Chapter 28 – The Old and the New
Remus arrived at King's Cross Station on 1st September with his trunk in his hand and a heaviness in his stomach. This was the day that, for the past five years, he'd longed for all through the summer: the day when he could return to his dorm and his classes and, most importantly, his friends.
But today felt different. This was his last year at school and the first that his mum hadn't been there to see him off. He was glad to leave his grieving father and the house that felt too empty with her gone, but there was a sense of finality about it. Remus would, as always, be staying at Hogwarts over Christmas, and at the end of the year he would be leaving school and finding a place of his own. After Hogwarts, he would have to find a way to get through life as an adult, daunting enough on its own, and he wasn't naïve enough to think that everyone would be as accepting as his friends had been about him being a werewolf.
He had apparated here alone, and he'd left his home behind - for good. He wondered if this was how Sirius had felt when he'd moved in with the Potters - but he doubted it. Sirius had always had anger to hang on to, but Remus had only a sadness that seemed to weigh him down.
Of course, more than one thing had changed. Remus made his way through the crowd of parents, children, teenagers, luggage, owls, cats, and toads until he spotted his friends. Sirius was sitting on top of his trunk, Peter was rummaging through his things, and Mr. and Mrs. Potter were standing nearby, saying reassuring things to the parents of a first year.
"Moony!" Sirius exclaimed. He jumped up to hug Remus, only to pause right in front of him. "How are you doing?"
"Fine," Remus said shortly. "Where's James?"
"With Lily," Peter said, pointing. It was hard to see anyone through the crowd, but Remus caught a glimpse of Lily's red hair. "I think Prongs is panicking because it's his first day of being Head Boy."
Peter and Sirius pulled identical expressions of distaste. "I, frankly, am ashamed to call him a marauder," Sirius said. "Head Boy, I mean really."
Remus had entirely forgotten that James and Lily had been made Head Boy and Girl - it had been the last thing on his mind over the past few weeks. He briefly wondered why James had been chosen and not him, but there was of course an obvious answer to that question; werewolves, he suspected, were not generally considered to be Head Boy material - prefects, sure, but not someone who could represent the entire school.
It was nearing 11 o'clock so everyone had started to make their way onto the train.
"We'd better go," Peter said to Sirius, "Or else we won't get a compartment to ourselves."
"Good idea, Wormy. See you when we get there, Moony, yeah?" He hugged the Potters goodbye and they headed onto the train, heaving their trunks behind them. Mr. and Mrs. Potter had already said goodbye to James, but they hugged Remus for good measure before they left, and then Remus had to fight his way through tearful parents and upset children who were too young to go to Hogwarts.
"Hey," he said when he finally got to James and Lily. "Are you coming? We need to get to the prefects' compartment."
"Prefects' compartment," James repeated. "This is surreal, Moony. I don't think I'm ready to be Head Boy. I am most definitely not a responsible adult."
Lily rolled her eyes. "You'll be fine," she said, taking his hand. Remus noticed that they were much more natural around each other than they had been on their caravanning trip. "Come on."
The journey was long and the train was surprisingly hot for September, so the chocolate frogs they bought melted before they could be eaten. For all his expectations of being a terrible Head Boy, James made the new fifth year prefects feel comfortable immediately by telling them about all the rule breaking he'd done in fifth year. Remus was quiet for most of the journey, watching James fiddle with the 'Head Boy' badge on his robes and listening to the quiet chatter of the other prefects. He was almost relieved when it was his turn to patrol, glad to stretch his legs and check that nobody was breaking any rules before the school year had even begun.
They finally arrived at Hogsmeade with a buzz of excitement amongst the students and rumbling stomachs.
"First years!" James began calling loudly. "First years, follow me this way towards the boats!"
Lily exchanged an exasperated look with Remus. "I'll go and tell him he's leading them in the wrong direction - you go get in a carriage."
Remus nodded, joining the hundreds of students walking along the platform. The carriages were standing where they always were, waiting to set off towards Hogwarts - except that every year before now, they had moved of their own accord, and this year Remus was surprised to see that they were being pulled by huge black horses with skeletal bodies and leathery wings.
"Weird," he murmured, but then he saw Sirius waving to him from the doorway of one of the carriages. He had just reached the carriage when he heard a scream. Everyone turned in the direction of it, and Remus saw a young boy, probably a second year, jump back as one of the horses bent its head down towards him.
"What's up with him?" Sirius asked.
"I guess those horses are pretty terrifying if you're only four feet tall."
Peter gave him a strange look. "Horses?"
"Yeah, the ones pulling the carriages."
"There's nothing pulling them, Remus," Peter said. "They always pull themselves."
"Are you feeling okay?" Sirius asked.
"Fine," Remus said again, confused but unwilling to press the point when people were already checking on his wellbeing every five minutes. He was spared from having to respond to Sirius' concern by answer by the arrival of James, Lily, Alice and Mary.
They squeezed into the carriage together, the seven of them finding it much harder to fit than it would have been just a few years ago. The girls were already catching up, with Lily just finishing a story about James doing magic at Petunia's wedding.
"How about you?" she asked Mary just as the carriage started moving. "I've not spoken to you in nearly a month, what've you been up to?"
"Well, uh," Mary glanced awkwardly at Sirius. "You know we went to visit family in Wales, and I- erm, met someone, actually. And I guess I'm dating them since we kissed and stuff."
"That's great!" Alice said.
"Yeah," she smiled, "it was unexpected but they're so nice and funny and I really like them actually."
"I can't believe you didn't write to me about this!" Lily said. "What's his name?"
"Erm." Mary hesitated – dipping her head and clasping her fingers together – pausing just long enough for Remus to figure out exactly why she was hesitating. "Her name is April."
"Oh, sorry, I didn't - Mary, that's wonderful," Lily said earnestly.
Remus wasn't really a part of the conversation, but he shot Mary a smile anyway, glancing away before catching Sirius' eye, who raised an eyebrow at him and shrugged his shoulders lazily.
The conversation dwindled into silence until Sirius said, "Hey, did anyone get accosted by Slughorn on the train? I heard he'd gathered his favourites in a compartment and bribed them with food to get them to come to Slug Club."
"Yeah, he practically dragged me through the door," Alice replied. "I managed to escape after half an hour of listening to all the purebloods going on, as usual."
"I don't think he's particularly fond of me anymore so no wonder I didn't get an invite," James said. Remus didn't find this surprising, considering that the last time James had been to the Slug Club, he'd started a fight and basically gotten thrown out.
"I'm not going to bother going this year," Lily said. "Well, maybe I'll go to the Christmas party if he does another one this year, but in general I'll be too busy and his get-togethers are tedious at best."
"Yeah, same. I don't think there's any point in me going now that Frank's left school. We only really went for the dancing." Alice glanced out the window. "Oh look, we're nearly here."
They all attempted to look out of the small square windows at the same time, which led to rather a lot of knocking heads. This was the last time any of them would arrive like this, with Hogwarts rising up above them, light pouring out of the windows and reflecting on the lake. The thought struck all of them at once, and they were silent as they got out of the carriages and climbed the stairs to the front entrance.
As usual, there were hundreds of candles floating above them in the Great Hall, and the tables were laid with plates and goblets, ready for the feast that would soon appear. Everyone took their seats and fell silent as McGonagall led the first years inside. She gestured for them to stop at the front of the hall and placed the old, dusty, battered sorting hat on the stool.
The first years all gasped as it opened its mouth and began to sing, and Remus smiled at their expressions.
Hear my story, heed my words,
As I sort you to your houses.
Though I separate you from your peers
I dread this cause of rising fears.
How do we trust them? What do they know?
When really you're the same.
Talk of greater magic brings me to shame
With power struggles, who is to blame?
But those who first divided a common group
Of children just like you
Into pure and noble, kind and smart
They may have doomed us from the start.
I do not mean to bring you down,
With words of separation,
But we must stand together, turn the tide,
Or else be forced to pick a side.
And what comes to pass this coming year,
Will surely bring you joy;
Learning magic, feasts and friends,
Should be truly how the story ends.
Just remember then, as I tell you now,
You are as one united,
For I see the warnings, know the score,
But trouble you, I will no more.
Silence followed the song, and Remus exchanged a worried look with James, who was sitting across from him. But once McGonagall stepped forward and started reading the names of first years from a long scroll, everything fell into the familiar routine of the sorting and the feast. When they finally made their way up towards the Gryffindor tower, James and Lily leading the first years, everyone was very full and sleepy so there was a pleasant calm about the place, other than the whispers of first years who were enchanted by the moving stairs and paintings. With the relative quiet, it was therefore impossible for Remus not to overhear the conversation between a pair of fourth years.
"I heard Katya Greengrass' mum was asked to join Voldemort's followers."
"Shit, really? Isn't Voldemort the one who organised that attack on some muggleborns in July?"
"That's what the Daily Prophet said, yeah."
"I know Greengrass is a pureblood and all her family are Slytherins but woah."
"Yeah, I know. Her mum said no though – I've heard their family's pretty elitist but not that bad. That's why they attacked her, because she wouldn't do whatever they wanted."
"Seriously? That's awful. Is she okay?"
"She's still in St Mungo's. I don't really know the details."
Remus tried to pretend he hadn't heard the conversation, but it repeated in his mind over and over as he got ready for bed. Peter's snores soon filled the room, Sirius stopped fidgeting, and James' breathing became slow and steady, yet Remus couldn't seem to get his eyes to stay closed or his mind to shut off.
It must have been past two in the morning when he finally resigned himself to a sleepless night and got out of bed. He knelt down on the floor and gently undid the clasps on James' trunk, which hadn't been opened since it was packed, and being dragged and lifted around had rendered any neatness there might have originally been to a disorganised pile. Of course, there was a very good chance that James had packed it that way in the first place. Trying not to crinkle pieces of parchment or drop any gobstones, Remus felt around for the invisibility cloak and found it being used as padding around a big bottle of ink.
He managed to extract it without making too much noise and slipped it over his shoulders as he padded down the stairs in his slippers and dressing gown. There were a dozen worries circling Remus' mind like vultures that hadn't been there that morning, and there was only one of them that he expected to find answers to in the library, so when he got there he went straight to the section on magical creatures. He murmured "lumos" and held his wand up to examine the spines of all the books. There were several on dragons, a few on dark creatures, some on magical pests, and finally, a copy of Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them. It wasn't the most advanced book in the world, which was why Remus hadn't brought his copy with him to Hogwarts since fourth year, but it would do.
He leafed through it, glancing over the descriptions of all the creatures he wasn't familiar with, but he got to the Yeti without finding what he was looking for. He shoved the book back on its shelf, deciding that Newt Scamander should no longer be considered an expert on magical creatures.
Just what were those horse creatures that he'd seen pulling the carriages? There was a faint recollection of something at the back of his mind, but he had no idea what they were called.
The magical creatures section proved to be useless, so Remus wandered up and down the other aisles, skimming titles. It was, surprisingly enough, in the divination section – which he had never visited before – that he came across something useful. The title was Death Omens: What To Do When You Know the Worst Is Coming, and Remus would have paid it no attention if not for the fact that the book hadn't been put back properly and he could see half of its cover, on which there was a black, winged horse.
He pulled the book off its shelf and sat down at one of the small tables. He ran his finger down the contents page, but none of the chapter titles meant much to him so he flicked through the pages. The first thing that caught his eye was a picture of a huge black dog that could have quite easily been a drawing of Sirius, the title of which was THE GRIM in big black letters. He didn't stop to read that section, instead flipping forward until he found the picture that was on the front cover.
Finally, he thought as he began to read.
Thestrals are one of many types of winged horses, possessing large leathery wings, a skeletal body, and reptilian facial features. They are very rare and considered to be dangerous by the Ministry of Magic, who have officially given them the classification XXXX, along with creatures such as the runespoor, demiguise, kelpie, and troll. Thestrals are considered by many to be an omen of death as bleak as the Grim, but the only solid evidence of their connection to death suggests rather the opposite. Thestrals do not seem to foretell death so much as follow it; they can only be seen by those who have witnessed death, and to all others they are entirely invisible. The limitations of this are not known, for example it is unclear whether it is only humans who experience this phenomenon, or whether it applies to other intelligent creatures such as centaurs and merpeople.
Well, that explained that. Remus had thought he'd heard of a creature you could only see after you saw someone die, but he hadn't expected a whole herd of them to great him the moment he got to school. He was glad it was his last year; there would be no need to use the carriages again, and he hoped he'd never have to see another thestral. It was hard enough not to be reminded of his mum as it was, without seeing symbols of death around the school grounds.
He was on his way back to the Gryffindor Tower when he heard voices inside Professor McGonagall's office. Since he was wearing the cloak and the door was slightly ajar, he leant closer and peered in, wondering who was out of bed so late and whether he would get in trouble for being up if he acted as a prefect and told them off.
But it wasn't students he saw – it was McGonagall and Dumbledore, sitting across from each other over McGonagall's desk and talking in low voices.
"You can't really think that's a good idea, Albus."
"Why wouldn't I? The students have a right to know the truth about what's happening. If a war is coming, they ought to be ready for it."
"Ready for it?" she repeated. "None of us will be ready for it, let alone children. They are safest if they're left out of this."
"It will affect all of us, Minerva, no matter how young and innocent. Voldemort will not have mercy just because they are underage."
"They're safe here," McGonagall insisted. "What you're talking about – you'd be practically recruiting them."
"There are some very gifted witches and wizards at this school. It could make a difference to have them on our side."
"That isn't enough of a reason," McGonagall said. "You cannot put their lives at risk for – for the greater good."
Dumbledore sighed heavily. "Hard decisions will have to be made, you know that. We will have to choose between what is right and what is easy."
"I don't believe that putting teenagers in danger is right, Albus."
Dumbledore rose from his seat. "It is of no use discussing it just yet. There will be time enough for that later. For now, the night is old and so am I. Goodnight, Minerva."
McGonagall said nothing. Remus had to move out of the way as the door opened, and he waited until Dumbledore's footsteps had faded before he glanced back inside the office. McGonagall had removed her glasses and was rubbing the bridge of her nose.
There was nothing else to see, so Remus slowly made his way back to bed, but any small hope he'd had of sleeping had been extinguished. Did Dumbledore really think a war was coming? Wasn't that a bit extreme? There hadn't been conflict in the wizarding world since Grindelwald in the 1940s, and even that hadn't been a full-blown war. Could something so terrible really be on the horizon?
Remus had thought earlier that day that things would be different this year, with the end of their time at school looming ahead, but it seemed he had underestimated just how much was about to change.