Ram didn't quite know how this had happenned. It had been a normal day, in a normal home, with a normal list.
-Wake Up
-Practice for Sports
-Screw Up At Practice
-Scream At Stupid Leg
-Practice Some More
-Sleep
-Get Ready for Study
-Go to Study
-(If lucky) Get some private time with girlfriend April for… "private studies"
-Hope that Tanya explains everything without too much nerd speak
-Go home
-Practice Some More
-Thank a deity for no alien weirdness or (Alternatively) curse a deity for alien weirdness
-Sleep
It was a solid schedule. Ram liked steady schedules. After the turmoil of losing Rachel, losing his leg, and fighting alien activity, Ram really liked steady schedules. And somehow, Ram just knew today was gonna be a good day. He jumped out the door, ready for practice. As he kicked his ball around, he allowed himself to relax. Although he had gone through a lot these past few months, not everything was bad. He'd gotten April, after all, and though he felt a little guilty about it, she made losing Rachel not hurt so much. He wasn't sure if she really knew how much he loved her.
As he was busy daydreaming, he heard something crunch underneath his foot. He looked down, to see a small UFO toy in pieces. Frowning, he picked it up. It looked like a really sleek toy, but Ram couldn't see any kids around. Ram shrugged, and threw it somewhere in the distance.
For a minute, Ram thought he heard something say "NOOOO!" But it was a faint sound, and Ram soon forgot about it. After going through his usual "scream at his leg, then practice some more" regiment, he went back in his house to sleep. He didn't even notice that the toy had moved.
Three hours later, Ram woke up to loud banging from the door. After nearly falling off the bed, Ram scrambled to the door.
"Wait a minute," said Ram. Was it the rest of the gang? No one ever knocked on his door like that. It reminded Ram of police.
"Who is it?" asked Ram.
"We are the Judoon. You have illegally attacked a new tourist to this planet. You shall be tried for crimes against the Shadow Proclamation," said the mysterious person.
Ram paused for a minute, thinking if the words were supposed to make sense to him.
"Mate, I think you've got the wrong guy," said Ram.
His door was blasted open. Three Judoon were standing, with large guns.
"No, Ramesh Singh. I think we do not," said one of the rhinoceroses.
It took Charlie several minutes to get to the phone, mostly because his boyfriend still wanted to use Charlie's mouth to other purposes. After much struggle, Charlie found the rotary phone, and said hello.
"Charlie! You've got to help me! Walking rhinoceroses are coming after me. They have guns!" screamed Ram.
"Have you tried calling the police?" offered Charlie. April had told Charlie that calling the police was what you were supposed to do in situations of non-alien danger, and rhinoceroses were from Earth, so Charlie wasn't sure why Ram started calling him "A dumb posh alien!"
"What's wrong?" asked Matteuz. After Charlie explained the situation, Matteuz frowned.
"We should go help him," said Matteuz. "Rhinocerosi do not walk. Or carry guns. This means alien trouble."
"He hung up on me, though," said Charlie, looking faintly hurt. After a pause, he snapped out of it, and steel returned to his eyes. He started placing his shirt on, and texting.
"I assume we'll return to our fun some other time?" said Matteuz.
"Of course. But for now, our friends need help. I can't sit by and wait, while Ram is in mortal—wait. I can't bring the rotary phone with me, can I?" asked Charlie.
"No. It is not like cell phone," said Matteuz.
"Oh. What a pity," said Charlie.