Chapter 32 – Animagi

A/N: Sorry it's been so long since we last updated! We've been really busy with uni work but we've got more free time now so our chapters should be much more regular. Ten chapters to go! :)

Lily tugged James the last few steps towards the lake, its black water shimmering in the dark November evening. The only light was coming from the castle windows, now far behind them, and the soft glow of Lily's wand that she held slightly in front of her with one hand.

The other hand was holding on to James', both of them wearing thick winter gloves, so that their fingers linking together felt clumsier than usual.

"It's a beautiful night," Lily said as she looked out across the lake and to the edge of the forest that quickly disappeared into a jagged expanse of black leaves in the low light.

James hmmed quietly from beside her. He was looking across the grounds with eyes that betrayed the fact he wasn't really concentrating on what they were doing at all.

Stepping in front of him, Lily momentarily let go of his hand and placed a gentle kiss against his cheek, snapping him out of the whatever daydream he'd been engrossed in.

"No one blames you for losing the match," she said softly. "Everyone knows there's a lot of other stuff going on right now."

"I'm the captain, it's my responsibility."

"There are six other people on the team, James. You trained them well but when it comes down to it you can't be in control of everything." When he continued to look downcast, she added, "It's not over, you know. You can still win the cup."

"We're going to get back to practicing as soon as I can schedule it in. Need to keep up morale and all that. It'll have to wait a couple of days though - it's the full moon tomorrow."

They both automatically looked up. It was a clear night, though with a brisk cold wind, and the waxing moon was bright.

"I know you think you need to protect everyone, love. But there's only so much you can do."

As she returned to his side, James watched her and the way her wand-light cast streaking shadows across her face as she moved, lighting up her freckles like the stars.

"I know you all get up at a stupid time in the morning after a full moon to make sure Remus is okay, but you need to make sure you're okay too. I'll be there in hospital wing with Madame Pomfrey all weekend anyway, I can make sure he's alright. Just make sure you get enough sleep."

"I should," James agreed, though he knew that the real reason for his lack of sleep was down to spending the night as Prongs. "Thanks, Lily."

When James got back to the dorm, Remus, Sirius and Peter were already there, clad in pyjamas and talking about their plans for tomorrow's full moon. The map and invisibility cloak were already laid out on his bed-side table in preparation.

"You alright?" Peter asked as James sat down on his bed and began to yank off his shoes. "You look kind of gloomy."

"I'm just thinking,"

"A rare and dangerous thing," Remus said.

James threw his shoe at him. "I was just talking to Lily about it being the full moon and was thinking that maybe we should tell her about the whole animagus thing. She already knows the biggest secret" – he gestured to Remus, who replied that he was indeed a mysterious and classified secret – "so maybe it's about time she knew the rest."

"How do you plan on bringing that up in conversation?" Sirius asked, a slight smirk playing on his lips, "Lily, I know that I'm a STAGeringly amazing boyfriend, but DEAR, I just have to tell you that..."

He was cut off by James placing hand not too gently over his mouth, pushing him backwards onto the bed with the first genuine laugh Sirius had seen from him since losing the match.

"I figured I'd just show her," James said. "I'm not convinced she'd actually believe me otherwise."

"Do we all have to be there?" Peter asked. "Because if Lily gets mad at us for the whole breaking the law thing I don't want to be within reach."

"Just me," James said, trying not to think too much about how that conversation would go. "Tomorrow?"

"Before Remus comes down with Pomfrey," Peter suggested.

"Okay," he said. "I'll do it, if that's alright with you, Remus?"

"Yeah, it's about time she knew."

"What's this about?" Lily asked. James had insisted they talk after dinner and was being very vague about why.

"Come on," James said. "It needs to be somewhere private and Flitwick always leaves his classroom unlocked."

"It's not something bad, is it?" Lily asked. "I mean, you're not breaking up with me or anything, are you?"

James stopped halfway down the corridor and turned to her in bewilderment. "What? Of course not. Definitely absolutely not. You just - there's something you should know about."

"Okay..."

They continued to Flitwick's classroom and James firmly shut the door behind him, magically locking it and pushing a desk in front of it for good measure. Lily was standing with her eyebrows raised and her arms crossed.

"If you're about to tell me you killed a man I want nothing to do with it," she said. "I am far too tired to be burying any bodies tonight."

"No bodies, honest." He paced back and forth a few times. "Look, when Remus told you about being a werewolf, that wasn't the whole story. When the rest of us first figured it out we wanted to do something to help him, but Madam Pomfrey had the healing part covered and the real problem was that Remus was hurting himself when he transformed. We wanted to help but obviously we couldn't be around him during the full moon unless we wanted to start a werewolf boyband, so we - well - I'm just going to show you."

James took a moment to ready himself, nodded firmly, and then transformed.

Lily watched as he scrunched up his nose and closed his eyes, clearly concentrating hard.

And suddenly James wasn't James at all. It was strange to watch, the way his body morphed and regained shape in a way completely alien to Lily, looking almost painful.

Instinctively she took a few steps backwards, blinking rapidly as she took in the form now standing on four legs in front of her, so close to Professor Flitwick's desk that he knocked off an expensive looking set of scales.

"What the..." Lily didn't know what to say. Of all the things she'd been expected as James dragged her into the classroom, her boyfriend transforming into a huge, real life deer had not been one of them.

"You're an animagus?" She asked eventually, her brain finally filtering away enough of her disbelief to make room for logical thought.

James bowed his head and scraped one hoof on the classroom floor, which Lily took to mean yes.

"But that means... oh. Oh no. James Potter you transform back right now. I have a lot to say, but I need to say it to a person, not a deer!"

James changed back and stood sheepishly with his hands in his pockets.

"Sorry for not telling you before now," he said. "It's just that Sirius and Peter are animagi too so..."

"And I suppose they're an elephant and a hippopotamus, are they?"

"A dog and a rat, actually."

"Right. So a stag, a dog and a rat have been hanging around in the Shrieking Shack with a werewolf. That sounds really safe and not at all idiotic."

"Not the Shrieking Shack, actually." He looked at the floor. "It's too enclosed. We tend to, er, sneak out to the forest."

"That's so dangerous!" she said, more loudly than she'd meant to. "Any of you could get hurt, or caught, or Remus could hurt someone else. You can't just have a werewolf wander around the grounds like a stray dog!"

"It's not his fault," James said indignantly. "None of this was his idea, and we're always careful."

"Oh, I don't blame Remus. I blame you and Black and Pettigrew for breaking the law and a hundred school rules at age 17."

"15, actually."

Lily paused. "Hang on, you did notoriously complicated and difficult magic without any help in fifth year? And no one exploded? None of you even got caught?"

James grinned, but this was a mistake.

"Don't you think I'm any less mad at your ridiculous ideas just because the magic involved was impressive."

"In our defence, we did it for Remus," James said. "It just seemed so horrible for him and we thought we could make it a bit more bearable. He's been hurting himself much less since we've been transforming with him."

Lily sighed. "Dammit, now it's hard to be angry at you."

She thought for a moment. "Are you transforming tonight?"

"...that's the plan," James said cautiously.

"Well, just be careful, okay? And I mean actually careful and not the James Potter version of careful. You fly a broom recklessly enough and this is much more dangerous. If you get yourself killed I'll be really bloody angry with you."

James grinned. "You don't have to worry about us," he assured her.

It was only 7.30am when Lily got out of bed. She hadn't been able to sleep much, knowing where James and the others were, worrying this month not just about Remus but also about the rest of them.

She was one of the first in the Great Hall for breakfast, unsurprising at such an early hour on a Saturday, and ate quickly before making her way to the hospital wing.

Given the fact that the sun had barely risen, she expected not to see James and the others until much later in the day, knowing he'd have got no sleep the night before. She was therefore extremely surprised when just as she was about to open the door to Remus' private room it opened from the inside, and Sirius stepped out.

"Oh," he said, clearly not expecting to run into anyone either.

"Oh yourself," Lily replied.

He looked exhausted, with dark shadows under his eyes and the distinct whiff of the forest about him. He was smiling though.

"Is everyone alright?" Lily asked, looking around the door to Remus, who appeared equally exhausted but wasn't showing any obvious signs of serious injury.

"Yeah all fine, don't worry so much Evans, we know what we're doing."

"I'm sure," she replied sarcastically. "You should get some sleep."

"On my way," he agreed, shuffling past her. "Thank Merlin it's Saturday, I don't think I could face McGonagall like this."

He shouted a goodbye to Remus, then left, the usual bounce in his walk distinctly absent under the weight of the lack of sleep and exertion.

Lily took his place on the chair beside Remus' bed.

"How are you?" she asked immediately. The light from the tower window was shining down on him, highlighting a cluster of dense bruising along his right shoulder that was much more obvious close up.

"Not too bad," he replied with a shrug, "nothing that a few potions won't fix."

"Good," Lily said, smiling gently. It still unsettled her, how Remus could talk so casually about his injuries, even if they were painful or would leave lasting scars.

"Hasn't Sirius been to bed yet?" She asked then, pouring him a glass of water and holding it out. "James offered to wait up for me this morning but I told him to get some rest."

"He started staying after the Snape incident," Remus said, "he says he won't be able to sleep until he knows I'm alright, even though he obviously knows anyway - I'm fine." He gestured to himself as though to prove his point. "Anyway, I think he just still feels guilty about it."

"You're sure?" Lily asked, inclining her head as she noticed the faint colour that had crept back into Remus' cheeks while he talked. "He knows you forgave him. And that's an awfully long time to just be down to guilt."

"Well, I don't know. He's just worried, I guess." Remus hadn't really thought about it before; Sirius always used to go straight to bed in the mornings just like the others. It was strange, really, that Sirius should care more than James or Peter. He supposed they had been spending more time together lately, with James being so busy with quidditch and Lily. He hadn't got closer to Peter though - just the same as always. There was something new between Remus and Sirius that he hadn't really analysed before, and he wasn't sure why. Maybe the fight they'd had after what happened with Snape had brought them closer together in the long run.

"Mm, if you're sure that's all it is."

"So are you hanging around here all day?" Remus asked, moving the conversation swiftly on.

"Yeah, Pomfrey wants to teach me about some potions and stuff. I've been looking forward to it actually."

"You'll make a good healer," Remus said.

"I'm not sure if that's what I want to do yet, but thanks. Everything's just a bit up in the air at the moment, you know?"

Remus nodded. He would have difficulty finding a job after Hogwarts, he knew, and with all the trouble brewing it was possible that muggleborns would start being turned away too.

"You should get some rest," she said. "I bet you're exhausted. I should still be around when you wake up."

He smiled at her. "Thanks, Lily. See you soon."