A/N: Here is the next installment of Zero's misadventures in his quest to ruin Christmas. But first, let's check and see what Suzaku is up to. Last time, we left him at the mercy of Cornelia and he became Santa's "Helper". (Insert evil laugh here) I adore Suzaku, but he's so fun to torture. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy the chapter!

Disclaimer: Do you have any idea what chaos would befall the anime world if I owned Code Geass. If you'd like a clue, you can check out my Code Geass crossovers. (Yep, that was a shameless plug. I got to reign you guys into my crazy world one way or another.)

Warnings: Um...can't think of any.

At the government bureau

6:45 p.m.

"Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!"

Suzaku Kururgu, wearing a Santa girl costume complete with makeup, black snowflake patterned stockings, and red high heels, hung his head low in shame as he set a tray of champagne flutes filled with ginger ale on the table in front of him. "I firmly regret every decision that led me to this low, low, LOW, point in my life. Someone should have told me that trying to change Britannian society from the inside was a waste of time. Better yet, someone should have told me it was catastrophic, pitiful, naïve, stupid, mentally and emotionally destructive, no good, and poorly crafted plan."

You know, it doesn't sound quite as good as Lelouch's famous line.

Unfortunately for the Honorary Britannian turned knight, he could not turn back the clock and choke his younger self to death which meant subjecting himself to the snickers of Britannian nobles and aristocrats as he pranced about, serving champagne and in some cases ginger ale.

That wasn't even the worst part though.

"Hahahaha! I can't...my side! Hahahaha! Can't breathe...bwahahahahahaha!"

Suzaku let out a long sigh while wishing Lloyd had picked someone else to be his fiance. "Madame President, please. This is already embarrassing enough without you cackling like that."

The Ashfrod Academy Student Council President, Milly Ashford, continued to laugh hysterically at Suzaku's predicament. Sitting next to her wearing a formal tux sat Rivalz Cardemon who had long since joined her in the laughter and next to him sat Nina Einstein wearing a plain white long-sleeved sweater dressed. Even the almost always quiet girl was giggling.

The only person sitting at the table who wasn't laughing was Shirley Fennette. One look at her let Suzaku know she was thinking about Lelouch again, and not in the most positive light either. For a few seconds he wondered if something was going on between them.

But seconds after thinking this he heard the snap of a camera phone lens. His emerald-green eyes snapped in attention and zoomed in on a cellular device in Milly's hands.

"You're taking pictures now!?" Suzaku asked in complete horror. Some random lady passed by as he spoke and she practically spit the champagne she was drinking out of her mouth. Oh, what Suzaku wouldn't give to drink himself into a coma right now.

"Not just taking pictures," Milly replied, flipping her blonde hair over her shoulder. Her painted red lips moved to form a devious grin. "This is YouTube worthy my friend."

Suzaku felt a little of himself die on the inside. "You're so cruel..."

"Lighten up man," Rivalz stated good-naturedly while not so sneakily placing his hand on Milly's thigh. His eyes were locked on the glittery red fabric of her mermaid style dress hugging her curves. "It's all in good fun."

Milly promptly lifted his hand from off her. "On the contrary Rivalz. If you touch me again I can guarantee that the fun will end for you."

Rivalz's expression sunk. "Come on Prez, I'm just preparing you for your marriage to..." his expression suddenly shifted to one of pure rage, "him..."

Milly and Nina both blinked at their friend's sudden change in demeanor, but all was explained seconds later when Lloyd Asplund came bounding toward the table, shouting ecstatically that his fiance had finally arrived to the party. Cecile followed closely behind, looking radiant in a royal blue halter dress.

"I'm happy to see you extended the invitation to your friends dear," Lloyd cheerily stated, his cheeks a bit rosy. He glanced at Suzaku, laughed at him again, then turned his attention back to Milly. "Care for a dance? This party has been sooooooooooo boring."

Suzaku's jaw nearly dropped. "What the..." he exchanged a look with Cecile in which she mouthed to him, "He's drunk."

Milly blinked in confusion, but then that devious look came back. Setting down her phone, she rose from her seat. "I would be delighted Earl Asplund."

"Oh please darling don't call me that," Lloyd responded with regal gaiety. "I am the honored Earl of Pudding!"

Rivalz immediately busted out laughing while Nina, who had been drinking her ginger ale, did a spit take at his words. Shirley briefly glanced at Nina to make sure she was alright but then turned her attention toward the evening sky outside the tall windows surrounding them.

Suzaku wanted to question the girl, but at that moment...

"Hey Santa baby! Bring on more champagne!"

The knight groaned at the sound of Darlton's voice. Cleary the veteran soldier was drunk out of his skull.

"Well Suzuki you best be off," Rivalz joked, his laughter echoing through the room as Suzaku dejectedly walked away, carrying his empty tray.

After retrieving more champagne flutes from the kitchen crew, (in which two members of said crew passed out from excessive giggling), Suzaku carried the newly filled tray to Princess Cornelia's table where she was accompanied by Guilford, Darlton, and a few members of the Glaston Knights.

"You requested more champagne?" Suzaku inquired, setting the tray down before setting the glasses in front of everyone present. He noted that the chair reserved for Princess Euphemia was empty. Almost immediately his already sour mood soured all the more. Earlier he had caught a glimpse of her sitting in that exact chair, looking beautiful in a white ballgown with ruffled sleeves tied with festive green and red ribbons. Her long locks of cotton candy colored hair were pulled up into an elaborate up-do with a few tendrils loosely framing her face.

All the while, the knight she had chosen was dressed like a woman per her sister's command.

He knew Euphie must have seen him, so he didn't blame her for hightailing it out of there to escape the shame he was bringing upon her good name.

"My, my, don't look so glum Kururugi," Cornelia offered, struggling to hide the wide smile on her face. Clearly she was ecstatic about the success of her prank on him. "It's all in good fun."

Guilford lifted his flute of ginger ale while giving Suzaku an apologetic smile. "It's part of the initiation. Her majesty did the same thing to me many years ago. It's a good sign. You're growing on her."

"I think I liked it better when I was on her bad side," Suzaku inaudibly muttered. His sour mood had taken another dive.

Suddenly, the large ornate doors on the other side of the woman opened with a loud bang. Suzaku, (despite his dressed up predicament) turned on his heel and moved into a fighting stance. Santa's helper or not, he would make sure no terrorist came barreling into the party to further heighten his embarrassment.

But to his surprise, the person that came walking through the door was Euphie...dressed in a full-bodied Santa Suit with the beard and everything.

"Ho, ho, ho," she bellowed, placing her hands on her fake belly that rolled like jelly. She coughed a bit soon afterward, unable to keep up the deep voice. When she spoke again, it was in that sing-song voice Suzaku had grown to adore. "Merry Christmas!"

Suzaku, along with the other guests, gasped a bit as Princess Euphemia continued forward in a waddle like fashion. Many were stifling giggles or smiles of any kind for fear that they'd anger Cornelia for doing so, but as Euphie passed, she encouraged the guests to laugh and enjoy themselves. All the while, she kept waving to Suzaku. The beard was covering up most of her lips, but he could tell she was truly smiling under there.

The Honoary Britannian felt his heart leap in his chest as he began to walk towards her.

She looked completely ridiculous and yet...more beautiful than he had ever seen her.

"Merry Christmas Su...whoa!" Euphie began to lose her balance. The weight of her suit threatened to send her tumbling to the floor, but thankfully Suzaku caught her before she could face plant.

"Are you alright your majesty?"

Euphie let out a giggle. "Oh, Suzaku." She looked up at him, pure love shinning in her lavender eyes. "How many times do I have to tell you? Call me Euphie."

Suzaku's responding smile practically lit up the ball room. "Of course. Anything you wish...Euphie."

Some of the onlookers were whispering about the shame the princess was bringing upon their race by talking with the cross-dressing eleven, but many of the guests smiled at the two, thinking them to be a nice match...though the cross-dressing was still a bit weird.

As for Cornelia and her knights, there was little care extended toward the two. Cornelia understood that her stubborn sister had chosen Kururugi as her knight despite her every attempt to sway Euphemia to act differently. In the end though, Cornelia could now see that Kururugi was the best choice to protect his sister from harm. The look in his eyes said it all.

Now as far as suitors go...that's a different story, but Cornelia decided she wouldn't interfere. Kururugi was fairly attractive...for a number. She could see why Euphemia would be interested in him. She had a feeling it wouldn't last, but for now Euphemia was happy. That's all that really mattered to Cornelia right now.

But who cares about Cornelia's opinion. Let's get back to the romance.

"I do have one other wish," Euphie exclaimed. "Since you're dressed as Santa's helper, would you mind helping me hand out some gifts?"

Her knight responded with a gallant bow...which wasn't the best thing to do given his attire, but as far as he was concerned, Euphie was the only person in the room.

"Such a request is an honor to fulfil Mr. Claus."

Euphie tilted her head a bit, another small giggle escaping her. "You probably should have curtsied, Suzaku."

Suzaku ended up laughing along with her. "And look even more ridiculous than I already do. I think I'll have to pass on that."

"Well," Euphie began, reaching out with her gloved hand to gently grasp Suzaku's wrist, "at least now we look ridiculous together."

Suzaku shook his head, obediently following behind her as she began to pull him along. "You'll always look beautiful to me...even while waddling."

Euphie moaned, her playful pout partially hidden by the beard. "Suzaku, I think I'll have my sister command you to dress up as a penguin next year."

"As long as you dress up as an Eskimo, I'm fine with that."

"It's a deal. Now, help me with this giant bag of presents. I had to carry them down three flights of stairs earlier. My back is a little stiff now."

"Someone's getting old," Suzaku teased. The two of them laughed, leaving the room to grab the gifts for all the guests attending the party. Once more there were whispers, but the two lovebirds didn't care for the opinions of close-minded people. As long as they had each other, they were both as happy as could be.

Of course, thanks to Zero, the spirit of Christmas is on the verge of being ruined.

Meanwhile...

"No, no, no!"

Lelouch grit his teeth from beneath the Zero mask as C.C. pushed him down the hall. For a petite little woman, she had some reserves of strength, much like the woman the two of them were going to see.

Of course, after the events of the last chapter, the last thing Lelouch wanted to do was see Kallen.

"Stop being a baby about this," C.C. ordered, forcing the masked terrorist forward inch by miserable inch down the hall. "By now she's probably passed out. You need to..." she moaned, the struggle of pushing him forward taking a lot more effort than she was used to giving to any task. "...assess the damage and come up with another diabolical, horrible, awful, evil, malevolent, condescending, wicked, vindictive..." she trailed off, groaning now that the man refused to budge anymore.

"And expertly crafted plan," Lelouch finished just as C.C. threw up her hands and exhaled an exasperated sigh. "I realize that this has to be done but..."

By this point C.C. was rubbing her fingers against the sides of her head. A terrible headache was beginning to make itself known. "But what?"

"I don't wanna!"

C.C.'s expression deadpanned. "Again, you're acting like a colossally big baby about this." With a more forceful grip, she grabbed Lelouch by the cape and proceeded to drag him all the way to Kallen's door. Lelouch tried to resist, but when he did so, C.C. pulled on his cape and caused him to fall face first to the hard floor. From there she continued to drag him...inch by miserable inch.

The poor immortal witch was definitely getting a workout from this madness.

After a few minutes of dragging, arguing, and threats from C.C., Lelouch with the guise of Zero protecting him, finally marched into Kallen's room. C.C. followed in behind him.

Just as predicted, Kallen was incapacitated on the couch. Her eyes kept rolling in circles and every once in a while she'd mutter something about a black genie floating in the doorway. C.C. would shudder at some terrible memory every time she mentioned this genie, but otherwise Kallen was in LSD coma.

Ohgi was pacing behind the couch while Inoue checked Kallen's vitals. "Is she going to be alright doctor!?"

Inoue groaned, tossing the thermometer she had just stuck in Kallen's mouth over her shoulder. "I'm not exactly trained for this sort of thing. I was only in medical school for two weeks before the Britannians took over...and I was studying to be a veterinarian."

"Oh the humanity!" Ohgi shrieked, falling to his knees by the couch. He pressed his face to the cushion by Kallen's head. "Say it isn't so doctor!"

Inoue groaned again. "Deputy commander, I'm not..."

"Kallen! Why! Why did you drink LSD from a milk jug!? Why I ask you! Why!"

With another groan, Inoue turned to Zero and C.C. "I don't know why I bother trying to talk to this guy. He's emotionally unstable."

"Is Kallen going to be okay though?" Zero asked.

"I'm not even sure why Ohgi called me here in the first place," Inoue muttered, her blue eyes darting over to the snivelling mess of a man. "Still, from my assessment, the best thing to do to figure out how long Kallen is going to be like this is to question the man responsible for her condition to begin with."

Ohgi gasped, his gaze widening in horror. "You can't mean..."

"Don't say it..." Lelouch added. "For the love of all that is Christmas...don't say it!"

C.C. sighed. "What is it with you men and theatrics today?"

From behind the Zero mask, Lelouch glared at the immortal witch, but instead of replying to her comment he turned to Inoue again, his shoulders heavy with a great weight as he spoke. "We have to speak to Tamaki don't we?

"Unfortunately," Inoue answered, shaking her head. "Zero, just my opinion here, but I think it would be in everyone's best interest if you come up with an operation to...ahem...'Kill Tamaki'."

Lelouch smirked in triumph underneath the mask. "Finally! Someone who's on board with my diabolical, horrible, awful, evil, malevolent..."

Inoue rose from her seated position on the floor. "Zero, please. Just give it a rest already." Flipping her dark hair over her shoulder, she walked past the masked man in a show of nonchalance. Had she been able to see Zero's face she would have doubled over in a fit of hysterics at the open-mouthed expression he was sporting.

"Ouch...," C.C. drawled out, still staring at Ohgi's pitiful display. "That had to sting..."

"C.C.," Lelouch cut in, his voice low and soft. "Follow her. Make sure she doesn't have a Geass like Mao. I can't have someone else reading my mind and figuring out my diabolical, horrible, awful, evil, malevolent..."

"Didn't she tell you to give it a rest," C.C. interrupted, rolling her amber eyes. "Forget this! I'm going back to our room and ordering Sugiyama to cook up a pizza."

"Our room! It's my room witch!"

C.C. threw up her hand in dismissal, the automated doors closing behind her with a firm click. Now Zero and Ohgi were alone with a comatose Kallen.

"All these squares make a circle..."

Lelouch practically growled. "If I hear that phrase one more time, I'm going to add another diabolical, horrible, awful, evil, malevolent..."

"Zero! Enough!"

Lelouch was prepared to argue how he needed to say his iconic phrase all the way through at least once in this chapter, but then just let it go. It was already nightfall and there was still no operation.

Only one thing left to do.

"Ohgi, pull yourself together," Zero commanded. Ohgi reluctantly stood, wiping his eyes from tears.

"Find Tamaki and bring him here," he continued. "Then have Diethard call Tohdoh and Asahina come here as well."

Ohgi nodded. "Yes sir, but you should know Tohdoh and Chiba come as a package deal..."

"Fine! Just make the call and get Tamaki here stat!"

"Of course! No problem!" Ohgi exclaimed, quickly running out the door. "But don't forget Zero, no seducing Kallen while I'm away."

Lelouch's eyebrow began to twitch beneath the mask. "Wouldn't...dream of it...now get...going."

"Yes sir!"

The automated doors closed, leaving Lelouch alone with Kallen once more.

He suddenly had a bad feeling about this course of action.

"Hail Popo!"

Yep, a very bad feeling indeed.

A/N: So...yeah this chapter ended up being a lot shorter than I initially planned, but be prepared. The next one is going to amp up the hilarity in a major way. Don't know what I'm talking about? Well stay tuned to find out! (Hopefully I can get the next one up before Christmas. Cross your fingers guys.) Thanks for reading. I appreciate the support. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year too!