A/N: Happy Friday, my fellow Demily lovers! I'm trying to start my weekend off right by finally updating this fic. Thank you so much for your patience, and a special thank you to everyone who has been providing comments and encouraging words. I truly appreciate everyone of them, and they most certainly motivated me to work on this story. So, without further rambling...here is my latest attempt at a chapter. :)

Chapter Six: Realization

"Over the past week, I've been remembering bits and pieces, but...there's still so much I don't remember," Emily explained with an apprehensive tone while her therapist sat calmly in the chair across from her, listening intently.

Dr. Elizabeth Jordan had been treating Emily ever sense she awakened without her memory, and the doctor could not help feeling sympathetic towards the young woman before her. Emily was beautiful and full of life. Yet, her caution seemed to control her, rendering her continually fragile. Little did either of them know, this was the complete opposite of who Emily really was at the core.

"Tell me about the memories you have remembered," Dr. Jordan encouraged.

Emily paused for a brief moment in thought. "They've mainly been about my husband."

"Good memories?"

Emily smiled softly, the thought of Daniel making her happy. "Yes."

"Have you shared with him what you've been remembering?"

"Yes...and...he's confirmed that they're things that really happened."

Dr. Jordan slowly nodded before tilting her head to the side. "So, have there been any unpleasant memories that you've recalled?"

Emily shook her head. "No...I keep trying to remember things like my shooting...but... it's just blank."

"You mentioned to me previously that you lost your parents at a young age."

"That's what I've been told."

"Obviously remembering your shooting, or...losing your parents will be painful. Perhaps, that's what is keeping your memories at bay."

Emily furrowed her brow at the suggestion. "What are you saying... that I'm only remembering what I want to?"

"Subconsciously... yes, it is a possibility." Dr. Jordan crossed her legs before gently continuing, "There's nothing physically wrong with you, Emily. Your mind is protecting itself. It's sort of like it's trapped."

It made sense. Emily had been feeling like she was at the mercy of her memory, but if she could find a way to take the control back, she wanted to do so. Immediately. "What can I do to change that?"

"I can't say exactly, but as crazy as it may sound...I would suggest trying to remove all barriers and limitations. Figure out where you feel the most free. Spend some time in that freedom... and see what happens."

The ocean water was cold as it rushed over her feet. After her appointment concluded, Emily had returned to the beach house, changed into a one-piece black bathing suite she found in her dresser drawer, and approached the daunting waters. She could not remember ever swimming, but knew she must know how, considering Daniel had mentioned she loved it. As she stood there though, she suddenly realized going for swim had not been a conscious decision, but rather her subconscious had led her to it. Perhaps, this is what Dr. Jordan was referencing. Instinctively, Emily sensed she would find the freedom she was seeking in the endless waves.

And so she began to run towards them, slowly at first, and then with increased speed, until she reached a deep enough point and dove in. It felt strange, but as she began to fight against the forceful current rushing towards her, peace became consuming. Why had she not tried this sooner, she wondered? Memory or not, this felt wonderful.

Realizing she was quite a distance from shore, Emily stopped her strides, allowing gravity to pull her body vertically, but keeping her head bobbing above the surface. Something was pulling her further downwards though. Not literally, but some metamorphic force calling her, asking her to trust it. Emily dove back under the water and closed her eyes, almost as if in concentration. For a while, there was only darkness accompanied by the muffled sound of water surrounding her. But then, a flash of something as another memory began to unfold.

A man was slowly approaching her on the porch of the beach house, a Japanese man. Daniel had just left. The man's coat jacket was hooked over his shoulder. His tone was distinctly disapproving. "You're in love with him."

"Of course I'm not."

"When you came to me. You were just a little girl...so much rage, so much betrayal...I did not want to train you because your emotions... destined you to fail."

"I'm not that girl anymore. I've separated myself from my emotions."

"Then you are lying."

"I would never lie to you," She quietly insisted.

"Then you lie...even to yourself..."

Emily gasped for air above the water's surface. Who was the man in her memory and what training was he referencing? Aiden had mentioned something about training on the beach the other day. Maybe there was a connection. Emily felt slightly disoriented, but knew she needed to continue. Taking a deep breath, she plunged herself below the water again, deeper and longer this time.

"I need to ask you some questions, and I want honest answers this time," Emily demanded as she marched into Nolan's palatial living room with no concern for the fact her hair, wet and disheveled from the ocean, was dripping on his floor. The hot sand had burned her bare feet as she'd plowed her way up the beach after the little deep sea experiment had left her head spinning.

"Okay..." Nolan slowly replied, perplexed by both her appearance and demeanor. She was actually acting like the Emily he knew and loved. "But for the record, I've never not given you honest answers... just limited ones... and it was only for your protection."

"I don't want you to protect me. I just want the truth, Nolan." She softened, taking a breath. "Please."

"All right...but you may not like some of it. I'd offer you a seat, but..." Nolan gestured towards what he assumed was a wet bathing suite under her white cover-up.

Emily ignored him as she paced back and forth with crossed arms. "I've been having memory flashes, and up until today...they've all been pleasant ones about Daniel. But the ones today were different. There was pain and...and anger wrapped up in them. " She stopped, looking over at him. "Did a Japanese man train me?"

"Yeah...Satoshi Takeda. He was your mentor."

"How do I get in touch with him?"

"You can't," Nolan winced. "He's not of this world anymore."

"What happened to him?"

"Aiden killed him..." At seeing the alarm in her eyes, Nolan quickly added, "But in all fairness...he was going to kill Aiden."

Emily furrowed her brow, disturbed by what she was hearing. "Why?"

"It's really, really complicated."

"So, Aiden was telling the truth the other day?" Emily did not want it to be true. She liked her new life. Yes, she desperately wanted to regain her memories, but she did not want them to contradict what and who she had come to know and love.

"A little rough around the edges, but yeah... he was."

"Then it's true...I love Aiden?"

"Yeah, I guess you do. I've always thought Ja -" Nolan stopped himself. There was no need to further confuse the situation by bringing Jack into it. "Aiden asked you to marry him, and you said, yes".

"I don't remember loving him." She shook head, recalling an image that had previously passed through her mind. "He was there on the beach...with Takeda. I was mad..really...really mad. He tried to stop me, and I shoved him against the rocks, threatened him."

"That's because...Ems...you're pretty much a bad ass." Nolan apprehensively waited as Emily took in his words.

"And Daniel...where does he fit into all of this?"

Nolan sighed. "He's been a... casualty... in your greater plan."

"Are you telling me that I've never loved him...ever?" She almost feared his response.

"No. I'm not telling you that." Nolan paused. He had long been an advocate of Emily admitting her true feelings, which he felt certain at one time or another, she had felt for Daniel. But the fact remained, he was a Grayson, a curse for which Emily had never been able to forgive him.

"What about the baby?" Emily asked in a whisper.

Nolan paused again at her pained chocolate eyes questioning him. "Ems, I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but... you were never... actually pregnant. It was a lie."

Emily blinked several times, finding his words to be a harsh reality. "Does Daniel know that?"

"I don't know. I'm not exactly sure what the doctor disclosed to him... Ems... he doesn't know about Aiden, or about your ninja-esk abilities. You're just...socialite Emily Thorne to him. He doesn't know who you really are."

"Well, that makes two of us... What does that mean, Nolan? Who am I?"

Nolan took a deep breath, wondering if he were about to make a colossal mistake. "Amanda Clarke."

By the time Emily returned home from Nolan's, her bathing suite had long since dried, her hair now a tangled mess. Luckily, Daniel was still at work because one thing was for certain, she was not ready to face him yet, not ready to face the man she now knew she had been lying to since they met. The thought made her sick to her stomach.

She'd spent the afternoon exploring the contents of her "infinity box" Nolan revealed he had been protecting in his hidden wall safe. It was all so much to comprehend; her secret identity, her painful childhood, her intricately woven web of revenge she had plotted for years and been inflicting. But it was too bizarre and twisted for Nolan to have simply made all of it up out of thin air which is why Emily found herself believing him.

But she did not feel the way Nolan indicated. She did not feel love towards Aiden or hatred towards the Graysons. Certainly, she could see why she would have hated them after reading those journals, but she did not even feel love for the father she was supposedly avenging. She did not even remember him, for that matter.

Drawing herself a hot bath, Emily bathed and then soaked in the water, considering the vast amount of information she had infused into her brain within the last few hours. As she stared at the bathwater where soapy swirls had formed and were now dissipating, she wondered if it might have the same affect the ocean did at unlocking her memories. Emily took a breath, closed her eyes and slipped under the water. Therefore, she did not hear Daniel's calling when he arrived home and climbed the stairs.

When he entered the bathroom and realized Emily was submerged, his eyes widened in alarm. "Emily!" He yelled in a panic, rushing over to the bathtub, and nearly jumping in with her as he pulled her body upwards, the sudden motion and grasp startling her. Reflexively, Emily pushed Daniel's body from her's, causing his fully clothed self to fall backwards into the water.

"Daniel?" She shrieked, moving the wet hair from her face, her breathing matching her pounding heart. "What the hell?"

"What the hell?" He repeated defensively. "I thought you were trying to kill yourself. You scared the shit out of me."

As Emily's heart rate began to slow to a normal pace, she regained her composure. "I'm sorry to scare you. Killing myself is the last thing I'm trying to do."

"Holy shit," Daniel whispered, still trying to calm himself. "Why were you holding yourself under water like that?"

"I thought it might help me remember more... Earlier today, I went for a swim and...when I was under the water, I started having more memories return. I know it probably sounds crazy."

It did sound a little crazy, but who was he to question any method at regaining her past? Daniel took it in stride as best he could. "Was it helping, just now?"

"I think it was starting to...but I was interrupted," She arched her brow with an annoyed smirk.

Daniel laughed a little at the absurdity of their present state. "I'm sorry I freaked out."

"I'm sorry all your clothes are wet."

Daniel grinned mischievously. "I'm not sorry that you're naked."

Emily playfully rolled her eyes. It occurred to her then that she was simply enjoying her time with Daniel as if this were the way it had always been. How could she feel this way about him now, but possibly not have felt it before? Surely, there was some of this in their past. Surely, her love for him had formed long ago, not just in these recent weeks together.

Shoving all the questions, doubts and fears from her mind for the moment, Emily decided to act on what she felt presently, whether or not it had all previously been a lie. She loved Daniel now. Maybe that was all that mattered. "Tell me something," She began, leaning forward. "Have we ever...you know...in the bathtub?"

Daniel laughed under his breath as her fingers began to unbutton his shirt. "No, I..I can't say that we have."

"We should change that."

Sitting in a grossly oversized shirt, one of Daniel's old button down shirts that wouldn't matter if she splattered paint on it, the shorts she was wearing completely hidden under its billowing fabric, Emily felt content in the morning sun. Her cascading curls fell down her back, the short strands blowing slightly in the wind. As Daniel called her name from behind, she turned her head, casting her eyes over her shoulder, smiling at the sight of him.

Daniel did not think he had ever seen her look sexier than she did at this very moment. It took his breath. "Now this is a sight I could get used to," He commented with a charming smile.

Emily smiled again in return as he walked towards her, a cup of coffee in each hand. "Thank you," She breathed, taking one from him.

"Doing a little painting?" He asked the obvious at the easel and paint surrounding her.

"Yeah, I found this easel in the back of one of the closets. Thought I should put it to good use."

"I'd forgotten you had it, actually. I never really saw you paint or draw very much." Daniel shifted to observe what Emily had been working on, an abstract rendering of Grayson Manor which sat in the distance before her. "This is really good, Em."

"I think my mother was an artist," Emily commented reflectively. "I don't remember it...it's just a feeling I have." Daniel forced a small smile, always struggling with the guilt he felt for erasing her memory. "I think I'm gonna go for another swim... see if I can remember something else."

"Please be careful," He requested, kissing the top of her head. He knew he had to let her go, but the thought of her physical safety concerned him as did the thought of what she might remember.

"Always," Emily assured, rising from the stool to place a kiss to his lips. Daniel stood still as she walked towards the open back doors. He then turned back to the picture she had been painting with a burdened sigh, feeling as though he was on borrowed time. The sudden shattering sound of porcelain as it struck the wooden porch planks caused him to jerk his head back in Emily's direction.

Swiftly, Daniel moved to where she was standing staring at the broken coffee mug and brown liquid scattered all around her. "Em, what's wrong?"

She looked up at him to find a familiar expression of worry reflecting in his eyes. Staring at him for a long moment, her breathing was heavy as she made sense of the images flashing in her head. As the silence continued, Daniel only became more concerned and swallowed the fast forming lump in his throat. "You...shot me," Emily whispered in horror, the image in her mind now clear.

Daniel's eyes grew wide at the realization that his worst fear had come true. "Em...let me explain -"

She looked at him incredulously, her eyes resentful. "Explain? What's there to explain?"

"What I did was horrible. Please...I need you to understand that it was the worst mistake of my life." Automatically, Daniel brought his hands to her face to gently hold it. "Emily, I love you...I love you so much."

"Love me? You tried to kill me! What kind of a sick person are you?" Her words stung him into a momentary silence. "Get away from me," She warned, pulling back and stepping over the broken mess at her feet to make fast strides across the kitchen, grabbing her keys. There were a pair of sandals by the front door, and she quickly slipped them on.

By now, Daniel had snapped out of his daze and made a dash to the front door as well before she could leave. "Em, please wait. We need to talk about this. There's so much more about what happened that you don't know..."

"I know that you shot and left me to die in the ocean, Daniel. That's all I need to know."

"No, it's not. Please just...just stay," He desperately begged.

"What, so you can try and finish the job?" Emily cold retorted.

"Of course not," Daniel insisted in mild horror, taking her face in his hands again. "I would never...ever hurt you like that again."

"Don't touch me," Emily spat, shoving his body away from her own with a force in which he was not accustomed. Daniel looked at her with a startled expression, wondering what else she was capable of inflicting. Seeing that he was giving up for the time being, Emily promptly opened the front door and slammed it behind her.

Logically, she knew she was keeping secrets from Daniel, that she had wronged him too, but this...this had to surpass anything she could have ever done to him. Didn't it? Emily wished she could answer that question, truly answer it, for herself. Not because Nolan or anyone else had told her, but because she simply knew who she was. But she didn't. In fact, she felt more lost than ever.

Another A/N: I intended for this chapter to be a little longer, but I ultimately decided this was the better stopping point. I hope you liked it, and are okay with the direction I've taken it. I have more Demily goodness in store for you in future chapters, I promise. I would love for you to let me know your thoughts. And on another note, I've been working on the next chapter of 'Beyond the Elevator' as well, and it is my goal to have it posted by weekend's end. :)

Love,

Only Hope-7 xoxo