asked Raj to come up and explain further, since he had been the one to first, tell Sheldon and second, to come clean to himself via phone.
Raj told them all about being trapped in the small space, about how Sheldon, Dr. Cooper, was in such a state of excitation, when coupled with his other idiosyncrasies, caused a group break in faculties. How they had plotted ways to disable Dr. Cooper. When one day they found an odd blip in the readings that caused Dr. Cooper to relax finally and then finding it repeated when the can opener was employed, it was posited by Dr. Hofstadter that by judicious use of said can opener, they could keep Dr. Cooper stable, thus ensuring the survival of them all. The others had reluctantly agreed, rather than go home early in disgrace, to continue the ruse with the expectation that it would be explained when they returned to California. With the clear expectation that Dr. Cooper would then be able to work with the actual data still.
His explanation was met with a suruss of whispered voices from the others in the room and on video conference. He glanced at his friends; Leonard looked pissed, Howard had his head bowed in shame and Sheldon, Sheldon looked gutted. Raj felt even worse than he had before, knowing that because they couldn't deal, they had ruined his expedition, to what, save face? And look where that had led them. Here to this room, all of their bosses and supervisors present, the president of the university there looking on, and in conference, the National Science Foundation people who had allowed them on the expedition.
Raj was sent back to his seat and Howard was asked if he had anything to add, he mutely shook his head, allowing that Raj had spoke the truth. An extremely pissed off Leonard was asked if he had a rebuttal, but he knew, sitting there seething, that what had been said was nothing less than the truth, no matter how it irked him. He could stand there and explain what it was like to live with Sheldon and his bizarre schedules, regimented habits and other oddities, tell them all what it was like being trapped there at the top of the world with him. The way he started to backpedal into madness dragging them all with him. He could. But he knew no one would care.
He, they, could have said, no, we can't handle that, and Sheldon would have been forced to interview the more qualified candidates. They should have. He hadn't wanted to go anyway. Wanted to stay, enjoy the peace of their empty apartment, the glory of having the freedom to do whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted. Maybe bring his girlfriend over and whistle, or whatever. He'd even have Penny's undivided attention, where maybe he could make some headway convincing her he was the one for her, Penny was hotter than Stephanie any day, not that he'd ever be stupid enough to say that outloud, at least not where either one could hear him.
No one would care, because this was science. Plenty of people who hated each other managed to at least pretend to get along for the sake of the science. Here and now, they were friends, not enemies, and they had done this, this trick, on purpose. With intent. Maybe not intent to sabotage his scientific breakthrough, but with the intent to deceive at the very least. None of the people here now would approve of their actions, nor allow them to slide. In what universe could they ever?
In the end he just sat, stewing in his own anger and self pity. He knew he'd done wrong, hoped he'd never be caught and thought it would all blow over. He was wrong and he was not really ready to reap what he had sown. His silence was taken as the only answer he would give.
Dr. Gablehauser broke into the whispering, telling them that he would be in further conference with his peers and that everyone else could go on back to work. He turned then to Sheldon and his friends, "You should all go home. We will contact you at a later date to inform you of our decision. You are admonished to not discuss amongst yourselves anything pertaining to this inquiry. It may be prudent to seek counsel, if it is decided that you will be held liable for the costs incurred on this expedition."
It was a long day. Longer still than any of the days spent in isolation at the North Pole. They spent it alone, or in the case of Sheldon and Leonard, as alone as two people who live in the same apartment can.
Leonard hadn't told Stephanie he was back. He'd been in the midst of drama since the moment he arrived at his doorstep and he hadn't even thought of her in his state. He'd slept the day and night before, the sleep of the guilty, the exhausted, tossing and turning at times, other times sleeping deeply but dreaming of disturbing things he couldn't recall upon awakening. He'd woken that morning to find his phone still off from the plane, he'd had no reason to turn it on, pretty much everyone he usually talked to was with him, and no one else would have known to call since they hadn't had a firm return date.
He turned it on and found it inundated with texts and voicemails from his boss. He'd seen the clock and thrown his clothes on. He found himself alone in the apartment, as he rushed out the door to work. Then he arrived to find the dragon who guarded his boss telling him crossly that he needed to be in conference room four with everyone else. The day had gone down hill from there.
Sheldon had refused a ride home, merely stalking off towards his office when asked by any of them. Panic started creeping into Leonard's soul. It was one thing to put in play a stupid trick while they were so far away from everyone and everything. The reality of his culpability and the thought of his prospects was daunting. Would he even have a job at the end of all of this? If he didn't what would he do? Who would hire someone who had been found to sabotage his friends experiment?
Sheldon too sat alone wondering how his life had led to this. Here he was, brilliant beyond most of his subspecies, homo sapiens. He was homo novus, a step up, now brought low by those he trusted. Understanding others emotions and thought processes was not his strong suit. He had previously assumed they had all enjoyed the trip as much as he had. It left him feeling uneasy, this inability to have noticed this happening right under his nose.
He was brought out of his musings by a knock at the front door. He was surprised to find Penny on the other side. Generally she just breezed in like she owned the place.
She stood fidgeting at his doorstep, "How are you today Sheldon? I'm sorry I ran off and left you to deal on your own last night. I just got so upset I barely even spared a thought to how you must be feeling."
He was confused by her presence. She had not caused his friends to mistreat him, nor had she herself mistreated him. It never occurred to him to be sorry for something he did, much less that someone else had done. He spoke only the truth and he was smarter than everyone one he knew, thus necessitating him informing them of things they didn't or couldn't see. So he told her that, "You did not participate in the ruin of my career, I don't understand why you would be sorry."
"Oh Sheldon," Penny exclaimed, "You can feel sorry for another person's pain even if you aren't the cause. And I do. You are my friend and no matter how wacky you are you don't deserve to have your best friends treat you like rubbish." He looked distinctly uncomfortable so she changed the subject, "Oh I see you haven't gone through your mail yet." She indicated the carefully rubber banded piles in a basket on his desk.
He picked one up thoughtfully. He glanced through them all quickly, noting that she had followed his directions to the letter. He looked back at her, "Yes well, good job doing what you agreed to do. Where is the key?"
"It's here," she smirked, holding it up. "Should I keep the emergency key or give it back now?"
"It is your key, for emergency use. How would it help you or I in an emergency if I had it here?" He asked thoroughly puzzled.
"Sheldon, even if I knew you wanted me to keep the key it's polite to offer it back to you, in case you changed your mind about me having a key to your home. Some people change their locks after a trip, just in case the person they let keep an eye on things may have kept a copy of the key." She grimaced, "I can think of a few people I would not want having a key to my apartment. I can even remember a time I regretted allowing you guys to have one."
While Sheldon still wasn't sure what about him doing her the immense favour of tidying her apartment it was that had caused her upset, he did know that it had upset her and he generally did not try to upset her just to upset her. "Yes, I now know that cleaning another person's home without their permission while they are asleep is frowned upon." Sheldon chewed on his lower lip, "However if one had permission to do so, they could in fact clean when the owner was not asleep, right?"
"Sheldon, honey, if it bothers you that much, we can set up a time for you to have at it, if it really will make you feel better. Clutter doesn't bother me and as long as nothing else is living in there, I don't care what it looks like." Penny wasn't embarrassed to admit she wasn't a neat freak and if it made Sheldon happy to come round and clear up after her, more power to him.