Thank you all for the reviews on my previous chapter!
Duncan left along with Lilly to see his new apartment. I'm happy for him. But I think, deep inside myself, I would have rather known him in Mexico, then in Neptune. Logan was taking a shower, and I hope it would take is bad mood along with the rest. I was feeling like doing something, like kicking some bad guy's ass, or go to school. Anything to move. But I couldn't work on Margaret's case till Taylor actually did something to make his position know to me. And to be honest, I was tired. It wasn't even 10am, and I was already tired.
I was watching TV when Logan came out of the bathroom.
"Veronica? I think we need to talk?" About what? If it could be about Tom & Jerry, that would great.
"Sure, do you think Jerry should let Tom win for once?" I ask him. Of course that's not what he wants to talk about… But do I feel like talking about that? Probably not… Will I even want to talk about that? Probably not… Am I going to have this conversation? Well, one year ago I wouldn't… But now. I was trying to open myself to Logan, and he was trying to, stay out of trouble… We both had to work on each other to make it work. But each day, it was less and less work.
"Veronica…"
"Fine… I can't believe we are doing this…" That's the truth. I know it's normal to have this conversation… After all, I didn't really broke up with Duncan, we had to, but we didn't want to. Logan took a seat next to me while I shut down the TV.
"Do I have to be worried?" Worried about what? Duncan being back? Not at all…
"About Tom eating Jerry? I don't think so, Jerry is little, but he's fast!" I say. It's my defense mechanism, not my fault.
"About Duncan…" Do I still love Duncan?
"Let me resume some facts… I'm sitting on this couch, inside our apartment. We are sleeping in the same bed, for like 4 months now… I tell you I love you at least once a day, and not to mention the fact that am having your baby. Did I mention I love you…" I really hope that's going to make him feel better.
"Are you still in love with him?" No, I am not in love with Duncan!
"I am not in love with Duncan… I loved him once, but now it's over… Totally over. Even if he would come, kneel and sing me a love song right before asking me to marry him, it wouldn't do me anything. It would be weird to have him sing for me, that's sure. Right now, I think as him as an old friend…" With whom I ended up in bed… "What about you? Do I have to worry for you leaving with him to live happily ever after?" Of course not.
"O right… I dream about this day for days!" We both start to laugh. I think Logan feels better now that he knows that I'm not going to run away with his ex-best-friend. He took me closer to him so I could let my head rest on his shoulder. "There something else we should talk about." What else could we possible talk about? Usually we don't talk about such serious stuff. And I feel like if he's going to bring up a subject that's even more serious.
"Yes, I think we still have everything we need to make pancakes tomorrow!"
"Veronica, I'm trying to be serious…" Trying to be serious… Not easy for both of us, I guess.
"Fine… I'll do my best to shut up." I say before sipping my lips together.
"You know, how Duncan thought we were married and all…" Married? Yes, he was looking like if he was about to vomit when he thought we were married. Like if that would be such a surprise… I nod, since I told him I would shut up... "Maybe we should…" Should what? Listen more to each other? I think that's what we do…
"Should what?" I'm pretty sure I won't like what I'm about to hear.
"Maybe we should get marry…?" Great. Duncan comes back, and Logan feels like marking his territory. If he had asked me that, like one week ago. I would have seriously think about it… But now, today, not at all. I took some distance with him and stood up.
"So, Duncan comes back and you think that be asking me to marry you I won't run straight into his arms?" He must really trust me… Normally, I would take my car keys and leave…
"You think that am asking you to marry me just because Duncan's back?" Of course I do! Every girls dream right? Having her boyfriend ask you to marry him just because his scared to see you run towards your ex-boyfriend.
"Well you don't ask it because you really mean it!" Trying to stay calm, in this case, is really not easy.
"So is that a no?" What? I didn't even answer his question!
"It's not a no, it's just that I decide to ignore it! Do you really think I want to marry you just because you're afraid now that Duncan is back? I can see how much you trust me…" He looked at me, and without saying a word, stood up and did what I had felt like doing. He took his car keys and left…
One pm, still not a word from Logan… I was wondering how he would react if I told him I was in labor… I was about to call him with my panic voice, when I heard someone at the front door. I ran towards the bedroom where I almost jumped on bed, pretending to be asleep.
"Veronica?" Logan whispered in the door opening. "Are you sleeping?" No, I'm faking it… Duh…
"Oh, I see you didn't got into a car accident… Good." Well, last time one of us ran outside of the apartment, he ended up in the hospital… And I know what I'm talking about… So far the sleepy voice I should use. He walked near me, and sat on my site of de bed.
"I'm sorry…" For leaving or for his proposal?
"For which part?"
"Both." Excellent. And he seems serious. "I should have asked you to marry me for the wrong reasons…" I know… And it absolutely was the wrong reason!
"So I'm not getting a ring as big as my fist? Or even better, as big as my belly?" I joked turning to face him. He helped me to sit on bed, right before he kneeled in front of me… He know I was joking right!
"I know I asked you to marry me, or almost did, for the wrong reason… So now I'm doing it over." No, Logan, don't!
"Logan…" Really, it's a bad idea…
"Veronica, I love you, and I never stopped loving you. I'm sure that we would have ended up together anyway… Because, that's how epic our love is." Epic… It's not the first time he says that… "This time I'm going to do things right…" He continued, taking something out of his pocket. A little bleu box, with a white bow. "Veronica Mars, will you marry me?" Too late, he did it. And he means it. How can you tell a guy, that you love and that loves you, that you're not going to marry him… He handed me that little blue box over, but I couldn't open it.
"Logan…" How am I going to do that? "Listen…" He was looking so hopeful…
"You're going to say no…" Yes, I mean No. I mean yes, I'm going to say no.
"Look, right now, there are too many reason for you that make you feel like if you have to ask me to marry you…" Exactly, one growing inside me. "I want to be sure, like one hundred percent sure, that when you ask me to marry you, it's not because I'm pregnant or because Duncan is back. And that won't happen until, well a few more months…" Until the baby is porn and a few months old…
"So you do not want to marry me…" That's not what I said.
"Listen to me real carefully…" I start, putting both my hand around his face and look right into his magnificent eyes. "I love you, and believe me, I want to say yes so much, but I can't, not yet."
"If I ask you that again later, you're answer will be yes?"
"If you ask me again later, I'm sure the answer will be yes." I say, handing him that little bleu box over.
"You don't even want to see how it looks like?"
"Nope, I'll see it later…" I say smiling. "If you still want to give it to me then."
"I will." He says, and puts the box in one of his drawer. If I wanted to, I'd just have to wait for him to walk out of the room and open it.
I would have thought Logan to be, I don't know, more disappointed than that… But I can tell you, after what we did, he wasn't looking anything like it. But how will you look disappointed, naked in bed sheets?
"So, do you think Duncan is going to sleep over again?" Logan asks me… We just had sex, and he talks to me about Duncan…
"Wow, isn't that a mood killer…" I say taking the sheets around… Feeling naked.
"What did I say?" well, talking about Duncan right after we had sex… Not the best subject.
"Can we just not talk about him when we're cuddling?"
"Fine… So, what are we having for dinner tonight?" Do you even have to ask? "No not again!" I think Logan doesn't feel like having pizza, ever again.
"Don't ask me if you know the answer! I'll eat whatever you want!"
Duncan came back during the evening… Lilly was talking about how nice her bedroom would look like while Logan was making dinner. Yes, Logan can cook! What did you expect? That I would cook every single meal? No way… Logan is an excellent cook… He was making chicken parmesan. Duncan was playing with Lilly in the living room. We had put a blanket on the ground so she could play, and Duncan had brought some of her toys…
"Daddy is going to talk with Veronica now sweetheart." He said stroking his daughter long blond hair. He stood up and joined me on the couch. Even if I wanted to, I can't possibly stay with Logan in the kitchen while we have company. "So, you and Logan…" We are not going to have this conversation again…
"What about Logan and me?"
"Nothing, it's just…" Just what? You really thought I would wait? "I thought maybe, you and me…" Well that's obviously not going to happen…
"I guess you can say you thought wrong." Or not, in other circumstances, in another world maybe…
"I know. I hope we can still be friends… You would be a good example for Lilly. It would do her good to have you in her life." I'm not sure to be a good role model.
"Of course…" Lilly seems to be a great kid. "She's gorgeous…"
"I know, she looks like her mother…" I don't know what he sees, but I see Lilly in her.
"She looks like Lilly…" Probably because of the big blue eyes and the long blond hair.
"Well, as much as I loved Lilly, I hope she won't look too much like her." Lilly knew how to have fun.
"Dinner's ready!" Logan said from the kitchen. Duncan took Lilly by the hand and we all went to the kitchen.
"It looks delicious!" I said for my lovely boyfriend right before I put a kiss on his lips.
"Everything for my girls!"
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