I'm going to make a what if chapter out of this one… But don't worry, it's just for once or maybe twice…
It's been 3 years since that moment with Logan on the plane. 3 years since I last saw him. A lot happened in 3 years… what? I had a baby, Lora. Why I named her Lora? Because it was the closest girl name I could fine for Logan. Since my little girl never had the chance to meet her father, I wanted her to at least have something in common with him. When I found out I was pregnant, I left Neptune. The only persons who knew about it, where my dad, his new wife and my former best friend, Wallace. Wasn't easy to raise a baby and work at the same time, especially without a college degree. But you can win some money as private investigator. I would have stayed in New York, if it wasn't for my dad… He's sick, too sick for me to stay away. So I have to come back to Neptune. For the first time in 3 years, I'm going back home. Not alone, I'm going back home with my little girl. My worst nightmare? Facing Logan… I never told him about Lora. He didn't even know I was pregnant. Like I said, only a handful of people knew about my condition.
"Where are we going mommy?" My 2 and a half year old little girl asked me while I was driving pass the board Welcome in Neptune. Lora is the most gorgeous little girl in the universe. Her light brown hair in two little braids, her beautiful blue eyes, her smile (it's her dad's). And besides being gorgeous and adorable, and I not just say that because she's my daughter, she's also the sweetest and smartest kid I ever saw. Really, she can read (a little bit… but still!) she talks well, and well, she's just smart.
"We are going to see grandpa sweetie." I tell her. She loves my dad, every time he pays us a visit she jumps on him and doesn't want to let him go until he goes back home. Next to me, he one of the most important person in her life… My dad, and of course her prince. Who is he? Wallace of course! He pays us a visit at least once in the month, since she's born, plays with her and always come with gifts… He spoils her.
"Grandpa?!"
"Yes Lora, we are going to see grandpa and grandma. And I think you'll see Wallace too… Remember him?" She's smart, but she doesn't always remember names.
"Wally? Are we going to see Wally mommy?" For some reason she prefers to call him Wally, maybe because it's shorter…
"Yes, we are going to see Wally."
We were walking towards my dad house. Lora was tired after the long road and had asked me to take her in my arms. Maybe I should have run faster, or parked the car closer to my dad's home. If I had done that, I wouldn't have seen the only person I didn't want to see. Maybe the only one I wasn't expecting to see that soon.
"Veronica?!" He said, standing right in front of me. I had been too busy talking to Lora to notice he was walking towards me… Lora, looked up towards the stranger that was standing in front of us. I could tell she was doing her best to stay awake and not to fall asleep in my arms.
"Logan…" I had almost forgotten how cut he was. Lora was looking just like him. Even if my dad says Lora looks like me, I think she looks more like Logan, and I sure hope he isn't going to notice that.
"Mommy? Where is grandpa?" Lora, if you just could try to make you as little as possible. Try not to make him pay too much attention to you baby girl.
"When did you come back?" Logan continued, not paying any attention to Lora. It's a good think, I'm sure of that… It's weird, the first time they meet each other, Lora is exhausted and Logan doesn't even seem to notice I'm holding a 2 year old girl in my arms that looks just like him.
"A minute ago...Didn't you saw it on the news? I'm impressed…"
"Mommy? Who is that?" Logan finally seemed to notice Lora.
"Mommy?" Logan said. Damned, I should have parked closer to the house.
"Yes, Logan this is my daughter… Lora, this is Logan, an old friend…" And your father…
"You had a baby…" Well, obviously I did, didn't I?
"It was nice to see you again, but I was going to my fathers…" I tried to pass by him, but he was faster.
"How old is she?" Please, stop thinking. Just stop thinking.
"I'm 2 !" Lora said, happy that we were talking about her. Did I mention she likes to be the center of the attention? I could tell Logan was thinking, real fast. It wouldn't take him long to addition 2 and 2.
"Like I said, it was nice to see you again…" I said hoping this time he would let me pass. But again, he prevented me from going further.
"Two! Well, you're a big girl then!" Logan continued. I wonder if he would talk to her like that if he knew.
"Not that big!" Lora continued.
"Didn't you want to see grandpa?" I say hoping she would want to go there as soon as possible.
"Yes! Grandpa!" I wanted to go, but again, wasn't able to.
"Logan, let me go…" The sooner I'm at my dad's, the better it is.
"Where is your daddy Lora?" Logan continued and ignored me.
"My daddy? I don't know…" Logan thinks way faster than I thought.
"Where is her father Veronica?" Did he notice the resemblance? Probably…
"I know where her grandfather is, and if you don't let me go I'll call the cops Logan…" I'm not going to tell him. Lora doesn't ask questions about him, well not too much, and I'm perfectly happy like that.
"Really? And you didn't even tell me about it!" Too late, he figured out.
"What are you talking about?" Try to pretend you don't know what he's talking about.
"Veronica Mars, is she…" He didn't finish his sentence. At least that's a good thing. Lora isn't going to understand us.
"Logan… Don't ask and I won't tell…" Lora was wide awake now.
"IS … SHE … MINE?" He continued. Wallace had kept me up to date about Logan during those years… I knew that he had broken up with Parker like one week after the plane incident, and that he hadn't have one decent girlfriend since. I don't even know why I'm telling that!
"Mommy… I'm scared… Grandpa?" Lora was hiding her face in my hair now. I think that the fact that Logan started to scream didn't really helped her.
"You want to talk, fine, let me drop her off at my dad's and then we'll talk."
After dropping Lora off, I had to explain to Alicia why I had to go… My dad was in his bedroom, sleeping but was getting better by the minute, or that's what Alicia said. I told Lora I had to go for one hour. The fact that Wallace was home, helped me keeping her busy. I saw her leave with Wallace and followed Logan to the closest coffee shop we could find.
"So, do they still have good coffee around here?" I say when we're talking place around a table in the corner.
"Really? You're talking me about coffee!" Logan said, and I think he was getting angry.
"I promised Lora to be back in one hour, which means you have 40 minutes to ask me questions…"
"You left for 3 years! Without a call, a letter or a text message! And now, you come back with a little girl, that somehow, looks like me." That's not a question.
"Yes." What else do you want me to say? He's telling the truth… He didn't ask me anything.
"Yes! That's all you have to say? You hide the existent of a girl, my daughter, from me for like 2 year, and all you have to say for you defense is yes?" Oh, so I had to defend myself? I didn't know that.
"Actually, I didn't hide it. You never called, texted or emailed either… You went back to Parker, it was pretty obvious to me that you didn't want anything to do with me so I did what I had to do. I left for New York, had my baby and raised her up. I thought I would tell you if you'd just, I don't know, just let me know you still remembered my name. But you didn't, so I didn't either." That's not the entire truth. I wanted to tell him, but I couldn't. Why would I ruin his life? He was Logan, the guy that I had loved, with all my heart. But also the one that repeatedly made the same mistakes.
"So you basically didn't think I deserved to know that I had a daughter… Does she even know anything about me?" I'm not a monster! She knows everything about her father, expect his name. But she knows that I named her after him.
"She knows that her father was once my boyfriend, that he has no idea she exists, but that he's a great man, with her sense of humor and smile. I answer every single question she has about you… I even had a photograph of you on my phone in case she asks me how you look. But she didn't." Maybe I went a bit too far? "And why are you even mad? You went back with Parker! You didn't even want to contact me when you guys broke up, even after Wallace told you you should, because I know he did!" I know it because he told me.
"So it's my fault I had no idea of my daughter?!"
"Yes, no! Let's just try over again will ya." No need to get angry at each other.
"Try over what?" Not sure which one is the angriest.
"Let's just try to stay calm and have a calm conversation."
"How is she like?" He said after two minutes of silence.
"She's smart… Like very smart, loves to play, but not with other kids… She doesn't have much friends, expect for Tommy. Her favorite story is Peter Pan… She never liked the princess's story…" I told him randomly.
"Tell me more." It was like he wanted to be fill in on everything he missed.
"Her favorite character is Tinker bell, because she gets red when she's angry and because she can fly. She doesn't like popcorn because it gets stuck between her teeth… She doesn't want to go to bed before 8, not if I don't but her in bed myself and hug her till she falls asleep. Her favorite color is bleu, like the sky. She doesn't like snow, because he doesn't like the cold. Her favorite place at home is in the bathtub, I don't know why, but she always ends up in it. She likes to play dress up, but only if I play along with her." There so much I could tell him on Lora.
"She has your eyes…" I know that.
"And your smile."
"Why Lora?" He wasn't angry anymore… At least, I think.
"Because I wanted her to have something from you… Logan, replace the G by an R and erase the N."
"I have a daughter…"
Logan woke up in the middle of the night, looking around in the bedroom. The first thing he searched, was Veronica. Luckily, she was sleeping next to him in bed.
"Thank god!" He whispered as he puts his head back on the pillow…
"You're welcome…" Veronica said… Logan suddenly waking up had awake her too… "Want to talk about it?"
"No, just go back to sleep Veronica… It was just a dream." Veronica turned around to face Logan. His eyes were still wide open. What could he possibly have been dreaming about? Usually she was the one having bad dreams. She took him in her arms and gently kissed his cheek.
"Stay with me Veronica… Don't ever leave me…" He whispered, thinking she was back to dreamland.
"I won't. Now sleep." She said.
"I love you so much Veronica. I don't know what I would do without you."
"Luckily you do not have to find out. Now go back to sleep." He closed his arms around her, and fell asleep holding her tight.
SO? What are you thinking? I had been thinking about this for a while, and I figured I should just write it down…