A/N: And we are back with another installment of How Zero Ruined Christmas. It's been a long time coming and while it is not quite Christmas time yet, the holiday season is about to begin...and Christmas movies are already airing on TV so...it's time to bring out some fun Christmas humor, and who better to do that with than the Code Geass gang. I hope you guys enjoy the chapter!

Disclaimer: I do not own Code Geass. It would be a much more convoluted show if I did, trust me.

Warnings: Fourth wall breaking is heavy in this chapter.

Fifteen minutes later within Kallen's room, we find Shinichiro Tamaki tied up to a chair with a gag firmly tied around his big mouth. Zero and Ohgi stand over him, both with their arms crossed in front of their chests. They stare down at Tamaki in contempt, and though Zero's expression cannot be seen, Tamaki is absolutely certain that he's sending him a particularly awful glare from behind the dark plastic covering his "best buddy's" face.

"Mmmmmmmmmhmmm!"

"So, when are we going to interrogate him?" Ohgi asked.

Zero stayed silent for a few seconds, then finally replied, "We are waiting for Tohdoh and Asahina..."

"And Chiba too," Ohgi cut in. "Package deal, remember?"

"I am aware," Zero answered, sounding exasperated. "When they arrive, we will remove the gag from Tamaki's mouth. He will then tell us just how long it will take for Kallen to snap out of this LSD coma and if we can go forward with our operation to Takeover Britannia on Christmas."

Ohgi sighed. "Yeah...I'm not going to lie Zero. Not the best timing for any kind of terrorist operation."

"This isn't the best time for your opinions either, but you're still giving them. And how many more times am I going to have to explain that we're knights for justice!"

"Mmmmmhmmmmm!"

"SHUT UP TAMAKI."

Tamiki groaned from behind the gag. He knew he was in for some real trouble this time.

"Hail Popo!"

Zero shook his head slowly while letting out another sigh of exasperation. "Who the heck is this Popo guy she keeps rambling about!?"

"Zero please," Ohgi interjected, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Calm down. It's just the LSD talking. Nothing to be concerned about..."

"Oh sure," Zero cut in. "That's coming from the man who was crying his eyes out fifteen minutes ago."

"THAT'S BECAUSE I CARE ABOUT HER! UNLIKE YOU!"

Lelouch exhaled a breath of exhaustion from behind the mask. "I do care Ohgi, but we are in the middle of a high risk operation. The future of Japan may hang in the balance..."

"Oh for crying out loud!" the deputy screeched, erupting like a volcano would. "Your plan is to take over the government bureau on Christmas, a designated day of peace on Earth! Even with less security, do you really think Princess Cornelia would let her guard slip so easily?"

At that exact moment...

Guilford's blue eyes were wide in adamant horror as he listened to the sharp sound of guzzling. "Princess Cornelia...don't you think...that's a bit much?"

The goddess of battle, with a deep crimson blush on her face, slammed the empty eighteen ounce bottle of red wine down on the table. "Whatcha talkin' bout? I'm twotally fine Guilford. Now...brings me more wine! Tonight...we ce...ce...what's the word?"

Guilford hung his head in shame as many of their acquaintances giggled at the state of the feared 'goddess of battle'. "Celebrate, your majesty. The word is celebrate."

Cornelia didn't hear her knight as her attention was suddenly locked on the square tiles of the ballroom floor. "Did these squares always make a circle?"

Back to the main plot

"Of course not," Lelouch as Zero answered, flinging out his cape dramatically as he glared figurative daggers through his mask toward his direct subordinate. "But with a lack of personnel, she couldn't possibly maintain control of the bureau for long. Do you think I just give orders without putting in some thought?"

"Do you want me to answer that?" Ohgi asked, raising an eyebrow at the masked leader.

At this point, Lelouch was definitely thinking of a diabolical, horrible, awful, evil, malevolent, condescending, wicked, vindictive, and expertly crafted plan to humiliate Ohgi to the utmost before killing him...preferably by stabbing him to death...or perhaps by maiming him with a metal pipe. He did have some underground connections with a woman who happened to have a vast collection of differently colored metal pipes. He could probably have her design a custom pipe for him and then, with that metal pipe he could beat Ohgi and all the other Black Knights senseless...and then he would stab them...repeatedly. Yes, it was the perfect diabolical, horrible, awful, evil, malevolent, condescending, wicked, and expertly crafted plan.

Unfortunately, to continue forward with his diabolical, horrible, awful, evil, malevolent, condescending, wicked, and expertly crafted plan to obliterate Britannia, he kinda needed the Black Knights. So much for that plan.

"No," the exiled prince finally responded after a while, deliberately keeping still so he wouldn't act on his instinct to choke the man next to him. "You don't want me to hear the answer to that because if I do..."

"GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD evening gentleman!" Diethard bellowed, cutting off Lelouch's threat before he could finish delivering it. "I present to you our three contestants!"

Lelouch just slapped his hand against the front of his mask. "Oh, for heaven's sake not this again. Deithard, what have I told you about auditioning for game shows? You're part of the Black Knights now. You can't just..."

"Contestant number one is a Japanese veteran and one of the secondary members of The Four Holy Swords. His hobbies are playing pranks, making sarcastic jokes, and undercutting authority whenever he is able to. He's also pretty popular with the ladies within the Black Knights which is surprising given how much of a geek he is..."

"Hey! If you're going to do this, do it right, Deithard."

"I should have considered other resistance groups when forming my rebellion against Britannia," Lelouch stated hopelessly, moving off-screen to sit down next to Kallen's comatose form on the couch. In the meantime, Ohgi just stood there, confused.

Diethard, unperturbed by Zero's comment and the lack of enthusiasm from Ohgi, continued on. "Preeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesenting! Shogo Asahina!"

Cheers erupted from...somewhere. Honestly, even the authoress isn't sure how that's happening. This story is really getting out of hand.

Regardless of the craziness, Asahina walked in, wearing a festive, red Santa hat and a pilot suit that was clearly Christmas themed given all the lights flickering on and off along the entirety of the outfit.

"Since we're celebrating Christmas with an operation," Asahina began, "I decided to be this year's Christmas tree."

From his place on the couch, the mighty Zero hung his head in complete and utter shame. "I'm starting to think that this might have been a horrible mistake."

"We wish you a Merry Christmas, we wish you a Merry Christmas..."

Zero hung his head further as the red-head screamed the lyrics of the famous song. "Oh Kallen, I'm so sorry. All I can hope for is that you won't remember any of this tomorrow."

"...We wish you a merry Christmas and a Happy New Year."

Asahina smirked in response to Kallen's shout-singing. "Well, at least someone's still in the spirit."

"Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd on to our next contestant!"

This entire exchange seemed to have Ohgi in a state of mental panic. "Zero...what is this?"

Zero's response was just to flippantly wave his hand in dismissal. "Just ignore it. Diethard...he's Diethard. Give him a minute."

"This lovely lady is the only female member of The Four Holy Swords, primarily because she is going to be the leader's new wifu!"

"WHAT!? DIETHARD!" There was a pause off-screen. "Uh...not that I don't like you sir...it's just...unprofessional, but if you ever...I mean...um...DIETHARD I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"

Diethard paid her no attention, which was not uncommon. These days the media enthusiast seemed to be lost in his own little world, almost as if the prospect of missing his usual Christmas routine was driving him absolutely insane.

Quite frankly, they were all going insane.

"Preeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesenting Miss Nagisa Chiba!"

Chiba made a show of attempting a punch at Diethard's face, which the man promptly dodged. The enraged woman would have pursued him, but Asahina had taken that moment to ensnare her in a bear hold so that she couldn't tear the Britannian limb from limb.

"Now for our final contestant." Diethard's words were accompanied with a drum roll and three different spotlights centered on the entrance of Kallen's room. How this is possible is a complete mystery to everyone, and at this point we could assume that this is just Kallen's interpretation of what's happening right now. Unfortunately these odd events are too lucid for Kallen's brain to conjure up.

No, Kallen's thought process is nothing but the following right now.

"Dumplin strut, Dumplin strut, everybody wants to do the Dumplin strut."

As for who Dumplin is...the world may never know. It's probably a reference to some obscure abridged series.

Lelouch was listening to Kallen spout these words about this Dumplin character with intense concentration. It was better for him to cling to the nonsense coming out of her mouth rather than the craziness quickly spiraling out of his control.

"Our last contestant is the leader of The Four Holy Swords," Deithard stated, the drum roll still going strong. "In Itsukushima, this man was able to defeat the first generation knightmare frames thus creating a miracle for the Japanese people before ultimately failing them."

There was the distinct sound of a blade being unsheathed.

Diethard rightfully cleared his throat at the sound. "Now presenting, Kyoshiro Tohdoh!"

Tohdoh stepped in calmly, an expression of annoyance evident in his features. "Diethard. Get out. Now."

And suddenly the lights, drums, and all the other game show like qualities of the moment disappeared, leaving Diethard little choice but to hightail it out of the room.

With him gone, the three Holy Swords members, Ohgi, and Zero could properly come up with a diabolical, horrible, awful, malevolent, condescending, wicked, vindictive, and expertly crafted plan to alleviate the dimwitted, drunken...I can't come up with any more adjectives...situation that Tamaki had caused.

Fifteen minutes later

"Well, I've got nothing," Asahina muttered before glancing down at the playing cards he now held in his hands. "Do you have any fours Zero?"

Lelouch shook his head. "No. Go Fish, Asahina." He turned his attention to Tohdoh. "Got any ideas, miracle worker?"

Tohdoh stayed silent.

"Figures," Lelouch replied, turning his attention to Chiba. "And you?"

"Even if I did have a plan I wouldn't tell you," Chiba answered. After a few seconds she asked, "Do you have any eights?"

Lelouch plucked a single card from his hand. "Here you go."

"Yes!" With that exclamation Chiba placed four eight cards next to her two suit piles. Now she had three. So far she was winning the game. As far as Zero was concerned, she definitely had a diabolical, horrible, awful, malevolent, condescending, wicked, vindictive, and expertly crafted plan. Unfortunately that plan had nothing to do with Kallen. No, her diabolical, horrible, awful, malevolent, condescending, wicked, vindictive, and expertly crafted plan was all about torturing him and it was working. That Nagisa Chiba was going to be the bane of his existence, he could already see it.

But instead of addressing this, Lelouch simply turned his attention to Ohgi. "I don't even think I should ask at this point but..."

"I already told you I don't have any zero's!" Ohgi exclaimed, enraged yet again. "They don't even exist in the game! Why don't you understand that?"

Lelouch thought about answering but opted to silently motion for Asahina to resort to their last resort. Without a word, Asahina rose from the table and ripped off the duct tape covering Tamaki's mouth. The boorish man's responding scream made everyone smile...even comatose Kallen.

"Gah! Man!" Tamaki yelled. "I don't deserve this kind of treatment."

Lelouch looked over his cards. "No, you don't. You deserve worse." He looked over at Chiba. "Got any threes?"

Chiba's expression soured as she handed him the three of diamonds, the three of hearts, and the three of clubs. "I hate you."

"Believe me, the feeling is mutual," Lelouch answered, taking that moment to set his second suit of the game on the table. "Now Tamaki, please tell us that you have some form of plan to help Kallen out of her...predicament."

Tamaki sighed. "I'm sorry guys but she drank the entire gallon. She's gonna be out for the rest of the night and at least half of the day tomorrow."

Lelouch slapped his cards face down against the table. "Fantastic. Our ace pilot is indisposed! How are we going to make this work now? She was the key to my diabolical, horrible, awful, malevolent, condescending, wicked, and expertly crafted plan."

Chiba chuckled. "You're right Ohgi, he does say that line wearily often." She glanced at Tohdoh. "Would you happen to have any Queen's, Commander?"

"Not at the moment," Tohdoh answered.

"Good," Chiba answered, plucking a card from the top of the deck while ignoring Asahina's complaints about her skipping his turn...again.

"Anyway," Ohgi began, having calmed down from his earlier rage fit, "It's clear what we have to do now. There's no other choice but to cancel the operation..."

"We will be proceeding with the operation as planned," Lelouch cut in, training his unseen glare at Ohgi for the thirtieth time that night. "With or without our ace, we shall ride into the night and conquer our enemies with extreme prejudice."

"Good heaven's man, it's Christmas," Asahina blurted, looking absolutely horrified at Zero's statements. "Chill out. This is the season of giving."

"We shall deliver the gift of freedom to all the Japanese people," Zero pointed out.

Asahina mulled it over for a moment. "You know guys, I'm with Zero on this. So what if we attack on Christmas. Freedom is a gift that keeps on giving."

"In the wrong hands freedom is a curse," Chiba remarked with an air of annoyance while staring pointedly at an embarrassed looking Tamaki. "Still, this night is our best chance. Zero's plan may be a stupid one, but his timing is ideal."

Zero sighed. "Chiba, I might have liked you if not for your adamant refusal to recognize me as your leader."

Chiba stole another glance at Tohdoh. "I'll only follow one man."

Ohgi leaned towards Zero and whispered, "See, what did I tell ya. Package deal."

"She's certainly smitten with the miracle worker who hasn't conjured up a miracle since Itsukushima," Zero agreed, choosing that moment to rise up from his chair. The game of Go Fish long forgotten, the illustrious leader of the Black Knights marched to the automatic exit doors. "Prepare yourselves to depart in one hour. In preparation for situations such as this, I have one last ace up my sleeve."

"Hey, I asked if you had any Aces," Asahina bellowed. "Did you lie to me?"

From underneath the Zero mask, Lelouch broke out into an evil grin. "A man must play to win by any means necessary."

After that final word to his subordinates, Zero swung his cape and departed.

"No."

"C.C.! Please!"

The immortal witch stared down at her accomplice, thoroughly disappointed with his display. He was kneeling before her with his left outstretched behind him in a gallant fashion while his right hand held one of hers. Within the last minute or so he had tried kissing the top of her hand for the second time that day a good four times, but with each attempt she had bopped him on the top of the head with a rolled up magazine to stop the ridiculousness.

"Lelouch," she began, having smacked the back of his head for the fifth time. "Stop. I know you are just dying to taste my skin, but this is hardly the time."

With those words, the prince immediately dropped her hand. "I forgot that conventional flattery doesn't work on you."

C.C. raised a brow. "You called that conventional?"

Lelouch didn't answer, choosing instead to sit on the couch next to her. "I'll buy you a month's worth of pizza if you help us in tonight's operation."

"Just a month, boy?" C.C. asked, seemingly unimpressed with his offer. "I don't know. I may require more than pizza this time around. After all, I'm not keen on breaking the rules of Christmas."

"No one is on board with my diabolical, horrible, awful, malevolent, condescending, wicked, vindictive, and expertly crafted plan at this point," Lelouch muttered, mostly to himself. "But we must press on. We the Black Knights have a duty to the Japanese people, C.C."

C.C. leaned back against the couch cushions. "I thought you were doing this solely for your sister?"

"There's nothing wrong with killing two birds with one stone," the exiled prince answered, a playful smirk on his face. "Especially if one of those birds is the emperor."

The immortal woman resisted the urge to roll her eyes at him. "Marianne, remind me why I, as you put it, have a big time crush on your son?"

There was an audible humming in C.C.'s head as Marianne thought over which one of her son's positive qualities she wanted to pick.

"Well..."

"That's what I thought," the witch cut in, letting out a loud sigh.

"Oh come on! You didn't even let me start!"

Lelouch, seeing the spaced out look on C.C.'s face, decided to take another approach to make his diabolical, horrible, awful, malevolent, condescending, wicked, vindictive, and expertly crafted plan work.

"What would you like, C.C.?" he asked, mentally preparing himself for the debt he was going to go into. "Anything you want that I can give is yours, so please...pilot the Guren Mk-II tonight."

Upon hearing these words, the immortal shifted her gaze to meet his. "Really? Anything?"

He gave a quick nod at her inquiry. "Anything."

C.C.'s coy smirk was immediate. "You're going to regret this, but fine." Rising to her feet she strode toward the closet on the other end of the room. "I will pilot the Guren tonight. However, I must warn you that my piloting skills are not on par with hers. If Suzaku targets me, I won't be able to do much."

Lelouch's violet eyes followed her as she opened the closet doors. "I'll form a protective force around you."

"To protect the machine, yes?" C.C. asked, searching through the closet for the custom pilot suit Rakshata had made for her with a playful gleam in her amber irises. "After all, if the Guren is damaged, not only will we loose a big portion of our fighting power, but Rakshata will..."

C.C.'s thoughts tapered off when she felt Lelouch's hands fold around her shoulders. "To protect you from getting hurt out there."

She scoffed at that. "Please, you know that's not necessary."

"Doesn't matter," Lelouch replied, dropping his hands from her shoulders so she could continue with what she had been doing beforehand. "You are someone I have to protect now, regardless of your inability to die."

C.C. didn't say anything in response to this, simply withdrew a pilot suit that looked similar to Kallen's. The only difference was that the suits color motif was an emerald green instead of red.

"You will report to the command center in ten minutes," Lelouch continued, his hand reaching for the abandoned mask resting on the coffee table. "There I will give you and the other pilots an overview of the operation." With the mask in his grasp he started for the automated doors.

"Wait."

The man in question stopped, the mask already in place over his face. "What is it?"

C.C. didn't look at him, deciding to keep her gaze on the uniform in her hands. "My condition for my participation in this foolish scheme of yours...is a date."

From behind the mask, Lelouch blinked his violet eyes in confusion. "A date?"

"You said I could have anything I wanted," C.C. muttered, scowling in his direction. "I would like for you to take me out on a date. After all, if you really have romantic feelings for me, then you should have a proper opportunity to prove it."

Lelouch was genuinely shocked by the witch's request. Sometimes she really was an enigma to him.

"I suppose that's why she's so interesting," he thought, chuckling to himself as he turned his back to her. "Very well then. I accept your conditions."

He left without another word and C.C. smiled.

"You're going to make him take you to a Pizza Hut for the date aren't you?"

"Of course."

Marianne sighed within the immortal's mind. "For a woman who has lived for a good century, you have no concept of romance."

A/N: And that's the end of this chapter. The next one will consist of the operation and after that, an epilogue. So...yep...this story is coming to a close. Gosh...this one has been fun. I'm going to miss coming back to this one every year. It always gets me in the mood for Christmas. Haha! Reviews are very much appreciated.