entry_12
1859 hours, Wednesday, February 7, 1973.
I need to talk to Herr Engineer. The only reason I haven't yet is that I do not want to talk to Herr Engineer.
This is extremely frustrating. I have been in the surgery with him and Herr Medic all day. There have been plenty of opportunities for me to speak with him privately, but I cannot gather the... willpower, I suppose, to communicate before Herr Medic returns. I do not understand this at all; before if there was some task that needed to be completed, I would simply do it. There was no deliberation, no question of how I would approach the task unless it was to determine which method had the highest probability of success, and now I am standing here for hours over the gurney and letting every opportunity pass by as though that will keep me from having to speak with him eventually. It is maddening in its futility. Hopefully I will be able to find what discrepancy in my programming is causing this and learn to bypass it.
Though I suppose extraneous factors are to blame as well. It doesn't help that Herr Engineer is entirely focused on the project at hand. Herr Medic and myself are doing most of the work of course; our patient may have eleven doctorates, but he has no training or experience in the medical field save for emergency first aid and the time when he amputated his own perfectly healthy hand for some reason. That does not stop him from being at least as enthusiastic about it as Herr Medic. Which, besides giving me a reason to be hesitant about approaching him about his humanity, goads him away from conversation about anything but his body.
For instance:
E-001: It's really coming together well, ain't it?
0031: I suppose, though ain't is not actually proper terminology.
E-001: And it's my business if I want to use improper terminology or not, ain't it? Anyhow like I said, them bones seem to be knitting together just fine. Still ain't any skin over the connective tissue here, but that'll come soon enough I figure.
0031: Er, ja, the ectoderm und endoderm should be the next things to develop if all goes well. Then we will have to attach it to the main body.
E-001: Anything I can do to help just now? Make things run faster?
0031: Well no, it is as Herr Medic said. You cannot just adjust things on living tissue und make the processes happen faster, not if you do not want him to start experimenting with, er, alternative procedures.
E-001: Yeah... I guess I don't want that. Still, it's gonna be so nice to be myself again.
0031: But you are yourself now too, are you not? You are simply in a different chassis.
E-001: You know what I mean. I want to be able to feel things like normal, and eat meals and have that sting in my knuckles when I throw a punch. I miss human stuff.
0031: About these "human stuffs", Herr Engineer. Do you, ah... do you have a moment to talk? I wish to ask you something privately.
E-001: Can it wait? I mean, I don't want to distract you from your work.
0031: Well I did think that maybe since Medic is gone we could discuss-
Medic unit: (enters loudly) Ha, I have found the extra spray bottles und pipettors! Now we can keep it properly moist!
E-001: Hot damn! Sorry Thirty-One, let's just talk about it later.
And so forth.
There is also the problem of interruptions. When these arise in the guise of a team member they are troublesome enough; when it is Miss Pauling, the situation is much worse.
Thankfully she only came into the surgery once today, and what is more we had plenty of warning when it happened. We had just started examining the upper right quadrant of the abdominal wall to see how far along it was when the door crashed open. Soldier put down the boot he'd just used to surpass the lock and barged inside, shortly followed by Demoman. Herr Medic said something very impolite in German.
Medic unit: How many times must I tell you-?!
Demolitions unit: Sorry Medic, I was going to stop him but we've got a wee bit of an emergency-
Soldier unit: MISS PAULING IS COMING PRIVATE SO GET YOUR SORRY ASS IN GEAR! ALSO I HAVE ALREADY TOLD YOU HOW I FEEL ABOUT LOCKED DOORS IN MY BASE!
Herr Engineer backed away from the gurney in alarm.
E-001: What's she coming here for?
Demolitions unit: Agh, it's the Scout bothering her. She was half-running down the hall last I saw her with the lad close on her heels.
0031: He certainly enjoys bothering people, doesn't he?
Herr Engineer ran a hand over his face, then quickly stopped as the humans flinched at the scraping noise it made.
Medic unit: Stop DOING that!
E-001: Sorry, keep forgetting. But we'd better get out of sight Thirty-One.
I looked up briefly as he steered me backward toward the supply closet. For the first time since I could remember, I almost wished that he had a fleshy face again so I might be able to discern what he was thinking, however clumsy my expression-deducing might be. As it was his gaze seemed fairly intent upon me before he looked back to the door of the closet. It was probably foolishness, but for a moment I thought that perhaps he already knew about the meeting with 0396. It seemed prudent to distract myself, so I turned my attention to the little closet. It could not have been more than 1.5 meters squared in area, even without the supplies in it.
0031: Is that big enough for both of us?
E-001: Don't really matter, does it? We'll make it work.
Demolitions unit: You know, it'd have been smart to have thought about hiding places available in the surgery BEFORE Miss Pauling was actually going to show up.
E-001: Shut your trap; we've been busy.
Footsteps echoed in the hallway, swifter and lighter than the ones that had preceeded Demoman and Soldier. Soldier spun around on his heel and barged into the hall.
Soldier unit: HOLD IT RIGHT THERE MISSY! I NEED TO MAKE SURE YOU ARE NOT A ROBOTIC IMPOSTER!
Miss Pauling: Soldier, move. I don't have time for this today.
Medic unit: Why aren't you both concealed yet?!
Herr Engineer grabbed my arm and pulled me into the closet, which was a bit unnecessary as I was already halfway inside. Then he reached forward and pulled the door completely shut so that the only lights came from the bottom of the door and our optical receptors. I could see Herr Engineer watching the back of the door with rapt attention in the dim blue glow. As well as he could given our restricted mobility in such a small space, he leaned his head toward the door to listen. I did the same.
Soldier unit: WAIT- THAT IS A RESTRICTED AREA MISS PAULING, YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED-
Miss Pauling: You kicked the door down again?
Soldier unit: IT WAS LOCKED!
Miss Pauling: Because it's a restricted area, right? Hello Medic. Hello Demoman.
Medic unit: Oh hallo Miss Pauling! Und to what do I owe this pleasure?
Miss Pauling: Nothing, I just thought it would be good to check in on things back here.
Demolitions unit: Did ye now? From what I saw there was a bit more to it than-
Miss Pauling: Okay, yes, I'm avoiding Scout. Can you blame me though? He hasn't given me a moment's peace since I got up this morning.
Demolitions unit: Aye, I understand. Maybe we could convince him to climb the fence and run through the robots.
There was a low chuckle, probably from Herr Medic.
Medic unit: I doubt he would get very far by himself.
Miss Pauling: I just hope we can get through to the Administrator soon. You guys looked at our equipment, right?
Medic unit: Yes, yes we did.
Miss Pauling: And you're sure there's nothing wrong on our end?
Medic unit: As sure as I can be. Electronic devices of that nature do not fall within the field of my expertise.
Miss Pauling: (sigh) It's times like this that I wish we still had the Engineer.
Everyone in the room was quiet for a few seconds. Engineer shifted toward the door slightly so he was almost touching it.
Soldier unit: WELL... WELL MAYBE RED WILL COME FIND US SOMEHOW. RED SOLDIER DOES NOT HAVE MY LEADERSHIP SKILLS BUT THEY AREN'T COMPLETELY USELESS.
Miss Pauling: They have to know where we are. This is the base you were supposed to be moved to anyways. It's just a matter of getting any sort of message out to them so we can coordinate something. It will be a lot easier to get out of here if...
She trailed off.
Demolitions unit: If what, lass?
Miss Pauling: What if we DID get Scout to climb the fence?
Demolitions unit: What d'ye mean?
A shadow moved across the bottom of the door. I think Miss Pauling had started to pace in front of it.
Miss Pauling: If Gray's disrupting our communications through outside interference, that's only going to be effective through a certain range, right? So to get a message through we could just have someone break through the enemy lines and make contact from there. We might even be able to hook up a radio on a different frequency to keep in touch with whoever we send out, depending on what sort of interference he's sending our way.
Medic unit: Hmm... the idea certainly has merit. But do you think Scout would be able to manage that?
Miss Pauling: Well Scout may be an idiot, but he's not completely incompetent. The Administrator never would have hired him if he didn't know what he was doing. It might be good to see if we can't get Spy to go too, in a different direction, just in case.
Soldier unit: AND I CAN GIVE THEM BOTH ROBOT LESSONS SO THEY WON'T GET CAUGHT! THIS PLAN IS FOOL PROOF!
Demolitions unit: Sure ye can, Soldier. And I have to say one thing; convincing Scout to do it shouldn't be any problem.
Scout unit: Convincing me to do what now? Hey Miss P!
Medic groaned and muttered something I did not hear clearly.
Miss Pauling: Hello Scout.
Scout unit: Seriously though, what is it you want me to do? I could probably do just about anything you want; I am the BEST at-
Miss Pauling: ACTUALLY, er, we were wondering if you'd help us make contact with the Administrator.
Scout unit: HELL yeah I can help with that. What do you need me to do, huh?
Miss Pauling: Well... here, let's go for a walk and I'll tell you.
Scout sputtered.
Scout unit: Wait wait wait, you're asking ME to go on a walk with YOU?
Miss Pauling: ...yes. I'll probably regret it, but yes. The smell in here's making me a little nauseous. What is that anyways Medic?
Medic didn't answer immediately. Engineer leaned the side of his head all the way against the door, listening intently. I stood as still as possible. The only sound was Scout babbling giddily, and that was even starting to fade away.
Medic unit: It is a little difficult to explain, Fraulein. Ah, I found some old body parts I had stored und wanted to see if they were still usable, so...
Miss Pauling: Usable for what? You're not going to be replacing people's ARMS are you? That doesn't seem very practical.
Demolitions unit: (quietly) Lass, he's left without ye.
Miss Pauling: Ack, he would. Scout wait up, you forgot me!
We sat very still and quiet in the closet as her footsteps pattered away. I moved my hand down toward the knob, but Herr Engineer grasped my wrist and shook his head just slightly. He didn't let go until someone opened the door from the other side.
Medic unit: She's gone for now.
I cautiously exited the closet, feeling very nervous.
0031: But what if she returns?
Demolitions unit: Don't worry yourselves about that. Soldier and I can watch out for her until ye think of an excuse to keep her away from here.
Soldier unit: AFFIRMATIVE! I WILL THINK OF A REALLY BRILLIANT PLAN TO KEEP HER OUT OF THE SURGERY AND IT WILL BE LOVELY!
Medic unit: Thank you Soldier, now please if you could both leave that would be wonderful.
They both left. Herr Engineer walked over to the door and propped it up against the wall before coming back to the gurney.
0031: I suppose... I suppose we should keep working then, ja?
E-001: What the hell am I going to do once I'm me again?
Medic unit: Mmm? What do you mean?
Herr Engineer approximated a sigh, as he often does.
E-001: Me being human again ain't gonna solve the other problems I've dug myself into. I'm still gonna have to hide from the Administrator same as I'm doing right now whether I stay on the base or not.
0031: Was, you might leave?
Medic unit: Mmm. Perhaps you should worry about that obstacle once it comes up. In the meantime we have a body to construct, yes?
E-001: Right. Sorry.
I did not want to continue working after that, for obvious reasons, but there really wasn't much else to be done. Herr Medic is just now trying to determine how long it will be until he can start sewing things together, though, and it seems like he might leave the surgery soon. If he does, well. Herr Engineer's last statement may be the segway I have been waiting for so I can start talking with him about 0396 and options.
Let's just hope he takes it well.
/entry_12