Leonard was staring off into space when he was hit upon with an idea that made him jolt from his seated position. Stephanie, she had practically moved in here with him, perhaps he could reciprocate in the same manner. If he went over with a bottle of wine and some flowers, oozed charm and let her know how much he missed her he might even be able to play off the incident as his subconscious trying to get him back home to her. Girls were pretty stupid and they ate up insipid crap like that.
He texted her to find out when she would be home and gathered some things into a bag. When he went out the door, he vaguely heard Sheldon's voice coming from Penny's apartment, but she was mad at him too, so he didn't want to draw attention to himself. He hot footed it down the stairs and to his car.
He found a bottle of wine that wasn't too cheap or too expensive, found some flowers that looked pretty and headed for the restaurant he remembered her liking to order take out. It certainly couldn't hurt to have dinner for her when he got there, just so long as she didn't expect that kind of thing all the time. He was heartily sick of catering to the whims of another, he was ready to have his whims catered to. Surely with the way Stephanie had carried on when he had almost dumped her, after she scared the pants off of him when he realised she had practically moved in with him, she would be so happy that he was interested in spending more time with her, she'd move mountains to make him happy.
He approached her apartment like a man with a plan, a plan to woo and win, losing was not an option. He needed out of his apartment before Sheldon, or worse Penny, made his life any more miserable than it was.
Stephanie greeted him with enthusiastic hugs and kissed him like she was eating his face. His plan was working so far. When he went in the bathroom he set up his toothbrush, deodorant and other essentials on the counter. He placed his coffee cup in her cupboard while she had her head in the freezer getting out some ice cream to finish off dinner.
He left his clothes in her hamper when they crawled into bed and he made it his goal to incite her to finish more than once before he would take his turn. He needed, wanted, this to go his way, he needed her to think this was her idea. For her to ask him not to leave her every night or morning after.
She held him tightly as she fell asleep and he forced himself not to squirm out of her grasp. He hated being touched while he was asleep. After she was deeply asleep he eased out of her arms and rolled over, exhausted, falling deeply asleep.
Joey was rambling up the stairs, talking excitedly into her phone when Sheldon was going down to catch the bus the next morning. He needed some cleaning supplies just for Penny's apartment, since she had accepted his help in taming her apartment.
He nodded to Joey, who broke off her conversation, "Gotta go, bye!" Turning to Sheldon as he came closer she asked him, "What's up? How'd it go yesterday? You off to work now?"
He sighed, "I do not know how to explain how yesterday was. There was a meeting and I was given some time off. I am going to the market to pick up some cleaning supplies, Penny has allowed that perhaps she lacks in the cleaning department and is allowing me to rectify the situation. It's been awhile since I've tidied up in there and I hesitate to think what state the rest of the apartment is in."
"Would you mind terribly if I come with you? I'll drive," Joey offered. "I was gonna go in a little bit anyway, before bed."
Sheldon debated internally. On one hand if she came along and drove he would not have to take the bus. On the other hand, he had never ridden with her before and knew nothing of her driving skills, apart from seeing her driving in or out of the parking lot. It was a chance he decided to take, given what he needed and that he'd have to haul it all back on the bus. "Oh very well, you can accompany me," he said, quickly adding, "but I get to choose the route."
Joey shrugged, "Yeah sure ok, you know the area better than I do anyhow. Gimme a sec to go grab my list and I'll meet you downstairs." Then she dodged past him and up the stairs, two at a time.
Sheldon shook his head at her antics. No decorum, that one, and her stairwell manners were appalling. He continued down the stairs, changing his shopping list in his head as he went. Now he would be able to get a small caddy to contain everything. That would make things easier. He wondered if Penny would be amenable to keeping the supplies in her apartment, so he could get started anytime.
He didn't have to wait long downstairs, even though he had substantially longer legs than Joey, she had jumped down rather a lot of the stairs and thanked her lucky stars that she was springy in the knees from all the skating she did. She grinned at him and thanked him politely when he held the door for her.
Safely ensconced in her car, he was happy to see she put her seatbelt on before she started the car, and that the stereo volume was on low. He directed her to the store he wanted and braced himself for when she pulled into traffic. She drove well, he was surprised and stated so.
She laughed and said, "I learned to drive in Texas and with all the places I've driven since, I've only gotten more careful. Everyone drives so nicely where I'm from, they all wave and if you're going faster than them they move over for you. Here you're more likely to get the finger than a wave and if you're not doing 80 on the freeway they'll sit on your bumper until they can pass you, phones pressed to their ears and likely doing their makeup too. Frankly I abhor the freeway here. I'll take city streets and stop lights any day."
She drove the speed limit, all of the dash lights were unlit, she kept the music down without being told... all in all Sheldon thought it was one of the nicest rides he'd had of late.
He had no idea that she had been forewarned by Penny, so she was on her best behaviour. She had an ulterior motive, she desperately wanted to see if he was really as crazy as Penny made him seem. She also wanted to see if she could figure out if he showed any interest in Penny as a woman, vs a as a friend whose house he seemed intent on cleaning. She shook her head at that thought, it was really too bizarre.
She'd had to learn at a young age, either she kept up after herself or things disapeared inexplicably. Her father's teaching method of choice; he would remind her to tidy up, then if she didn't do it in a timely manner, stuff just wandered off. Never important things, her school books never went missing, but she went through a fair few hairbrushes before she stopped leaving them in the sitting room. Turned out he just kept several in a bin in his closet and when she 'lost' one, he'd make a show of having to add it to the shopping list and then just get one of the others she'd 'lost' and replace it. She was 12 when she figured that out, but by then she'd already learned to keep it in the bathroom or her own room.
"So Sheldon, why are you cleaning Penny's apartment." Joey asked, carefully not taking her eyes off the road. "I mean I get that it bugs you, but I mean it bugs me when people go shopping in their slippers but I don't go buy shoes for people so they stop..." She trailed off, hoping he'd fill in.
"Penny is my friend, and since I spend time in her apartment, she agreed that if it would make me feel better while I am there, she would allow me to clean it to my standards. I doubt I would be able to enter her abode if it were truly dirty, it's mostly just messy and very disorganised." Sheldon posited. "If she had a vermin or zygomycota infestation, I wouldn't be able to enter. In fact I would probably report her to the building manager. Though he rarely takes my calls." Sheldon mused.
Joey joked, "Oh. Do you do windows?"
He pursed his lips, "I do, indeed."
Right, Penny said he didn't get sarcasm, how about subtlety? "Penny is awful pretty isn't she?"
Sheldon twitched. "While she does meet the standards of our society for beauty, I wouldn't describe her as awful at it, unlike her driving and cleaning. Do you find her attractive? Do you need my help signaling your interest in her?"
Joey laughed, loud and hard, thanking all the deities she was aware of that she was at a red light. "Sheldon, I'm completely one hundred percent heterosexual."
Sheldon was looking a bit startled and was clutching the armrest, but managed to relax when she stopped laughing when the light changed.
The rest of the trip was fairly uneventful, and Joey was left feeling like she didn't get the information she had been seeking. She left Sheldon at his door and dragged her bags up, ready for bed.