Chapter 41 – Darkness Takes the Day

It was a bright day, the kind of perfect summer weather that always drove the students out onto the grounds to enjoy it. Exams were over and it was the last week of term, so everyone had gladly swapped their school robes for shorts and t-shirts and gathered in groups on the grass, stretching out in the sun or sitting with their feet dangling into the lake.

The only ones who didn't join them were the Gryffindor and Hufflepuff Quidditch teams, who had alternating practice sessions in the lead up to the last match of the year – the one that would decide who won the cup.

"Okay everyone," James said as the Gryffindor team spilled out of the changing rooms and onto the pitch. He gestured for them to gather round him. "This is the last chance we have to practice before the match. I know I don't need to tell you how important it is that we do this right. Hufflepuff are set to win the cup if we don't beat them by at least forty points, and we can't let that happen! This is my last year, and Sirius' and Mary's too, so we'll never get another shot at this. We won last year and we can't let anyone take that trophy away from us, do you hear me?!"

"Yes, sir!" Mary said sarcastically. James glared at her, so she added, "You don't need to worry, you know; we've got this match in the bag."

"We won't be winning anything if our seeker doesn't show up," Sirius said. "Benjy, where's Chloe?"

"She went home for the weekend for her brother's birthday," Benjy replied, glancing at his watch. "I know she was going shopping this morning for stuff for our trip but she said she'd be back here in time for practice."

"What's she buying for your romantic week away?" Sirius asked, waggling his eyebrows.

"I have a few guesses," Mary said, grinning.

Benjy went red. "Shut up! She's shopping with her mum, idiots. They probably just got carried away and are running late."

James frowned. "Doesn't she know how important this is? We're counting on her to get the snitch - she needs to be ready!"

"I'm sure she'll turn up before we're done," Mary said, shrugging. "Now are we practicing or just standing around talking about it?"

"Alright," James agreed, "everyone in the air."

"Gryffindor, Gryffindor, GRY-FFIN-DOR," Sirius chanted as they mounted their brooms, and the rest of the team joined in, all laughing and whooping as they whizzed across the court.

James felt exhilarated by the time the practice session was over. He, Benjy and Mary had been the team's chasers for long enough that they worked quickly and smoothly together, and the beaters had been so enthusiastic that James had needed to tell them to stop hitting the bludgers so hard before they sent one of their own teammates to the hospital wing. Chloe hadn't turned up, which was frustrating when the outcome of the match was so reliant on her, but the Hufflepuff seeker had only joined the team this year and James didn't think Chloe would have a difficult time beating him to the snitch.

They made their way back to the Gryffindor tower, complaining about the heat and planning to all freshen up before they joined their friends outside by the lake, but they were surprised to find that the common room was even more packed full of students than it had been during exam time. They barely made it through the portrait hole before getting stuck in the crowd. They were surrounded by people exchanging anxious glances and whispers.

Lily spotted them and quickly made her way over.

"What's going on?" Mary asked her.

"I'm not sure," Lily said. "Dumbledore came down to the lake and told everyone to go to their common rooms. McGonagall's about to make an announcement but she was waiting for you lot to get back, I think." Lily gestured and, sure enough, McGonagall was standing at the bottom of the stairs leading to the dorms, her lips pressed together and her hands clasped so tightly that her knuckles had turned white. "I tried to ask her about it since it seems like the Head Girl and Boy should know but she said she wanted to tell the whole house together."

Before James could reply, McGonagall began to speak and the whole house fell silent.

"Now that everyone is here, I'd like to have your attention." She paused, and James saw her swallow as though she was struggling to say whatever she had to tell them. "There is no easy way for any of you to hear this, but a Gryffindor student has passed away."

It was as though the whole house took a sharp breath at once, and heads turned as people tried to figure out who was missing.

James felt his heart grow cold, but even though he felt Lily take his hand and Benjy brush against him as his eyes frantically searched the crowd, he couldn't bring himself to look at either of them. He didn't want to see his pain reflected in someone else's expression as they came to the same conclusion he did.

McGonagall continued, her voice shaking slightly with what James realised was rage. "I wish I could tell you that it was a tragic accident, or a sudden illness, but it was not. It was a deliberate attack on muggles by the followers of the man – an evil brute – calling himself Voldemort. Chloe Bailey was a muggleborn, barely even sixteen, and she had the terrible luck of being caught in the attack. She was killed instantly."

Beside him, James heard Benjy make a sound somewhere between a gasp and a sob. Their shoulders touched and he could feel that Benjy was shaking. Grief was spilling from James' heart like ink through water as the words began to sink in.

Chloe Bailey. Barely sixteen. Killed instantly.

McGonagall paused again, looking down at her hands to compose herself, and when she looked up her gaze briefly met James'.

"I'm very sorry for all of you, as I know how many of you loved her and cared about her, and I know how sorely she will be missed – I will miss her too. Her loss is a huge blow to everyone whose life she touched. If any of you need someone to talk to" – she glanced at Benjy – "my door will be open. Madam Pomfrey can prepare sleeping or calming draughts if anyone needs them. I hope that as Gryffindors you will all find the courage to support each other through this. This summer will be a difficult one for many of you and I trust you not to let anyone deal with this alone."

There were tears in her eyes, but she didn't shed them; James knew she was being strong for them, and he knew that as Head Boy he was supposed to be strong too, but he wasn't sure he was capable of it right now.

As McGonagall left and all eyes turned to Benjy, James felt Lily squeeze his hand pointedly. He clasped Benjy's shoulder, but before he could find the words that would offer some form of comfort – if words like that even existed – Benjy shrugged him off.

"Don't," he said. "I can't be here."

He practically ran out of the portrait hole, but when James tried to follow him, Sirius grabbed his arm. "Leave him be, Prongs."

"But he shouldn't be on his own," James protested. He felt like he had to help in some way, had to do whatever he could to fix this, had to do something.

Sirius shook his head. "He knows you're there for him, mate. If he wants to talk, he will." As though hearing James' thoughts aloud, he added, "There's nothing you can do right now. That's just the way it is."

Everything seemed different. James had walked through the castle a thousand times before, but today, walking hand in hand with Lily, he could feel a tightness in his chest that had never been there before. Everything felt wrong. He was used to Hogwarts being full of life and laughter, but now that had been replaced by a hollowness and eerie quiet that made him want to scream. Everyone had heard about Chloe, and the castle seemed to have fallen into a kind of stasis – no one knew what to say, or how they were supposed to react to their last week of school being defined by something so horrific.

No one had expected something like this, though maybe they should have.

It made James jump when the previously silent halls were suddenly filled with a shrill shout, and he felt Lily tense beside him, felt her hand in his slip away as she glared down the empty corridor.

It didn't take long for them to recognise the voice.

James hadn't seen Benjy since McGonagall had left the common room the previous day. He'd disappeared and, despite the concern of his friends, no one had managed to track him down. Until now. As if on cue, he appeared at the end of the corridor, and he wasn't alone.

Benjy's fists were clenched in the fabric of Avery's robes, but despite the fact that he was a head taller than the other boy, Benjy was still being shoved backwards.

"You killed her," he screamed in Avery's face. He was attempting to bring his fists down against the other boy's chest, but the sobs that were wracking his body seemed to be using up all his energy, making it far too easy for the Slytherin to push him away against the wall. "You killed her," Benjy said again, quieter this time, as if the words still didn't quite make sense to him. From what James could see, Avery had barely touched him, but Benjy still had one hand braced against the wall as though he might fall down at any moment.

"How exactly are we supposed to have touched your stupid girlfriend?" Avery said, regarding Benjy with thinly veiled disgust, "we were right here."

"You're just like them," Benjy spat, "you might as well have."

"I don't have time for this," Avery said. He turned away and James caught sight of who he was with – Snape and Rosier. "I bet you're a filthy mudblood just like your dead little - "

James saw what was about to happen a fraction of a second before Benjy moved. His body had gone rigid and a steely determination had set in his eyes.

Lily had obviously seen it too, because she attempted to call out to him, but it was too late. Benjy launched himself straight at Avery, both of them hitting the ground hard. He raised his arm as if to deliver a punch, but Rosier was on him before he could, forcing him onto his back on the unyielding stone floor.

Everything happened so quickly that by the time James and Lily reached them, Benjy was attempting to shield his face from Rosier's attack, while Snape helped Avery up off the ground.

"Get off him!" James shouted, grabbing Rosier by the back of his robes and pulling him away – but the second James let go, Rosier lunged at Benjy again. Lily pulled out her wand and blasted Rosier a good metre down the corridor. He scrambled up, and James was just about to go after him again when Slughorn turned down the corner and stumbled upon them.

"What on earth?" he began, before stopping to take in the scene. Lily had knelt beside Benjy, who had his head in his hands and was shaking. James and Rosier were only inches apart, both glowering at each other with their fists clenched, while Avery and Snape looked largely unconcerned by the commotion.

"That little wimp started it," Avery declared, gesturing to Benjy. He clearly expected his head of house to side with him, but Slughorn looked downright distressed.

"I think you should go back to the common room, and stay there," he told the Slytherins. "Merlin knows there has been enough bloodshed – "

The Slytherins looked stunned - even more so when Slughorn turned away from them and placed a careful hand on Benjy's shoulder. "Come along Mr. Fenwick," he said gently. "Madam Pomfrey can cook you up a nice calming draught that might help you feel a little better - grief is a terrible thing."

James and Lily watched as Benjy picked himself up and silently followed Slughorn, leaving the three Slytherins standing in front of them in silence.

"You heard him," James spat, "get out of here before we make you."

"I'd like to see you try," Avery threatened, taking a menacing step towards James.

He only stopped when Snape held up a hand to him and said, "don't give them the satisfaction. Potter likes to play the hero – why else would he surround himself with mudbloods and blood traitors? Let them delude themselves into believing the mudblood girl will be missed."

Even as the words left Snape's mouth James could feel anger rising in him. He had really tried – since becoming Head Boy, since he and Lily started dating – to rise above Snape's taunts. But this was too much. A sixteen-year-old girl – his friend – was dead. Benjy was right: someone had to pay.

Fuelled by pure rage, he reached for his wand, but just as his hand closed around the smooth wood, Lily stepped forward, pulled back her arm and punched Snape square in the jaw.

"Go to hell," she said, so close to Snape that the words were barely a whisper.

At any other time, James would have wanted to cheer. Now, he merely watched with a heavy heart as Lily turned to him with tears in her eyes, before taking his hand and pulling him away.

The boys shouted something after them, but James couldn't listen any more. He concentrated on the warmth of Lily's hand in his, in the presence of her beside him as they walked back down the corridor.

In the midst of all the thoughts that were battling for space in his brain, the one he settled on was how much difference it made, having Lily beside him when he felt as though the whole world was caving in on itself.

He stopped walking for a second and she glanced at him, asking, "are you okay?"

"Yeah," James replied, "it's just – I love you, and I don't think I've told you that before."

"I know," Lily replied, managing a brief smile, "and we'll get through this together."

The Quidditch match was on the last day of term, but the usual buzz of excitement about the match and everyone's summer plans was missing. The whole school had gone down to the pitch as always, but instead of the whoops and chants that could normally be heard from the changing room, there was only grim silence.

The seven of them got dressed in their Quidditch gear without speaking. They had a replacement speaker, Lisa, who had tried out for the position at the start of the year but not made the cut. Normally it was exciting for people to replace players who were injured or ill, but she was in Chloe's year, had shared a dorm with her for five years, and she looked on the verge of tears.

When they were all ready, James tried to give one of his usual rallying speeches.

"This is it," he said, attempting to smile, though it felt foreign to him, as though he'd forgotten how to over the past few days. "Our last match. I know we've got what it takes to win. I only wish - " He glanced at Lisa and saw that she was wiping away tears. Mary was biting her lip so hard to keep from crying that it was turning blue. Benjy - well, James had been surprised that Benjy even turned up, though really he was so distant that it was like he wasn't really there anyway.

"I just wish that Chloe could be here to enjoy the victory," James finished, his voice sounding strained. "I know we – that she – "

Unable to find the words, he stepped away from the huddle they'd formed, running both his hands through his hair. Seeing what Chloe's death - her murder - had done to his friends was tearing him apart. He knew he was meant to hold it together, because that was always his job and always had been: whenever Sirius' family knocked him down, James picked him back up again; whenever Peter was teased, James stood up for him; whenever Remus wasn't feeling like himself near the full moon, James stayed with him until he made him laugh. James was Head Boy, Quidditch Captain, meant to be responsible and supportive. He was the glue that held people together.

But he couldn't even hold himself together anymore.

Overcome with a burst of rage, he balled his hand into a fist and punched the wall so hard that the brick splintered and pain ran up his arm.

No one said anything, and when James turned back around he saw that they all looked the way he felt: at once so full of emotions that they couldn't keep them inside, and yet at the same time like they'd been hollowed out, leaving only an empty shell behind. It felt wrong in so many ways to be standing in a space where they had shared so much triumph – had trained and laughed and lived. James could barely imagine feeling like he could laugh again, not when there was a conspicuous gap on the bench that Chloe usually filled; not when her jersey, with the shining number 4 on the back, was still hanging, alone, on the rack behind him.

"I can't do this," Benjy said after a long moment of silence between all of them. "The match. I'm out."

"Me too," Lisa said, her voice wavering. "It doesn't feel right."

Mary nodded. "Sorry James, I just can't see the point in Quidditch when it's so obvious that – that this isn't how it should have been."

James shook his head. "No, you're right," he said heavily. "It feels wrong to play without her. I'll go and talk to McGonagall."

"I'll come with you," Sirius offered.

"We'll all come," Benjy said. He had his arm around Lisa, who was still crying.

Sure enough, they all followed James out onto the pitch. The Hufflepuff team were already there, and when the Captain, Ashby, met James' eye, his expression was sympathetic.

McGonagall and the referee were standing in the centre of the pitch waiting for them. Only the Captains were meant to step up to the middle at the start of the match, but James glanced back to see that his whole team was right behind him.

"Professor, we're not playing," James said. "Chloe should be here, and we can't play without her. We forfeit the match."

McGonagall didn't look at all surprised. She touched James' arm gently and smiled sadly back at the rest of the team. "I understand," she said.

She turned to the referee, who looked to James and said, "In that case I'll have to announce that Hufflepuff win the cup by default."

"No." Ashby, the Hufflepuff Captain, had joined them and was frowning. "That wouldn't feel right – not after what's happened." He glanced back at his team and with a small decisive nod said, "we forfeit too."

James nodded to him. Even the people who didn't know Chloe personally seemed to be horrified by what had happened to her. He hoped it would mean that they would be more willing, in the future, to stand up for muggleborns like her.

"Very well, then," the referee said. "I'll make an announcement."

They all turned to leave as she addressed the crowd, hurriedly stuffing the unused Quidditch supplies back into their boxes and changing out of their uniforms. The Gryffindor team led the way back to the castle, but Lily, Remus and Peter caught up with them, and though none of them spoke, James was glad to know that they were there.

As Lily fell into step with him, he wished with all his heart that he could look at her and only think of her red hair spread across his pillow in the morning, or the look she would get in her eye right before they kissed. He wished he could only think of Sirius as the brother he never knew he wanted until he met a smart-mouthed eleven-year-old on the train, and of Remus and Peter as just the friends who had made his time at school everything he could have hoped for. But that wasn't true anymore. Now he looked at them and felt a gnawing fear too.

They'd all known there was a fight coming, but until now James had never stopped to think about all the people who mattered to him – how lucky he was to have his friends, his family, his girlfriend. And he had never realised how much he had to lose.